Fiona

I was reading in the armchair next to Grandfather’s bed for a while before he woke. I was very comfortable. He was snoring lightly, and the sound reminded me of my childhood, times past when he would doze off on the couch at my parents’ house after holiday dinners.

When I heard the change in his breathing I knew Grandfather was waking up. I made a mental note of the page number I was leaving off in my book and set it aside.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” I smiled as he blinked his eyes open. When he realized who I was, a huge smile

transformed every inch of his face into an expression of pure joy.

“My dear granddaughter,” he said in a hoarse whisper.

“Hi, Grandfather. Sorry to surprise you so early in the morning.”

He moved his hand and I reached to hold it. His skin was cold to the touch, soft and slack. I covered the back of it with my other hand, trying to press some warmth into him.

“No better surprise than to wake up to see the beautiful face of someone you love.”

I squeezed his hand. “Can I get you anything? Drink of water?”

He nodded, closing his eyes, and I headed to the kitchenette for a cup of water. Behind me I heard sounds of movement from the bed, and when I turned back around, the linens were all askew. A blanket slithered to the floor. “Let me. Please.” I offered Grandfather the water cup in exchange for the project of arranging the pillows and blankets, getting him set up to sit comfortably upright.

Grandfather nodded, averting his eyes. No matter how long he continued daily life in this condition, I knew this once-proud man still struggled with the humiliation of needing help with tasks like this.

He pulled the cup from his lips and suddenly said,

“Fiona. You are with child.”

I chuckled, resting my hands on my belly. “Yes, I am.

You’re going to be a great-grandfather.”

“Oh, my dear. You will be a wonderful mother.” He reached his hand back out to me and I held it gratefully. A big smile spread across my face, feeling foreign in its absolute sincerity. Grandfather shook my hand excitedly. Tears pooled in his eyes, swelled and spilled over, sliding through the craggy topography of his face.

“Don’t cry.” I patted his cheeks dry. I did already tell him I was pregnant when I visited my grandfather on my wedding day, but I certainly didn’t expect him to remember.

“Oh, they’re happy tears.” He shook my hand vigorously once more, then dropped it. “It makes an old man happy to hear his family is living on, will carry on his legacy.”

I kept control of my face, continuing to smile. But these words made me very sad indeed. My

Grandfather’s legacy had already been destroyed by his own son.

And, I mused internally, even if my father hadn’t ruined the reputation of the Red Moon Pack, which had been the work of my grandfather’s lifetime, I was estranged from my family now. I could never return. I would never be welcome or safe in my father’s pack again. I was no longer a Red Moon Luna, and my baby would have no association with my grandfather’s name.

“Is that big man still treating you well?” Grandfather asked, surprising me. “It was so lovely of you two to visit me on your wedding day. Tell me, is he still good to you? Does he treat you kindly?”

“Is that big man still treating you well?” Grandfather asked, surprising me. “It was so lovely of you two to visit me on your wedding day. Tell me, is he still good

to you? Does he treat you kindly?”

Telling my grandfather little white lies had become habit, and usually didn’t trouble me. But this felt like a hard lie to tell, especially when his eyes, so rarely like this, were looking into mine with clear, sharp understanding, shining crystal blue in the morning light. I hesitated.

A sad look fell over his face. “You deserve to be treated well, Fiona.”

I pressed my lips together and nodded. “Thank you, Grandfather. I know.”

“You have done me proud. You have achieved so much.”

I smiled, delighted to be carrying on such a coherent conversation with my grandfather.

“You are strong, Fiona. Smart. And beautiful. You deserve the best. Do not let that man tell you otherwise.” He clasped my hand again, looking down at it and squeezing tight. Uncomfortably tight. “Only now, too late, I see how I failed him. I taught him how to fight, but I didn’t teach him how to love.”

Grandfather met my eyes again. The crystal sharpness I’d seen in his only moments ago was now gone. A veil had fallen down behind them, leaving them gray and unfocused.

“Don’t let him hurt you, Fiona.” His voice warbled, sounding frightened.

“I won’t, Grandfather.” I leaned over and pulled him in for a tight hug. “I’m safe. We’re both safe. You have nothing to worry about. Everything is okay.

Everything’s going to be alright.”

Nina, who I’d been texting throughout the morning, offered to pick me up and give me a ride back to the palace. I happily agreed. I knew she’d bought a car recently but I hadn’t seen it yet. “It’s a surprise,” she said when I asked what kind of car it was.

Surprise was right.

Nina rolled up in a sleek, shiny silver Mercedes Benz.

The sunlight gleamed across its smooth curves as the car pulled around the parking lot and eased to a stop in front of me.

The tinted front passenger window slid down, revealing my smiling friend in the driver’s seat. I stormed the door. “Are you kidding me, Nina?”

She grinned. “Get in, girl! Come take a ride.”

Nina cruised out of the parking lot while I gawked, wide-eyed, at the fine details of the car’s interior, tracing the tight seams of the leather with my fingertips. It wasn’t like I’d never been inside a luxury vehicle. That was par for the course now that I lived at the palace. But being chauffeured around in someone else’s fancy car is very different from owning one.

I turned the radio down. “Nina, this is awesome.”

“Thank you. It’s been a long time coming.” Her hair today was longer than I’d ever seen it, worn down in loose waves. It was a very pale, shiny seafoam green color. She looked like a mermaid.

“So I take it the new gig is going well, then?”

“It’s serving its purpose, that’s for sure. I didn’t buy the car outright. Got enough together for a good down payment, though. It’s nice, huh?”

“Nice is an understatement, I think.”

Nina maneuvered through some traffic on the highway, then got us onto a country road that wove through a beautiful, wooded area and edged us vaguely in the direction of the palace. It was a gorgeous route, and Nina was a good driver.

She told me about her job at the club and the kind of cash she was making. I was stunned. “I wanted to get the car first,” she said, confident and matter-of-fact.

“New apartment is next. That spot I’m at now, sheesh…”

“The walk up those stairs nearly killed me last time. I don’t think I could do that again.”

“This is one of my main concerns. Plus, I have a pigeon infestation.”

I laughed so hard that I snorted. “What? I’m sorry –

pigeons?”

“Yes. I’m essentially living in the building’s attic, and the pigeons have moved into the roof. They’re not actually inside my apartment, but I hear them up there. All day. Noisy little jerks.”

I buried my face in my hands to stifle my laughter. “I’m so sorry. It’s rude to laugh. I’m living a very privileged life right now, myself.”

“You can laugh. It’s funny. And I’ll get out of there soon. You know I just never wanted to live off my family’s money. Came with too many strings attached.

It’s taken a while to make my own way, but I’m making it happen.”

Nina didn’t press me about Alexander, waiting instead for me to bring up the subject myself. I appreciated that.

“I guess at some point, I have to stop avoiding him,” I admitted. “I just needed some space, after what he did…”

“And you totally have a right to do that,” Nina replied supportively.

“But I suppose I have to just get over it. I can endure anything, you know? It’s just a few more months that I’ll be staying with Alexander. I need him close while I’m pregnant, that’s a fact. And I can’t help but feel responsible to him, as his Luna.”

Nina sighed. “I wish you didn’t have to endure anything that makes you feel bad, Fi.”

“What made me feel bad was that I’d started trusting him. I got too comfortable. I just need to keep my guard up from now on, and not give him another chance to hurt me.”

“Easier said than done.” Nina shot me a doubtful look.

“You know, Grandfather said something interesting this morning. I mean, he was confused, but… he started talking about my father, and said something that got me thinking.”

“What’d he say?”

“He said that he taught my father how to fight, but not how to love.”

Nina frowned, but didn’t respond.

“And I guess that’s what my own father turned around and did for me,” I continued. “Taught me to fight.

Taught me to be a good Luna. Taught me nothing about love. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I’d know how to do it.”

Nina kept her eyes on the road. “Maybe love is overrated,” she said. “Maybe it’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

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