The Cambion's Hoard
Chapter 28-Biggs

I heard the front door close and knew it was Rose and Thatcher. I could feel her happiness, feel how much she loved my brother. Loved him. I knew she wasn’t close to admitting that, but I could feel it. That love physically pained me.

She should love me. I was stronger than Thatcher. Faster. Better looking now. I would be the best father for her children. My body curled in on itself as I fought to scream. I let those screams ripple through my body, forcing parts of me to shift with each spasm.

I hated my brother for what had happened. Had it been me first, I would be okay right now, but it was him. He realized first, took the first action, he stole all the firsts from me, including first love. I have always been first, first hatched from the egg, first one to talk, first one to walk, first to fly. I was supposed to be first!

My eyes popped open, and I found someone sitting in front of me. I looked up the thigh and realized it was too soft and round to be Henson. I rolled and looked up at Rose’s beautiful face. The fullness of her cheeks and lips made me think of a goddess. Her hair hung in soft waves over her shoulder. She was wearing a floral print sweater that made her own colors pop.

Rose moved her fingers towards me. I moaned and pushed mine toward her but stopped. I couldn’t touch her, I’d broken the trust, so I pulled back. I sobbed when she threaded her fingertips with mine. The first step.

“You’re burning up. I don’t know what a fever is like for you guys, but this feels like one.” She touched my forehead with her free hand.

“It’s fine.” She didn’t need to worry about me. I’d suffered worse fevers than this.

She didn’t look convinced but didn’t push further. “I talked to Patti. She said that by punishing you, I’m hurting our mate bond. I’m making it toxic. The thing is, I am pissed, but I can’t let this hurt you. What would punishing you do to our bond? Would it make it dangerous? Would you crave the abuse, and would I enjoy giving it to you? That isn’t a bond worth any amount of pain. Pain can be a pleasure if you let it, but pleasure shouldn’t cause pain.”

“It’s fine that you’re punishing me. I deserve it. I’m so jealous of my brother. You have to feel that?” I rubbed my pointer finger in and out of her pointer and middle fingers.

“I can. That’s why I came in here. You’re in pain, and I know I’m the reason.”

“No! I’m the reason. This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t overreacted. I didn’t know you were my mate. I just let instinct take over. It was stupid.” I pulled her hand a little closer.

When I looked at her, her sadness was overwhelming. Where moments ago, I had felt her happiness. I was making her miserable. My misery was causing her to look that way. Fuck.

She stroked my face. “We have to replace a way to work through this. I will not slow down with Thatcher any more than I already have. The inevitable is coming, and you need to prepare yourself for that.”

I nodded my head the best I could. “I know. I wish it was me first.”

She squeezed my fingers but pulled away and got up. “You can’t always be first, Biggs. You keep talking about having children. In that instance, you stop being a priority, Hen stops, and I stop. Any children born from this chaotic situation will be first before anyone else. Put that in the front of your mind. Yet our mate bond isn’t driving me to that basic instinct like it is you. I’m not ready for children yet.”

She headed from the room, and I didn’t want her to leave. When she looked back at me, I had a little hope she’d stay. “Try to replace something to bring you joy. Even if it’s just watching me cook or clean. Thatch and Hen will be around. Learn to live with your bother again. Go talk to Patti and see if she can help explain things and help you figure out how to survive. We want a healthy bond, and if it starts out where one of us is feeling tortured, it won’t be.”

Rose left, and I was left with my pain again. She was right if I didn’t get myself straightened out. I’d end up hurting all of us.