The Book of Azrael (Gods & Monsters 1)
The Book of Azrael: Chapter 30

THE SILKEN SHEETS TANGLED MY LEGS AS WE GIGGLED, LAUGHED, AND TUMBLED BENEATH THEM. I braced my forearms on either side of her head, holding myself up so I didn’t crush her. Her hair clung to her flushed face as she laughed up at me. I caressed the curve of her cheek, brushing back the caramel strands, unable to remember her name.

She leaned forward, kissing me once more before laying back against the bed. Fabric was strewn around my chamber, proof of the pleasure we’d enjoyed the previous night. Songbirds sang as they flew by the open window, and morning light spilled into the room.

‘What if Imogen replaces out?’

‘I am not betrothed to Imogen nor her to me.’

She bit her bottom lip, tracing a finger along my jaw. ‘She speaks of you as if you are hers.’

My words held no kindness, only truth. They were the same words I’d uttered to Imogen and several others who thought a space in my bed meant my heart or my crown. ‘I do not love her, not as she loves me. Nor can I love you. You will not have a crown by bedding me. If that’s what you seek, I cannot give it to you. Do you understand?’

‘Yes,’ she whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck. ‘I shall have you in any way I can.’ Her leg inched higher up my side as she ground her hips into mine.

‘Is that so?’

My smile widened as I leaned forward slanting my mouth against hers. A soft moan escaped her lips as I claimed them. I gripped the side of her face and jaw, gently pushing her head back to allow me better access as my tongue danced with hers.

I pulled back and slowly opened my eyes. I froze, my heart a sudden hammering mess in my chest. I pushed up and scooted away, staring in shock. The lush ivory curves of the woman beneath me had been replaced by a slender golden skinned woman with thick, dark waves that curled around her face and shoulders.

‘Dianna,’ I breathed her name, ‘I do not wish to dream of you this way.’

‘Are you sure?’ She sat up, drawing closer to me. Her hair spilled down her back, revealing the sweet, lithe curves of her body and the soft swell of her breasts.

Something inside me snapped. My mouth went dry and my body burned with need.

Dianna ran a single hand up my arm as that sultry voice whispered like a siren’s song, ‘Stay with me.’

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat as I raised my hand, brushing back a wild strand of hair that had fallen across her forehead. I lightly caressed the side of her brow with a single finger. The same brows that she raises so often in my direction. I trail my touch along the curve of her cheek. The same cheeks that brighten when she smiles. I cup the side of her face, my hand curling around her jaw as I rub my thumb over the shape of her full lips, her beautiful defiant mouth.

I wondered what it would take to make her lips part, make her scream. I longed to replace out if she would bite and claw at me as I buried myself so deep inside of her she would not be able to see straight.

‘You already consume my every waking thought, must you consume my dreams as well?’

She tipped her head back as I ran my fingers along her chin and down her throat. I moved slowly, memorizing every line and curve of her face. A soft moan escaped her as my hand dipped lower, tracing her collarbones before dipping into the valley beneath her breasts. I knew then that I wanted to see and touch her like this for real, regardless that it was wrong. A part of my brain whispered that it was forbidden. We were forbidden.

Her body coiled beneath mine, drawing me closer as if she were a wave upon the sea and I was prepared to drown.

My eyes met her hazel gaze, and I knew that moment would be branded in my memory long after I had turned to stardust. I leaned forward to—

I felt wet heat replace the warmth of her silky skin and forced my gaze from her eyes to look at my hand, shocked to see blood pooling beneath my fingertips.

No.

She coughed and raised her head, tears staining her eyes as a trickle of blood dripped from the corner of her mouth.

‘You promised,’ she said, her words garbled.

No!

I pulled her to me, cradling her head as she coughed. I pressed my hand against the hole in her chest, trying to stop the bleeding, but it was no use. Her body cracked and bent before turning to ash. I slammed my eyes shut as the power inside of me threatened to combust. I felt the dark ring on my finger vibrate. Oblivion was reacting to my rage and grief, eager to be summoned. An ache, pure and blinding, consumed me, its sharp painful sting making me want to destroy everything in my path. I knew with the dark blade I could obliterate and reduce any living thing to mere atoms.

My eyes snapped open and I paused when I realized I was no longer in my room. I looked up, scanning my surroundings. The scenery was completely different, as was I. I opened my arms, no trace of Dianna’s ashes remaining. My hands were clean, all traces of her gone, and my chest ached with the loss. Silver plated armor covered my arms, legs, and torso. I spun slowly, my hands still outstretched as I looked around.

I was in the massive hallway of the Chamber of Raeul, the meeting and commerce building of Rashearim. Cream colored fabric attached to the massive columns, fluttered in the breeze. The walls were lined with statues of the gods in various different battle poses. Laughter and hollering flooded the main corridor. I moved toward the sound of revelry, the intensity of sound growing as I reached the large carved out entrance.

Several men and women sat at a long, thick table in the middle of the chamber. Several helmets sat at the end of the table and they wore the same armor I did, only theirs were covered in various forms of dirt and debris.

I knew them, knew them all. It was us, The Hand and I. Logan, Vincent, Neverra, Cameron, Zekiel, Xavier, and Imogen. I could not place what battle we all reminisced just that I remembered this time. It was a happier time.

‘Samkiel, you become any faster in battle and you will not require us anymore!’ Logan yelled as he leaned back, his helmet in his lap.

‘That’s incorrect. He may have the strength and skill but not the brains!’ Cameron shouted, holding up a cup as the others laughed.

‘Continue that and I will make sure everyone sees the brains you do not have.’ I heard my own voice from the far end of the table. Relaxed and posed but still dripping with overconfidence, I hated this version of myself. I did not remember who I was back then, and I certainly did not feel like him anymore. He was a distant memory, just like this dream. All these memories ever brought me were grief. I tried to focus and will myself to wake up but The scene continued to play out before me.

‘How many Ig’Morruthens was that today? Ten? Twelve?’ Xavier asked, stealing a bit of food from Cameron.

‘Not enough.’ Was my response. ‘Their numbers swell and yet the gods barely bat an eye.’

Vincent swallowed the bitter drink and cleared his throat. ‘The less of them in this realm, the safer we will all be.’

My head nodded as I rubbed my chin. ‘I agree. They are mindless, destructive beasts. They have no real purpose except to be weapons for war. The quicker we free the realms of them the better.’

The others held their glasses high, cheering in unison before continuing to speak and laugh about some other nonsense.

‘Wow. Harsh.’

I did not move, only held my hands in front of me as Dianna appeared in my peripheral. We stood side by side, watching the scene play out before us.

‘It was a different time. I was different. Arrogant.’ I sighed deeply. ‘I believed killing was the only way to protect my home.’

She tipped her head toward me, her arms behind her back. ‘Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.’

‘Is this a part of our deal? The blooddreams you mentioned? Is that why I dream of you now?’

A slow seductive smile spread across her face as she bit her bottom lip. ‘Would you like that to be why? Would it excuse all the nasty things you think of me, hmm?’

I felt my jaw clench as I looked away from her.

‘I mean how could you ever be with a monster?’

‘You are not a monster,’ I snapped, meeting her gaze which only caused her to laugh.

‘Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. Besides, I’m not really here anyway. I’m just your higher self trying to tell you something.’

I narrowed my eyes at her and demanded, ‘Tell me what?’

She strode forward, closing the distance between us, and I held my breath. She reached up and caressed my cheek lightly. I refused to move as her gentle touch turned painful, her nails digging into my cheeks and dragging my face closer to hers. Those once enchanting hazel eyes burned crimson as she leaned in close enough that I felt her breath upon my lips.

‘That this is how the world ends.’ Her voice was a sibilant hiss. My hand shot up, clasping her wrist as she gripped my jaw tighter. She was so strong here, and she forcibly turned my head, facing me away from the room. I stumbled and when I corrected myself, the scenery changed once more.

I reached up, touching the side of my face where her claws had sunk into me. There was no blood and no scratches decorated my face. I swallowed and looked around, trying to figure out where I was. I was near a balcony, but it was one I didn’t recognize. Pyramids loomed in the distance, several smaller buildings made from the same material decorated the space around them. The moon hung high, casting everything in silver. It was gorgeous but not my home. Light reflected off the armor I still wore.

The sound of many footsteps marching in unison made me turn. Torches hung on the walls nearby, the small flame barely glowing. I stared into the shadows past the light, silver clad soldiers appearing as if summoned from the darkness. They carried thick oval shields at their sides and held ablaze weapons. I didn’t take my eyes off them as they stepped forward as one, their boots slamming against the stone floor. Soldiers. These were my soldiers.

The wind behind me whipped at my hair as my back hit the railing of the balcony. The soldiers stopped and shifted their shield in front of them before pointing with a single finger beyond me.

I peered over my shoulder, an orange glow slowly lighting the sky behind me. I slowly turned, gazing in horror at the once vibrant, beautiful landscape as it was reduced to ash and rubble. The sky thundered, glowing that same orange tinged with red. Crimson lightning struck in rapid succession. Another loud, thunderous roar echoed through air thick with ash and smoke as a large shape split the clouds. Wings, thick and powerful, beat at the sky. The rest of the Ig’Morruthen’s body was hidden by the thick clouds. The beast roared again and sent thunderous flames across the devastated land.

I knew this scene, only it was not happening on Rashearim. No, it was. Was this what my higher self was trying to warn me? Complete and utter destruction? I stumbled backward and let loose a roar of denial and grief, stopping as I bumped into someone. I whirled around to see Dianna behind me.

Her eyes were solid white, but that was not what scared me. It was the thick bruise around her throat. It looked as if someone had broken her neck so violently that they had nearly ripped her spine from her body.

‘Dianna!’ A sob escaped me as I reached for her and stopped.

The shadows behind her seemed to move and I glanced over her head. A throne rose in the far distance. A man sat upon it. He had no face, only his shape told me he was male. He leaned one elbow on the arm of the chair, his fist supporting his chin. The armor he wore was pure obsidian with spikes jutting from the knees and shoulders, mimicking the crown he wore. Kaden.

A rumbling growl echoed behind him as what I thought was part of his throne moved. The tip of a thick, spiked tail whipped through the air and out of view. A large bulky body emerged from the darkness, red eyes narrowed into slits as the creature glared balefully at me. It was the same winged beast Dianna had turned into only larger.

‘Look what you’ve done,’ Dianna said. I turned my attention back to her, her voice garbled from the devastating condition of her neck. ‘Look. You have brought destruction here.’

‘No! No, I did not.’ I shook my head rapidly from side to side.

Her voice was but a raspy whisper, as she pointed behind me. ‘That is all you are. Destruction.’

‘No.’

‘You see now, Samkiel. This is how the world ends.’

More people shuffled forward from behind his throne. So many. Several hundred now filled the temple. All of them were covered in dirt and bleeding. Some were missing limbs, some were without heads, and others were mere skeletons. They raised any limb they could, pointing to the chaos behind me.

They began to chant, and I raised my hands to my ears, trying to block it out, trying to stop it. The sound was deafening, and it didn’t help that the words seemed to echo within my head, growing louder with each step they took.

‘No, I can stop this. Tell me how!’ I shouted over the growing voices. They kept coming, moving inexorably forward, pushing me toward the edge, repeating the same thing over and over again.

This is how the world ends.

This is how the world ends.

This is how the world ends.