P.S. I’m Still Yours: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance (Silver Springs)
P.S. I’m Still Yours: Chapter 19

Kane drops me onto his bed a beat later, luring a small gasp from my lips when my back hits the mattress with a thud.

I grip the blanket as if to brace myself for whatever he has planned. My chest is rising with erratic pants, and I look up at him, waiting for his next move.

I expected him to pick up right where we left off, but he doesn’t move, standing perfectly still at the end of the bed, dark strands of hair falling in front of his hungry eyes as he drinks in my naked body.

My heart is pounding furiously in my chest, the crushing tension in the air anchoring me into place. I still haven’t recovered from the insane orgasm he gave me in the sunroom, but when he lowers his gaze to the sweet spot between my legs, my thighs clench.

For the love of God, I just came.

How can I still be this desperate for his touch?

“Didn’t have enough, did we?” His raspy voice is like liquid heat dripping down my body.

The cunning, sexy smirk on his face tells me I’ve already given myself away, but my pride butts in. “I… I don’t know what you mean.”

His eyes rake over my naked figure once more. “I think you do.”

I feel so damn vulnerable like this, with him fully dressed while I’m naked.

“Spread those legs for me,” he instructs, still unmoving.

He’s not serious.

He wants to make me come again?

“What?”

A low growl rumbles in his throat. “Spread your fucking legs, Hadley.”

“But I—”

He’s climbing on top of me before I can conclude my sentence, parting my thighs as far and wide as he can. I’m still ridiculously turned on, and satisfaction tears through his eyes when he zeroes in on my pussy.

He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, guiding two fingers near my entrance. He doesn’t push them in all the way, driving his fingers just deep enough to coat the tips with my arousal.

I know my body’s betrayed me from the way his eyes flare. “Legs over your head.”

My skin is on fire. “I’m way too sensitive. I can’t do this again.”

He slowly pulls his fingers out of me. “You can. And you will.”

I can’t breathe, my body shuddering with need.

“Hadley, legs over your head. Now,” he repeats with such authority that I feel compelled to obey, pulling my legs back so that they frame my face and fall on each side of my head.

I’ve never been more exposed in my life. Not only does Kane have an extremely clear shot of my pussy like this, but he also has a front-seat view of my ass, and judging from the low groan he expels, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

The next thing I know, he’s dipping two fingers between my lips.

“Has anyone ever played with your ass?”

“No.” My body aches from all the stretching this position requires. I should start doing yoga or something.

“I went easy on you before. If it gets to be too much, you need to tell me.”

Wait.

He went easy on me before?

Were we in the same room?

“Hadley?” he presses when I don’t answer.

What did I just get myself into?

“Okay.”

“Good girl.”

Those are the last words he says before sliding two fingers deep inside my pussy. I bite back a moan when he starts curling in and out of me.

“Breathe,” he commands.

Then he leans in to graze my clit with his teeth.

The sensation is almost painful due to how raw and sensitive my last orgasm made me, but it isn’t long before the pain switches places. Kane’s previous request makes more sense the second he squeezes a third finger inside me.

I can’t stop myself from crying out.

I feel so full like this. Like there isn’t an inch of space left for him to claim.

“Fuck, quiet, baby,” he rasps and laps at my pussy one, two times, until he’s fully eating me out, dragging his mouth up and down my clit with rapid strokes of his tongue.

I can’t seem to adjust to his fingers, shifting and fighting the discomfort the invasion created.

“Kane,” I half moan, half whine, and he drags his teeth along my clit again, capturing it between his lips and releasing it.

“You’re doing so fucking good, Hads.”

Somehow, his words soothe me.

“Can you loosen up for me?” he asks, and I inhale a sharp breath, pouring all of my focus into relaxing. Kane stretches me deeper, the curling of his fingers increasing in speed as I close my eyes.

It’s like a switch.

As though all I needed was to completely surrender myself to him for the pleasure to overpower the pain.

My mouth falls open, a quiet moan escaping it, and Kane’s mouth clamps down on my clit again. “That’s it, take it all in.”

He doesn’t stop the way he did in the sunroom. He doesn’t give me multiple chances to back out like before, devouring me without a sliver of restraint.

His right hand flies out to grip the back of my thigh, and he presses down, stretching me even wider, but I barely feel the sting.

This whole situation seems surreal.

I’m naked in Kane’s bed, lying on my back with my ass in the air and my legs sprawled over my head.

I should be horrified that I went from hating him to letting him bury his face between my thighs two times in a single night, but all I can feel is pure bliss, each stroke of his tongue a reminder of the ecstasy that tore through me just minutes ago.

I didn’t think I could come again so soon.

Hell, I didn’t think my body could handle round two, but before I can even attempt to conceptualize it, a second orgasm—this one stronger than any I’ve ever had—gathers momentum in my stomach.

I can hear how wet I am as Kane’s fingers repeatedly hit my G-spot from the inside.

“I need you to trust me, Hads.”

My eyes fly open from the moment his hand abandons my thigh.

I open my mouth to ask him what he’s going to do, but he cuts me off by circling my asshole with his fingers.

“Trust me,” he repeats, placing slow kisses on my inner thigh.

I feel myself shaking as soon as he pushes half of his index finger into my ass. It hurts, but in a good way, and I want to protest, but the next thing I know, his tongue is right back on my pulsating clit, and I’m coming on his face so hard my hips buck.

I’m convulsing, my thighs coated in my juices, and Kane responds by curling his fingers harder and suctioning my clit between his lips a final time.

Another cry tries to break free, but I keep my mouth shut, forbidding its escape.

My journey back down to Earth is a more violent one than I expected. Fear gushes through my veins faster than my orgasm faded to black, and my eyes fly wide open.

“You’re out of this fucking world, Hadley.”

I asked myself what I’d gotten myself into before, and I’m starting to think the answer is more than I bargained for.

A surge of emotions swarms through my chest as Kane reaches for my thighs and lowers my legs. He lies on his back, catching my hand in his and leading me onto his chest. A sharp breath escapes me when his arms close around my body and squeeze.

The sweet, unexpected gesture tugs at my heartstrings, and I shiver against him. He takes notice immediately and pulls away, just long enough to guide the blanket on his bed over the two of us.

The weighted blanket is comforting, but nothing compares to the relief that fills me when he sits up and takes off his shirt before lying back down.

I barely realize how quickly I cuddle up to him, my body chasing the warmth of his skin.

I rest my head against the guitar tattoo on his shoulder, but he drops his hand to my lower back and presses on my tailbone to lure me closer. My head is flush with his pec now, and he exhales what sounds like a groan of satisfaction.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” I think out loud.

The corner of his mouth curls into a grin, and he tucks a strand of my red hair away from my face. “Believe it. Because it sure as fuck won’t be the last time.”

His response sets a wild herd of butterflies loose in my stomach.

So many questions eat at me. Does he want to be friends with benefits? Is this purely about sex to him?

And what about me?

Do I want more than a sexual relationship?

We hold each other in silence for the next few minutes. Somehow, this silence feels telling. We’re both comfortable like this. With Kane dragging the backs of his fingers up and down my arm while I trace endless circles on his chest.

We both welcome the quiet instead of dreading it, and another five minutes pass before my mind returns to its scheduled overthinking.

All the mysteries I’ve yet to elucidate since getting to the beach house pop into my brain, and I might not be ready to label what just happened between us, but I’m more than willing to ask him about everything else.

“Can I ask you a question?” It comes out as a whisper.

His green eyes drop to mine. “Hit me.”

“Do you still drink?” I ask, memories of the first time he kissed me fueling my curiosity. “I know you were drinking that night in the gazebo.”

He was sipping on a bottle of whiskey when I found him sitting alone. But that was the only instance where I’ve seen him drink since the beginning of the summer.

He hasn’t had a drop of alcohol at any of our parties and gatherings so far.

He wasn’t drinking at Vince’s pool party, nor did he drink the night of Jamie’s birthday. Jamie also said he didn’t have a drink that time they all hung out at the docks without me.

I just want to know if he’s actually sober or way too good at pretending that he is.

“That night in the gazebo was a relapse. It’s the only time I’ve had a drink since summer started.”

“Shit… That couldn’t have been easy. Stopping cold turkey.” I angle my head to look at him.

He scoffs. “You’re telling me.”

“How’d you do it?”

A sigh leaves his lips. “I overheard our moms talking when I snuck out to try and replace something to drink one night. It was just days after I got here.” He scoffs in recollection. “I had glasses and this creepy-ass camouflage on. I was hoping to raid a 7-Eleven or whatever liquor store I could replace downtown.

“They were out on the patio when I came down. My mom was sobbing in Lillian’s arms, talking about how worried she was about me and how she felt she’d failed me as a mother.” Something in his eyes shifts, a drop of guilt bleeding through his words. “I just… I felt like such a piece of shit I thought I was going to die.”

I’m not even the tiniest bit surprised that Evie’s the reason he stopped drinking.

“I’d rather spend the rest of my life in fucking agony than ever have to hear my mom cry again.”

God, he cares so much.

Maybe not about everything and everyone, but the select few he loves can be sure he’ll never desert them.

This guy is loyal to a fault.

“She’s lucky to have such an adoring son.”

He shakes his head. “I’m the lucky one.”

A few more seconds elapse before I feel a yawn coming on.

“I should get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow.” I start to move out of his embrace, but he immediately tightens his grip around my waist.

“Okay. Night.” He grabs his phone on the nightstand and selects the app controlling the house’s smart lights.

He turns off the lights in his bedroom with one click. Then he closes his eyes as if ready to doze off.

A chuckle climbs up my throat. “I meant in my own bed.”

His lips tip into a smile. “What was that? I can’t hear you with my eyes closed.”

My chuckle evolves into a full-body laugh. “What am I? Your hostage?”

He cracks one eye open, giving a shrug. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

I should want to fight him on this, but I don’t have the energy. “Are you saying I’m not allowed to leave?”

He closes his eyes again. “You’re not sleeping anywhere else, I can tell you that much.”

I consider my options.

I won’t be comfortable unless I put some clothes on.

I hate sleeping naked. Just doesn’t seem right. Probably because of that time Gray and I watched those funny videos of people having to evacuate their fifth-floor apartment butt naked during a fire.

“If you’re going to keep me here, the least you can do is give me some clothes.”

He peels his eyes open, the smirk dancing on his mouth making my heart flutter. “Says who?”

Idiot.

I’ve slipped out of his arms and flicked the lights back on before he can protest. I’m quick to wrap the blanket I pulled off the bed around my body and pad toward his dresser on the far wall. I’ll just grab a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

The first drawer I open has hoodies in it. It isn’t long before I replace the T-shirt drawer and start digging through the pile of clothes.

The first shirt I pull out casts a thick mist over my eyes.

What the…

I glance back at Kane, holding the shirt in the air. “Is that…”

Discomfort streaks through his eyes. “Gray’s? Yeah.”

The T-shirt in my hand is black, old, and sports a funny quote. I remember looking for this shirt when Mom and I were sorting through Gray’s clothes and donating them.

I wanted to keep it like the rest of his quotes T-shirts. I was so sad when I didn’t replace it anywhere.

Turns out Kane had it all along.

My gaze skims over the quote.

It’s okay to lose your shit sometimes. If you don’t, you’ll end up full of shit and you’ll explode. Then there’ll be shit everywhere and nobody wants that.

I never thought a quote about shit could bring tears to my eyes, but I’m losing the battle against my grief before I know it, a lone tear streaming down my face.

I wipe it away quickly. “Why do you have this?”

He averts his eyes like my tears make him physically sick. “Gray gave it to me.”

“He did?”

Kane nods. “Yeah. A little after we moved into your house.”

“Why?”

“We’d sold most of my designer clothes so that my mom could afford rent, and I had three shirts left, tops. One night, my clothes were in the wash, and I was looking for something to wear. Gray noticed and gave me the T-shirt. I refused at first, being the proud little shit that I was, and in typical Gray fashion, he told me to get over myself and take the damn shirt.”

“And you still have it?” I state the obvious.

“Wouldn’t get rid of it for the world.”

My heart cracks down the middle.

I comb through his dresser for a pair of sweatpants before changing the subject. “Can you close your eyes while I get dressed?”

His scoff is my answer. “My face was between your legs five minutes ago, but you’re embarrassed to change in front of me?”

I hold my own. “Yes.”

“Fine. But just so you know, I intend to have every inch of your flawless fucking body committed to memory by next week.”

My cheeks flush.

“Eyes, mister!”

He lets out a deep, breathy laugh but complies. I get dressed as fast as I can and excuse myself to the bathroom.

By the time I come back, Kane has his eyes closed, but he’s covered himself with the bedsheet. It sits a few inches below his Adonis belt, his sculpted and tattooed body on display. I glance at the door, wondering if I could get away with sneaking off to my room while he’s asleep.

I start to walk away, but his voice cuts through the air. “Don’t even think about it.”

I look in his direction to see him staring at me with the most adorable smile on his face.

I wrestle a grin and amble toward the bed with the blanket balled up in my hand. I climb in right next to him, but he doesn’t let me pull the duvet over the two of us, immediately pulling me into his arms.

Kane presses his chest to my back, spooning me so tightly our bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. His breath fans my skin as he buries his nose in the crook of my shoulder. I reach for the lamp on the nightstand and turn the lights off, for good this time.

Kane rests his chin on my shoulder, his breath skittering down my cheek. “Drea told me you opened a store.”

I can’t explain how nervous I feel when I realize he’s probably visited my website and gone through all of my paintings. “Oh, um… yeah.”

Kane drags his lips against the side of my neck, resting a gentle kiss below my jaw, and I shudder in his arms.

This is starting to freak me out.

All of this… cuddling with him… sleeping in his bed…

It feels… intimate.

Maybe more intimate than actually getting intimate with him.

I’ve had my fair share of meaningless hookups with guys before—that’s pretty much all I allowed myself to have after Gray died—but this moment feels significant.

He brings my focus back to him. “I went through your paintings.”

“And?

“Your work is fucking incredible.”

My smile takes up my whole face. “Thank you. I’m hoping to sell enough to pay you back for all those supplies.”

He lets out an annoyed growl. “I told you I don’t care.”

“And I told you I’m not a charity case,” I counter.

He pushes on my stomach to press my body even tighter against his, and I feel his cock prod the crease of my ass.

He makes a disgruntled noise, slipping his fingers under my T-shirt. “Goddamn, you’re stubborn.”

I rub myself against the bulge in his pants. “You’re just figuring that out now?”

“Sleep, baby,” he warns, his fingertips digging into my hip bone and holding me steady as if to stop me from teasing him.

I’m quick to comply, letting the exhaustion take my body under and closing my eyes.

I spent all night wondering if this was just sexual.

But a guy who only wants sex doesn’t call you baby.

He doesn’t make you come twice without asking for anything in return.

He doesn’t kiss your jaw or tell you you’re not allowed to leave his bed.

I think this might be more.

The question is, can my heart handle it?

“Hey, asshole, we have to leave in… Shit, I’m sorry!”

My senses blur together when I peel my eyes open, confusion making my thoughts foggy.

It takes my brain a few seconds to catch on, the previous night’s events coming back to me from the moment I take in my surroundings.

I’m in Kane’s bed.

The first thing I notice is the veined forearm firmly wrapped around my waist. I cast a glance over my shoulder and replace Kane sleeping like a baby. He’s still spooning me. We haven’t moved an inch since last night.

“I didn’t know you were with… someone.” Drea’s voice snaps me out of it, and I look up, immediately spotting her by the doorway.

She’s staring at us with her mouth agape, her shocked expression morphing into a knowing smirk as soon as we make eye contact.

On autopilot, I pick Kane’s arm off my body—as though that’s magically going to erase what Drea saw—and drop it at his side. Only then does he come to, stirring next to me.

“Drea? What the fuck are you doing here?” Kane’s tired voice carries across the room.

“Just wanted to make sure you were awake. We have to leave in an hour.”

Leave?

Leave where?

“I’m awake. Now, get out,” he drawls.

Drea can barely contain her smile as she nods, apologizes again, and walks out.

I realize I also have somewhere to be as soon as she closes the door and sit up straight. “What time is it?”

Kane shrugs. “Who cares? Get back here.”

I have the good sense to climb out of bed before Kane can trap me into his embrace.

“Where’s my phone?” I search the nightstand and the floor, with no luck.

Shit, I must’ve left my phone in the sunroom.

Kane watches as I round the bed and grab his phone off the nightstand to check the time.

10:05.

Thank God.

I don’t have to be at work for another two hours. But I still need to shower, get ready, and have breakfast. I also like to get to work a good twenty minutes before my shift.

“So, um… I need to take a shower and get ready for work. Last night was fun. Thanks for the orgasms.”

Thanks for the orgasms?

Did I really just say that?

I have zero idea how to talk to this guy, knowing where his tongue was last night, and it shows. I turn to walk away, but Kane’s hand flies out to catch my wrist before I can take another step.

I expect him to pull me back into his arms, my mind racing when he pushes out of bed instead and makes a beeline for the bathroom.

“What are you doing?”

“You said you needed to shower. Let’s shower.”

He doesn’t give me a chance to digest what he just said, locking us in the bathroom and releasing my wrist.

He wants us to shower together?

As in… completely naked?

Duh.

People don’t usually shower with clothes on.

He might’ve seen me in an extremely vulnerable position last night, but I’ve yet to see him naked, and the anticipation turns my stomach into a bag of knots.

“I… Don’t take this the wrong way, but I was thinking alone.”

Problem is, he’s already sliding the shower door open and turning the water on.

He spins in a circle, hungry eyes studying my body, and fills the space between us in one stride. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but not a chance in hell.”

Then his mouth is on mine.

I gasp at the suddenness of it all, and Kane uses my surprise to slip his tongue past my lips. My hands dart upward to clutch his face, and I moan at the expense of my pride.

Fuck.

Last night felt like a fever dream.

I somehow managed to convince myself that he would wake up the next day and go right back to avoiding me. The words he said to me before making me his on the piano echo in my head.

“This isn’t a onetime thing.”

Looks like he meant it.

Kane’s fingers curl around the nape of my neck as if to nail me into place as he works his tongue deeper into my mouth, claiming and tasting mine.

The kiss is raw, maddening, and carries a sharp edge of resentment. I wish there was a world in which I didn’t want him. A way to stop craving every little touch, every breathtaking kiss and the noises he makes when our lips fuse together.

If I could, I would surgically remove him from my body. Grab a scalpel and cut this boy out of me. Problem is, he’s so deep under my skin I’m afraid any attempt at extracting him would rip me open and bleed me dry.

I’m starting to think there’s no escaping my fate, and when he backs me up against the outer pane of the shower, sucks my bottom lip between his teeth, and tugs on it hard, I don’t want to.

Kane crushes his shirtless body to mine, and his right hand falls downward. He fists the fabric of my shirt like he’s pouring all of his willpower into not ripping it to shreds.

His groan is packed with impatience and a tinge of desperation. “Let me see those fucking tits.”

I arch my back, lifting my arms over my head to facilitate the process. He removes my shirt first. Then he goes for the sweatpants he lent me.

His big hands cup my breasts, his mouth latching onto my puckered nipples one by one. He twirls his tongue around the tips, sending bolts of pleasure to my lower stomach, and I take a fistful of the hair on the back of his head, keeping him there for a beat.

He’s got me butt naked.

Again.

Meanwhile, he’s still wearing the pants he fell asleep in—don’t ask me how he managed that one. You would have to pay me a fortune to sleep in jeans.

I bring my palms to his chest and push him off me.

“You’ve seen me naked two times now. I think it’s only fair that I get to see the goods, too.”

His stupid, sexy smirk constricts my throat. “No one’s stopping you.”

I don’t think twice, dropping to my knees in front of him and unbuckling his belt. His chest heaves with a sharp breath as I tug his zipper down and slip my fingers into the waistband of his jeans.

A growl rumbles deep in his throat, and I blink up at him innocently. “Jesus, Hadley. I can’t promise I’m going to be a gentleman if you—”

I pull his pants down in one go.

His cock slips free.

It’s thick and hard, bulging veins snaking up his shaft, and I can’t even begin to hide my shock.

He’s… huge.

I’m not exaggerating.

He makes the other dicks I’ve seen in my life look pathetic. Not only would he tear me apart down there, but I’m pretty sure I would risk death if I tried to deep-throat him.

I ogle his tattoo of a guitar wrapped in roses and thorns. The dark ink stretches across his bicep, pec, and obliques, stopping inches above his dick.

He must pick up on how overwhelmed I am because he takes my hand into his and lifts me off the bathroom floor.

“Get in,” he instructs, gesturing to the shower with his chin. He barely gives me a chance to comply before he’s following in after me and squeezing me into a tight corner of the tiled shower.

He doesn’t even flinch at the temperature of the water, so hyperfocused on me that I feel the depth of his gaze in my bones.

He captures my lips in a searing kiss, his tongue tracing the seam of my mouth before requesting access. I open up for him, inching closer until my breasts are flush with his chest, and his cock is rubbing against my stomach.

He parts from me a few minutes later, reaching for the bodywash on the shower caddy and flipping it over, gathering the soap in his palm.

He rubs his hands together and covers my arms in soap before focusing on my breasts.

A moan escapes me as he washes me slowly, flicking my nipples with his thumb as he runs his fingers up my chest. He touches me everywhere except where I want him, discovering the curves of my body and taking his sweet time doing it.

Once he’s done, he grabs the detachable showerhead and rinses the soap off me. I push to my tiptoes as soon as he’s put the showerhead back into place and take his lips with mine. He sucks in a sharp breath at my initiative, kissing me back instantly.

Our tongues are in a frenzy by the time I garner the courage to grab his cock. Kane ends the kiss right away, jerking his hips and pushing his cock farther into my hand without realizing it.

“Shit.” A sigh hisses between his lips when I tighten my hold around him. “Don’t fucking start something you can’t finish.”

I attempt to jerk him off, but it’s an epic failure, seeing as he’s giving me no space, still cornering me. It’s as though he needs to be as close to me as humanly possible, and I can barely lift my arm in this position, let alone give a good hand job.

Crazy thing is, looking at him now, you’d think he’s about to come in my hand, the muscles in his jaw flexing every time I squeeze my fingers around him.

I slip away from him, and his eyes widen in shock, watching as I lower myself to the shower floor and grab his cock again.

His hand dives into my red hair. “Fuck, just… look at you. You’re a fucking dream.”

Shaking on the inside, I circle his cock with my hand and move forward until his tip is inches from my face.

I scan his features, taking in his reaction as I swipe my tongue over the head of his cock.

He twists my hair around his fist. “Fuck, Hadley… Don’t look at me like that unless you want me to go fucking feral on your mouth.”

I keep my gaze firmly on him, hovering near his cock but never touching it.

That’s when he snaps.

“Open.” He uses his grip on my hair to jerk my head closer, and I let out a small gasp. The next thing I know, he’s driving his length past my lips and filling my mouth to the brim.

My first instinct is to pull back, but he doesn’t let me, holding me in place.

“Fuuck.” He groans, burying himself deep in my throat.

I can’t explain what he does to me. All I know is the look on his face flips a switch inside me. I’ve never been more turned on in my life, and the fact that it took him taking charge and shoving his dick inside my mouth scares me.

Desire pricks at my skin, and I try to take him deeper, gagging when I do. I look up just in time to see his eyes soften.

“Relax your jaw.” He runs his fingers up and down my jawline.

I can’t seem to do it.

“Hadley, relax that pretty mouth for me.”

My eyes are starting to water, and he doesn’t seem to like it.

He’s just so damn big there’s no way I can put all of him in my mouth.

He rubs my cheek with his thumb, what sounds like a mixture of affection and doubt lacing his tone. “Hey, it’s okay. We should stop if—”

He’s cut off by both of my hands enclosing his cock.

He’s too big for my mouth. There’s no point in denying it. And while I intend to do everything I can to make him feel good, I refuse to make myself feel bad in the process.

I begin pumping him with both hands while my mouth attaches to the tip of his cock. I’m putting my all into it, sucking him off with so much pressure his head falls back.

“Oh, fuck.” His groan is the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.

I twirl my tongue around him repeatedly, pumping my hands faster and guiding him deeper every once in a while. I can’t keep him there the whole time without choking, but judging by the pleasure contorting his face, it doesn’t matter. I repeat the process a handful of times before he starts shaking.

“Stop.” He taps the back of my hand, and I comply, removing my fingers from his cock and gripping his legs for balance.

That’s his cue to grab hold of my face and start full-blown fucking my mouth.

“Hadley Queen, you’re a fucking goddess.” He squeezes his eyes shut, ramming himself down my throat again and again.

I don’t say a word, letting him use me to get off.

And the crazy part? I love it.

That’s right. I must be out of my mind because I love what he’s doing to me, and when he unloads inside my mouth with a curse, I feel… sad.

Disappointed that it’s over.

I swallow every drop of his cum, wiping the corner of my mouth with my index.

He takes my wrist into his hand and helps me to my feet just seconds after he comes down from the high. I can feel his stare boring holes through my forehead, but I’m not brave enough to look at him.

I feel ashamed.

Like I should be embarrassed that I let this happen when I swore I would never forgive him. I broke every single one of the promises I made myself. All for the boy who broke me.

It’s easy to forget who he is when we’re alone, trading confessions in the sunroom, but he’s still one of the most famous artists on the planet and the one person I can’t trust.

I don’t want to fall for him, knowing he could walk out of my life all over again.

“Hads,” he breathes as though he can sense me pulling away from him.

I show him my back. “I really need to get ready if I don’t want to be late for work.”

He doesn’t speak for a moment.

But then a strong hand wraps around my arm, and he spins me around so quickly I nearly lose my balance.

Kane’s hand flies to my lower back before I slip, and he tugs me against his chest. “What just happened?”

I look up at him, the ache in my ribs spreading to my entire body. Understanding flashes in his eyes. I don’t need to answer his question. He knows the spell is broken, and unlike the time he kissed me in the gazebo, I’m the one who wants to run.

When I don’t respond, he tilts my chin forward and kisses the fuck out of me.

I let him kiss me.

In spite of all the reasons why I shouldn’t. Like the fact that summer will be over in a few weeks, and he’ll go right back to LA while I go back to Boone.

He’ll go back to being on top of the world, and I’ll go back to being the invisible girl who put him there.

It takes all I have to disconnect from him and step out of the shower.

“Hads, just… wait.” His plea hurts a little. “Did I… Did I do something wrong?”

I make quick work of drying my body with a towel and getting dressed, well aware that he’s watching my every move, still inside the shower.

I don’t allow myself to glance his way, but I can just picture him standing there, naked and confused as water courses down his glorious body.

I can’t even look at him. “No, I just really need to get to work.”

Those are the last words I say before racing out of there.