Promises Forgotten
Chapter 19

Leaning over, he put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath through his laughter. “Maldita chica, te llevaré a donde quieras ir.” [Damn girl, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.]

I felt strong hands on my shoulders and Zach pulled me back. The smirk he was wearing earlier, gone. Clear irritation was written all over his face. The chef straightened up and looked at him for a moment before chuckling.

“A couple specials, coming up! I can’t make a beautiful woman pay, though. It’s on the house.”

He turned and walked into the small space. Making quick work, he moved nimbly around the kitchen. It’s surprising between the size of the space and the size of him, but he whipped up two orders of tacos and came back over, handing them to us. Zach reached over me and grabbed the two containers from him.

“Oh shit! Let me get…” He turned in to the truck and opened a mini fridge in the corner. “Mamá just made a new batch today.”

Pouring out two drinks, I took them from him and smiled. “Gracias, guapo. Te debo una.” [Thanks, handsome. I owe you one.] I winked, but Zach cleared his throat.

“You owe him nothing. Follow me and quit f*****g flirting.”

I bit my l*p to keep me from smiling and the chef chuckled, winking at me as well. As we walked by the front, I stopped and weaseled my way through the crowd. Moving the drink to hold it in between my stomach and my right arm, I fished out my wallet from my pocket. Stuffing a twenty into the tip jar, I smiled at the workers and turned back to Zach, who was waiting just outside the ring of people waiting for their food.

Weaving my way through, I popped out and smiled at him. He was already headed to some tables set up on the far end of the dance floor and band area. Setting down the food, he reached out and grabbed the drinks from me, setting them down as well. Taking a seat, he seemed a little shocked when I took a seat next to him. I chuckled.

“What? I want to watch them dance. Now hand over the f*****g tacos, I’m starving. I haven’t had shit to eat today.”

He slid over one of the containers with two tacos overflowing with meat and onions. I reached over him to grab one of the other drinks and he watched me.

“Sorry. Habit.” I smiled, but I didn’t want to say it was a habit when we were together. He didn’t need to know that. “When did you learn Spanish?”

“I needed to learn a few languages for business.” Zach chuckled absent-mindedly. “I learned Spanish first but I have yet to use it for work. I don’t know why I wanted to learn it first but I did.”

I started at the taco in front of me, closing and opening my bionic hand. A small smile crept onto my face.

“How do you do that?”

I blinked at him, confused for a moment. “Do what?”

“Close it. Move it.”

“Oh!” I chuckled and took a sip of the drink. Moaning, I closed my eyes. It was the best damn horchata I had ever had. “Damn. Mamá knows how to make it. I wonder if I marry her son if she will give me the recipe. I could bottle this and make a f*****g fortune.”

Zach chuckled and took a sip of his as well.

“As for movement in my arm, there is a sensor right here.” I tap my right shoulder, just under my bone. “It takes into account my different muscle movements that would be in my shoulder and translates them into minimal functions that I have with the arm. It took some getting used to, but now, as long as the weather is good, I don’t really have any issues.”

To demonstrate, I reached out and grabbed the taco, lifting it normally and taking a bite. I m****d again and rolled my eyes. “F**k, these are good tacos.”

“What happens when the weather is bad?” Zach was eyeing me, but he was also taking bites of his taco.

“It locks up. Sometimes I have to go in for repairs, which sucks. I can do most things one handed. I only got this bad boy about a year and a half ago. Long f*****g wait list. It was a pain, but it happens. Don’t get me started on airport security. Christ, I think it would be easier smuggling in an AK-47 than this damn arm.”

I rolled my eyes. “One time…” I took a sip of my drink. “…they made me f*****g take the whole damn thing apart. I’m talking un-screwing panels so they could see that nothing was inside. I nearly threw in the towel there. Mike was pissed. I thought they were going to escort him out of the airport.”

Remembering how he berated the airport security for being assholes and inconsiderate dolts for someone who was handicapped made me laugh. Leaning down, I took another bite of taco. Looking over Z, he was staring at the taco in his hand. His eyes, though, were looking into the ether. Nowhere near the taco in front of him.

“Stop blaming yourself.”

His eyes widened and he looked over at me. I smiled at him.

“I can see it. It’s written all over your face. I don’t blame you. Not for this.” I touched the metal plate that now is my forearm. “I blame the f*****g Mafia, but I already got my revenge on them.” I smiled and chuckled. “I blame your father probably the most. The man deserves to…” I shut my mouth before I said anything else. I took a deep breath. “…anyways. I never blamed you, though. You would have died. My arm was worth the sacrifice if it meant you got to live.”

I smiled at him again, not expecting to see the wet streaks on his cheeks. He wasn’t looking at me, at the table below instead. Shocked, I reached out with my left hand and wiped his tears away from the cheek. Slowly, Zach turned his head to me.

“You would have never been in that position if it weren’t for me. If we hadn’t gone. If I wasn’t who I was. If…”

Shaking my head, I grabbed my drink and took a sip. “I hear a lot of ‘ifs’ and I hate it. If I had been this, if I had done that. Ifs are things that root you in the past. Ifs are things you can’t change. It’s stupid to talk about them. I don’t regret it. Any of it, Z. I know you don’t remember it, so honestly there isn’t anything to regret or to miss, which is good. I will tell you it’s not easy to function with it. But I will never regret it. This…” I touched my arm again. “…or this.” With my left hand I took off my necklace and placed it on the table between us.

Both our rings that I had been carrying, never once taking them off the moment I received them from the hospital in Greece. When his parents had flown him back, they left literally everything he had behind. That included all the things we had accumulated and his wedding band that the hospital took off for safe keeping when they scanned his head, neck and back.

I watched his hand reach out and touch the rings. He ran his fingers over my father’s band before taking it between his two fingers and lifting it up.

“I feel so incomplete and it’s frustrating.”

I smiled sadly and went back to eating my taco. I was dealing with my own sadness. Dealing with my own emotions of deep unending sadness and loneliness. Betrayal and pain. Utter pain that rattled my soul. But I couldn’t fathom the completely different emotions that were going through Zach right now. I assumed he had gone through the photos ,with how he looked at me and at our rings. The confusion and feeling of just being lost must be immense. Helping him, though, was beyond my scope. Part of me didn’t know if I could even help myself.

We sat in silence for the time that we ate. I watched with a smile on my face as the people danced to the band. It had to be at least 3:30 a.m., but people still buzzed around, and it was still a continuous stream of people. The Latin flair band was incredible, and I watched as people Tangoed and Salsaed their way around the dance floor. I leaned forward and rested my head on my arms as I watched. Z’s hand touched my back and at first I flinched, but his hand didn’t move. He started to rub my back and I relaxed a little, watching the dancers.

“I’m sorry, Evie.”

My head tilted and I looked up at him. His blue eyes stared back at me with an intensity that could drown me in their depths.

“So am I.” I turned back and looked at the dancers, but tears blurred my vision. “So am I.” I repeated softly.

The lights hanging above blurred in my vision and I felt the drops fall down my cheeks. They made a hollow sound as they hit the metal plate of my arm.

“F**k, Evie. I’m so sorry. How…how can I…”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You can’t, Z. You, who you are now, can’t. I’ve accepted it. I’ll deal with it.”

Ting Ting. Two more drops fall onto my arm.

“Somehow. I’ll figure it out.” I tried to smile, but I couldn’t. “It helps at least I know only one of us is in this much pain, though.” My shoulders shook and I hoped he took it as me laughing. Burying my face in my arm, I closed my eyes and let the tears fall.

“Let me help. Let me do something…please…”

I shook my head. “Lo único que puedes hacer por mí es dejarme ir.” [The only thing you can do for me is to let me go.]

His hand froze on my back, and I could feel it clench slightly. “No sé si puedo prometer eso.” [I don’t know if I can promise that.]

Smiling and chuckling this time, I lifted my head up and looked back at the dancers twirling to the music.

“No cumples las promesas de todos modos.” [You don’t keep promises anyways.]