Silent Desires (Shattered Silence Duet Book 1)
Silent Desires: Chapter 33

Thankfully, Simon doesn’t return over the weekend. I laid in my bed, anxiously waiting for him to return, but he never did. It did give me a bit of time to let my wounds try to heal. And I took the opportunity to use my phone, researching stuff and sending texts.

When I’m convinced some of the texts seem to take on more than friendly tones, I decide I need to do some research. There is no way that multiple guys would be interested in me and actively flirting with me. I’m convinced it’s just their personalities, but am hopeful my new friend Google can help me out.

I search: ‘how do you know if a guy is interested in you,’ as well as ‘how to flirt.’ I also look up ‘what to do if you like more than one guy.’

Basically, all my research leads me to believe that I’m not doing anything wrong unless I’m hiding any of my relationships from the others. I’m supposed to be honest and open with them. It suggests that I get to know them all better until I can pick one. After searching, ‘do I have to choose one guy?’ I found some interesting information on something called poly relationships and reverse harems. They seem to exist more in literature than in real life, though. What’s really interesting to me are the flirting tips for girls. It suggests that how a guy responds to your flirting will indicate if he’s interested in being friends or something more.

I read over the list as I walk to school Monday morning on how to flirt:

Next, I reread the list of how to know if a guy is flirting with you:

Based on that list, all seven of them are flirting with me. But maybe they’re just flirty guys? I never saw the twins, Gideon or Tucker, do it with any other girl at school, though. They don’t even seem to really tolerate other girls much. As for the other three, I’ve never seen them with other girls, so it’s hard to say. Although, of the seven of them, those three seem the least likely to be flirty. I sigh, then smile as I see a message from Max pop up.

Max: I have a riddle.

Me: I’m listening.

Max: Who is beautiful, kind, sweet, and about to get a ride to school?

I stop in my tracks and turn to see the twins in their truck slowly creeping up behind me. I can’t help the huge grin that splits my face, as Max opens the door and jumps out. I run up to him as he jogs forward and scoops me up in a big hug, lifting my feet off the ground.

Pain radiates from my back where his arms squeeze me and I can’t help but grunt.

“Shit, sorry, Sweetheart, are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

I give him a weary smile and a thumbs-up to show him I’m okay. His eyes track over my body, like he’s looking for signs of injury, and when I grab his hand and give it a small squeeze, he seems to relax a little.

“Alright, get in, Angel. I’ll be gentle with my hug,” Jasper calls from inside the truck.

I climb in with Max’s assistance and sit between them on the bench seat. Max pulls the bag off my shoulder, and puts it by his feet, and I lean over to hug Jasper, who is very gentle with his arms. He gives the top of my head a kiss and pulls back.

“You doing okay today?” he asks, and I nod my head and smile.

As they help to buckle me in, Jasper starts driving, smiling as he asks, “so… You like my sweatshirt, huh?”

My eyes go wide and I blush. I put it on after I got further away from the house, to stay warm, with every intention of giving it to Jasper at school. I forgot I was wearing it when they showed up. I try to pull it off, but he stops me. I pull out my phone and text Max as Jasper is driving.

Me: I didn’t get a chance to wash it, and it smells now. I’m sorry 🙁

Max laughs as he reads it, then Jasper leans over and gives it a big sniff at my shoulder.

“It smells nice, like you,” he says.

Four whole seconds pass before Max whips his hoodie off and turns to me. “Well, hurry up, take it off.”

I frown at him, but do as he says. Pulling it off, I pass it to him, and he switches them, pulling it on over his head and taking a big whiff. Then he helps me put his on me. I figure if he can smell his, so can I, so I pull the fabric to my nose and inhale.

The one I took off has lost most of Jasper’s scent. This one freshly smells of my sweet twin, and I sigh as I sit back, and they both start laughing. I lightly hit both of them with the back of my hands, making them chuckle more.

I think about my list of ways to flirt and wonder if it’s weird to flirt when they’re both here. But they do things on the list in front of each other all the time, so I don’t see why not. I turn to look at Max in the eyes and give him a smile while biting my lip.

“Hi,” he says breathlessly, staring at my face.

I lightly stroke my finger down his arm, then look back up at him. He stares into my eyes like he’s trying to figure out what I’m doing. Then his eyes narrow.

I watch his eyes shift down to watch my hand moving up and down his arm softly, then to my other hand clutching my phone. A smile tugs at his lips, and before I know it, he snatches the phone from me. I try to grab it back, but he holds it out of my reach effortlessly, opening it up and flipping to the web browser.

“What are you looking at on your phone, Mina? Hmm? Let’s see here… How to know if he’s into you.” My eyes go wide with embarrassment and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I cover my face, feeling mortified, and he continues reading. “And what’s this? How to flirt with guys.”

I peek out between my fingers and see a huge grin split his face as he turns to look at me.

“Oh, Mina… what have you been reading?” he asks teasingly.

I bury my heated face with both hands, but not fast enough before he sees me turn beet red. He laughs, and I internally groan.

Max puts his arm gently around my shoulder, gently pulling me toward him.

“Tell me, Mina, Sweetheart, were you trying to flirt with me?” he asks teasingly. This is not going the way I thought it would. Why didn’t they warn me about the dangers of leaving browsers open on your phone for anyone to read?

I shake my head, but he tsks. “Hey now, no lying. We’re friends, right?”

I peek up at him and nod my head.

“Good,” he says, smiling back at me. “Cause friends don’t lie. Can you tell me why you wanted to flirt with me?”

I think for a moment. Why? Why was I flirting with them? I… I have no idea how to answer that, so I shake my head.

“Hmmm… okay,” he says, his tone playful. “Do you know what the purpose of flirting is?”

I sit up a little, letting go of my face, and look him in the eyes, curious about the answer. I shake my head again.

A smile covers his face, and then Jasper answers for us. “It’s to show someone you’re interested in them… as more than a friend.” My eyes widen as I stare at him. Is that what I was doing? Showing them I wanted more than a friendship from them? But I couldn’t have that with both of them. But they were clearly both flirting with me. I hadn’t really thought about what would happen next.

“So, now you know,” Max says, voice low, “if you flirt with someone, they’ll think you want something more with them.”

That feels like an invitation, so I don’t stop myself from gently trailing my finger up and down his thigh. This time, it’s his eyes that widen.

I watch as he swallows nervously, looking unsure about his next step. His eyes dip to my lips and my breath hitches. Is he going to kiss me? I lick my lips nervously and his eyes dart up to mine.

Slowly, he reaches out and holds my face gently between his large hands. His thumbs graze over my cheeks and he starts to lean forward. This is it! This is going to be my first kiss, and it’s with Max!

My eyes close as I lean towards him, he moves my head a little, then I feel his lips… on my cheek. My eyes open in surprise and a little disappointment. When he pulls back, he gives me an apologetic smile that brings a flush of embarrassment to my cheeks. I quickly turn to face the front, unsure what to make of that.

Is he not interested in me as more than a friend? Maybe he never expected his flirting to go anywhere. But why would they tell me that you flirt with someone if you want to build that relationship if it’s not what they want with me?

I glance at Jasper out of the side of my eye and watch as his hands flex and tighten on the steering wheel, like something is on his mind. Oh, maybe he’s the one who wants something more with me, and Max didn’t want to get in the way. I mean, I would be beyond flattered if either twin wanted something more with me, but I don’t think I could actually choose between them. They were both so different. Besides, I’m not in a place to build anything with anybody right now, so it’s for the best that Max didn’t kiss me. Liar.

I need to figure out a way to get out of my house before Simon returns. Could I tell the guys about him? Atlas said I could always go to him for help. But when he learns the truth, that it’s my fault my family fell apart, what Jeff and my mother’s other boyfriends have done to me, and what I caused my own brother to do to me, I don’t think he’d be able to stand looking at me anymore. I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror.

As soon as I arrive at school, something feels off. The students seem quieter, and there are a lot of whispers. Nobody is really looking at us though, so I don’t think it’s anything to do with me. I grip the twins’ hands tighter where I’m sandwiched between them. We—Max and I—get settled in math class and I decide to ask him about it and pull out my phone to type out a text to him.

Me: Why is everyone acting weird?

I see him read the message, and he seems a little nervous. He looks over at me, trying to read my face.

“You don’t know?”

I shake my head.

“About what happened on Friday night?”

I shake my head again. He sighs, turns to me, grabs my hand, and strokes his thumb over my palm in a comforting gesture.

“A student, Lisa, was found murdered in the woods on Friday night.”

My eyes go wide, and my mouth drops open. A student died? No, not just died, but was murdered? With my shaky hands, I pull out my phone and type.

Me: Did they catch the killer?

He reads it, and his eyes dart to mine. He shakes his head.

I suddenly have a thought and type.

Me: Which woods?

He reads it but doesn’t say anything. He looks like he doesn’t want to answer. I grab his hand and squeeze, begging him with my eyes to tell me.

“The one behind your house. It wasn’t that close to your house, though. At least a half-hour walk.”

My breathing picks up. That’s still really close to me. I was laying in my bed Friday night while this girl, Lisa, was being murdered nearby. And the killer is still out there.

Me: Do they think it was a onetime thing? This isn’t like a serial killer or something, is it?

He looks at me with sad eyes. “They think it might be a serial killer.”

I want to know who Lisa is, so I do a search and replace a result pretty quickly. Lisa Sanchez, seventeen, and… Oh. My. God. My eyes shoot up to Max as tears start to form.

Me: I knew her.

He looks at me, surprised.

“You did? I didn’t know you knew anyone else?”

Me: She was in my gym class. She talked to me. She seemed so nice. She…

“She what, sweetheart?” he asks, watching me as I type.

Me: I thought she looked a lot like me. Are there other victims?

He looks away, like he doesn’t want to answer, but I know how to replace answers now, so I start searching for news articles about other murders.

“Mina, don’t,” Max says, placing his hand over my phone. I need to know, though. I pull it away and start searching. I replace one other result of a murder from a couple of months ago in this town, Elsie. She has the same brown hair, green eyes and height as me, too. Then I remember last week hearing about a guy’s sister being murdered. I switch my phone off and try to contain my tears from spilling.

“Sweetheart?” I blink my eyes open and look up at Max, not even trying to hide my fear and worry. “Do you really not know anything about the murders?”

I shake my head rapidly at him. He seems to soften.

“Are you scared?”

I nod, and he wraps me in a gentle hug, softly rubbing the top of my back, near my shoulders—thankfully missing the lash marks.

“Shh shh, it’s okay, Sweetheart. We’re gonna take care of you. Nothing is going to happen to you, okay?”

I’m not sure how he can promise that, but I pretend, if even just for a moment, that he can do that and I give a small nod against his chest.

“I want you to remember that you can talk to me or my brothers about anything. You can tell us if something scares you, and we’ll chase your fears away, okay?”

I nod and pull myself together as Mrs. Pinkins starts class.