Silent Desires (Shattered Silence Duet Book 1)
Silent Desires: Chapter 18

Holy moly. What is it with these guys? Seven guys living together, and they’re all as sexy as sin. I can’t even decide who’s the most attractive. They all have equally handsome faces and chiseled bodies, from what I can tell, but they’re also all completely unique, even the twins. Is it crazy to be attracted to all seven of them? It’s not just their looks, either. Even though I’ve barely met half of them, I feel a connection to each of them.

Max has this sweetness about him, and it lifts up my spirit every time he talks to me. Jasper always gives me soft looks, and I love his protective spirit. Mr. Hargrove, or Gideon as I’ve just learned his name is, has this gentle and caring nature that warms my heart when he’s near. Tucker has a confident charm and a protective gaze that replaces me whenever we’re in the same room. I barely know Ben, but he seems to have a kind spirit that shines through his intellect and his brown eyes practically twinkle when he looks at me. Atlas has a fierce protectiveness radiating from him that pulls me closer and makes me want to curl up in his arms. And Dom seems to have an inner strength and extreme patience. The way he stares at me makes me think he might tear down the world to keep me safe.

I know they probably see me as a naive seventeen-year-old girl, but I wish they could see through the facade. Actually, if I’m wishing for anything, it would be to be able to act like the twenty-one-year-old woman I really am, especially when surrounded by these men. Wait—that means the twins are actually four years younger than me… at least they are eighteen and not minors.

When my father left, I was only six. But I remember that day well. He loved me—or so I thought. And I loved him. He called me his little Mina Bear. He was the only one I liked being around in my family. Then one day, he said he had to leave, but would be back for me soon. That was the last day I ever saw him. I never really knew why he left or why he never came back. All I knew was that it was my fault. My mother reminded me of that every day. She told me he left because he couldn’t stand to be around me and that it was all my fault she was alone. That’s when she started hitting me and locking me in the basement.

The strange thing was, she never seemed to know how old I was. When I told her I was supposed to be going to school, she backhanded me and said I wasn’t old enough. When I was ten, I got the courage to demand I start going to school. She kept saying I was only six, but I argued that even a six-year-old goes to school. It was the first and last time I ever yelled back at her. She was so angry she poured bleach in my mouth. She told me if I ever spoke to her again, she’d cut out my tongue. I coughed and threw up, but it did its damage. I haven’t spoken a single word since that day. I’m still not sure if I even can.

Now that she’s finally enrolled me in school, I can’t mess this up. Even though she’s told them I’m seventeen, there’s no way I’m going to contradict her. I don’t want to replace out if she will follow through on her promise.

“Who else lives with you?” Ben asks, bringing me back to the present.

Who else? Does Jeff live with us? I’m not actually sure. It’s not like I’m ever hanging out upstairs to see him come home or leave. If I say I’m not sure, they’ll think I’m an idiot or avoiding answering another question. I don’t know how to explain about the basement, and I definitely don’t want to. It’s embarrassing that I live there. That I deserve to live there.

I can tell they’re catching on to my vague answers with how they’re phrasing their questions now, asking both if anyone lives there and who in the same breath. Taking a deep breath and a small leap of faith, I decide to tell the truth and type Jeff.

“Who’s Jeff?” Dom asks quietly.

“Mom’s boyfriend,” he says, reading out my reply.

“How long has he been living with you?” Dom presses, sounding on edge. It’s not his turn to ask, but the answer seems important so I hold up six fingers.

“Six years?” he asks.

I shake my head and point to Blue River on the map.

“Six weeks,” Ben answers for me, and I nod. Both of them seem to relax a little. I glance at Atlas as it’s his turn, and I replace him staring at the tablet where I’d written my answers. I lean forward and delete my answers, not wanting to see Jeff’s name there as any sort of reminder.

Atlas growls in a low whisper, “did he touch you?”

I jump in surprise then stare at him in shock, my back going tense. Why would he ask that? I search his eyes as he searches mine in return. I don’t know what he’s looking for, but I’m looking for his reason for asking—or what exactly he means. He definitely touched me this morning. Luckily, my mother stopped it before it became sexual. But it’s not the first time he’s laid his hands on me, nor will it likely be the last. He hasn’t gotten too far, but there’ve definitely been unwanted touches. But I’m not sure what answer Atlas is looking for.

My eyes start to blur, and I beg myself not to cry. Dammit! I’ve already cried enough around these guys. My breath starts coming faster, and a tear spills over. Quickly, I use my free hand to double-tap Atlas’s hand that’s gripping mine. Gripping both my hands, he pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close as he presses his head to the top of mine.

“Fuck, Munishka. I wish you would tell me what’s happening,” he whispers against my head. His hand rubs my back as the tears silently fall. At least I’m not outright sobbing.

“Just know, if and when you’re ready to tell us the truth—no matter what it is, and no matter how much you think it’s your fault—we’ll protect you and make sure you’re okay, alright?”

I give a little nod. His offer warms my heart, but I don’t know if I can ever do that. I’ve got too much damage to bring into their lives and I’m not their mess to fix. But I feel like right now he needs me to agree, so I nod my head.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before I hear music start playing. It’s relaxing, and along with being held in Atlas’ warm embrace, I replace myself relaxing and soon enough, I drift off to sleep.

I wake up to the sound of whispered voices around me.

“Should we wake her up?” someone whispers.

“She looks so peaceful sleeping,” Ben replies.

“Shhh,” Atlas hisses. My head is still pressed to his chest, and his hand absently rubs up and down my spine while the other rests on my hip, in a firm but gentle touch. I replace myself not wanting to leave this position. He’s warm, and I don’t think I’ve ever slept so peacefully before.

“She’ll have to wake up soon, anyway. We need to take her back for third period,” one of the twins whispers.

“Anything to report right now?” That sounds like Dom’s voice joining in.

“Nothing crucial. It can wait until after school.”

“I made stir-fry for lunch. It’s almost ready if someone wants to wake sleeping beauty,” Ben says from farther away.

That’s when I notice the smell. Whatever stir-fry is, it smells fantastic. My stomach lets out a low grumble of need.

“She can’t eat too much or she’ll be sick. Let’s give her a small portion,” one of the twins, Jasper, I think, tells the group.

“She needs to eat. She’s so tiny,” Atlas grumbles against my head in his sexy Russian accent.

“I’ll make her a smoothie to take back to school. She can sip it slowly,” Ben replies, and Atlas grunts in reply.

I decide to stop playing possum and slowly sit up. A yawn pulls itself from me. I look at Atlas, and he smiles, stroking his hand over my hair to smooth it out. I realize it’s not in braids anymore and wonder when that happened.

Max suddenly plops himself down beside us on the couch, giving me a huge grin. “Hey there, gorgeous. You have a good nap?”

My cheeks heat as I nod, and he laughs lightly. God, that’s embarrassing, falling asleep in his brother’s lap, a man I’d only just met an hour before.

“I hope you’re hungry, because Ben’s been slaving away in the kitchen to make us lunch.” I nod again, and he takes my hand to help me stand. Atlas lets go and helps push me up with a hand on my back.

Max leads me to the giant table and pulls out a chair. As I sit, Ben places a plate of food in front of me. Soon, the others join, and everyone starts eating and chatting. The food is delicious, and I wish I could have more. It’s probably best they limited my portion, though—I really don’t want to throw up again.

Eventually, we finish lunch, and I’m escorted to the door. After I put on my shoes, I see Max carrying our bags and I turn to wave goodbye to the others.

Dom steps up, and I have to strain my neck to look up at him. “If you need anything, you let us know, okay? No matter what time of day. Max and Jasper will tell you how to reach out. Remember, you’re always welcome in our home.”

Glancing at the massive home behind him, I can’t help but wish that was true. I wish I could just stay here and never go back to my mother’s house. I nod, and he surprises me by pulling me into a gentle hug. I tense for a second, then hug him back.

Atlas bends down on one knee, bringing him almost eye-level with me. “Remember what I said. When you’re ready, I’ll listen.” He doesn’t hesitate to hug me, and I make sure to keep my sore arm away from his grip so it doesn’t hurt.

I look at Ben, who seems a little more shy than the others. “I hope you come back again, Princess. Maybe we can play a video game next time?”

I smile at him, but I’m still too nervous to reach out. I just stand there awkwardly until Jasper grabs my hand and says goodbye to the others. We head out to their truck and make our way back to school.

I’m led into Gideon Hargrove’s office, my guidance counselor, just before lunch ends, and the twins say their goodbyes with gentle hugs. I was surprised when they said Gideon wants to see me instead of taking me to art, but I wasn’t upset by it. Art really wasn’t holding my interest.

“Thanks for coming in here. Did you have a good morning at my house?” I guess one of the others must have told him about my eventful morning. Did he also know how they found me on the side of the road, freaking out?

I nod and take a seat. Glancing at his desk, I’m amused by the fact that it looks just as tidy as it did the last time I was in here. I let my eyes roam to the shelves behind him and notice how tidy those are too, not a book out of place.

Looking back at Gideon himself, I realize his appearance resembles his office, tidy and formal. Today he’s wearing a blue dress shirt, with a navy vest. A matching tie is tucked into his vest, completing his professor look. There isn’t so much as a wrinkle on his shirt, I wonder how he manages to stay so pristine all day.

“I’m pleased. I wanted you to come in so we can discuss your schedule. It has come to my attention that you might be more capable of learning than your mother thinks you are?”

My eyes widen in shock and I feel my blood freeze. Oh no, he was going to tell her. How angry would she be if she knew I wasn’t idly coloring all day like she instructed me?

“Hey, Mina,” Gideon says, moving to the chair beside me and reaching out to gently hold my hand in a comforting embrace between both of his. “It’s okay, if you want to keep this between us, we can do that, alright? Nobody else has to know if you don’t want them to.”

He ducks his head and tries to meet my eyes. I risk looking at him. His hazel eyes implore me to believe him, so I replace myself taking a deep breath and nodding before I have a panic attack. He gives me a soft smile and rubs my hand. I stare into his eyes for what feels like an eternity before he quickly pulls back, releasing my hand, clearing his throat, and moving back around his desk.