The beast and the blessed novel by Ashley Breanne
Chapter 33

Thirty-Three: Natalie

Natalie's P.O.V.

I felt a pain in my chest as I realized that he was only seconds away from admitting that he hadmade a mistake by choosing me and sending me back home. If he did, I could live with it, but I wasalso frozen. with a deep panic that I wouldn't ever feel his arms around me again or get to enjoy theway the room. smelled like him after he showered.

He may not have let me in, but that didn’t mean he hadn't already wormed his way into my heart.Even if it was only a small amount. I was hooked on him. I was jealous of Joselin, and I was angrywhen I didn't get to spend time with him.

The sudden realization that I wanted him to stay in my life... that I wanted to learn more about him,not just because I wanted a civil relationship but because I wanted him to be mine, was terrifying. Ihad never felt like this before, even for Jake. With him, we were just comfortable.

We dated because it felt right, and we enjoyed each other's presence and touch. If I was beinghonest with myself, I enjoyed having someone who protected me and he enjoyed being seen assomeone's hero. With Killian, I couldn't even say if we were officially a couple. But the more time Ispent around him, the more I discovered this insatiable need to talk to him, touch him, and be nearhim. He was a like a magnet, constantly drawing me in and then flipping over when the sun roseand pushing me away.

But he had been right. It had only been one day, but after last night he was putting forward anhonest effort to make things better between us. I was woman enough to admit that he was right.

I wasn't ready to give up on whatever we had or could have in the future.

He seemed to pick up on my turmoil. Perhaps he could hear my heart, or maybe he could smell thatI was stressing, but his eyebrows pulled together.

“I don't want to yell, and I don't want to fight. We have already covered that I have never hadanything to do with Joselin. For you to believe me, is up to you, and I know that it will take time forme to earn your trust.” He let out a deep breath but this time I was the one confused. This wasn'thow a break-up conversation went. “For the rest of it, well...”

He leaned back against the couch with a sigh as the weight of the world seemed to grow heavier onhis shoulders, pulling them down further.

“During dinner yesterday,” Killian said as he rubbed his hand over his face before staring at me, hisdeep hazel eyes filled with torment. “There was a sighting just outside of the city. I sent out patrolsand came right back to you.”

Vampires.

If they were that close then, the people would be in danger. I hadn't been mad at him for the dinneritself, but I had the feeling if he was bringing it up, there was more to the story.

“During the ball, another one of my men were killed. It was inside the city this time. He was found inan alley. I had to go talk to his family and tell them what happened. I was going to have you comewith me, but I didn’t want to take you away from your first ball. I thought with Charlie there, youwould still be able to enjoy yourself.” His hazel eyes found mine, and I felt the bundle of clotheslower in my hold until I dropped them to the ground.

His eyes were empty. He was pushing back his emotions, but I could see in the clenched fist on histhigh. and the ticking of his jaw muscle that he was hurting.

"Oh, Killian,” I whispered, moving forward one step before stopping and waiting to see if he wasokay with me approaching him. The swirling of emotions in his eyes told me that he was, and Iclosed the space between us, dropping to my knees before him and grabbing his fist in my smallhands.

I had been acting like such a jealous brat while he had been dealing with real issues, biggerproblems. He had lost two men and had to tell their families that they had been murdered, and Iwas over here pouting because I wasn't getting enough attention from him and didn't like that hewas spending time with his advisor before the inevitable war.

He didn't need my insecure *.

“I'm so sorry, Killian.”

His hand opened, and he turned it over to grab mine. “I'm trying to make things better.” Therepeated statement only confirmed how broken he was by the new development, and I gripped hishand tightly. “Things are getting better. I was just being insecure and jealous. I... I like having youaround. I like being around you when you are you.” I whispered, scared to look at him as I spoke,not wanting to have to face his rejection.

“I am also a king.” He bit out bitterly, and I held his hand tighter, afraid he would pull away. “You willneed to learn to tolerate being around both because that is who I am. I will be the king until my lastbreath. I will have to step away from you from time to time to deal with my work, my kingdom, andmy people.”

“I understand that better now,” I said as he leaned down and grabbed my waist, pulling me up untilI sat next to him on the couch instead of kneeling before him. “Things are and will be better. Whatcan I do to help? What do you need from me?”

He let out a slow exhale as I leaned into his side, enjoying the physical contact after such a stressfulday.” Be patient with me, mate.”

It wasn't Natalie or Little One. It was mate. His mate.

He was being open and honest with me, and I respected that he was able to push his pride asideand ask me to give him a little more time and understanding. I could do that. If he could hear mewhen I asked for civility, I could hear him when he asked for patience.

“And let me hold you at night.”

My head fell onto his shoulder as I smiled with relief. I did owe Joselin an apology, and eventually, Iwould have to deal with Killian’s jealous, blonde ex. But right now, it was just the two of us, and Iwas happy for the moment.

I would need to grow and adapt to this new role, and support him the way a mate should instead ofacting. like the clingy and easily offended woman I had been for the past few weeks. If he wanted tohold me. after a hard day of work, I think that is only fair.

“I can do that,” I whispered as he leaned his cheek against the top of my head as we sat incomfortable silence.