The Chrononauts
Chapter 23: The Red Lobster Tour

The next day, the Bradys and friends arrived at the Air Force base’s main gate. The guard snarled, “You people have no authority here. Leave at once!”

Bob got out of the vehicle and presented his FBI badge. “We are tracking the movements of an alien that we traced to here.” Several truckloads of press with cameras filmed the encounter.

The Peterson base commander showed up with a JAG lawyer. “We rescued a man we found wandering in the snow and, while giving him medical attention, he was abducted by persons unknown.”

Bob asked, “Have you found them?”

The commander shook his head. “No.”

Bob persisted. “Well, do you have any idea where they went?”

The commander said tersely. “No.”

Bob said, “We have a detective here who had his sister come out here at your request. Now he is here to replace his sister. You have no idea where she is and you refuse to let us see your meager evidence?”

The annoyed commander yelled, “We are better equipped to replace her than you hotshot Massachusetts detectives.” The JAG lawyer put his hand up and backed away from the commander.

Matt gave him a nasty stare. “Well we hotshot Massachusetts detectives have a theory. Care to hear it?”

The press smiled and looked at the commander. “Sure, hotshot,” he laughed. “Let’s hear it.”

Matt smiled. “We intercepted a message to you concerning the kickback money from your cutting maintenance plane checks every month. We found your Cayman account you placed two million dollars into. We think you screwed your partners out of their cut and they kidnapped these people for leverage against you.”

The commander’s jaw fell to the floor. The press went crazy and started taking pictures. The commander sputtered that it was a lie. The JAG lawyer was on the phone and looking angrily at the commander. He was relieved of command the next day. The JAG lawyer gave them the incident report.

Bob started reading it aloud. “Two beings broke into base at midnight and disabled forty security individuals and escaped in a...”

He chuckled and handed the paper to Dave who finished the sentence, saying, “…flying saucer, baby!” They went back to the motel.

Matt read the report and smiled. “Well, none of the forty men were harmed so it is unlikely that harm has come to my sister.”

Mrs. B. asked, “Where did you get all the information about the commander?”

Bob laughed. “Victoria got the information from Snowflake.” Snowflake hooted once and quickly turned and looked at the motel room door. Larry sniffed and growled. Brady pulled him away from the door. Everyone pulled out a gun. Bob opened the door slowly and picked up a FedEx envelope.

Bob looked at Snowflake. “Is it safe to open, Snowflake?” He got one hoot and calmly opened it. Barry gave him a funny look. Bob laughed. “Yes, we have come this far.” Snowflake’s hoot in response sounded like a “damn right”.

Bob looked at the contents of the envelope and chuckled. “It says we have to fly back to Massachusetts, for starters. It is a map. If we follow it, we have to drive eight hundred miles. There is a fingerprint circled on the paper.”

Matt scanned it. “The print is my sister’s. What do we do? It is probably a trap.”

Victoria looked at it carefully and started laughing. “It is not a trap.”

Brady looked at it. “This map is stupid. Whoever made it seems to take a nonsensical route to get to a destination that can be gotten to in a straight line. It looks almost like a sightseeing route.”

Victoria laughed. “Check out the points of interest.”

Brady looked and laughed. There were Red Lobster restaurants every six hours. “I guess your grandfather is between chess tournaments for the moment and I suppose he is going to have a little fun with the bad guys?”

A shocked Dave stuttered, “But he is dead—I did his autopsy.”

Victoria laughed. “Well, obviously not and we are supposed to follow the map. I am sure there will be entertainment provided by yours truly. He must figure someone is following us and he needs time for some reason.”

They flew back and got a good night of sleep. They started out the next day with an all-terrain vehicle. They were being followed by two trucks. They saw no need to try to lose them. The group stopped at the first Red Lobster for lunch.

Dave had never seen Victoria’s grandfather in action before but some of the stories had him excited to see what he had planned for the bad guys.

Four bad guys who were former Special Forces members and thought they were hot stuff came in. They sat three tables away from Victoria’s group. There was a table of four tipsy women drinking openly at a table next to the men. They looked suspiciously like Victoria’s four favorite aunts.

The redhead approached the biggest guy at the table. She slurred her words. “Hey, Fatso, would you introduce me to your gay little friend?”

The big guy stood up. He towered over her by a foot. “I am not fat and the gay guy is not gay. So why don’t you get your fat butt back to your table and order a low-cal salad.” His friends all laughed loudly.

A second woman stood up. “You better watch it, chubby, or she will kick your ass.” His table laughed at her. The first woman picked up his keys and placed her thumb against the car key. She held it in front of his face and bent the key in half with just her thumb.

He yelled, “You little bitch!” That started a brawl. The four men got their butts kicked. The police were there almost immediately. The men were arrested and given very nasty cavity searches.

Dave was psyched. “Wow, did you see that? You don’t see stuff like that every day.”

Victoria laughed. “The day is still young, Dave.” They were still being followed when they got to the next Red Lobster for supper. Dave was bouncing around before they even walked in the door. There were four new guys watching them.

They sat two tables away and ate quietly. Two policemen entered and two others stood by the door with unbuckled guns. The bad guys watched them with curiosity. The two officers inside walked over to Bob and the group. One asked, “Excuse me, sir, is that your black van outside?”

Bob looked up. “No, officer, I am an FBI agent. My partner and I are working with detectives from Massachusetts looking for a missing woman.” They all showed their badges to the police. Bob made eye contact with the police at the door and looked over at the other table that brought all four officers together.

The police cautiously walked over to the table of four men who sat there quietly. The sergeant asked, “Do you gentlemen own the black van outside?”

The seated leader laughed. “We sure don’t, officer. We shot the owner, threw his body in the woods, and stole it.” The whole table laughed. All four cops had their hands on their guns.

The leader became serious. “Look, officer, it is a rental. The paperwork is in the glove compartment. The door is unlocked; go look for yourselves.” An officer went out to check out their story. He came back with his gun drawn.

The leader looked surprised. “Wasn’t it there?”

“Yes,” the officer replied, “However I had to move the dead body and recently fired automatic weapons to get to it.” The shocked men were arrested and taken out in cuffs.

One officer walked by Bob and stopped just long enough to chuckle, “What kind of idiot has a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if this is your van we stole?’”

Dave laughed. “Boy, I guess all those stories you told me the last two years were really true, Brady.”

The group stayed at a motel and started out at eight the next morning. They had two vans following them.

At the next Red Lobster, Dave was the first out of the vehicle. He looked in the window and was disappointed by what he saw. “It looks pretty tame in there and there are a lot of people.”

Victoria laughed. “Looks can be deceiving, Dave.” He perked up immediately.

Brady looked in. “Our friends might have trouble getting a table.” Their group went in and got the last table. Five minutes later, the four men entered the restaurant. They were told they would have to wait for a table.

The leader looked around. “There is a table with only one old man. We will sit there.”

The waiter shook his head. “No you cannot sit there. That is Mr. Wonderful. He likes to eat alone.”

The leader laughed. “Don’t worry, sport. I’ll talk to him.” He patted the waiter’s cheek.

Bob became alarmed. “We can’t let civilians get hurt because of us.”

Mrs. B. patted his arm. “Meet Victoria’s grandfather.” The lone figure looked up at Victoria and winked.

Dave looked shocked. “But, but he is dead.”

The leader was six-foot six and 300 pounds and very intimidating. “Excuse me sir, there are no empty tables. May we share yours?”

He started to sit down without waiting for a response. Mr. Wonderful kicked the chair out from under him and he ended up sitting on the floor. Walter looked at the man on the floor. “Get lost, you fat little twerp.”

The leader became irate and fought to control his temper, “If I were you, I would take a good look at me.” The whole restaurant became silent.

Walter looked him over. “I beg your pardon; I didn’t know you were gay. Please get lost.”

The leader’s own men laughed at him. The bad guys from the second van had walked inside and quietly watched the event from the bar. Meanwhile, the waiter was on the phone to the police. “Naw,” he said, “there are only four of them. Just send an ambulance.”

The leader of the second group heard him and smiled. He gave a surprised look to his three friends. They did not like the other four men. The waiter smiled and nodded to them. They watched expectantly, hoping the big dink was going to get his ass kicked.

The irate leader leaned down to Walter, who was dipping a piece of crab in butter. “Look, you old fart, we are going to sit here whether you like it or not.”

Walter looked at him and made a face. “If you are going to keep interrupting my supper, go buy a pack of breath mints. Your breath smells like someone’s butt.”

The whole restaurant started laughing. Walter chuckled. “I tell you what, sonny; I will arm wrestle you. If you win, the table is yours, but you will lose. When you do lose to an eighty-year-old fart, try to walk out without crying about it.”

The leader at the bar laughed. “You got to give the old guy credit. I hope he doesn’t get hurt.”

The waiter laughed. “I got fifty bucks that says the big dink loses.” The shocked man took the bet. The leader snickered and rolled up his sleeves to expose a huge arm. They locked hands.

The leader screamed, “You’re hurting my fingers.” The whole restaurant roared. He blushed and got ready.

Walter kept eating lobster with his other hand. Walter looked him in the eye. “Any time you’re ready, tough guy.” The man lurched and applied all his body weight to his arm; Walter’s arm didn’t move an iota. After thirty seconds, Walter said, “Sorry, I need my arm to break more crab claws.” He slammed the man’s arm onto the table with a loud thud.

The leader screamed, “You broke my freaking arm.”

Walter snickered at him. “In three places, I believe.”

The man stood up, swearing. “Nobody does that to me and lives.”

He tried to pull out his gun but it went off and he ended up shooting himself in the foot. He pulled out a knife and slashed at Walter. Walter casually leaned back and the giant stuck the knife into the table. Walter slammed his lobster fork right through his hand, pinning it to the table.

The man screamed, “You broke this hand, too.”

Walter chuckled. “Well, after all, you did try to stab me. The whole place laughed as three giant’s friends helped him out the door. The other group of men sat, waiting for a table. Walter laughed and waved the leader over. He nervously walked over.

Walter chuckled. “You guys can eat here if you like. Your friend was an asshole so I am afraid I had a little fun with him. You got a clear view of the people you are obviously following, see?” Walter waved at Victoria and she waved back, giggling. The man waved his three reluctant friends over.

Walter introduced himself as did the four men. “So, why are you guys following my granddaughter?” The smiling little girl waved at them.

The man was going to lie but thought better of it. “We are trying to replace a man who was forcibly removed from a government Air Force base. Our boss thinks you know where he is and we are supposed to follow you.”

Walter chuckled. “See the big guy staring at you? His sister is the doctor taken with the man. That is who they are after. They don’t know the man. They also don’t know where they are going. They are following a map that was pushed under their door.”

The leader shrugged. “How do you know that?”

Walter blushed. “Well, I wrote the map. By the way, your boss wants to kill them.”

The man looked shocked. “You’re wrong. I work for the government.”

Walter scoffed, “The CIA isn’t the government. The people that helped get them out are aliens. I ought to know.” He smiled at them. The men looked at Walter like he was crazy. They remained and had an enjoyable meal.

Walter chuckled. “It was a pleasure, gentleman. Tell you what: anybody got a quarter?” The leader threw him one. Walter laughed. “If the quarter lands on the edge, I will buy your dinner.” The four men all chuckled. The quarter bounced once and stopped on its edge. Four jaws dropped. Walter shook his head. “Damn. That is the fourth time this week.”

Molly sat thinking. “So, we just sit telling stories to each other?”

Gort laughed. “No. Johnny-boy will be able to travel in two days. You don’t need to worry about your brother; he has some, let us say, unique friends.”

The second four men reported to the general. The leader laughed, “We had no problems with anyone. In fact, we sat with the man who was confronted earlier by our companions. He was an old geezer who was funny and pleasant. He even entertained us with magic.”

The general chuckled. “Well, your four friends didn’t get along so well with the old man.”

The man laughed. “Jack is a bully and an asshole and got taken down a peg or two by an eighty-year-old fart named Walter—my new hero, by the way.”

The general got serious. “Well, the asshole wants another shot at the old man. He seems to be at every Red Lobster that the FBI goes in. Jack will get the next encounter with the FBI agent and his friends. You will be back up, but he is in charge.”

The leader smiled. “I will make sure an ambulance is present for the encounter.”

The last meeting was in a Red Lobster during lunch the next day. The FBI group was there and Walter sat two tables over. There were no available tables again and Walter sat alone.

Jack and his boys entered and were surprised to see no free tables again. They saw the only table with empty chairs was Walter’s. Jack strode quickly over to his table.

Walter looked up and laughed. “What? You want to arm wrestle me again?”

Jack took out a Glock. “Say one more word, old man.” The four men, who were back up, sat at the bar in shock. Sam came up behind Jack with his gun out. “Put the weapon away before he sticks it up your ass, Jack.”

Walter laughed. “Well, in that case, get lost you pompous little coward. How can an organization promote an ass like you to a leadership position?” Jack pointed his gun at Walter and pulled the trigger. The gun just clicked. Walter didn’t even look up. He chuckled. “So, you would murder an unarmed man?”

He looked at Victoria’s table. He raised his hand and shook his head. Walter told Victoria’s group to leave. The bad guys didn’t move and sat at the bar having drinks.

Several police officers entered and waited while the Bradys’ table was cleared. As soon as they sat down, the bad guys realized the Bradys had left.

The leader swore. “Where the hell are they?” He rose quickly and reached for his wallet but it was gone. He yelled, “Somebody pay for the drinks!” All their wallets were missing. They tried to leave but were stopped by the waiters. They started to punch the waiters and were grabbed by the police.

The leader screamed, “We are government agents, you idiots.”

The police sergeant chuckled. “Fine, then show us some ID.”

They took their shoes off and handed plastic cards to the police.

The sergeant laughed. “Take it easy, boys. They are members of the Starship Enterprise.” The angry leader looked at his ID. He was in the picture with his arms around Sulu and Spock. They were cuffed and brought down to the station.

They got their customary “Welcome to Massachusetts” cavity search. Brady drove down the road while Dave looked at the map. “Crap. No more Red Lobsters.”

Victoria chuckled. “We just crossed the border out of Massachusetts, guys.” Her smile made Brady nervous. He continued driving and noticed there were fewer and fewer signs of people. They were being followed by two vans but they were quite a ways back. They passed a final road sign, Welcome to Nevada.

Bob laughed. “Wait until they see that. They must have put a tracker on our vehicles.” The road seemed to get spookier as they drove.

The bad guys saw the sign. “What the hell is that? It must be the name of a hick town or something.” There were no more traffic signs or other cars on the road. The road turned from asphalt to dirt and there were a lot of turns that seemed to be for no reason. There were no trees or rocks to go around, just a few tall cacti.

The bad guy’s car slowed down when they saw a tall figure thumbing for a ride. The man riding shotgun looked out the window. “Man, that guy must be eight feet tall and look! He is carrying a damn ax.” They drove by the man and he threw his ax through their back window. “Look, it is covered with blood!”

Sam yelled, “Call Jack and tell him to watch out for this monster. Tell him to shoot the son of a bitch.” The giant man apparently had another ax and was thumbing again.

Jack saw him a hundred yards in front of his truck. He hit him with automatic fire. The man staggered in the middle of the road and lifted his ax high in the air. Jack screamed, “Run him down.” The driver hit him doing sixty miles an hour.

Jack was shocked to discover that the man was still holding on to the passenger door handle. The other hand still had the ax and it smashed through the window and became buried in the passenger seat. Jack fired his Glock at him point-blank. The man let go of the door and fell. His men all stared at the body out the back window as they drove away.

Jack called Sam. “Ah, okay, we killed him. That was weird, man.” Sam could see the tail lights of Brady’s car ahead. They seemed to be going up a steep hill and after a moment, the lights disappeared.

Sam radioed Jack. “There must be a big hill ahead.” They drove a mile and a half and encountered no hills. They saw the tail lights again. “Man, this road is strange.”

A few minutes later, he heard from Jack. “Wow, what a steep hill. You should have warned us.”

Sam laughed. “You must be on the wrong road. There are no hills.

Jack came back on the radio. “Bullshit. We watched you go up a steep hill. Pump your brakes. Yup, we are still behind you.”

Dave looked out the window and saw building silhouettes in the moon light. “I can see buildings, but I don’t see any lights.” The road got bumpy. They noticed the two vehicles behind them had disappeared. “It must be a ghost town of some sort. Are we in gold and silver country? What happened to the middle states?”

Victoria laughed. “My grandfather must know a shortcut.” That comment had scared Dave.

Bob looked at his GPS but it wasn’t working correctly. Their vehicle stalled. They would have to carry their gear the last mile to the town and sleep in a building. There was a thunderstorm on the way.

The bad guys had lost sight of the Bradys. Their vehicles both stopped also. Jack swore. “Well, there is only one road. If we stay on it, we will replace the assholes.” Sam protested, but Jack was the boss. “When I replace them, I’m killing them all.”

The thunder and lightning started when they were half a mile out of town. Dave was depressed. “This is just wonderful. I love rain.”

Snowflake and Larry led the way into the town. A hundred yards away, Larry started growling. Victoria looked at Snowflake and asked, “Safe to go in?”

She got one hoot.

The wind picked up dramatically and blew the sand around. Dave kicked over a sign. It said, “Welcome to Goldfield.” It was full of bullet holes. Dave chuckled. “Gee, thanks.” They entered the town and walked down the sandy main street.

Matt chuckled, “It couldn’t have been too bad; after all, there were three saloons.”

Mrs. B. sniffed the air. “I swear I smell stale beer.” A door creak made Brady and Larry jump.

Victoria laughed. “It is only the wind, boys.” Larry barked at her. The rain started to come down in buckets. They ran into the hotel.

Bob googled Goldfield. “It says we are in Arizona. We can’t be. We should be in southern New Mexico.”

Dave shivered. “Actually, we should be in New York.”

Bob read his screen. “It says this is a tourist attraction. They even stage bank robberies and gun fights.”

Matt looked around. “Boy, they don’t waste money on upkeep.” The hotel was missing the door, but the roof kept the rain out. Everyone fanned out and found a room.

Bob put his sleeping bag near the entrance. “We better get some sleep. Our friends should replace us by tomorrow.”

A restless Dave found a room on the second floor of the hotel that overlooked the main street. There was the tilted picture of a woman with a black ostrich feather fan. She stood with her gartered leg on a passed-out cowboy with a large black hat over his face. Dave chuckled. “I think I’ll sleep on the floor; sorry, honey.” The picture crashed to the floor, scaring the crap out of Dave. Eventually, he fell asleep, as the rain hitting the tin roof was relaxing. Dave woke to replace his foot was keeping time to the pelting rain. He listened more closely to it and realized there was piano music mixed in with it. He walked over to the window and it seemed louder.

He laughed. “Jeez, I am more tired than I thought.” He tried to filter the piano out of the rain but he couldn’t. At least it wasn’t country and western. He walked downstairs. No radios were playing. Larry’s head went up with his ears at attention. He tipped his head and wagged his tail when he recognized Dave.

Larry sat up, hoping for a walk. The rain had let up some, so Dave and Larry headed outside. Dave could hear the music clearer. He followed it to the nearby saloon. He walked in slowly and looked around. Larry didn’t like the cold rain and trotted back to the hotel.

Dave heard a sound behind him and was shocked to see a cold beer on the bar right in front of him. He could see the slide path in the sand coating on the bar. He walked behind it and saw the floor was coated in sand and it wasn’t disturbed. He could still hear the piano. The piano in the saloon was damaged badly. It even had bullet holes through it.

He nervously sniffed the beer. He tasted the ice cold brew. “Yummy. Thanks for the beer.” He saluted the air with the mug and drank it down. He put the empty mug on the bar and looked around again. He could smell pretzels. He turned back to the bar and there was a dish of warm pretzels and another cold beer.

Brady woke up to the smell of wet horse. There were also various noises and muffled voices. He took out his weapon and looked out the window, expecting to see their pursuers. Instead, he saw a scene out of a Wild West movie.

Brady chuckled. “The actors start work pretty early in the morning.” He could smell bacon cooking. He looked back and saw everyone was starting to wake up.

Matt looked around. “Anyone see Dave?”

Bob laughed. “Knowing Dave, he probably is out looking for the Lost Dutchman Mine.” They figured he was out exploring. They followed their noses to a primitive restaurant and sat at an empty table.

The waitress was dressed in old-style western cotton clothes. The food was very tasty. Matt liked the bacon. “Wow, hand-cut bacon and really fresh eggs,” he commented. The proprietors even let the dog sit and eat at the table, along with the owl. The waitress told them the bill was $1.40.

Brady reached for his wallet. “No. I mean how much is the bill for all of us?”

The waitress laughed. “That is for everybody. The animals eat free.”

Brady gave her five dollars and said, “Keep the change.” The waitress departed extremely delighted. They walked back outside.

Bob laughed. “Everybody eats for two bucks? It must be off season.” Dave was still missing. They saw the sheriff’s office and walked in.

The sheriff looked suspiciously like Gregory Peck. “What can I do for you folks?”

Bob said, “We are looking for a friend of ours. We can’t seem to replace him anywhere.”

Dave yelled from a cell. “I am in here.” The sheriff laughed and led them back to Dave.

He chuckled, “Your friend can’t handle his beer.” He was running down the main street screaming something about loving aliens and UFOs. I locked him up. He passed out in the street and I was afraid a wagon might run over him. So, what is a UFO?”

Brady laughed. “It is an unidentified flying object.” The sheriffs looked confused. Brady continued. “You know, like an airplane.”

The sheriff asked, “What is that, some kind of bird?” Brady looked at his friends with raised eyebrows. He turned towards the street and took a really good look. There were no tourists. He glanced at Victoria, who smiled and nodded to him.

Dave was released from jail. “Boy, this place is realistic.”

He was shocked when he spotted a body being put in a coffin. “That’s the guy! He’s really dead?” The coffin was pushed into the mortician’s black wagon. People removed their hats as the wagon passed on the way to the burial ground. Dave wanted to clap but Brady stopped him.

The two cars of the CIA had started in the morning and, an hour later, they pulled up behind the Bradys’ vehicle. They looked inside with their guns drawn. They were disappointed that no one was there. Jack swore, “Shit, I wanted to smoke someone this morning.”

He looked at the silhouette of the town. “They must be there. Bring plenty of ammo, ladies.” They had to walk through a morning rain shower. Sam looked up the town on the Internet. “It is a tourist trap. They put on gun fights and bank robberies. So don’t shoot anybody, Jack.”

The Bradys realized everything was real. Matt chuckled, “If our friends show up, we might as well let them replace out the hard way.”

Jack looked down the street. “If they hide them, I will kill the whole town. That old fart better not be here or I’ll waste the mother fucker.”

Sam took a good look at the people milling around. “Do you notice anything funny about them?”

Jack laughed. “Yeah, I haven’t killed them yet.”

Sam shook his head. “No, dummy; there are no tourists.”

Jack laughed. “Well, I know one thing: they could all use a bath.”

An old prospector leading a donkey bumped into Jack. He dropped a rock out of his pocket. He apologized in a mixture of German and English.

Jack laughed. “Where did he come from? There was nobody behind us. Hey, you old geezer, stop! You owe me an apology and it better be in English.” The old man kept walking. Jack fired a shot on the ground in front of him.

Sam grabbed him. “Are you crazy shooting live bullets?”

A man spoke, “Leave the Dutchman alone.” A very intimidating man dressed all in black stood ready to draw. Jack turned towards him. Brady and Dave stood in a doorway watching. Brady chuckled. “You ought to know that he has real bullets too.”

The cowboy laughed. “Of course they are real bullets.” The other men backed away from Jack and his two friends.

An excited voice yelled into a saloon. “Hey, three idiots are going to try to out-draw Johnny Ringo!” A crowd ran out of the saloon to watch.

Jack’s two friends put their hands up and backed away. The man chuckled at Jack, who started to shake violently. A bullet shot Johnny’s hat off. He didn’t take his eyes off Jack. “Good morning, sheriff.”

The sheriff chuckled. “Now Johnny, you know there is no killing before noon.”

Johnny argued. “But sheriff, this carpetbagger was going to shoot Jacob.”

The sheriff looked angry. “What? Well, just wound him for now.” The relieved smile on Jack’s face disappeared.

Johnny gave him a nasty smile. “Pick up the gold nugget you knocked out of the old mans pocket.”

A defiant Jack said, “I don’t see anything.”

Johnny shot the ground that hit the rock right in front of Jack. The gun was drawn with lightning speed. Jack shook as he picked it up and handed it to Jacob.

Johnny said, “Now get on your knees and apologize.”

Jack started to protest and a hole was shot through his ear. Everyone in town laughed at him. He got on his knees and apologized. Johnny snorted. “See you at noon, yellow belly.”

Brady and his friends decided to explore. The town cemetery seemed like a good place to begin. The dates on the headstones started at 1868.

Bob chuckled. “A lot of people died here.” He meandered down to the bottom row and saw ten holes in the ground.

A young kid was putting flowers on a grave. He saw Bob looking at all the holes. “Oh, Jess digs them when it rains. It is a lot cooler then.”

Bob chuckled. “Don’t you think ten graves are a bit optimistic?”

The boy laughed. “Naw, after twelve o’clock they fill up fast after everyone has had a couple shots of Red Eye. That’s why they only sell beer until noon. Your three friends will be here soon. Johnny Ringo got a bullet hole in his favorite hat because of them.”

Victoria stayed in town and found herself walking through the supply store. The man with the mule came in and bought beans, bacon, and bullets. He was swearing about the high prices in German. Victoria laughed and spoke to him in German. “Why does everyone protect you?”

He laughed. “They can’t try to follow me to my secret gold mine if I am dead.”

Several members of the Brady group were at the gunsmith’s buying vintage firearms. Dave gushed, “If we get back to modern civilization, these guns will be worth a fortune.”

Bob laughed. “Yes, if, but if you’re armed in this town, someone will shoot you.”

The group had agreed to meet at the dining hall at noon. Once they got together, Victoria told everyone about her chance meeting with Jacob.

The bad guys were sitting two tables over and were listening. Sam noticed all the people eating were watching them. “I don’t know about this place; it gives me the creeps. It sure as hell isn’t a tourist trap with all the live bullets flying around. Why is everyone smiling at us?”

He looked over at the Bradys. They were eating steak and eggs without a care in the world. The kid, whom Bob had talked to earlier, now stood by Jack’s table. The kid chuckled, “I know why everyone is looking at you.” He held out his hand. “And you ought to eat quicker; it is almost noon.”

Jack tossed the kid a dollar. “Who cares what time it is?”

The kid smiled. “Wow, you’re really brave, mister. You must have a fast gun. Imagine a shootout with Johnny Ringo in half an hour and all you are worried about is your lunch. This is epic. I bet it makes the front page of the paper. The kid walked out, flipping his dollar.

Jack was in deep thought. “I have heard that name before.”

His friend laughed at him. “You ought to have. According to the history books he was the second fastest gun alive, next to John Wesley Hardin.”

Sam looked up and saw that the Bradys were chuckling. They thought it was going to happen. An antsy Jack got up and walked out. The kid was there. Jack asked, “Do you have a doctor in town?”

The kid pointed to a white building. “The doctor’s office is there. You go up the outside stairs.” The boy gave him a derisive laugh. “Why, mister? You get a sudden injury?”

An angry Jack hit him in the head. He heard a click of a gun. He turned and got knocked down to the ground by a fist from the sheriff. The sheriff looked down at Jack, ready to draw. Jack raised his hands quickly. He claimed he had a broken hand and was going to the doctor.

The sheriff argued, “But not so bad to hit a little kid?” He escorted him to the doctor’s office.

The doctor shook his head. “This hand is not broken. It is fine.”

The sheriff smiled. “I’ll be sure to inform Ringo and the mortician of the good news.”

Jack went to replace his men. “We have to ambush Ringo. We can’t let him interfere with our job.” His friends all laughed at him. Jack yelled, “I’m the boss! You will do what I tell you.” They planned the ambush. Jack wandered up to Boot Hill.

Ringo followed him at a distance. Jack turned around and made sure nobody was around. He turned to face Ringo and held his hands up in the air. Jack yelled, “Take him out.” Two of his men shot Ringo in the back.

He heard a donkey and turned to see the Dutchman. He smirked. “Well, old man, I guess you’re going to join him.”

The Dutchman laughed. “Not if you want to replace my mine.” He tossed a two-pound rock of almost pure gold. Jacks eyes stared at the rock and smiled.

Sam whispered to Jack. “You can’t let him go back to town. They will replace out you murdered Ringo.”

Jack looked at his men. “Go in to town and buy supplies for two weeks. We will go into the Superstition Mountains with our new pal, the Dutchman. Grab the little girl; that will keep our friends, the Bradys, at a distance.”

The sheriff sat with the Bradys in the saloon. He waited for Ringo to get back and order a coffin for Jack. He also watched a bunch of men playing poker two tables over. He suddenly pulled his gun and shot one right between the eyes. He missed Dave’s ear by an inch and scared the crap out of Dave.

The sheriff laughed. “He has one of those new-fangled card holders up his right sleeve.” They checked him; he did. The sheriff yelled, “Get him out of here, boys.” About ten men stampeded to carry him out to an empty wagon out front. Mrs. B. looked at the sheriff with a confused look.

He explained, “Everyone who helps carry out the dead guys gets a free shot of Red Eye.” The wagon just sat there. Everyone looked at the sheriff. “Oh. We usually wait until we have five bodies. Sometimes it takes a whole hour. That’s why we park Old Charley in the shade.”

Snowflake flew in. She shocked the sheriff. Brady chuckled, “She is our pet owl.” He figured Victoria would be right behind her. Brady spoke to the owl. “Is Victoria coming?”

He got two agitated hoots.

“Is she in trouble?”

He got one hoot.

“Is she hurt?”

He got two hoots.

“Do our friends have her?”

He got one hoot.

“Is she in danger?”

He got two hoots.

The sheriff laughed. “The owl understands you?”

He got one hoot.

Mrs. B. looked confused, “She is not in danger? Is someone there to protect her?”

She got one hoot.

She looked around, “But we are all here.”

She got two hoots. “Well, do you know where they are?”

The owl looked towards the black forbidding mountains and hooted softly once.

Matt shivered. “My God, they must be looking for the Lost Dutchman Mine. The area covers 250 square miles.”

The boy came running in. “Someone shot Johnny Ringo in the back! He is dead, Sheriff.”

The sheriff stood up. “Well, we know what happened there. He got dry gulched.”

The boy continued, “The leader sent two men into town to get supplies for two weeks. They also have a gun on the Dutchman. He even shot one of his own men who challenged him. They took your little girl mister.”

Matt nodded to the sheriff. “They are going for the old timer’s gold mine. We are going with you, Sheriff.”

The pleased sheriff nodded. “We have to hurry. If they get into the mountains, the Apache will not let them leave, especially if they replace gold.”