Silent Desires (Shattered Silence Duet Book 1)
Silent Desires: Chapter 45

Switching my alarm clock off, I blink my eyes heavily. I feel awful. My body is sluggish, and it takes a great deal of effort to sit up. Last night, after having that conversation with Max, I felt happy and excited for today. I couldn’t wait to see him again. But right now, I just wish I could roll over and go back to sleep. I must be getting sick.

It takes all my strength to drag myself upstairs to the bathroom. I barely have enough energy to braid my hair and get dressed in a way that won’t get me in trouble. As I exit the bathroom and head through the kitchen, my mother takes one look at me and smiles. She can see I don’t look well, and it makes her happy. That thought squeezes my heart in pain. Isn’t my mother supposed to care about me?

“You are positively glowing this morning, Mina. Don’t be late!” she yells the last part as she turns and exits the kitchen with her cup of coffee. The “glow” she’s referring to must be the sweat I feel all over my body. At least I won’t be cold walking to school today.

Oh boy, am I wrong. I’m only a few houses down when the shivers hit me. I carry my bag in one hand at my side because I don’t have the strength to lift it. Wrapping my other arm around my stomach does nothing to stop the chill. I don’t think I’m far enough from home to pull out Max’s hoodie yet, but I’m so cold, I can’t stop shivering.

When my house is finally out of view, I drop my bag and open it, but quickly see I must have left it at home. I just hope it’s nowhere my mother can replace it. Dammit!

Shivering, I zip up my bag and basically drag it beside me. When I reach my usual meeting point with the twins, I notice they aren’t here yet. I check my phone—it’s only ten after six. I’m really early today. I’m not sure how that’s possible when I’m so much slower than usual.

I plop down, untie my hair to help keep me warm, and wrap my arms around my legs, pulling them to my chest. Resting my forehead on my knees, I close my eyes. I must fall asleep because the next thing I know, I’m waking up as my body is gently jostled and instinctively I start to struggle.

“Shh, Angel, it’s just me.” I calm instantly at the sound of Jasper’s voice and give myself a moment to look at his beautiful face as he carries me to the truck. He looks down at me with sad eyes. Why is he sad? I stroke his cheek and give him a small smile.

As he places me in the truck, Max pulls me to his side. “Good morning, Sweetheart. Are you okay? Were you sleeping out there? That’s really dangerous, you shouldn’t let your guard down like that out in public.” When I look at him with an apology in my eyes, he sighs before looking back at the road.

“Why are you so tired, anyway? Did somebody keep you up late?” I blush, remembering our conversation last night. I still can’t believe I did that. I didn’t even know I had it in me. It turns out Google is a great resource for dirty talk, among other things.

“I still think you should let me see that conversation,” Jasper grumbles as he crosses his arms over his chest. I shoot my gaze to Max, then shake my head quickly.

Max laughs. “I don’t kiss and tell, brother.”

“Hmm, maybe you don’t, but my Angel wouldn’t deny me anything, would you, Mina?” Jasper turns his big puppy-dog eyes on me as he grabs my hand and softly strokes the back of it with his thumb. I want to shake my head, but that conversation is so embarrassing. What was I thinking?

“Angel?” He starts to stick his bottom lip out in a pout, and I throw my free hand over my eyes as Max bursts out laughing.

“Angel. Please? Max and I share everything. It’s killing me not knowing.” He leans forward and slowly runs his nose up the column of my throat, making me swallow my suddenly parched throat.

“Please, Angel?” he asks again, giving me a soft kiss on my neck, which sends sparks of desire coursing through my entire body. He moves his lips up an inch and kisses again.

“What do you say, Angel? Can I read it?” He gently kisses up my neck to my cheek and places the last kiss at the edge of my mouth. I swallow and try to keep myself composed.

“Say yes, and I’ll give you a thank-you kiss.”

My breath hitches and I can hear Max laughing behind me, but it’s just background noise at this point. I nod my head, staring into Jasper’s gorgeous green eyes as I lick my lips in anticipation. He places a hand on my cheek, using his thumb to tilt my head up as his smile turns heated. He leans closer and finally, he presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes and my heart races so fast I swear he can hear it. The moment his lips touch mine, the world tilts. The kiss is soft and warm, but electric at the same time, like every nerve in my body has been waiting for this. My mind is a mess—half disbelief that this is actually happening, half wondering why I waited so long to do this. It’s sweet, tentative, but there’s a spark that sets my skin on fire.

All too soon, he pulls back and I open my eyes to see him smiling at me. His eyes filled with warmth, heat, and satisfaction.

Oh. My. God. He kissed me! My first real kiss. It was brief but holy moly! I take a few deep breaths as I try to make sure this memory is etching in my mind for the rest of my life. I never want to forget what that felt like. It was way better than I ever imagined it would be.

I watch as Jasper starts rummaging through my bag, grabbing my phone as I flop back against the seat and fan my heated face.

“You alright there, Sweetheart?” Max asks, grinning.

I glance at him and nod. I’m not cold anymore, that’s for sure. I pinch the front of my shirt and move it up and down, trying to get some cold air to the rest of my body. I swear I must be overheating. That was a great kiss, but I shouldn’t be this warm.

I remember how I was sweating at home this morning and internally groan. I might be getting a fever, maybe I really am sick. My mind drifts to my arm. Could the infection be causing this? How bad did it look this morning? I can’t remember—did I even clean it? I’m not sure. My head is starting to feel a little foggy as I try to remember anything I did this morning before Jasper’s kiss.

“Holy shit, guys.” My eyes snap open. I don’t even remember closing them. Jasper is holding my phone, staring at me like he doesn’t recognize me.

“This is the hottest thing I’ve ever read!” My eyes bulge as I realize he’s reading my conversation with Max. I try to grab the phone, but he pulls it out of reach.

“Uh-uh, Mina, you gave me permission, remember?”

I stop reaching and furrow my eyebrows. I did? Ugh. I sit back again and close my eyes. They both laugh, and Jasper keeps making remarks as he reads. I don’t remember it being that long.

The cold suddenly overtakes me again as I wrap my arms around myself to stop from shivering.

When I open my eyes, we’re pulling into a parking spot at the school. I sit up and hold out my palm for my phone. He hands it to me with a smile.

“You have a few missed texts from the guys,” he informs me.

I nod and follow him out of the truck. He grabs my hand while Max takes my other one, leading me to class.

“Mina, Mina, Sweetheart, wake up.” I open my eyes to Max’s concerned gaze. I lift my head from where I’m apparently napping on my desk in math class.

“Are you okay?”

I nod, unsure if I should tell him about the fever. It’s not like he can do anything about it.

“Class is over. Let’s get you to Jasper, shall we?”

I nod as I stand.

“Hey, guys, what’s going on?” Jasper asks, entering the class, clearly tired of waiting for us in the hall.

“Sleeping Beauty here took a nap, so she’s a bit out of it right now.”

I stick my tongue out at Max.

“Don’t show me that unless you’re willing to use it,” Max says in a husky voice, sending a shiver down my spine as my eyes widen at his taunt. I bite my lip as Jasper takes my bag and my hand. We say goodbye to Max and head to chemistry.

Second period goes much like the first. Jasper keeps trying to wake me, promising I can sleep at lunch. I decide to go to the bathroom to splash water on my face and check out my arm.

As I round the corner to the hall where the bathrooms are, a body suddenly pushes me back into the lockers, pressing against my front. My hands shoot up between us, trying to push him away. I look up and meet Brad’s cold eyes.

My body shakes in fear. What is with this guy? I thought he’d moved on from bothering me. Why is he obsessed with me? I’m nothing special.

“It’s hard to replace you without the dipshit twins around,” he says, stroking a finger down my cheek. I turn my head away and try to push him back, but he doesn’t budge—he just presses in closer. Memories of other times I’ve been trapped by a man like this flood into my mind and tears sting my eyes as I struggle against him.

I hear voices coming around the corner, and suddenly he pulls back. “This isn’t over,” he whispers angrily before taking off.

Caught in the edge of a panic attack, I slide down the locker, wrapping my arms around my knees and dropping my face, trying to stop the tears from falling. The voices grow louder, laughter and chatter echoing down the hall.

“I know, I know! And then he was—Hey… Mina?”

I recognize the voice but can’t place it. A small hand touches my shoulder, and I sense someone kneeling beside me.

“Mina, are you okay?”

Peeking up, I see Alex, the girl with blue hair who’s always been inexplicably kind to me. She turns to her friends. “You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up with you.”

As her friends continue down the hall, she focuses on me again. “Hey, are you alright? What’s wrong?”

I close my eyes tightly and hide my face again as tears spill out.

“Okay, okay, the office is right around the corner. I’ll go get your guidance counselor, alright?”

Gideon. Yes, I wanted him right now. He was safe. I nod, and she gives my shoulder a soft squeeze before running down the hall.

I sit there, wondering why I can’t pull myself together. Maybe it’s the fever. Maybe it’s the weight of all my secrets. Or maybe it’s the overwhelming thought of yet another man believing he has the right to touch me.

It can’t have been more than a minute before I hear footsteps rushing back down the hall.

“Mina? Mina, what’s wrong?” Gideon’s hands are on me, and when I look up to meet his eyes, his expression softens at the sight of my face.

He pauses for a moment before saying, “we only have a couple minutes before the halls fill with students. Let’s get you out of here, okay?”

I nod.

“Can you stand?”

I hesitate, knowing he shouldn’t be seen carrying me through the school, but I feel so weak. He seems to sense my hesitation.

“Miss Harris, can you go to room 108 and let Jasper know she’s with me? Then you can head to lunch. I’ll make sure she’s okay,” he says, turning to Alex before looking back down at me.

She nods and hurries off around the corner. My shoulders drop with relief at her leaving. I like her, but I don’t know her well enough to want her to see me like this.

Once she’s out of sight, Gideon cups my face gently as he whispers, “alright, Love, let’s get you to our home, shall we?”

I nod, and he lifts me into his arms, carrying me bridal style. I rest my head against his chest, seeking the safety of his embrace.

The slam of a car door jolts me awake.

“What’s going on? Is she okay?”

I open my eyes and notice Tucker in the driver’s seat of an unfamiliar vehicle. I’m curled up in Gideon’s lap beside him.

“I’m not sure,” Gideon replies. “She was found sitting on the floor in the hall, crying, so I got her out of there as fast as I could. She’s responsive when she’s not asleep, though, so I think she’ll be okay. Help me buckle us in.”

The seatbelt clicks as it’s secured around both of us and I glance up into Gideon’s beautiful hazel eyes and take a deep breath.

I’m safe now.

“Hey, Love, are you okay?” he asks.

I nod and allow myself to snuggle into his chest as his arms wrap around me.

“Alright, let’s get you home. Tuck?”

“Yeah, alright, I’ll get us home. Have you texted the others?”

“I’ll do it now,” he says as he pulls out his phone.

That’s the last thing I remember before sleep claims me again.