The Game Of Quadruplet Mates
Chapter 23

I don't know how long I was in that state, hugging myself in some corner of this big house. The tears wouldn't stop spilling, the shaking wouldn't stop and there was this weight on my chest that just wouldn't cease. The exhaustion I felt made it seem like it had been a very long time, but maybe I was just feeling everything finally catching up with me. Because it has been a lot. From standing in front of so many people in the Assembly to suddenly being here, mated and marked and in a totally different place than I thought I would be.

And then this.

Her.

I did not know what to think.

I did not even want to think.

Thinking hurt.

Thinking about them hurts. "June?"

I looked up but I couldn't see clearly as the tears blurred my vision, but I knew that voice. My heart beats for that voice. I knew him because he's always been there for me. The good and the bad times. Wiping the tears away, I get to see a hint of those baby blue eyes that I've come to adore.

"What happened?" He came to my side almost immediately, dropping to his knees and pulling me into a tight embrace. "You're so cold."

The tears only poured even more at his soft words and the warmth he gave. I couldn't speak, I couldn't form the words.

When I don't respond, he doesn't push for answers, merely holding me closer to him. "Everything is going to be okay."

With Jeremy, it always feels like everything will get better or the problems aren't as big as they seem. His presence is calming and reassuring, like nothing was too big for him.

Maybe that's why he's the Beta.

He's dependable and a sure thing.

"Do you want me to get the Alpha?" Jeremy offers quietly.

I shook my head. "No. I'm not ready to face him."

He hesitates, the slightest pause that reminds me of our position and how inappropriate this was, until he d am n s it all and tightens his arms around me. "Okay. We can stay right here."

It was horrible to imagine and wasn't fair to Ajax, but I wonder then what would have happened if Jeremy really claimed me that day. If he really stood up and called for me. The foolish part of me knows I would have agreed. I would have fought the world to agree but that's not what happened and now here we are. Luna and a Beta.

Titles aside, we were still the same.

The lost girl and the boy that took her out of it.

But nothing would come of it, for that was another life, a different time.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." I said through my sniffling, pulling away from him and giving us a little space.

At the distance I put between us, his eyes glanced down at me, a flash of pain glowing in his eyes before it was gone. "Are you sure you don't want to wait for the Alpha-"

"Jeremy, please. I can't see him right now." I begged, biting my lower lip nervously... desperately. "I don't want to know yet."

"What do you-" Suddenly, my words seemed to answer the questions that he hadn't asked, his eyes refocusing. "Oh."

And I know he knows what happened or at least has an idea now. "Yes."

He stared into my eyes, his expression guarded. "What did she say?"

The more accurate question was, what has Ajax failed to tell me? But I stayed quiet, utterly spent.

Jeremy frowns, looking very conflicted. "June, it's not what you think."

I didn't want to hear it. Not right now when I think I might explode. "No. Let me just... get myself together again."

"Okay." He helped me up, blue eyes still looking unsure, but he was determined and willing enough to do anything for me. Like always. "What if I took you to see the lake? To get some air?"

My knees shook as I stood but Jeremy kept me steady. "I don't know,"

"And if we see her, I'll throw her off the mountain." He says with a small smile.

I looked around the house, realizing I was in a small nook, hidden between two large couches. I can't even remember how I got here, but now that I'm standing up, seeing the house and seeing Ajax all over it, the need to get away was staggering. "Is it far?" Jeremy smiles, the same smile that warms my heart. "No."

I hesitate, questioning the warmth in my chest. A different kind of worry came to me and it was all because of Jeremy. "Maybe we shouldn't."

Stunned, Jeremy visibly swallows. "Are you scared I might do something?"

The answer was instant. "No."

"What is it then?" He asks, his voice so soft that I almost miss it. "Because you look like you're afraid that I'll do something to you."

"I don't... I don't trust us." I said honestly, my eyes fluttering closed. "We're friends but how is this better than what Ajax is doing with that girl?"

"He's not doing anything," Jeremy stops, seeing my expression and quickly changes the topic. "He's my Alpha. I would never do anything to hurt him, even if it's hurting me."

And I could see it.

The hurt that he's been holding back.

I suddenly remember how he walked out of the Assembly as I begged him to stay, how he looked so distraught, how stone cold he was when he came into Ajax's room when I was first claimed, how he tried to ignore me so many times until... until he saw I needed him.

Each time he came to help me, despite how much it hurt him.

There was one thing I wanted to know and this would either give us the closure we need or give us more pain. It would probably be both. "Jeremy, I need to ask you something."

"What is it?" He asked despite sounding like he didn't want to know my question.

"Were you going to claim me in the Assembly?" I could see it so clearly, the way he was standing up, the way his hand was out, his lips parted as if saying my name. "Was it all in my mind or were you choosing me too?"

Jeremy sucked in a pained breath. A second went by, followed by another and another before he managed to nod. The motion was so hesitant, so tentative that I barely saw it. He does not say anything out loud. I doubt he ever will.

I held my breath, knowing my next question. "Did he stop you?"

Blue eyes looked everywhere but at me. "He never said the words."

"But he did." It wasn't even a question anymore. I just... knew. "Ajax stopped you."

Jeremy swallows again, his jaw tight and his throat constricting. "He wanted you."

"And you chose your loyalty to your Alpha." Over me. I almost added but held myself back.

Apparently, I didn't have to say it because he already knows. "June,"

I played with my hands, my heart beating wildly on my chest. "No, it's admirable if not for my expense. He's your Alpha. I understand that."

"But I wanted you." He was whispering but his feelings never sounded so loud. It shook me like it was shaking him. "I had it all planned out, to choose you. I even told everyone, I even told him. You and I... we had a connection. Almost instantly. And I knew it was you. I knew I was going to claim you."

He stops and when he opens his mouth again, I am left feeling like there's a hole in my chest.

"Until I couldn't. Until I didn't."

I managed a sad smile. This did not help. This made it worse. "Maybe we're real destined soulmates in another life."

"Maybe. I don't believe in those things. They're myths and legends, but this, you, I'll believe that." And the way he says it, it was like shooting a rocket in my heart.

The smile fell from my lips as my heart began to ache. "In another life. A life where we choose each other."

His blue eyes shined bright with meaning. "I think about it sometimes.... most times."

"What? About being mates?" I wanted to stop us then, to stop this conversation before it was too late, but I think we were already long past that.

It was his turn to smile sadly. "What if I claimed you that day and we ran away together?"

I shook my head, laughing a little. "We wouldn't get far. He'd kill us."

Jeremy and I weren't touching, a couch away from each other, but the way he looked at me made it seem like we were, his warmth immense. "He'd kill me. Not you. He'd never lay a hand on you. Which I guess... makes it okay that he has you in the end." Hugging myself, I leaned against the wall. "Because he won't ever hit me?"

He shakes his head. "Because he loves you so much that he won't let anything happen to you- won't choose anyone else but you. I... I didn't choose you. And that's the end of that."

"Jeremy," I whispered, confused, more confused than when we first started. I had hoped this would close all doors to him, that talking would make us understand that it was over, but the doors only seemed to open wider. I regret it.

I should never have asked.

We were better off not confirming, never knowing.

"Let's get some air now." Jeremy tells me before I can say more.

In truth, he saved me from saying something that would ruin us both, that would bury us in a way that we would never recover from. "Okay. The lake?"

"The lake." He confirmed, stepping to the side to let me pass.

The distance between us is respectable, far enough that nothing could be said, yet how was it that I still felt him near? Felt his warmth?

Jeremy never made things difficult for me. He always has this ease with him, a comfort, and I'm drawn to it like a fly, blurring the lines drawn. My heart is left with even more confusion... trying to understand who it beats for.

I definitely know who it belongs to, but my heart is fickle and I can't seem to control it.

As we walk out the house, the tense air around us subsides and I feel the tightness of my chest fade. We walked quietly like nothing happened, though I know things have changed.

But in the end, Jeremy and I have both made our choice.

And it was not each other.

"We'll get there faster if we shift." Jeremy says as we make it to the trees.

My eyes widened, feeling nervous. "I don't mind walking."

He turns, noticing my reluctance. "What's wrong?"

I played with my fingers, trying to hide my anxiousness. "I've... uhm, I don't usually shift so,"

"It's painful. You're not used to it." Jeremy answered for me, understandingly. He didn't even make a fuss, didn't even question how a werewolf who can shift doesn't. "You're welcome to ride me instead."

A numbing silence went through us before he put his hand out.

"I meant, ride my wolf," His face turned red. "No, that doesn't sound right at all! I meant since you prefer not to shift, would you rather get on the back of my wolf?"

He lets out a tired sigh, his face the color of a tomato.

Running a hand down his face, Jeremy looked at me pleadingly. "That doesn't sound right either, but you understand, right? Please say you understand."

I decided to take him out of his misery. "As fun as it was to see you panic, I do understand what you meant."

As if to hide away his embarrassment, he shifts into his wolf. I gaped with wonder as a wolf with fur of light ash appeared before me, remnants of clothes falling all around us. Jeremy's wolf form was as beautiful as his human form, his fur luscious and his eyes bright, the baby blue eyes of his were more prominent.

It's like I'm seeing him for the very first time again, when he arrived at the Assembly and all I could see was him.

It made me think about our earlier conversation, how we could be destined soulmates but we just don't know it. Maybe.

Jeremy bows his head low, allowing me to easily mount his back. I grasp his mane, my fingers gripping chunks of soft fur and very clumsily pull myself up his back. Jeremy gently boosts me by using his shoulder to help me up. I swing my leg over and replace myself on top of the world.

'Ready?' He asked through the mind link, his voice gentle and excited at the same time.

My heart was in my throat. 'Ready!

Before I can even get the word out, Jeremy is running through the trees. Everything is a blur of green and blue as we jump through streams and thick forests. I held on tight, keeping low so the branches didn't hit me on the face.

As promised, it didn't take long at all before Jeremy stops in front of a beautiful lake. It was so clear that I could see the rocks under the water and the colorful fishes that swam around. I immediately felt at peace, sliding down from Jeremy's back to the ground. I replace myself sitting down by the water, my hands in the water. Behind me, I hear Jeremy shift back into his human form, and after much ruffling around, he sits down beside me, tight shorts covering his intimate parts.

We didn't talk for a while, admiring the beauty of the lake in silence. But then the need for answers starts to stir something inside me and I give in.

"Did they have a relationship?" I asked without facing him.

He glanced at me, eyes taking in my expression before answering. "No, they didn't."

"Don't lie to me, Jeremy." I shook my head as I hugged myself. "Stop protecting him."

Jeremy sucks in a breath. "The last thing I want to do right now is to lie for him. There's nothing going on."

I turned to look at him, seeing only truth in his blue eyes. "Then why is she like that? Why did she make it sound like I was replacing her?"

"She was one of the first," Jeremy explains, getting comfortable against a tree. "A founding member of this pack. Way back when the Alpha was younger, before he was an Alpha and before he even met me, he rescued Moira from her pack and, like the rest of us, he took her under his wing. I suppose she thought they would be together after so many years of being by his side, but Ajax isn't interested in mates or women. He's never been about that and has told us this repeatedly, but when he chose you... I guess it hurt her a little."

It sounded innocent enough, admirable for Ajax to save her and others, but the way she spoke, there seemed to be more. "How sure are you that nothing happened between them?"

Jeremy cracks a smile, understanding my distrust. "Very sure. I have never even seen Ajax look at any woman the way he looks at you. Frankly, I thought he was gay or the ones that just don't replace anything attractive, but then... he saw you and was immediately obsessed."

As much as I tried to fight it, my cheeks flushed. Relief washes over me, making my tense shoulders relax as I let out a sigh. It's definitely comforting to know that there's nothing between them and, by the sound of it... he's never had anyone else just like he said. He didn't lie.

And I let myself think the worst.

"Do you know that the house wasn't even furnished before you came?" Jeremy continues, throwing a rock into the lake and watching it sink below. "At most he had a bed, maybe a chair or two, but the moment he chose you he had everyone come to fix things for when you came home with him. He wanted it perfect and the entire plane ride going here was him dedicating time to making sure it was."

Again my heart flutters, a blush creeping up my cheeks. All this time... the plane ride where I was ignoring him and he was always talking to someone or buried in paperwork, that was for me? For the house? But then, something confused me. My eyebrows knitted together as I tried to wrap my head around his words. "What were your plans for the Games? Because it sounds like everything that happened was at the last minute."

It was the first time Jeremy stalled, his eyes widening as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to tell me. "Originally, we were ordered to go to the Games to attack it, to make a mess of the tradition, but the Alpha stopped us."

This came as a surprise to me. "Why?"

Jeremy shrugs like this wasn't news. "He hates the Games."

"No, I mean why did he stop the attack?" I clarified, coming closer to him and just too intrigued to let this go.

He takes his time to think. "I didn't ask, no one really asked. All I know is that the Alpha wasn't supposed to come and then suddenly he was at the Games and choosing you."

There were so many holes to the story, pieces that didn't fit the puzzle, I had multiple questions that needed answers and the one who had them was my mate.

My hands in the water, I let it soothe the last of my worries. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and right as I did, a shadow loomed over me like a storm cloud about to unleash a typhoon or, more accurately, a mountain ready to start an avalanche. It wasn't even amber eyes that greeted me.

It was black.

Ajax stood over me like a pillar of stone, standing between Jeremy and I. His body pulsed with an energy that forced anyone near to bend to him. It didn't help that his face was marred with blood, splatters of red dripping down his neck and down his clothes. He had a way of darkening any bright place, taking the air and life with him. And when he spoke, he shook the entire valley we were on like a God threatening to destroy us all. "What are you two doing here?"

The growl that left Ajax's chest was vicious, de a d l y... monstrous. I've never seen him this angry before, not even during the Assembly when he broke Pete's arm and choked Cora.

I know he would never hurt me, but I still inch away from him, his presence making me submit.

His dark eyes replace Jeremy and Ajax begins to shake, the edges of his body blurring with a shift. "What were you thinking? I told you to take care of my mate, not whisk her away to wherever you please."

Jeremy was quick to stand, keeping his head down and taking the brunt of Ajax's anger. He doesn't bother to defend himself or explain, taking all of Ajax's words without ever looking up.

Ajax towered over Jeremy, his stance ready to attack- to kill. "I told you to let me know if anything happened to June but since you left the borders you have not said a word, have ignored my mind links when I asked about her."

The distraught expression on Jeremy's face pulls at my heart. I can't forget the way Jeremy spoke about Ajax. How Ajax saved him, how he considered Ajax as his brother.

Jeremy asked me many times if I wanted to call Ajax because that's what he was told to do and I said no.

I told Jeremy I didn't want to see Ajax.

And so he did what I asked, knowing well it would anger his Alpha.

"You are rapidly losing my trust!" Ajax's roared through the quiet lake, his voice causing ripples in the water. "You have disobeyed direct orders and all of them have been about my mate. I should have your head right now." I knew then that the only thing keeping Jeremy alive was their history together. Anyone else would already have been killed.

As frightened as I was, I couldn't help but defend Jeremy. "It's not his fault."

Ajax's head snaps in my direction, his black eyes focusing on me. "What?"

I fumbled with my words, his black eyes burning holes in my face. "I ordered him to take me here."

Ajax looks between Jeremy and I. And Ajax must have said something to Jeremy because Jeremy backs away, his head still bowed low before leaving the lake completely.

When I was sure Jeremy was far enough that Ajax wouldn't reach him, I swallowed and decided to tell the truth. "I needed to get out of your house."

"Our house." Ajax corrected, words biting. "It's our house."

"It didn't feel like it at that moment." I told him honestly. "I was... angry and I needed to get some air."

The anger in his eyes was replaced by sadness, by pain. "So you're running to my Beta for help but not me, your own mate? You want Jeremy. Is that it?"

"No, I just," The sound of his voice cracking makes me lose my train of thought.

"Do you love him?" Ajax asked, not holding back but flinching either way.

I gasped, taking a step back. "W-what?"

He's shaking, his entire body trembling. "Do you love my Beta?"

I did not know how to answer his question, but I felt like if I didn't answer now, I would lose Ajax forever.