Pretty Boy Psycho
Day One

Trainees dressed in blue shirts, white trousers, and blue boots, sit at tables with pencils poised, ready to take notes from their teacher. She must be Master Clover. Has a serious look about her as she gives the boy with black-blue hair dirty glances as he rocks back and forth on his chair. I lean further through the archway attempting to gain some form of attention. This is dead awkward, strolling into class, not knowing anyone. Mega first day nerves.

“Do you need something?” asks Master Clover without bothering to look at me.

“The receptionist told me to join room one hundred and one.” I hold out my note.

Master Clover snaps up the note. Only when she is done reading does she look at me. “You’re two years behind everyone else in here meaning you’ve a lot of catching up to do. I hope you prove to be as intelligent as Cain boasts you are.”

I edge towards the exit as everyone starts up chattering about Cain’s Corey. Mess. Mess. Mess. At least the boy with blue-black hair doesn’t seem the least bit bothered about me. He’s in deep conversation, with a boy with empty eyes, as he keeps rocking on his chair.

“Let’s have some quiet. Yes, we have a new trainee joining us. It really doesn’t matter why he’s here or where he came from.” Clover nods her head at the front table. “Take a seat. Charlie will show you around today, won’t you?”

“Yes, Master Clover.”

A chair finally. Splendid. I sit down quick next to Charlie. “Hi.” I even remember to give my biggest, hello a pleasure to meet you smile, and get a wad of paper and spare pencil pushed over to me.

Work. Work. Work. Okay.

“Geordie chair on all fours. You’re making me nauseous,” snaps Master Clover before droning into a lecture.

I think this is a history class. Yawners. Charlie and his two friends on this table are hunched over their paper, jotting down every word that comes from Clover’s mouth. Drone drone drone is all I’m hearing. Double yawners. I pick up my pencil figuring I should attempt to write a sentence or two. End up slouching in my chair. Eyes flicker...

... “Corey,” hisses Charlie as he nudges me in the side with an elbow.

“Who Corey?” I mumble.

“Master Clover asked you a question.”

“Question!” The left side of my face is rested on my papers. I sit up properly, double quick, and un-stick myself from paper in the process.

“Do you know what happened in the year two thousand four hundred and fifteen?” asks Clover.

I tilt my head to one side as I have a think. “Lots of things I expect.”

“Something specific,” prompts Clover.

“I don’t think I was born then.”

“Obviously,” sighs Clover. “Have you any grasp on history?”

Lots and lots. “A long time ago the clouds came. None of us were born then. People and trees started going hollow.”

I get funny looks from every angle in the room. Hear Geordie snicker, “blond.”

Trying my best to be myself, which is hard when I don’t even know who me is anymore, I swivel on my chair and flick at my hair. “I know right.”

When I turn back round I replace Clover has dumped a stack of heavy books on top of my papers. A slim blue book is balanced on top of the pile. “Read these. They’ll help you catch up.” More like they’ll help me fall asleep.

Yay class must be over seen as Charlie is loading his papers into his satchel. I grab hold of my books. Heavy. Ooh Charlie and his friends are already out the door. I hurry to catch up with them. Geordie shunts past me with his friend following him. Then two boys and a girl hassle by me sniggering.

“Hurry up, Corey.” Phew Charlie waited outside the door for me. “These are Tanya and Lee.” He gestures at his friends. They nod their hello’s as we take to the passage. “We’ve got weapons practise next.”

“Weapons practise,” I exclaim.

“Afraid so. It’s rather barbaric but necessary,” says Charlie all matter of factly.

“I hope you’re not paired with Geordie again,” says Tanya.

“Me too but probably will be seen as he can’t keep his cool round Max.” Charlie turns to me. “I hear you’re rather apt with a dagger.”

I’ve never picked up any form of weapon in my life. “That’s a rumour. I’m not that great with one.”

“I’m sure you’re being modest. Thank goodness. We’ve enough show offs round here.”

“Show offs?”

“You’ll see when we get to the arena.”

Did Charlie say arena? Scary. I really wanna skip weapons training class. Maybe if I tell the teacher I’ve got an owie of a blister I’ll be excused.

We leave the fortress by going out a back way onto a stone path that leads up a huge hill. At the top of the hill is a circle of sand with a long shed on the side lines. We join the class by this shed. I dump my books on the ground where everyone else has cast aside their satchels. Brrr is windy up here. I keep close to Charlie seen as he’s showing me round today. Wish he’d show me to my room so I can sit in peace for an hour or two, to come to terms with where I’ve ended up.

“Good morning,” says a voice which doesn’t sound as though there’s anything good about this morning. A muscular man with long strands of weathered hair strides out the shed with his arms full of practise swords. He notices me straight away; must be because I’m the only one out of uniform. “Who’ve we got here?” He drops the practise swords on the floor.

“Corey, Master Hugo, sir,” I say.

“Our new trainee.” Master Hugo kicks a practise sword over to me. “Any experience in fighting?”

I shake my head.

“Best show you what we’re working towards here then. Geordie, Charlie, centre.”

Charlie stares at Master Hugo in dread. “Please can’t I be paired with someone else today?”

“Centre Charlie.”

“But Danny’s much more suited to Geordie’s abilities so will prove more of a challenge.”

“I’m not trying to challenge Geordie. Besides you can’t have a proper challenge in this field of study with your best friend.”

Stifling a groan Charlie reaches for a practise sword. Geordie gets one and swings away as he makes for the centre of the sand arena. Gives Charlie a smirk as he falls into what must be a defence stance, waiting for Charlie to make the first move, as though giving it him.

Charlie surges forward. Sword aimed at Geordie’s shoulder. He misses, whacking at thin air as Geordie steps aside then spins fast; clobbers Charlie’s back. “Dead.”

Rolling over, Charlie grabs for Geordie’s sword, pulls at it, yanking himself up. Whack, whack, whack. They strike out at each other.

“Boring,” goads Geordie.

“Charlie, restraint. Think about what you’re doing. Randomly striking out won’t work against Thunders,” says Master Hugo.

Doesn’t work against Geordie either. As Charlie tries for the chest, Geordie swipes super quick at Charlie’s leg. Really smacks it, making Charlie give a howl.

As Master Hugo calls time I clap which gains some funny looks. Oops. Ignoring those looks I stare over at Geordie trying to catch his eye. He’s so cool.

“I wouldn’t try being friendly with him,” warns Charlie as he hops over to me rubbing his whacked at leg. “He’s bad news. The only person he’s pleasant with is Danny.”

I wonder why he’s bad news. There’s no time to ask seen as Master Hugo swoops his attention onto me. “Let’s see what you’ve got. Max centre. It’s his first time so don’t go easy on him.”

Surely he meant go easy on me. I pick up the practise sword which was kicked to me earlier. Try holding it the way Geordie was. It’s heavier than I thought. This fight is going to be a disaster. How do you even go about swinging this thing? Right I’ll try anything once.

Max is bigger than me. Most people my age are. I’m small and slim. No muscle on me or horrid fat. At least I hope there’s no fat. Without a word Max swings at me. Startled I jump backwards. He swings again.

“Eeek!” I drop my sword on jumping backwards a second time.

“Pick it up,” calls Master Hugo.

Pick up my sword when Max is taking a swing for me. I don’t think so. My fingers would get smacked red.

“Stand your ground,” yells Master Hugo as I turn and run screaming as Max chases after me still swinging. Everyone laughs at my retreat.

“Eeek!” I end up skidding round Geordie. “Save me!” Geordie pushes me away into his friend Danny. “Help.”

“Urrr no,” musters Danny.

Okay no help here. I cower behind Danny anyway. Max runs round him. I hold up my arm to guard my face. “I’ve gotta blister!”

Rolling his eyes Geordie punches Max right in the nose before the sword makes contact with my arm. Blood gushes. Roaring a battle cry Max launches himself at Geordie.

I try merging into class as Max forces Geordie into the centre of the arena. They’re really going for each other. Mean business. Master Hugo yells at them to cool down. They ignore him. Whack. Whack. Whack. Their fight is my fault. How was I to know they were enemies? I just ran for cover. Geordie’s got Max on the ground. Looks as though he’s geared to stamp on his face.

“Geordie knock it off. He’s not worth it,” calls Danny while Master Hugo makes hand gestures, waving his arms round, demanding them to stand down.

My fault.

I hurry over to the fight. Grasp hold of Geordie’s arm, try to pull him away. “Thank you. This is very kind, but you can stop now.”

“I ain’t doing this for you.”

I get shoved over. On pushing me Geordie’s eyes catch Danny’s. He grumbles, throws his sword at me, hitting me in the head, then stalks into the thick of class.

Max kicks me in the side, “wuss,” he musters on his way to his friendship group.

“Perhaps throwing you in at the deep end was the wrong approach,” musters Master Hugo then says to everyone else, “practise with whoever you like. I’m in no mood for any more drama today.” Master Hugo holds my sword out to me. “You run fast, that’s something to build on.”

The rest of the lesson lasts the longest of time. Master Hugo spends ages with me, trying his best to teach me defence. Nothing goes in. I’m forever falling over myself. I’m aware that the rest of class are snickering at my attempts. Even catch Charlie give a smile when my sword ends up meters across the sand from where I’m stood. I say rest of class, Geordie and Danny make no reactions to my epic failings.

Done being humiliated by Master Hugo I brush sand from my clothes then place my sword on the pile. Go over to Charlie who is collecting his satchel. I tap him on the shoulder to gain his attention.

“Urrh do you want something?”

“What’s next?”

“Lunch then back to room one hundred and one.”

Lunch cool. I’ve not eaten in like a day. I pick up those history books. When I’ve got them, see Charlie’s hurried off down the hill. Ah okay my place is not in Charlie’s friendship circle. I tag along behind everyone else, take my time. Maybe things will look a whole lot brighter after some lunch.

The refectory is full of wooden tables with food scattered on them. Looks like you can sit where you fancy. There must be eighty trainees in here. Eighty trainees. How many graduate to actual Cloud Associates? Less than half will make the cut. Now for a more important question where shall I sit? Charlie, Lee, and Tanya stare at their food pretending not to have noticed me. Max glares at me as though I’ve done something to offend him. Geordie’s not here and rest of our class aren’t paying any attention to me.

I sit at the edge of a table with people I’ve never even seen before. Grab a bowl of chicken soup. Eat slow despite being super hungry. Swirl, swirl, swirl goes my spoon exploring soup. I suppose fitting in isn’t easy wherever you move to. My class will have been together two years already. I’m an imposing imposter.

Imposing imposter me gets to class early. I sit where I sat before, only on the very corner of the table. Fiddle about with the slim blue book titled The Cloud Associate Handbook. Yawners. Push it aside and have a flick through a history book. The text is miniscule. I recognise some of these sentences. My school made me read a copy of this book meaning academically I’m not too far behind everyone else. There’s no way I’m reading this again.

I close the book. Use it as a pillow. Start drifting. Get prodded in the shoulder. “Hurh?”

“Thanks for pulling Geordie off Max earlier.”

“No problem. Is he alright?”

“Geordie yeah. He skips class a lot.” Danny shrugs then saunters to his seat.

I swivel round on my chair. Tilt my head to the side and give my sweetest smile. “Seen as Geordie’s gonna be absent may I sit with you?”

“No.”

“Please. I don’t think Charlie likes me very much.”

“Whatever.”

“Cools!” I run around tables. Bounce onto a seat next to Danny. “I like Geordie. He’s totes cool. Oh, you too. You’re the only ones who didn’t laugh at me in weapons practise.”

“You were pathetic.”

“I know. Being pathetic is what I do.” I wink, making Danny almost laugh.

The rest of class file into the room. Ot-oh Geordie’s with them and I’m in his seat. I get out of his seat quick. Dust it off. “Here. Sorry. I was just talking to Danny. We were worried about you, weren’t we?”

“We were?”

“Yeah ’cause of what happened in weapons practise. I shouldn’t have drawn Max over to you. I wouldn’t have done if I’d known he’d done something to upset you.”

Geordie sits down. Has kept from telling me to do one so I sit next to him. I’m ignored by Geordie throughout the whole geography lesson. When it’s over I ask, “what’s next?”

“Whatever you like. We’ve free time until tomorrow,” Geordie grunts at me as he gets up to leave with Danny. Whatever I like. I tag along behind them. Charlie’s still taking notes. That’s nerdy.

“Why ya following us?” asks Geordie when we get to the reception area.

“Me following you? Oh no you’re mistaken.” I lean into the receptionist’s desk. “I’m asking which room I’m in. Yeah that’s what I’m doing.”

“Room fifteen is vacant,” says the receptionist. “I had your bag taken there.”

I remain leant on the desk for several seconds then re-follow Geordie and Danny towards the front doors.

“You are following us. Quit it.”

“You’re still mistaken. I’m going to get some outside air.” Taking a chance, I wink and stand level with them. “Where’s a good place to hang out? You must know all the hot spots.”

“Charlie’s supposed to be showing you round. Go bother him.”

“But he’s a teacher’s pet. Takes notes all day. Boring.”

“And I’m mental. A real head case so piss off.”

“No, you’re not, silly.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re the nicest person I met today.”

“I shoved you over and threw a sword at your head. What does that tell ya?”

My approach is not working. Time to change tact. I hold out a hand. “How do you do?” Grab his hand. Shake. Shake. Shake. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“You’re crazy. Get off me.” Geordie yanks his hand free then pushes me into Danny or at least tries to. I see him coming and run behind Danny, so he gets pushed instead.

“Careful.” I laugh on steadying Danny. I lean round his shoulder and yelp as Geordie runs right at me. We run around and around Danny. Before he can catch me, I dart over to the pond. Stand on the middle of the bridge. Peering into the water I see this huge red fish with black spots swim by. “Fish! Fish! Fish!” I lean right over the bridge. He must be the alpha fish, yeah because he’s so big. “Geordie! Danny! Fish!” I wave them over and yay they come.

“Fish woo,” Geordie says full of sarcasm. “You’re acting as though you’ve never seen one before.”

“I haven’t at least not an alive one. This is my first full day out of Lundune in years. Woo woo woo fish.”

“Are ya trying to be funny?”

I punch the air and attempt to imitate Geordie’s sarcastic tone. “Fish woo.” Which gets an actual laugh from Danny. “That was me trying to be funny. Did I do good?”

“No, ya sounded nothing like me. We were gonna ask if ya wanted to hang out with us but you’re too weird.”

I tap at the top of the bridge. Watch Alpha Fish swim away into the depths of the murky pond. I over-did myself. Let them see the hyper. Keep tapping wondering why I get so out there. I don’t think I know what normal behaviour is. If I was normal surely someone round here would want to be friends. Anyone. I guess I’m one of those kids who will get picked on wherever they go. Oh well it’s only been a day. Maybe in a few more days someone will decide I’m kind a cool and want to hang out.