Primitive Instinct: The Journey Home
Pain and Fear

Hool’gra’nat was the one that reached us first and his face went pale before he yelled for the healer, and he’s been close since. I didn’t blame him. He did, after all, raise Roar.

I learned something about Mapok anatomy as the healer looked over Roar. The reason why he was so damn heavy was because Roar, like the rest of the clan, had thick bones. The fall from the cliff bruised him some but didn’t injure him too much. The cazza’s claws had cut his leg up pretty badly, but not enough to be a concern for the same older female that had treated my bruises my first night in the clan.

She cleaned his wound and closed it up after setting the broken bone in his leg from the force of the large creature hitting him and assured me that he likely got knocked stupid for a bit and was exhausted, so I shouldn’t worry if he slept for a long time.

Once we were across the ice, camp was made and fires started to cook the meat from the yuulk someone had gone back to get and I was glad to replace everything else in our lanka sled, giving me everything I needed to make a temporary improvement to Diesel’s sled.

I used some hide and wood to make a sling. The poles would be tied to the front of the sled while the leather sling extended off the back to give the extra length needed to keep Roar’s feet from hanging off the end and making his broken leg worse.

“Drink, Fern’rath’fik,” Hool’gra’nat said when I finished with the sled. “And eat. You will need strength soon enough.”

“I don’t think I can eat right now,” I looked at the offered vegetable and bit of meat as my stomach roiled. “When he wakes up, maybe, but he worries me.”

“Me, too,” he sighed and placed the cup of steaming tea in my hand anyhow before sitting on the snow with me near the small fire. “He’s had many injuries, but none like this.”

“That... thing... It was huge,” I whispered.

“Cazza? Yes, they are. Very dangerous. Even the fiercest hunter in all of this,” he held his paws out wide, “Avoid them at all costs. The kit is foolish, to taunt one so. But he did so for an honorable reason, and no one can claim he is anything less than honorable in all things.”

“You taught him well,” I nodded, and he grunted vaguely. “He has great respect for you, and I feel the same. You helped guide him as he grew into who he is now. He took me in, helped me, taught me. He almost died because of me.”

“Gah,” he waved his paw dismissively. “True as it is, he wouldn’t say it that way. He could have died today, but he will never say it so there is blame to be had. He wanted to protect his family. He wasn’t able to the last time he saw one of those beasts.”

“Do you think he’ll wake up?” I asked after bit of silence.

“Of course. He’s too stubborn not to,” he laughed, the sound cracking slightly, like he had something wrong with his chest or lungs. I tilted my head and he shrugged. “The lanka might be passive now, but when the weather warms and it’s time for them to mate, they are not passive. I got too close and got kicked when I wasn’t much older than Roar’kaol’tok is now. I didn’t heal right, and I can’t do much to help the clan now. I tried to hunt with the others, once. Now, I can't see on one side. So, I care for the beasts.”

“My father’s brother raised me after my parents died,” I said staring at the poop fueled fire. “He was a warrior. He got hurt badly. His head. He wasn’t the same after it happened, and he had days where it really messed with him and made him confused. But he still tried his best to take care of me. He taught me a lot of what I knew before I came to the Mapok. I never truly appreciated it, though until now. Funny, how you never think of telling the people that mean the most to you how much you care about them until after they’re gone.”

“His body is gone, Fern’rath’fik,” Hool’gra’nat said, then spread his paws out. “But who he was, is in this. And in this.”

He put his paw on his chest before getting up and going to his sled to take his tent out and set it up across the fire from the one I had put up and dragged Roar into as soon as the healer left. Once the old male disappeared in his tent, I sighed and looked down at Diesel, who was laying at my side.

“Scary day, Dies,” I said, reaching over to pet his head before kicking snow over the flames to douse them. “Let’s go to bed.”

Once we were in the teeny tent, I laid there with Diesel on my feet, staring at the darkness. I was exhausted, but every sound sounded like a cazza roar to me and I couldn’t sleep. So, I laid there for the whole sleep cycle, so tired, yet too scared to close my eyes and give in.

When I heard Hool’gra’nat moving around, I got up and let Diesel out to potty. Once both of our bladders were tended to, I grabbed some food from our stores on the sled before grabbing a chunk of snow and eating it.

“You will not be able to walk the lanka,” Hool’gra’nat said from his sled. “They will see you as a child and will not listen to you. They’ll stay tied to my sled until we reach the snow camp. But there is no room for Roar’kaol’tok to ride without being hurt more.”

“Diesel will take him. I made something to make the sled longer for his body to fit without getting hurt,” I gestured to the addition.

“I thought you were brain-broken when you asked for those antlers,” he chuckled, shaking his head at my sled. “But it is very clever for small sleds. I will make some for the rest of the Mapok to try.”

“Roar’kaol’tok already offered many. No one wants anything to do with me,” I said before the horn blast signaled for us to pack our sleds back up and get ready to move on.

“I will help you with him,” Hool’gra’nat said when I went to pull the hunter from the tent.

Once he was on the sled, I grabbed one of the blankets and laid it over him, making the older man chuckle as he put away his tent.

“You fuss like isha,” he said before someone came to talk to him about something to do with a foot.

I broke our tent down and got it stored before getting Diesel into his harness and in his place in the front of the sled, giving his ruff a good scratching that made his foot thump before he shook himself and licked my cheek.

“Keep our hunter close, Dies,” I told him. “I want to know when he wakes up.”

I walked right beside the sled as we continued our journey and often caught Hool’gra’nat smirking and shaking his head, which I ignored. Roar might not be injured enough to threaten his life, but I don’t think it mattered how thick your bones were if you landed on your head and scrambled your brain. As far as we knew, he’d wake up, but what if he didn’t? I was able to talk to people and trade, but I was unfamiliar with the creatures here and after the encounter with the cazza, I wasn’t willing to just go waltzing about and think I was safe.

T-rex polar bears!? Whatever those crackpot science bozos where smoking, they needed to stop. Toying with genetics was bad enough, but there is literally an entire franchise of movies about why it’s a terrible idea to fuck around with dinosaurs and replace out why they were the top of the food chain before they went extinct.

I hung over the side of our lanka sled as I dug around for food for lunch when Diesel woofed and I gasped, dropping down and rushing over to replace Roar blinking slowly and looking kind of dazed still.

“Fern?” he whispered.

“You have to be the biggest idiot I’ve ever met in my life, Roar’kaol’tok,” I scolded him and hopped onto the side of the sled to stand on one leg beside him, which made Diesel have to jog to keep up with the lanka.

“We’re safe,” he sighed and closed his eyes, a small smile on his stupid face.

“Yes, but the next time you think about doing something stupid like that, I’m going to put your ears on my hat as another warning not to be dumb,” I scolded him and he chuckled, grimacing slightly in pain. “Your leg got clawed pretty good.”

“It will heal,” he sighed.

“It’s broken,” I told him, and his eyes opened wide as I saw him reach down under the blanket to feel the splint the healer had put on it.

“We are not going to live well this snow cycle,” he said sadly.

“I can hunt, still. Not as well as you and not every day, because I can’t see like you, but we’ll be okay,” I told him. “I’ve been told I’m clever.”

“This should be interesting,” he smirked, then frowned. “I don’t like to feel useless.”

“Do the trading,” I shrugged. “None of the Mapok want to deal with me much anyhow. It’ll be better if you do it.”

“I’m a hunter, Fern’rath’fik,” he said flatly. “I move. I move a lot. Sitting and trading is not for me.”

“Well, it’s going to be for a while until your leg heals and the healer says you can move again,” I narrowed my eyes at him, and he pushed up to his elbows and looked around before huffing and laying back again.

“Stubborn female.”

“Stubborn male,” I shot back and hopped off the side of the sled.

“Will you feed me, or will I have to ask Diesel’vor’maan?” he huffed, and I snorted.

“That had to hurt,” I teased him, and he glared at me as I hopped over the side of the lanka sled to get him something to eat and felt a clump of snow hit me in the butt. “Very mature.”