The Alpha's Shatter Zone
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Shadows danced across the ceiling, the trees outside her window swaying in the breeze as the moon shone light on the movement. Chesca stared at them, wishing she would fall asleep. For the tenth time this hour, she rolled over again, replaceing it impossible to replace a comfy position. Why couldn’t she just fall asleep? Her body was tired, she could feel it aching for rest, but her mind just couldn’t seem to settle. Or was it the other way around? Was her mind trying too desperately to forget a certain fact, while her body could just sense her mate—her mate—sleeping a few dozen yards away in another room? Her wolf just wouldn’t settle down but it seemed every time Chesca came close to dropping off, her wolf would poke her between the eyes and tell her how stupid she was being.

Just shut it and let me sleep! She shouted in her mind.

10 minutes later she rolled over onto her stomach and put her head under the pillow. She couldn’t get a certain pair of brown eyes out of her head. They kept dancing in her vision, taunting her, daring her, smirking as if they knew something she didn’t.

She screamed into the mattress and kicked her legs like a spoilt little girl. She hated this weird emotion and didn’t know what to do with it.

Chesca eventually jumped out of bed and paced the carpet, aware of the bedside clock reading 2am. Her feet carried her to the door but she quickly turned before her hand reached the knob. She hurried to the window and scolded herself. Staring out at the softly falling snowflakes, she tried to formulate a plan. How could one man affect her like this? Muddling her brain and making her so confused? She could guess the answer on one hand but refused to admit it.

Maaaate...

She squeezed her eyes shut before looking back out at the forest that normally calmed her. Whenever she had an important pack decision to make, or when she was stressed out, or frustrated at her guards, she’d go for a run through the woods and pound out her pent up emotions. She wondered what it would be like running with her mate, and if he’d be able to keep up with her—

Gah! She was still thinking about him!

Sagging her shoulders in a show of surrender, she plodded to her door and softly opened it. She’d just check on him, make sure he’d found his room ok and was safe. Like anything here could be dangerous for a big tough Alpha male, she reasoned with herself. Still, maybe he was cold? And needed an extra blanket?

Whatever, something was drawing her to him and she knew she wouldn’t sleep until she’d at least checked on him.

Rounding the last corner, she saw his door was open slightly and tiptoed up to it. Peering through, she saw his messy bed, but he was nowhere in sight. She could smell him though, a mixture of freshly cut grass and earthy tones, with a hint of pine needles? She shook her head, amused at her own ridiculousness.

Stepping into the room, she finally spotted him standing by the window, looking out, his back to her. His bare back. He turned slightly, and she saw the moonlight play against his toned chest. His abs were flawless, and she couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her lips.

He looked over and spied her before she stumbled from the room, her cheeks heating up. She was halfway down the hall when he called out softly.

“Chesca?”

She screwed up her face in embarrassment before turning, calmness and steely indifference once more on her face. “Yes? I-I was just…”

“You came to see me?” he slowly walked towards her.

“I couldn’t sleep and just- just wanted to make sure you were ok ...that’s all.”

His mouth turned up in a half-grin. The faint light falling from the overhead skylights illuminated his features, and she couldn’t remember a more good-looking guy. Scratch that—he was hot, that’s all there was to it. The fact he was only wearing boxers wasn’t helping any. A black leather cord hung around his neck, and a shiny metal arrow pendant sat in the middle, resting on his chest. She pulled her eyes further up back to his face.

“I couldn’t sleep, either,” he raked a hand through his messy black hair, his arm muscles bulging with the action. She couldn’t tear her eyes away no matter how hard she tried.

“Oh uhh, why not? A-are you ok?” She stuttered foolishly. “Is the bed not comfy—“

“Chesca, I think you know why.” He came closer still, and she was replaceing it hard to breathe evenly and think rationally. He reached out his arm and brushed his fingers down her shoulder to her elbow before she realised and stepped back.

“No.”

“No what?” He looked confused, his gaze locked on hers.

“Just don’t. I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work,” she turned to go.

“Chesca, please, you can’t fight it any more than I can!”

“Yes I can. I’m not a strong Alpha for nothing. I will not let you play me.”

“What do you mean? I’m just—“

“You’re trying to seduce me and get me in bed. Then after we’re mated, you’re going to rightfully take control of my pack.”

“What? No, I didn’t—“

“Don’t lie to me. You just want this pack, but I will never give it up.” Yes, she finally had her reasoning back. Her mind was working overtime trying to figure him out, and she’d succeeded. “Not even for my mate,” she growled on that last word.

“What’s so important about your pack anyway?” he grabbed her arm.

“Don’t touch me,” she wrenched free and spun on her heel.

“Chesca, please…”

But she didn’t hear him. She marched straight back to her rooms, only realising once she’d reached the door that she was wearing her shortest strappy nightie. How stupid could she be? She jumped into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.

It was going to be a long night.

The cool morning air did wonders for her splitting headache, and the way the snow crunched beneath her running shoes always seemed to calm her down. Chesca ran through the trees along her favorite trail, turning at the massive oak before sketching across the ridge that passed between two slopes. The view was incredible as it stretched out to the northern mountain region. For a few metres the trees were clear and she looked out over the white tips of pines. Then she was once more weaving between the trees and fallen trunks and complex thoughts that kept flitting across her aching mind.

Despite getting hot from the exercise, she shivered and decided to shift. It was always easier to keep her balance in the winter while in wolf form anyway, and after having twisted her ankle once before a few seasons ago, she really didn’t want to repeat that. Especially not with an intimidating alpha back at the residence, just waiting to point out any crack of weakness in her tight wall of command.

Her wolf picked her way through the brown leaves and easily climbed on top of a large boulder. The pale sunlight filtered down through the trees and landed on her warm fur that was speckled with different shades of brown. Her mother always said she looked like a sweet caramel dessert, but Chesca still thought of her wolf’s colour as burnt toast.

She sighed and lay down on the rock, closing her eyes briefly in the stillness of the forest, her mother’s kind face floating gently across her memory. It still hurt to think of her, and her father, but ever so slowly she was able to remember them without crying. Would they be proud of her? Would they see how she had taken their pack from broken and wounded, to strong and thriving? Would they approve of her undying tenacity and determination to let nothing ever harm the pack again?

She pushed the questions aside before they consumed her, and ran quickly the rest of the way home, shifting before going into the pack residence. She loved the way the grey spires on the roof stood sharply against the blue sky, and the firm turrets were always guarding the castle. She always felt safe coming home to this place, like it could protect her from a number of unseen enemies, or the forces in her own mind that often crumbled like a dilapidated wood shed.

She made her way to the kitchen and pulled off her running jacket. Her tank and shorts were sweaty and she couldn’t wait to have a cold shower and get started on the day. She had a huge drink of juice and rummaged through the cupboards for a bowl and some cereal. After quickly preparing some breakfast, she filled her glass with water from the sink. She always made sure she drank lots after a hard run.

“Hello, Beautiful.”

Chesca felt two warm hands on her hips at the same time his voice tickled her ear, and she whirled around quickly, pulling away. Water from her glass went flying and landed all over Kaiden. His bare chest glistened in the morning sun. He stood there shocked and she couldn’t help a small giggle. But she soon straightened her face when his eyes pinned hers.

“You...you got me all wet!”

“Well what did you expect when you put your grimy paws all over me? A good morning kiss?” she said in a duh tone.

“Well, af--after last night, I thought we...” he spluttered while wiping water from his stubbled chin. His very strong and handsome chin.

“You thought what?” she shifted her eyes to the wall behind him and tried to keep a leash on her thoughts.

“I thought we had a moment?” his voice went up at the end like he was asking for her agreement, and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

“A moment! Ha! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard! Well,” she smiled sarcastically, “here’s another moment to add to your box of happy memories,” she said while chucking the rest of the water into his face. Then she fled the kitchen, her cheeks burning with something she couldn’t identify. She’d felt many emotions over the years, but not this one. Not the way her heart raced every time he came near her, or looked at her steadily with those chocolate brown eyes of his, or the way his lips lifted slightly in a smirk as if he knew a secret and would only tell her if she pleaded for it. Never. She had to get back control of her feelings if she wanted to keep control of her pack. Her pack. She would never break the vow to her dying parents and give up, give in, and let go of everything they’d taught her.

Only once she was in the shower, cold water blasting down her back, did she remember something important.

“Grr I forgot my breakfast!” she groaned and thumped her fist against the cold tiles. She scrubbed her hair angrily, nearly tearing it all out, then got out and dried herself. Going to her closet, she chose her comfiest, baggiest sweatpants and a loose shirt. No way she was dressing up for anyone or anything today.

Tiptoeing her way across to her office, she managed to get there without bumping into anyone. Sitting down at her desk she stared at the stack of papers that always managed to grow higher no matter how many she went through and sorted out.

Who cares about breakfast, she wasn’t even hungry anyway, she figured as she put on her glasses and switched on her laptop. Taking a deep breath, she pushed all other thoughts from her mind and got stuck into pack work. Only a disciplined mind could handle all the pressures faced by alphas, and Chesca had always prided herself in her strong mental ability. She wouldn’t let a certain man ruin her track record now.

After a few hours, a knock on her door startled her.

Girl, it’s me, Lexi mind-linked.

“Come in.”

“So what’s up?” Lexi asked as she came in and plopped down on the couch. “Solved all the world’s problems yet? You’ve certainly been in here long enough.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chesca bit out a bit angrily. Normally she didn’t mind her friend’s interruptions, but now she didn’t feel in the mood for nice.

“Oh, nothing. It’s just that you missed lunch as well as breaky, and the warriors mentioned you were gonna train with them this afternoon. Buuut..I can see you’re busy.”

“You got that right. Tell them we’ll have to reschedule training. They can go on without me for now.”“Fine.”

“So how is everything else? Did the carpenters get the new building materials?”

“Yep. The delivery was made this morning. They’ll start on the new houses tomorrow.”

“Good. And the school?”

“Only half the kids turned up. I guess being the last week before term break doesn’t help any,” Lexi watched her Alpha with amusement in her dark eyes.

“And Charles? How’s my beta going?”

Lexi didn’t answer, just grinned a little.

“What?”

“Will you just ask what you and I both know you want to ask?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Chesca threw an eraser at her friend.

Lexi caught it and threw it back, hitting Chesca on the head. “Sure you do.” she flopped back on the couch, lazily dangling her legs over the end and putting her arms under her head. “He’s ok. Roman’s showing him around the pack.”

Chesca ignored her.

“Aren’t you going to personally escort him to the border?”

“Who?” she faked ignorance.

“Kaiden. Your mate. Duhhh!”

“He can replace it himself,” she busied herself straightening already straight papers.

“Oh, really?” Lexi wiggled her eyebrows. “I don’t think he wants to. And neither do you--”

“Will you just be quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to work here?” Chesca shouted, then immediately softened when she saw Lexi’s frown. “I’m sorry, I just...I just don’t wanna talk about Kaiden at the moment, ok?”

“Sure.” Lexi zipped her lips with a smirk. She watched as Chesca scrunched a paper and tossed it in the trash. “What was that?”

“Oh, just another refusal from Alpha Asa about the land.”

“But...we need that land!”

“I know, ok! I know,” Chesca ran her fingers through her hair. “Just add it to the list of unsolvable problems.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Lexi asked with genuine concern. Chesca knew she always meant well and would do anything for her, that’s how close a friend she was.

“No, unless you and Charles want to storm his territory and demand the land.”

“Now that would be fun! I’ve been telling you for ages--”

“No! And no again! I’ve been telling you that is not how we solve problems around here.”

“Fine, fine. Well, I’ll let you know when dinner is ready,” Lexi got up and headed towards the door. “You need a break sometime, Chesca.”

“Thanks, Lex,” Chesca smiled, then rubbed the bridge of her nose when her office was once more quiet.

How was she going to fix this?