Selected
Twenty-First

I couldn’t sleep. I hadn’t slept since Koontz’s death which was two days ago. His execution was announced over the news just yesterday. Vox laid next to me snoring softly. I wished I could sleep like that. My thoughts were consumed with Koontz. I could have done more. I should have done more. Instead I sat around this plush castle, wallowing about his problems instead of taking action. That’s who I was. I wasn’t a person of action. Not even in the slightest. Maybe if I was, I could have saved him.

I got out of bed slowly as to not shake the bed and wake Vox. I slipped out the door and down the hallway. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I couldn’t just lay around with my mind running like it was. I would imagine that someone who hasn’t slept in two days would collapse from exhaustions, but I was wide awake. I made my way down the stairs and saw a light coming from the kitchen. I followed it, curious as to who was up this late.

I swung the door open to reveal Hal standing in front of a plate of fruit. “Hal?”

She looked up, “Hey. Couldn’t sleep either? I woke up with this insane craving for strawberries. Thank God we had them. I think I would have gone ballistic.” I smiled and nodded politely. Food cravings weren’t what was keeping me up. “What one?”

I shook my head, “No thank you.”

“Vox says you haven’t been sleeping?”

I sighed and sat down on the bar stool next to her. “How would he know? He sleeps like a baby.”

At that moment the kitchen door swung open. Addeck came shuffling through. “Addeck, you couldn’t sleep either?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

Hal gestured to the bar stools on the other side of the island, “Come join us. Strawberry?” She offered him her plate, but he just waved it off. “Tell us, Addeck, what is troubling you?”

He looked up. His brown hair hung low and covered the tops of his eyes that reflected sorrow. “Nothing.” He paused for a brief moment, “How are you, Hal? Everything going okay?”

She nodded, “Of course.” Her eyes quickly glanced to me before returning to Addeck. I wasn’t sure if that signal was for me or him. “Please don’t avoid my question.”

He sighed and stared down at his hands. “Just the same dream I always have.”

That answer seemed to satisfy Hal. But it didn’t satisfy me. I didn’t know whether it was the sleep deprivation or just the curiosity that overwhelmed me but I pried, “What dream?”

Hal gave me a warning look, “Addeck, you don’t have to-.”

“That’s okay, I will.” Addeck looked at me, his green eyes were filled with darkness and despair. They shifted out of focus as if he was reliving his dream again. “The one where I see Yale standing in front of me on a rain soaked bridge. She yells at me that she can’t stand her life anymore. I move toward her, reaching out, trying to save her, but it’s too late. And I watch as her body falls toward the river. I always wake up right when her body makes a splash.”

A shiver ran through me. I didn’t expect that. The way he told it made my skin crawl. “I’m so sorry.” At least I wasn’t dreaming of Koontz’s death every night.

He shook his head but didn’t say anything. Silence hung in the air. Hal stared at her plate of strawberries as she stood quietly. She then announced that she was going to bed.

Addeck and I sat in heavy silence. I could tell he was still being haunted by the same scene over and over again as if it was permanently seared in his brain. I couldn’t imagine witnessing that. I couldn’t imagine the pain and the sorrow that accompanied that memory. He stood and without at word left me alone in the kitchen.

When the alarm went off the next morning, I just stared at it. It bleeped loudly and annoyingly, but I just stared. Vox rolled over and reached across me to turn it off. “Did you sleep any?”

I shook my head in response.

“I asked for the day off.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I have something I want to show you.”

“What?”

He hopped up, “You have to get out of bed and meet me downstairs for breakfast to replace out. Wear pants.” With that he walked out of my room and toward his own.

I hadn’t yet decided if I wanted to see what Vox had in store. After a few minutes I decided that whatever he had planned was better than wallowing in my room all day. I got up and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a simple shirt. I grabbed a jacket before heading down the stairs and into the dining room.

The television was cut off immediately when I walked in. No doubt the family was watching a news piece on Koontz’s execution. I was grateful they turned it off, I don’t think I could stand to hear them retell his story for a hundredth time. Nothing new had changed, so why did they keep harping on it? Probably because the victim was a politician’s daughter.

“Good Moring, Emmary.”

I gave a polite smile in the direction of Mrs. Bly and mumbled a response. I ate a piece of toast and some fruit before Vox came bounding in through the door.

“Are you ready?” I took one last sip of my orange juice before nodding. “Okay, come on. I think you’re going to like it.”

Vox took my hand and lead me out through the back doors and across the green lawn. “What are we doing?”

“Hold your horses.” I felt like he was snickering at his own comment.

I still hadn't gotten a change to wonder around all of the Bly's land. Mostly because I hadn't gotten the chance. A building that I had recognized from when I had ran away. I didn't know what it was but it was huge.

He opened the huge sliding wooden doors to reveal the inside of a barn. “A barn?”

“More of a stable than a barn. I thought we would ride some horses today.”

“You have horses?” Suddenly I got why he was snickering.

He nodded, “Yes. Addeck bought Yale a few horses, she loved to ride. I hoped that they might cheer you up like they did her.”

I stopped in my tracks. I felt myself begin to cry. Vox turned to look at me. “It’s a bad idea, isn’t it? I’m sorry we can just go back inside. I’m sorry-”

I shook my head, “No. it’s a wonderful idea. Thank you.”

He smiled a little, “Then why are you crying?”

I wiped a tear away, “It’s just a really sweet gesture.”

Vox kissed me on the forehead. “Come on. ” He grabbed my hand again and lead me to the horses.

“This one is Ace of Spades, and that is Walter.”

“Walter and Ace of Spades? What a pair of names.”

“Which one do you want to ride?”

I looked at the two horses. They were both beautiful creatures. Ace of Spades was midnight black, like his name suggested, and Walter was painted horse, I loved the story of Hidalgo. I had read it at least a couple dozen times. “I think I like Walter.”

“I thought you would.” Vox looked over at the stable boy,

“Henry will you help us out over here.” Henry unlocked the stalls and lead the horses out. They were already saddled and ready to go. “Now, don’t make fun of me. I haven’t ridden in quite sometime. I took lessons when I was younger, but I’ve probably forgotten most of it.”

“Well, don't worry, I’ve never ridden one.”

Vox looked at me in amazement, “Never?”

I shook my head, “I’ve ridden a donkey once, if that counts.”

He stifled a laugh, probably from imagining me on the back of the donkey. “It doesn’t, but you’ll have to share that story with me later. Come on. Hopefully I can show you.”

He took the reins of Walter from Henry. He lead me and the brown and white spotted horse to the field beside the stables.

“Okay, so all you have to do is put your left foot in this stirrup and then lift your self up and swing your leg over to the other side.”

“Oh is that all?”

He chuckled, “I will help you if you need it.”

I approached the horse, “Shouldn’t I say hello to him first or something?”

“If you want to.”

I grinned and walked back to Walter’s face. I reached out so he could sniff my hand. His nostrils blew warm air into my palm. It was gross, but at the same time, it sort of had a calming effect over me. Vox smiled and held something out, “If you want him to love you, give him this.”

I took the sugar cube and held it in my hand for Walter to take. Walter zeroed in on the sugar almost instantly and gobbled it up. His lips tickled my palm, making me let out a giggle. “Now that is something that I’ve missed.”

I looked over at Vox as I patted Walter’s neck, “What is that?”

“You’re laugh.”

It took me a few failed attempts to mount the horse, but after a little assistance from both Vox and Henry, I managed to awkwardly shimmy my way on. It took me quite a while to get all the different commands down. But actually riding, well, it was everything I imagined it to be. I felt free, as if all of my worries were disappearing. The wind in my face and no cares on my mind. I could see why Yale loved this. I was no longer the Selector son’s Match. I was no longer a girl from Sector 16 transplanted to a new place. I was just Emmary and it felt wonderful to be just Emmary again.

My hair trailed behind me as we raced around the estate. We didn’t have that much room, but enough to get a good sprint in before having to make a sharp turn to avoid Mrs. Bly’s rose bushes. I looked to my right to discover that Vox was no longer beside me. I pulled up on the reigns like he showed me and Walter slowed to a stop.

I turned in my saddle to see Vox talking on the phone. He looked dejected as he looked at his hands and nodded. He slipped the phone back into his pocket before trotting over to me. “That was Father. I have to go help him with something. I’m really sorry, Emmary.”

I looked down at the reigns, I knew it wouldn’t last forever. I was too happy for it to do that. It seemed like I could never catch a break. If I was happy for an hour, something happened that made me depressed for the rest of the day. “That’s okay.”

He moved the horse closer and put his hand over mine. “I wish I could stay.”

I gave him a small smile, “I understand. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

“You can keep riding if you want. I could have Henry look after you. Make sure you don’t fall into another rose bush and what not.”

That comment made my smile grow. “Thank you, but I think I’m just going to go inside. I’m actually a little tired.”

He nodded, “Okay.”

I followed him back to the stables. He handed his horse over to Henry before helping me dismount. “You know, you are more than welcome to come out here anytime you want.”

“I know.”

“Okay. Well, I have to get going.”

“Bye.”

He leaned in and gave me a long and passionate kiss, as if he was trying to convey something to me. “Please try to sleep tonight.”

“I will.”

“I just worry is all.”

I smiled as I gave him a quick kiss, “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, bye.” With that he ran back up to the house and vanished inside.

I gave Walter a carrot and a hug around his neck before I went inside as well. I entered through dining room and turned the corner, only to see Vox leave with Addeck. They spoke in harsh hushed tones to each other. Addeck growled something to Vox who shook his head and whispered viciously back. The front door closed behind them. I had a feeling that whatever Vox left to go do, it wasn’t his Father’s work.

I had thought about getting in a car and following them wherever they were headed. However, my inability to be rash got the better of me and I couldn’t formulate a good enough plan for that. I decided to stay behind and snoop instead.

I stayed in Vox’s room too often for him to keep anything secretive in there. I instead settled on having a peek inside Addeck’s room. I didn’t care much of what Addeck was up to. I knew most of his past with my research on him to know that he was unhinged. But I cared if he was dragging Vox into whatever messed up world his brain had concocted. I didn’t want Vox to become like his brother.

Addeck’s door was of course locked, and without any knowledge of how to pick a lock I was stuck. Like a boat without a oar I was left to just drift. I sighed. Now what? I scratched my head before another brilliant idea popped into my head. The room.

That strange room on the first floor that I always see Addeck come out of. I had never been in that part of the house, and the fact that Addeck hung around there made me steer clear. But now, I was ready for a little adventure. Before I could think twice, I found myself opening the door.

I was first surprised that it was unlocked. The last time I saw Addeck here, he had a key. I didn't think too much of it as I flipped on the switch and closed the door behind me.

I just kind of stared at the room for a few minutes. I was shocked, amazed really. The room was completely blank. The walls were white, devoid of any decorations. A desk sat off to one side of the room, but it didn’t have any blueprints labeled ‘master plan’ on it. There was a white bed on the other side of the room. But other than that, the room was empty. I frowned. What a great detective I would make. Sherlock would recruit me in heartbeat. Not.

I looked through the drawers of the desk and found nothing. There was nothing here to replace. What did Addeck do in here? I couldn’t imagine him sleeping in here, I mean he had his own room for that. There weren’t any supplies for any hobbies that he might participate in. I didn’t know what it was, but the room gave me the creeps. After my initial sweep, I left the room, turning the lights off behind me.

“Emmary?”

I jumped clear out of my skin. Hal was standing at the bottom of the staircase. “Hi, Hal.”

“I definitely didn’t expect to see you come out of there.”

I took a breath as my heart beat calmed down, “Yeah. I was just. I mean, I always saw Addeck come out of there so I was just curious as to what was in it.”

“That was Yale’s old room.”

Things started to make sense. “Oh. Did you guys redecorate after she died or something, because it’s totally void of anything.”

Hal shook her head, “No, she just never wanted to redecorate it.” She shrugged, “Anyways, I was actually coming to replace you. Do you want to go shopping? There are just a few more items we need for the wedding.”

I nodded, glad that she changed the subject quickly and didn't ask any questions.