Sex in C Major
Chapter 57

"My granddad wrote me out of his will. My nana refused to see me anymore. And my mum threw me out."

"How old were you?"

"Nineteen."

"Well, my father threatened to have me murdered for the shame I brought to the family," Yannis said simply, and held out a hand across the box between them. "To freaks."

Stefan blinked.

Then shook Yannis' hand, warm and firm in his own, and felt something deep inside his chest...ease.

They moved all the rejected things downstairs and stacked them in the hall. Things that could be burned were then dragged into the back garden, and set on fire.

"You should have done this for Bonfire Night," Stefan said, watching the flames slowly lick their way up the mountains of old photographs and dog-eared books. An oak chair, scratched to pieces by some long-dead cat, began to smoulder.

"Maybe next year. I'm sure Darian will fill the place with more rubbish by then."

"How long have you...?"

Stefan trailed off. But when Yannis said nothing, he huffed and finished his sentence.

"...been with Daz?"

"Since we were teenagers."

Stefan fidgeted. "Am I the first you...were involved with?"

"No."

"So you've...you've done this before."

"Yes."

Stefan chewed on his lip. For a long moment, a silence stretched between them, both awkward and comfortable at the same time.

Then he dared.

"What happened to-to the previous slave?"

"She left."

"She?"

"Mm."

Stefan's gut clenched.

"So Daz is...bisexual?"

"I suppose so."

"You...suppose?"

"I've never asked."

"So-so why did she leave?"

"She wanted more than she was entitled to," Yannis said simply.

"Like what?"

"Like monogamy."

Stefan frowned.

"She wanted...to have Daz to herself?"

"Yes."

"And Daz said no."

"Of course."

"So she left."

"I happen to know you aren't this stupid," Yannis said dryly, and Stefan tore his gaze back to the fire with a guilty flush. "Whatever you and I are to each other is irrelevant. You're here because you and Darian want each other. I am here because Darian and I want each other. That's all."

"But...but you've used me, too."

"Darian likes the show."

"And you?"

Yannis shrugged. "Sometimes I'm willing to indulge him. Don't flatter yourself."

"What if what if Daz went away. Like...like now. Would you-"

"No."

It was flat and simple. Hard. And it was the answer Stefan should have wanted. It was the answer he'd wanted in the beginning, when Daz had told him about Yannis and how Yannis had always known. He hadn't wanted to sleep with Yannis, too.

And yet Yannis had fucked him. And Stefan had loved it. And he wanted Yannis to do it again.

"But-"

"You're Darian's toy. I've no interest in playing with you."

"You do it when Daz asks."

"Because he likes it."

"And you don't?"

"I don't particularly care either way."

Stefan bit his lip. Daz had warned him Yannis didn't like being talked about behind his back, but...

"Daz-Daz said you're asexual."

Yannis pulled a bit of a face, but continued to toss old papers into the fire like Stefan hadn't said anything.

"Is-is that why you don't care?"

"More or less."

"Do you never want to...to do it, then?"

"Does that surprise you?"

Stefan flushed hotly. "The hormones make me so frustrated, I have to-I have to jerk off in public toilets and alleys. If I go more than a couple of days without sex, it feels like my skin's on fire."

"Sounds addictive."

"I don't know. Maybe."

"If you're heading where I think you're heading, don't," Yannis warned.

"Where's that?"

"My hormones are perfectly normal, yes I know that to be a fact, no my asexuality is not caused by hormone imbalances."

It was bitter, the flat drone almost sarcastic.

Stefan blinked.

"Do-do people ask that a lot?"

"Many believe that's the cause of asexuality."

And yet it was familiar. Stefan had heard that before, too, but for his gender. He must have low oestrogen levels because if they were normal, he'd not feel like a man at all. It must be a side-effect of something easily fixable. It must be not be gender at all, but some other medical issue. It must not be real.

Did Yannis get that, too?

"What is the cause?" he asked.

"Same as whatever causes people to be gay or trans, I'd imagine."

"So you were always..."

"Yes."

"Do you not usually have sex then?"

"Very rarely. I let Darian occasionally. I replace sex interesting, from an academic standpoint, but it's nothing I'm especially interested in actually doing. I'd rather be doing music than masturbation."

Stefan stared at the slowly dying flames, and swallowed.