Something very odd happened early this morning.

When I went to bed last night, I was in my own room and under my blanket. Everything was fine. I even remember literally falling asleep in my own bed. However, when I woke up, I was sitting outside on the front steps. I was leaning against the wall, no jacket or long sleeve shirt on, and I was alone. I didn’t know how I got outside.

I don’t remember coming outside.

This was at four in the morning.

By the time I came to, I was just staring out into the cul-de-sac, and I was freezing cold.

It took me some time to get up and go back inside but I finally did. I was shivering and it got worse even when the hot air from inside surrounded me. None of the lights were on, and I guess my parents were still sleeping.

I just don’t remember coming down stairs. I don’t remember going outside.

I couldn’t go back to sleep, not that I was scared of potentially sleep walking again, but because I wanted to know why. I’ve never had that problem before, and it was absolutely bizarre to end up on the front steps.

“You look pale.” Mom said as I walked by her in the kitchen to get breakfast before going to school.

I didn’t even know how to respond to her comment. Even though I’ve been in the house for the past two and half hours, I was still feeling cold. I can’t tell her that I was sitting outside either, mostly because I don’t know how I got there and how long I was there for. Plus, I was just wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants like it wasn’t freezing cold outside.

“Gabriel!” She was loud to snap me out of it.

I had zoned out.

“Sorry.” I tried to shake the feeling off. “I guess I’m just worried about my exam.” I played it off as something else.

“You’ll do fine.” She smiled at me.

I feel like she could tell there was something wrong. And there definitely was something wrong. I just smiled back at her as I told her goodbye.

Hopefully school today isn’t as weird as my morning.

I was trying to study a few math problems in the library during sixth period but I wasn’t having much luck. I might have to go to Ty’s place later so he can help me. I thought math was my strong suit, but apparently algebra will always be my weakness. I don’t care about triangles.

He wasn’t in school again today. I don’t know what’s going on, but the Martin brothers are having a lot of issues over the past few days. I hoped that they could get it together, but it seems like it’s getting bad.

I didn’t tell Ty about what happened this morning.

I didn’t exactly know what happened if I’m being honest. I don’t know how I ended up outside. I don’t think I’m stressed out. Then again, a lot of stuff happened over the past few months so maybe I’m just not feeling well.

“Hey!”

That abrupt voice came out of nowhere.

I looked up and saw Henri slide in the seat next to me. We have this period together, but I didn’t think he’d skip. I didn’t think he’d skip just to be with me. He got comfortable really quickly.

“Working hard there.” he gestured to the book he got for me.

Henri’s really out going and out spoken. Apparently, he felt bad that he took the last book at the library so he bought one just to give to me. He didn’t have to go through the extra length for me, but since I have the book, I might as well use it. Ty will nag me about it for the next month so I have to get it together.

“I just hope that I can get into a good school.” I sighed miserably. All the work I’ve done for the past couple years is about to be reduced to a standardized test that I don’t want to take.

“Seems like you’ll do fine, Gabriel.”

He’s also positive and reassuring.

He’s like...the sun, all radiant and bright. It was nice.

“So I heard...” He started slowly, which is uncharacteristic of him from just sitting with him a few times. He’s usually loud and abrupt so him being careful with his words is a bit shocking. “You’re dating that one guy.”

Oh.

I wonder who told him.

“I am dating that one guy.” I answered.

“I think that’s kind of cool, you know, the whole progressive movement and all.”

“Right, cause I can’t like a boy unless it’s for a reason.” I said sarcastically despite knowing what he meant by his statement.

Surprisingly, people are nice about it. Well, people in school are nice about it. I’m praying and begging I don’t get outed to an adult, especially my parents. Not that they’d have an issue, but I’m sure Ty won’t be able to come over and I won’t be able to stay at his house as frequently as I do.

I wasn’t really concerned about how Henri brought it up. People tend to tiptoe around the conversation the first time they ask about it. But by how he laughed at my comment, I knew he didn’t take it to heart.

“I just meant, you know, being okay with yourself and having everyone know about it.”

“Henri.” I looked him dead in the eyes. “Are you gay?”

He had to have a secret. He was latching on to mine.

“No.” This was the first time I’ve seen him flustered. “I mean, I don’t want to be definite, but like...I don’t think so.” He looked away, thinking to himself.

I might have hurt his brain a little.

“Okay, let’s change the subject.” He shook his head. “The last thing I need is to say something stupid.”

“I’m just messing with you.” I smiled at him. “Everyone’s really cool about it so that’s nice. You don’t have to worry about saying something stupid around me.”

I don’t think I’m mean.

I like talking to people and Henri is out spoken.

I almost felt inclined to tell him what happened this morning. I haven’t told anyone yet, and I wanted some insight. I was thinking if I should see my doctor or maybe I’m over reacting.

But as I opened my mouth to say something, I had this foggy feeling in my mind again. I recognized it because I’ve felt it before. It’s like something was controlling me.

I was calm, but it was strange, like something else wanted me to feel this way.

“Um...” I couldn’t think. I tried to get through the confusion, but I didn’t feel in control.

I don’t know what’s happening.

A hand pressed on my shoulder gently. My gaze went right to Henri. “Are you okay?” He asked me.

Okay, so there is something wrong.

I was going to tell him...

But...

“I’m fine.” I said instead.

That’s not what I meant to say but that’s what came out of my mouth. I was looking at him and he smiled at me like he always does.

Everything’s...fine.

The bell rang. That’s what finally snapped me out of it. It was like feeling released. I looked around, thinking that I could orient myself, but nothing really changed.

“...glad it’s the end of the day. This cold weather is getting me.” Henri was talking to me.

“You’ll have to get used to it.” I said when I looked over to him again. “Every winter is brutal.”

“Can’t believe I had to move here.”

“It’s not that bad.” I said. “Not having to go to school during a storm is especially nice.”

We both got up and started putting our stuff away.

“You know,” he started quietly, “I heard they’re wolves around here.” He said it like it was a secret.

The whole town knows about the animals.

“I feel like no one’s told you about Mr. Conrod yet.” I sighed as I lifted my bag. “Once you threaten someone’s home, they’re going to fight for it.” I commented, more so to myself.

Just thinking about Mr. Conrod made me uncomfortable.

“Huh.” Henri was stumped. “I’m allergic to dogs.”

Well, he shouldn’t go near the wolves then.

“Anyway,” he said as he smiled widely at me. “If you’re free later, we should study together. I really hate reading and I’ve been told you’re good.”

“Only if you help with math.”

“Definitely!” He got excited.

It’s always brightening to talk to him. He reminds me of the sun. It’s nice.

My parents were home by the time I was. I had to tell them there was something wrong. I mean, I did have a head injury not too long ago.

“...found a missing person in the city, completely slaughtered.”

That was what I walked in on. I haven’t been paying attention much to the news lately because of all the studying I haven’t been doing, but I should watch to see what’s happening. I had no idea this happened.

“People on the news were saying it’s animals that did it, but not one person that watched it believed that.” He didn’t seem convinced by that either.

“Cause what animal is going to be in the city.” My mom rolled her eyes. “If you ask me, we’ve got a psychopath on our hands.”

“Dan down at the police station said the body was completely drained of blood. Like all of it was gone.” My dad had this pale look on his face, which is rare. He never looks like that.

“Psychopath.” My mom felt like her idea was being confirmed. “We’ve got someone crazy out here.”

I feel like this is going to confirm me still being grounded. I usually don’t go into the city anyway cause I have nothing to do there, but I feel like whatever problems happen there just trickles over here and I have to deal with it.

“Someone got killed?” I asked.

“Second person this month. It’s...bizarre really.” My dad said. He doesn’t like stuff like this. “What did you do?” He saw I had a certain expression on my face.

Like I had something to say, and I did, but I didn’t want to get myself in trouble.

“Remember when I hit my head-”

“We won’t forget any of what happened.” My dad said so I would get to the point.

“Well, I think something’s wrong...” I didn’t know how to phrase it. “I woke up sitting outside last night...” I said slowly, hoping they don’t get mad.

“You’re not a sleep walker.” Mom looked at me. “Do you feel sick?” She asked.

“Not really.” I shrugged. “I remember going to bed just fine, but then I woke up outside.”

My parents looked at each other questioningly. They didn't know what was wrong either.

“Make a doctor’s appointment.” My dad said to me, but I think he meant to say that to mom- “You’re almost seventeen-”

“Anytime someone asks me a personal question I just look at you two to answer.” I wasn’t ashamed to say that. My parents usually handle all that stuff and I don’t really want to start yet.

“You did this.” Dad told Mom.

“He’s my baby.” Mom pulled me into a loving hug. That was reassuring. My dad would never hug me like this. “Let’s make sure you’re okay.”

“When are you getting a haircut?” Again, my dad wanted to get straight to the point.

That is his favorite question of the new year. I get to grow my hair out in the winter, but come spring, my hair has to be cut so people can see my face. He acts like I don’t tie my hair up to keep it out of my face, but my dad actually hates when I grow my hair out because I look like him when he was in high school and those years weren’t his favorite. Mom told me.

“At the usual time at the usual place.” I answered, because every year on the same day, I do what I’m supposed to.

“Now people will be able to see your scar.” Mom said as she pushed my hair back so she could see my forehead.

It’s not as dark as it was weeks ago, but it’s still there.

“Honestly, I’m still getting questions about the gunshot wound.” I said, touching over my stomach where I had my scar. “That one still hurts.” It throbs now and again and its bothersome.

“It’s a reminder of what not to do.” My dad said, and I knew he was going to make a comment like that.

My dad knows it wasn’t my fault, but I feel like he will never forgive me for what happened. Or forgive the universe. Whatever did it, he’s still mad at it.

“Anyway...” I started slowly. I was about to ask if I could go outside.

My dad wasn’t hearing it. “No-”

“I was going to ask to study with Henri.” I came out with it.

“Who’s Henri?”

“One of the new kids at school. Apparently like four families moved in to the new neighborhood recently.”

My dad narrowed his eyes. I think he was trying to decide what to do with the information. I’m not lying, everyone knows there’s new people in town. It’s just that I’m grounded and he wants me to stay grounded.

“Is he smart?”

That’s a valid question.

“He said he’s good at math.” I shrugged. “And I know how to read so it’s like a trade off.” I added.

“He’s not wrong.” Mom smiled at my dad.

“Okay, fine.” He groaned, giving in. “But be back at seven-”

“That’s in like four hours!-”

“It’s a school night.” He said over me. And he made it seem like I was lucky to go outside at all, though he’s right.

Because I’m grounded.

My attitude changed quickly. “I’ll be back at seven.” I said immediately and was in a rush to leave the house.

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