Primitive Instinct: The Journey Home
Thoughts

I slept well and woke when there was a call from outside from the chief. Roar glowered as he went to answer and let the chief inside.

“I have come to a decision for your mate,” he said, addressing Roar.

“As have I,” Roar nodded and I looked at him, shocked by his change of stance on the topic.

“Have you informed the female?” the chief asked after a second to get over his own shock.

“Not yet. I planned to when I am fit to make an offer,” he replied. “I was not expecting you to have arranged a match so quickly.”

“Well, her clan’s chief has not been informed of my decision yet, so I will allow you more time to heal and make your offer to the female you’ve chosen,” the chief said. “If she refuses, I will inform the chief of the female I have chosen.”

“Is that all? We are making a trip to Hool’gra’nat today and wish to do so before he becomes too busy,” Roar asked.

“That is all for the time being,” he nodded and looked at me briefly before leaving and I got out of bed with a yawn.

“You have nothing to say?” Roar asked with a strange look when I poured a cup of tea for myself.

“I’m curious what’s changed your mind, but it’s not for me to know. I just want you to be happy and if you’ve chosen a mate, something about her appeals to you,” I told him. “Do you think she’ll agree with you wanting to go to another clan?”

“I hope so,” he nodded.

“I’ll need to make myself a tent. I don’t think she’d be keen on sharing hers with me, family or not,” I made a face and got up to put my boots and snowshoes on. “I should go check the traps before we leave.”

“Fern,” Roar said as I flipped the tent flap open.

“I’m glad for you,” I smiled over my shoulder at him and stepped outside and whistled for Diesel.

When we got to Hool’gra’nat’s tent, I braced my foot on the sled as Roar got up and then called out for the old man to meet us. Coughing and hacking met my ears, and I frowned as I looked at Roar, who also looked concerned.

“Fern’rath’fik,” Hool’gra’nat nodded, and Roar chuckled and shook his head at being ignored.

“I have news for you,” I grinned and bounced on my toes with excitement.

“She’s been like this since last night, so please let her speak,” Roar complained good-naturedly.

The older man chuckled and motioned for us to come in and Diesel laid down for a nap in the snow.

“Speak before it makes you burst,” he said, coughing harshly.

“We met a Quasim at the hot pools and I went yesterday to their clan to trade. They are interested in trying a sled like mine,” I told him. “They asked for twelve, if you are willing.”

“The Quasim, eh?” he said hoarsely. “Clever ones. And efficient when gathering. What was offered?”

“They are open to talks on that,” I told him.

“I will look at yours some before deciding,” he nodded. “You can take them with you the next time you go for trading.”

“And it would be best if the clan didn’t know about Fern’rath’fik’s trading with the Quasim.”

“Made up your mind, eh?” the older man chuckled, and the sound cracked and broke into another fit of coughing.

“What is that sound in your chest?” I asked him.

“It happens every year,” he waved his paw.

“Not like this,” Roar said. “Don’t hold your pride until it kills you.”

“This year, it feels like it’s taking more of me than before,” he admitted after he glared at Roar for a second.

“I’ve heard it before. In my own people, though not as badly,” I said. “It can kill you if it’s not treated.”

“There’s nothing to treat it with,” he shrugged.

“There is,” I said, firmly. “I know there is. I just need to remember how...”

“We can’t stay much longer. Think on the way,” Roar’kaol’tok said putting his paw on my back.

I huffed, annoyed with my memory, and followed him and Hool’gra’nat outside so the older male could look at my sled. He lifted an eyebrow at the overnight tent but said nothing before he nodded and scratched his beard.

“I will see what I can do,” he nodded. “If I can make them lightweight like this, I will consider the offer.”

I slapped his paw and frowned when he coughed again before going inside.

“I don’t like that,” I said as Roar sat on the sled and Diesel shook the snow from his fur.

“It is sounding worse this year and it usually happens after the first storm, which we’ve yet to have,” he replied. “But there’s nothing to be done right now.”

“I just need to remember,” I growled at myself and started walking when Diesel pulled the sled along.

“It will come to you,” Roar said confidently.

“Sooner than later, hopefully,” I muttered.

I kept trying to remember what it was that Rudy said would treat pneumonia, but it was like that part of my memory wouldn’t come to me. I knew that I had known it. I remember learning it and being drilled in random quizzes on it when I was younger, but my recall had obviously dwindled since then.

Roar had a piece of wood that he was using his claw to carve, and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was making. I’d seen some shavings on the floor of the tent, but nothing he had made. I wouldn’t ask, either, because if it kept him occupied and not complaining about being bored, I was fine with whatever the heck he did.

I just wish that he had told me he was planning on mating sooner so I could have maybe traded for things I would need for a tent of my own, since the one I had brought I had tossed into the fire ages ago once I learned that the ice on the rivers never truly melted, even at the sun camp. It was far too cold here for that tent to be useful and it was taking up space in my pack anyhow.

“You are troubled again,” he said after a while. “You’ll think of how to treat Hool’gra’nat. It might come to you better if you didn’t try so hard.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to take a mate sooner?” I asked him.

“It’s still many weeks before I am even capable of walking on my own. I will not offer myself to a female when I can’t provide anything but hardship. I must also prepare for my gifting,” he said.

“Gifting? Like what?” I asked.

“Things that I think she might replace pleasing,” he answered. “To prove that I think of her happiness.”

“Okay, that’s adorable and really sweet,” I said after a second and he chuckled. “But you should have told me sooner. I would have set more traps so I would have stores for the trip back to the sun camp as well.”

“You will not need to worry of such things,” he said. “The females who chose their mate during the snow cycle will not pair with their males until we return to the sun camp. They remain with their family, as do the young males. It is part of the mating that the material for the tent be hunted before they are paired. The creature whose hide makes our tent is only seen briefly near the sun camp. Unless there is no family to speak of.”

“Do you really need to hunt that, though? You have a tent,” I asked.

“One fit for a male with no female beside him. You fit with me because you are small, but it is not so easily shared when there are two of my kind,” he chuckled. “A bigger tent must be made.”

“Right,” I said slowly. “I actually kind of forget how different we are sometimes.”

“Not that different,” he shrugged.

“Huh,” I said after a bit. “I didn’t really think about it before because I’ve been busy, but...”

“What is it?” he asked me when I didn’t finish talking.

“It’s nothing,” I waved my hand and he stared at me for a bit before going back to his carving. “Why did you change your mind?”

“About mating?” he asked, and I nodded. “You. You said that if I had no choice on being mated, I should choose who I was mated to. I have chosen. I would have chosen the same, even if the chief had not forced the issue. It just would have taken longer for me to think this way.”

“Are you nervous?” I asked him and he looked at the rough carving in his hands.

“Very,” he answered after a long silence. “I’m not even sure she’s noticed me in this way.”

“You don’t really make yourself available, Roar’kaol’tok,” I looked at him flatly. “When you aren’t hunting, what do you do?”

“I sleep,” he answered, and I threw my hands up in the air when he looked confused.

“There are other things than hunting, you know,” I said.

“I’m aware,” he rolled his eyes. “I don’t usually have this much free time, so I’ve been forced to explore these other things. I’m not a huge fan of many.”

“Well, I’m family now, so you’ll have free time. I’ve gotten pretty decent at hunting and it’s not like I’m going to ha-,” I said then stopped myself and shook my head. “I might need to change my trap line when we get back. I didn’t catch as many as I normally do this morning.”

“What is it that you say about me changing the subject like that?” he lifted a brow at me.

“Subtle like a rock to the face,” I said.

“You are worse than I am,” he stated and went back to his carving.