Promises Forgotten
Chapter 40

“I can’t believe you guys!”

My phone was in my one hand as I stomped around the cafe. Ron had come by and taken Elliot out today. He was ecstatic that his grandpa was in town. It drove the stake further that I really did need more of a male presence in his life. We had closed up for the day to get ready for the Open Mic Night we held every other week. I was cleaning off the counter when Jacob called and I was still pissed they had called Ron out.

“We needed to pull out the big guns. You won’t listen to us.”

“Because there isn’t anything to listen to! I’ve told you, over and over. I’m okay!”

There was silence over the phone for a moment. “Ev, you know that’s not true.”

“It doesn’t f*****g matter if it’s true or not! I have to be okay! You think that for a second Elliot wouldn’t be affected? You think I have the time or the luxury to not be okay? You guys don’t f*****g have kids. You don’t understand!” My voice was raised as I leaned against the counter, my back to the register.

“Ev…we just are worried.”

“And while I appreciate it, I’m tired of every time I see you or talk to you, you ask me if I’m okay. My answer won’t change. Ron won’t f*****g change my answer. I’m not f*****g okay, but it doesn’t f*****g matter! So stop asking. Stop trying to get me to say I’m not okay. It’s useless. It’s…”

The little bell we have above the door chimed and I narrowed my eyes. Usually people read the sign and didn’t just come in. I felt eyes on me, and I turned around to the door. My eyes fell on the man, wearing a suit jacket, button up white shirt and slacks. The phone in my hand slipped and hit the floor. He stared back at me with deep blue eyes. Tears started to well up in my eyes. Whereas before when I looked in his eyes, I saw nothing but confusion and an emptiness without a single ounce of recognition. Now, I could see it. I saw the look I longed to see for three years. The love I longed for, but also pain and suffering.

“Mike?”

“Yeah?” He called from the back of the cafe.

I was having trouble breathing. “Can you…take a hike until we open back up for the evening?”

“Did you just f*****g tell me to take a hi…oh…” I heard Mike walk from the back to where I was. “Oh hell no. I’m not leaving you alone with this fucker.”

I snapped at him. “Mike!“

He snapped back. “What?”

“Take a f*****g hike. Now. Please.” The last word came out as a whisper.

I heard him inhale and then let out an obnoxiously loud exhale. My eyes didn’t leave the man standing at the door, though. He hadn’t moved, either.

“Fine. Fine.”

I heard his apron slam on the counter. I waited until I heard the back door slam shut. The sound made me flinch. Finally alone, I was able to take Zach in fully. He was thinner than when I last saw him in New York, with a five o’clock shadow gracing his face. His hair was long and brushed back, most likely with just his fingers. My hand had started to shake and I made a fist to stop it.

“Did…did you just get off the plane?” I winced at how stupid my voice sounded.

“Yes.” His voice made me flinch harder than Mike slamming the door.

“Are…are you hungry?”

Something akin to amusement crossed his face. I watched as his fingers flex and curl. He broke our stare, gazing at the stairs going up to the second floor.

“He’s…Elliot isn’t here. He’s with Ron right now. They went out for the day. Um…he’ll be back soon since he has school tomorrow. It’s his bedtime. Elliot, I mean.”

Zach nodded and looked back at me. “Food sounds good.”

Taking a deep breath, I tried to drop into service mode. Reaching down, I grabbed my phone. The call had ended, and they had tried to call back, but I just shoved the phone in my pocket.

“You can…come back. I’ll make you something.”

I didn’t wait for him as I walked into the kitchen part of the cafe. Grabbing a roll from the pan, I placed it on the counter before going into the fridge.

“There should be some stools in the closet that the white board is attached to, if you want to grab one. Though, you’re probably tired of sitting. New York to LA is a long flight. Private jet or not.”

“I didn’t take the jet.”

My head peaked out from the fridge to look at him. He was meandering around the kitchen looking at the different equipment.

“Zachary Anderson, flying commercial? What has the world come to?”

He chuckled and leaned against one of the counters. I placed different meats and cheeses on the table. Taking out a cutting board, I sliced the fresh roll in half and started to build a sandwich for him.

“I…” my eyes narrowed, trying to figure out what to say. “I never received the papers.”

“Because I never signed them.”

My hand froze and my eyes met his. He was watching me, and I felt a wave of goosebumps descend down my spine.

“Why?”

A sad smile fell onto his face. “I ran away. Went to France and stayed for a month. We were opening a new branch there. I helped sort out the details. I didn’t realize I hadn’t been the first to sign them. I had, actually, but you made a last minute change and I hadn’t had a chance to see it.”

I nodded. “You got back, though.”

“Got back and they were still on my desk at work.”

My heart was hammering in my chest. The thought that I was still married was both painful and a relief. His eyes told me he remembered. He knew. Tears welled up again, but this time they spilled over and down my cheeks.

“How…when…?”

“After I left France, I met with a doctor in Oxford who specializes in hypnotherapy, specifically with memory loss. He was recommended to me.”

I looked down at the finished sandwich, my tears splashing against the board. “How much of it…?”

“All of it, Evie. I remember all of it.”

My hand flew to my mouth, and I started to sob. My eyes shut tight, and I backed up, my butt hitting the sink behind me and knocking over some dishes in it. Arms wrapped around me and held me together as I shook.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry.”

My head fell to his shoulder and I felt his chin on my head. Zach held me tight as I lost all control. He held me up as my knees gave out and I felt myself start to fall.

“I’ve got you. It’s okay. Let it go.”

My hand clutched his shirt tightly. My sobs turning to wheezes as I struggled to breathe. I felt lips pressed to the top of my head and I realized my head was wet as well. Leaning back, I looked up at Zach, who was in tears as well. He looked like he was barely holding it together. Trying to take a deep breath, the inhaled air just kept getting caught halfway. I was stuck trying to take small gasping breaths.

“Breathe, Evie.”

I did as I was told. My heart hammered and I knew this was a panic attack. I tried to tell him that my medication was upstairs, but the words wouldn’t come out. They were just stuck behind the lump in my throat. His hand came up and put my head back against his chest, his hand covering my exposed ear.

“Listen to my heart. Listen to the rhythm. Close your eyes. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

It was as though Zach had complete control. My eyes slid shut and suddenly his heart was all I could hear. It hammered in his chest, impossibly loud. If anything, it was beating faster than it should. The sound calmed the panic attack, relinquishing its hold on my lungs. I was able to take deeper, calculated breaths.

“I…I’m okay.”

His hand moved away from my ear and I was able to lift my head up. He looked me over, worriedly.

“Sorry. My medication is upstairs.” I mumbled, looking down, unable to meet his gaze.

“For the panic attacks?”

I nodded.

“When did you start getting them? Did you need to go up?”

Swallowing, I shook my head slowly. “I’m supposed to take them when I feel it come on. It would be useless now.” Taking a deep breath, I chanced a look, but he was still staring down at me with an intense gaze. “About a year and a half ago.”

His hands fell and he tested to see if I could stand on my own. My hand gripped the edge of the sink, and I was able to lean against it, making it look like I had more control than I really did. Zach stepped back and looked me over.

“I’m sorry. I just…”

I flashed a quick smile at him. “Thanks.”

“Don’t f*****g thank me, Evie. I keep waiting for you to cuss me out. To yell at me. Throw punches at me. Anything. You can. Please. Anything.”

My mouth struggled to hold back the smile. I shook my head, though. “I can’t. I couldn’t in New York and I can’t do it here.”

“Evie, after what I did to you…please…”

“You didn’t know.”

“It doesn’t f*****g matter! You were all alone! I left you alone. After all our promises, our plans. After all of it, I left you alone.” His voice was choked up.

Taking a breath, I met his eyes. “I forgave you already, Z. I forgave you before I came back from Greece.”

He shook his head. “No. You can’t. You didn’t know. Evie…”

I gave him a sad smile. “You don’t get to dictate when I forgive you. You were forgiven years ago.”

His legs gave out and before I could reach out, he fell to his knees. I reached out, going on my knees as well.

“I came here selfishly. I don’t know what I was expecting. It wasn’t this, though.”

“Me making you a sandwich and having a panic attack?”

He laughed breathily. “You being you.”

My hand touched his cheek, and I lifted his head. “I love you, Z. I always will. You own my heart and my soul. You always have.”

“But?”

“But I’ve been on my own for three years. Suffering for three years. Raising Elliot for three years. I’m still me but at the same time, I’ve changed.”

“I can’t say I haven’t changed as well.”

Smiling, I brushed his cheek with my thumb. “God, I f*****g love you. The day I came and looked you in the eyes and you didn’t recognize me…broke me.”

“I know.” He closed his eyes and pressed into my hand. “I heard you. I heard your cry. I heard your pain. Even without my memories it was heartbreaking. Now, it haunts me.”

“I’m sorry.”

His eyes snapped to mine. “You don’t say sorry. You did nothing. This is all me. Me and my f*****g father.”

My eyes narrowed. “Z, he knew. He knew about us. I thought you knew from him, but you never reached out. I thought…”

“What do you mean he knew? Knew about you and Elliot? That we were married?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know if he knew we were…are married. But he knew at least about Elliot and I.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

My eyes widened. “You weren’t talking about that…”

“No. What the f**k happened?”