The End of the Beginning
Chapter 30: Help Him

BLOC Section, Base Tranquility

Sunday, April 18, 2027

Sometimes I wonder why we even bother rescuing the good when they always seem to be hurt in the end, especially now that this new evil rises. The best of humanity has finally mounted its defense, only to be met once again by an attack of the worst. Why bother when some always continue to hurt? Why? Why must the good always suffer?

After the Coast Guard rescued my grandfather and I from our home I thought we had beaten a cruel fate but only one of us eventually would. Even though rescued by good, he was still taken by evil, evil that I could have stopped. My grandfather died for nothing, just as hundreds now do at the hands of these monsters. So much waste. Now I replace myself struggling to help replace some way to stop this new evil, knowing I’ve been beaten by it before… “Captain,” Dr. Frydryck called. “Captain, are you alright?”

“Mhmm, oh, yes. Sorry doctor,” sputtered William, straightening up on the couch.

“So, this is our third meeting. How are you doing Will?” asked Dr. Frydryck.

It was indeed their third session. William’s two weeks of academic-only training were over and was poised to start in the Yard that coming Monday.

“Doctor, I’m doing… well,” William sighed comfortably. “I haven’t had a panic attack since my first day here - ” “Which was over three weeks ago, yes?”

“Right.”

“And you say your nightmares are decreasing in frequency?”

“Yeah, the last one I had was five days ago.”

“Excellent.” Dr. Frydryck wrote something down on a plastic clipboard that had a New Orleans Saints logo on it. William was not much of a sports fan. He only recognized it because he was from New Orleans himself.

“Now, Captain Emerson, tell me how your first two weeks have been? What have you learned?”

“It was a little weird being in uh… school again, I guess. I have always liked learning and most of the subjects are really interesting but some are kinda boring. Maybe it’s the teachers.” They both laughed.

“UNIRO Structure and Organization with Dr. Smith?” asked Dr. Frydryck.

“Yeah, that’s it! Oh man, she’s bad.”

“I fell asleep many times in it. Don’t be ashamed,” laughed the doctor, slapping his knee.

“I have almost, too. But, no, really, it has been great and it has kept me very busy. This base has a lot to know about it. It could keep someone asking questions for years. It’s kept me busy to the point where I am exhausted by the end of the day but I don’t want to stop. I just want to keep going to do more things and meet new people. I like the distraction. I need it.” “Uh huh,” said Dr. Frydryck, writing something down on his pad. “Why do you say that Captain?”

“Because I still doubt. What I can rise to be, what people want me to be, what they see me as. My doubt makes me see what I am starting to feel as some dream or… illusion.” “What are you starting to feel?”

“Confidence,” smiled William, “more so than I can ever remember. People compliment me and look up to me, I think, and that’s a good feeling, especially since I think of myself as not being worth much to look up to, not yet at least. Like my second in command for instance, Lieutenant Jeon. He will not stop saying things about me to others at training or dinner, but good things, you know, like what a good leader I am or how cool our squadron will be and stuff. He won’t stop about me.” “Well, he has a lot to look up to. Captain, has anyone ever told you that you need to give yourself more credit?”

“Yeah, actually,” William chuckled.

“Then they are right. It is okay to think of yourself as good or respectable, especially a person in your position. When people see you being confident, which you say you are starting to feel, and when you’re in a position of leadership, that confidence can be infectious and disseminate through a group such as a squadron. Your work has been great so far and you’re acclimating well back into society. You’re allowed to be proud of that and show it.” “It’s just, well, when I was in the Air Force with the pararescuers, I was not humble. I was a cocky, stubborn son of a bitch who was arrogant as hell. I wanted to save everyone and was, frankly, willing to sacrifice anyone to do that, even my own men.” “And why was that, Captain? Why were you arrogant?”

The doctor leaned forward on his couch and put his elbow on his knee and rested his head on his hand. William felt he should not have said that but with Dr. Frydryck things just came out. This was getting very personal for William but he could do it, he was ready. Air in his throat started to pass through more easily as he accepted he should disclose his past.

“I was arrogant because, because I wanted to overcome… Umm, I’m sorry doctor. This is hard.”

“Take your time, Captain. You don’t need to say anything you don’t want to. Remember, this is all confidential too, no one hears all this but you and I.” William started to sweat a little and became fidgety on his couch cushion; then he grabbed a pillow and held it on his lap, as if trying to hide what he wanted to say behind it. The med-bracelet was pulsating. But he knew he had to tell, to say his past to rebuild his future. It was not to be botched up anymore.

“In my war days I had a vendetta against death itself, a vengeance against it.”

“Why pick such a fight?”

“I challenged it with every life I saved as retribution for the lives it stole from me. You remember, in our first meeting, I told you I left New Orleans as a refugee.” “Yes.”

“Well, my home wasn’t the only thing I lost to the storm.”

“Your grandparents…”

William’s eyes began tearing. “Yes…”

“Get up to the attic!”

“My leg is trapped! Rob, my leg!”

“Poppy, don’t leave me!”

“Tracy, no…”

William closed his eyes and turned away. Dr. Frydryck didn’t say anything. He put his pen and clipboard down on the table.

“My grandmother drowned in our own home. Our home budded up against the Seventeenth Street Canal, against the portion that broke…” “Take Will and run! Get up to the attic…”

“Around six o’clock in the morning I think, the levee gave way. In seconds the wave broke through the back of our home. Glass shattered and furniture was pushed over. It was like a tsunami. We tried to get to the attic but my grandmother got pinned under a wall unit in the hallway that led to the attic door. My grandfather tried to free her over and over again, all the while water rising higher and higher. I jumped in to, from the attic, and tried to pull her out. My grandfather pushed me away, but I kept swimming back. The current was so strong that it cracked our home right in half, right through the hallway we were all in. I watched…” “The house is giving way Rob. Take William. Get him to safety, for me! Get him out of this city so I can go with some peace.” “No! I’m getting you - ”

“Rob. I’m going to die. William mustn’t…”

“My grandfather tried until the water was going over his head. I watched her drown. The home broke apart and the part she was pinned in floated down the street and collapsed. Her body was never found.” “I’m so sorry Captain. An experience of that gravity is something no one should have to go through. Her death was not your fault though. She died because of Hurricane Katrina and its devastation, not because of any failings of you or your grandfather.” William grew irritated. “For years I took it that way though. She was stolen from me. I wanted to take revenge by rescuing anyone I could, to make them avoid what had happened to me, no matter the cost. Whether that cost was to my team, or me, it did not matter. I couldn’t back down from anyone needing help. I was arrogant to my own mortality. Over the bridge I… We… We weren’t supposed…” “You weren’t supposed to what, Will?”

“Never mind. Point is, my judgment was clouded by a vengeful anger that I hid with rescue, getting lucky over and over again that I didn’t lose anyone with my recklessness to get things done… ’til Incheon.” “I’m glad you channeled your grief into something positive, and brave. Many that have been down your path take a much darker route. You used your anger to give back to the world. You chose to save, Captain.” William turned his head and looked at Dr. Frydryck. “Most of that vengeance didn’t come from my grandmothers death though, it came because of my grandfathers.” “Why? Did the storm not take him as well?”

“No,” said William sorrowfully, tears building again. “The wind and water did not take him. He lived. He lived.”

“Then, forgive me. I do not understand what happened.”

“He is the one I could have saved. He never should I have died. I cowered in a corner and watched as he…”

“Get away from him! Will, run...”

“The Super Dome was supposed to be a place of safety. It was anything but.”

William threw the pillow he was holding as tears dripped down his face. He left the room, slamming the door behind him. Dr. Frydryck sighed deeply as he looked to the ceiling.

“Please… help him.”