The Alpha’s Rejected And Broken Mate
Chapter 115

Clarissa

POV

The castle was massive, immense, with twists and turns everywhere. I found myself in the library of all places, perusing the books and occasionally dusting off some of them as I brought them out from the shelves to glance at. Alpha Rowan was now recovered from his ordeal, or so he had assured me and Amber was spending the day with her mate Stefan, who was not well pleased with Rowan it seemed. both of them having the same mate bond with Amber. I was surprised to discover she had multiple mates but even more shocked by her special wolf.

I spared a thought for my darling daughter Sophie and felt the rage rekindle inside of me again. She should still be alive today. Should still be pregnant and expecting. It wasn't fair that she had been taken from me. She was too young to have died and every day I blamed myself for what had happened. If I hadn't insisted on her marrying that low-life son of a b***h Darius, then maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe Sophie would be married to a man that loved her and is expecting his child now, instead of buried far below the earth, with her corpse rotting away.

I huffed and slammed a book back into the shelf and glanced around the library. It was empty of people, besides myself, and I took the opportunity to sit down in a comfortable armchair and glance out the window, taking stock of the children playing out on the grounds, laughing happily and kicking a ball around. I could see the forest in the distance and I swallowed hard, feeling an intense desire to go for a run.

But I had a secret. One that I was ashamed of. Since my marriage with that awful Beta Mathew, I hadn't been able to shift. I hadn't heard my wolf's voice in years. I didn't even know if I could shift. But the longing was there, and I found myself yearning to feel the earth beneath my paws, to see the scenery passing by in a blur, to run so fast that I was almost impossible to see. To immerse myself in nature.

I got to my feet and as if I was on autopilot, I began to walk downstairs, towards the front entrance of the castle. The guards gave me a friendly smile, something I had gotten used to since I'd been here. I had been expecting hostility and anger directed at me for being a shifter, but to my surprise, the vampires tended to be very accepting of our kind. If only shifters could show the same amount of hospitality towards the other races, I thought idly, how much better this world would be.

I walked across the grounds, as if in a trance, careful to avoid walking into any of the children running amok outside. I was barefoot but it didn't matter, the grass feeling soft and lush beneath my feet. Birds chirped overhead and the trees swayed back and forth in the breeze. I could smell the scent of pine, and dirt and I inhaled it greedily, closing my eyes in bliss.

The forest was quiet, besides the chattering of birds and the patrol other than giving me a curious glance, left me alone as I stood there, surveying the trees and smelling the woods. My hands clenched into fists. I so badly wanted to run, but did I have it in me? Or would it be foolish to even try? What if my wolf was gone completely? I would look a fool but something in me refused to listen to the mocking and taunting voice in my head, tuning it out completely.

I began to lift my dress over my head, folding it neatly and placing it aside on a small stump nearby. I undid the clasp on my bra next and placed that with my dress and then slowly slid out of my panties, placing them neatly with my other clothes. I was naked now, and vulnerable. I shivered slightly as the wind picked up. Out of habit, I tried once more to reach my wolf Desiree but there was nothing but silence. If my wolf was there, it was impossible to tell.

I closed my eyes and concentrated, hard, picturing myself turning into a wolf, willing the sounds of broken limbs shifting and readjusting to come to my ears. Initially, nothing happened and I felt a wave of disappointment crash over me. I stifled a sob, my hands clenching into fists, so hard that my nails drew blood which trickled down my hands and onto the forest floor. I fell to my knees, my hands covering my face, and sobbed, desperate to have the wolf back that I had lost so long ago. Mathew had taken everything from me. My dignity, my respect, and now my wolf. Was there anything that he had left me?

"Please" I began to sob, looking upwards at the clear blue sky, beseeching the goddess "please, bring Desiree back to me. I never wanted to lose her. She's a part of me, my other half, my soul."

I felt tears trailing down my cheeks, my hands scrabbling into the earth, and desperation rising within me. "I don't deserve this" I shouted out, anger in my voice "do you have any idea what I've been through? How much I've had to endure? How much more must I suffer?"

Silence. My shoulders slumped in defeat and then to my astonishment, I heard the merest whisper in my mind, a female voice from long ago.

You may have suffered but so have I. Why did you let me go, Clarissa? Why didn't you fight back?

I made a mistake Desiree and I've paid dearly for it. I never wanted you to leave Desiree, please believe me.

I believe you, but this time I won't allow you to ignore me and pretend I don't exist. If you wish for me to remain, say it now, or else I'll go and leave you forever.

I want you to stay Desiree! I can't live without you.

I pleaded with my wolf. She gave a harrumph and then I felt the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life. I heard my bones breaking in the foreground, as I let out a horrific scream, my whole body trembling in pain, as they began to readjust themselves. It was reminiscent of the first time I had shifted and I thought to myself idly, that the pain was no doubt due to not having shifted for many, many years.

Just as suddenly the pain faded and then was completely gone. I blinked, watching everything come into focus, able to see easily for miles. I glanced down and saw paws instead of legs, silver ones. I could have wept for joy. I had turned into my wolf, for the first time in years and I felt a longing to run. My paws thudded across the ground and the trees passed by in a blur as I explored the forest and the vampire King's territory. We drank from a stream, and I let my wolf take over as we hunted a nearby buck, killing him and eating him in order to satiate our hunger and our need to hunt.

When I was tired, I took a nap beneath a nearby tree, curling up much like a cat, my soft snores filling the forest. It was the first time I had slept in ages and I slept well, hours passed before I woke back up, startled to see that the sun was now fading and the moon was coming up. I stretched, feeling hungry, and began to trot towards home, reluctant to go back to my human form and knowing that I must. Amber must be worried sick, I thought, for I hadn't thought to tell her where I was going, let alone what I was going to attempt to do.

I sighed. I didn't know what I was going to do. I couldn't just continue to impose on Amber and Stefan. Especially since they were having some difficulties due to Alpha Rowan's presence. But I also had nowhere else to go. Mathew had finally been served the divorce papers but was apparently unwilling to sign them, which meant I had to get my lawyer involved some more.

The moon was shining overhead as we made our way back to where I had left my clothes. Desiree was excited, chatting a mile a minute as I listened with a smile. I would never get sick of my wolf's voice, I decided, not when it had been missing for so long. It was a little strange though, hearing another voice in my head and one that I would have to get used to once again. I promised her that we would go for a run in the next few days, perhaps with Amber if she was willing. I was keen to see my daughter's wolf in action and the powers she had.

Brrr, it was getting cold outside and I began to concentrate, closing my eyes and envisioning myself in my human form, from my long blonde hair to my blue eyes and slender frame. My bones began to crack and shift, thankfully the process not taking as long as earlier, nor was it as painful, instead it was merely an aching feeling thank goodness. I slid my panties back on and then struggled to do up the clasp on my bra. My dress was thrown haphazardly over my head and then I was about to turn and walk towards the castle when I smelt the most delicious scent wafting towards me.

It smelled like gingerbread, one of my favorite scents of all time. It was one of the reasons I adored Christmas time. But who on earth would be baking gingerbread at this late hour, I thought a bit astounded. Not to mention it was a subtle scent, one that seemed to be floating amongst the trees, rather than coming from the grounds. I sniffed it appreciatively, my mouth watering at the aroma. My heart began to thump loudly in my chest and my hands began to tremble. My body was having some sort of reaction to whatever this scent was! My wolf was going berserk, prancing around wildly in my head. I wondered what the hell was happening to me.

There was the sound of leaves crunching nearby and the sounds of twigs breaking, as someone made their way towards me, heedless of the debris on the forest floor. My body tensed and then the most beautiful man I had ever seen came crashing into view. I sucked in a breath, unable to breathe properly, my eyes raking over him. He was tall and slender, but with muscled arms and legs. He had the silkiest and most stunning-looking raven-black hair and dark green eyes which were glowing slightly. He was pale, but that was to be expected considering that he had to be a vampire.

I gaped. He stared back, looking at me just as intensely. Both of us were speechless. I had never dreamed of this happening to me. Not again. Not after being with Mathew. I had no words. My mouth opened and shut, but nothing came out. The man ran a hand through his hair, making it disheveled as he regarded me steadily. He looked surprised but not displeased, I noted, so he wasn't too upset at discovering that his mate was a shifter. Instead, he looked nervous and apprehensive. I swallowed hard. "Hello" he finally spoke in a smooth and charming voice "what might be your name?" he asked me, in a soft and musical tone of voice that sounded like small silver bells chiming.

"I'm Clarissa" I stammered. I felt so awkward standing there, but to my shock he seemed to recover his composure and walked over to me, reaching out to take ahold of my hand and giving it a squeeze. Sparks flew between us and I found myself examining his lips, wondering what they would taste like and wondering if he would kiss me.

"Well Clarissa," he said teasingly "my name is Dylan and it's a pleasure to meet you."