I did not see that coming. Seriously. What the fuck just happened? I leave Kitten alone for one game, and all of a sudden my mama and my girl are mostly drunk and the best of friends. And yeah, I know she’s not technically my girl yet, but that’s the goal.

Hindsight being 20/20, I can see how this all shook out. The team has a chunk of freebie tickets that we’re allotted for home games. We each get two for every game; more, if we ask. I gave Kitten the ticket for the empty seat that my mama usually fills with one of her friends. Mama always has the ticket for the seat next to it, but she was supposed to be out of town tonight. When I spent the whole national anthem staring at Kitten, there was no one next to her. And later in the game, whenever I’d look over at her, I clearly didn’t notice that Mama had arrived.

I’m kicking myself for not noticing, but I was a little busy playing hockey.

Honestly, I can’t even blame Kitten for telling Mama about our evening together. Mama has this witchy way about her that gets you to spill all your best-kept secrets. She already knows pretty much all of my embarrassing stories, so there’s nothing that Kitten could’ve told her about us that could even be close to over the line.

But seeing my mama, in this setting, being introduced to me by Kitten . . . I was totally caught off guard. And I could’ve handled the shock in a better manner. I’m usually a pretty smooth guy. But from the moment I entered the bar, I’ve been presenting a bad image to Kitten.

First, as soon as I walked in the door, chatting with my teammate Luke Anders, a pair of bunnies appeared at our sides trying to get our attention. So, by the time I saw Kitten approaching me, there was already a woman trying to plaster herself to me. Not my fault, but I’m thinking that might have been my Strike One.

Then Kitten surprises me with that glorious hug. I was not prepared for that level of contact. And feeling her warm, soft body pressed against mine had my brain going haywire. Then she goes and hums sweet nothings into my ear… or something about meeting a friend, who knows? … because all I could focus on was the brush of her lips across my cheek as she spoke. When she grabbed my hand and started walking, she could’ve been leading me to my own execution. I would’ve followed her anywhere after a whisper from those lips.

Then as she tugged me along, I looked down. At her ass. And – sweet merciful god – what an ass. The only other time I’ve seen her, she was in a dress. I could tell she had a great ass, the type you want to caress when she kisses you and spank when she sasses you. But the dress she’d been wearing only gave a hint as to what she was hiding. But tonight, those jeans she has on? … they fucking outline her assets in detail.

Realizing that I was staring, and that the sight was starting to turn me on in what would soon be a very obvious way, I had to get a hold of myself. When she happened to turn around, I was looking to the heavens, the furthest point from her tempting rear end, trying to mentally recite one of my mama’s many lectures about respecting women. Of course – to her – I’m sure I just looked annoyed, or mad, or some other unpleasant emotion. I did my best to play it off, but I’m thinking that was my Strike Two.

With my mama’s lectures still in my mind, imagine my surprise when Kitten’s friend is my very own mother-freaking Mama. It doesn’t take too long after that little introduction before Kitten bolts. I’m thinking she’ll go spend some time at the bar to recover from her obvious panic, and when she comes back hopefully the two of us can sneak away for some alone time.

“Jacky, honey, you gotta know that I was just trying to look out for you, and that’s why I didn’t tell her who I was.

“I know, Mama, and I appreciate the thought. But I’m sure it didn’t take the entire game to see that she’s a nice girl.”

“Oh, she really is. I think I’m half in love with her myself! I mean, we only got to spend a little bit of time together, but I can already tell that she would be the perfect fit for you.”

“Take it easy, Mama. It’s been one day.”

“I know. I know. But even after two years I never felt like this about Lacy. It took a long time before we were able to see her for the icy bitch that she was, but even when she was hiding her true personality, I never did like her. Katelyn though… that beautiful girl is made of pure gold. And she’s so much fun!”

“Seriously, Mama?” I ask. “Why would you even mention her right now?” Pinching the bridge of my nose as I close my eyes and will the Lacy-induced headache away. Talking about that vile woman is the last fucking thing I want to add to this evening.

Opening my eyes, I look over to see Kitten staring right at me. I drop my hand but I’m sure she just witnessed my nose-pinched-in-anger expression. And I’m sure she’s making the wrong conclusions. Damn it. I’m thinking this is my Strike Three.

I’m only half-listening to what my mama is saying at this point, because now I’m watching Katelyn approach my buddy Luke. What the fuck? She taps his shoulder and says something to him, causing him to plaster on one of his panty-melting smiles, his phrase not mine.

My mouth pops open when I see her grab the drink from his hand and throw it back like a shot. Now his hand is on her shoulder, and my vision starts to narrow.

He’s leaning in way too close, talking with his lips basically against her ear.

What. The. Fuck.

Luke glances at me, then as he straightens to full his height, he drags the tips of his fingers down her arm.

Seriously, what the fuck!

As she starts to walk away, I see him fold something and put it in his pocket. Luke might be one of my best friends, but tonight he’s a fucking dead man.

“Mama, I’ll be right back.” I don’t even wait to acknowledge that she heard me before I stomp off.

I watch Kitten walk toward the back of the room, but I need to deal with this Luke situation before it goes any further. I didn’t fill him in on the details of how I know her, but I know he saw her hug me when we walked in the door. That should have been enough to invoke bro-code. But since it apparently wasn’t, I’m about to make it crystal clear.

“Luke!” The bar is so loud I have to shout his name to get his attention.

Turning toward me, Luke gives a satisfied smirk before he says, “Hey, brother, what’s up?”

Getting right in his face, I seethe, “How about you tell me. What the fuck were you doing with your filthy hands all over Katelyn? And what the fuck is in your pocket?”

“Woah, dude, chill!” Luke puts his hands up in placation. “Who the hell is Katelyn?”

“Who is . . . seriously? The woman you were just talking to. You had your greasy palms on her while you were breathing down her neck.”

“Oh, you mean that brunette chick? The one with the nice ass?”

That comment forces me to take a step closer, putting us chest to chest. We’re about the same height, but I have several pounds of muscle on him. This should feel like the stare down that it is.

I lean in. “If you lay so much as a finger on her ass, I will break it off, so help me god.”

Luke holds my eyes for a beat before throwing an arm around my shoulder and breaking out in laughter. For not the first time tonight, I don’t know how to react. I think the best course of action right now is to do nothing. So, I just stand there. Like an idiot. Wondering what the fuck is happening to my life.

With actual tears of hilarity rolling down his face, Luke gets himself together enough to form words. “Holy shit, dude, I wish I had someone recording that! Talk about going all caveman over a woman!” More laughter. “I had about ten seconds to cook up that plan, and it couldn’t have worked any better. My man, you just got played so hard.” Patting me on the chest, Luke shakes his head.

“What?” I ask, not hiding my confusion. “What are you talking about? Am I dreaming? Is it a full moon out tonight?”

“Naw, man, your girl there just asked me to delay you for a bit.”

“Delay me? What for?”

He shrugs. “She wanted to sneak out without you stopping her.”

“What the fuck! She left?” I turn to try to chase her down, but Luke stops me with a hand on my arm.

“Dude, she’s gone. Sorry, but she was stressing out and just wanted to get out of here.” Reaching his hand in his pocket he pulls out a twenty and unfolds it. There’s nothing written on it. “She even gave me this to pay for my drink that she slammed. And to pay me for the hassle of stopping you, if you can believe that.”

I take the offered twenty from him. It’s clearly implied I should give it back to her. “Did she say why she was leaving?”

“She mentioned something about your mom being here, and you being pissed. And that she didn’t want to be – and I quote – ‘told off’ in public.”

Rubbing a hand down my face, I groan in frustration. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yep.”

“Fuck off, man.” My shoulders slump in defeat. “I wasn’t pissed at her. And I’d never tell her off over any of this. I just wanted to spend time with her, but somehow I manage to mess up at every opportunity.”

“Yeah, well, you are a big dumb animal.” Luke yelps and jumps back as I go to punch his arm. “Kidding! Jeez! Damn, that girl has you wound up tight. I saw you watching us and knew what you’d be thinking. And I do love screwing with you, but – above all – if a woman asks me to help her leave a situation, I’ll never say no.”

“I wish I could be mad about that, but I think that would make me an asshole.”

Luke nods his agreement. “Want to tell me who she is?”

“As much as I’d love to sit here and gossip with you, my mama’s still in here somewhere. I need to go replace her, then I’m calling it a night.”

“What are you gonna do about your girl?”

Rubbing my thumb across my bottom lip, I think for a moment, “I have a plan.”

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