The Girl Next Door
The Boy Next Door Chapter 51

I pull my BMW into the circular drive and park near the front entrance before cutting the engine, grabbing my duffle bag from the front seat and exiting the vehicle. It takes only a moment before I'm up the stairs two and punching in the code on the keypad. Once unlocked, I push open the front door and step inside the two-story foyer. As soon as I do, the scent of beef stroganoff hits me full force. I inhale a big breath, doubly glad I decided to get the hell out of Dodge. Even if it's only for the night.

Jenna pads through the hallway from the kitchen with a dish towel in her hands. Surprise lights up her eyes when she catches sight of me. "I thought I heard the front door." She closes the distance between us before rising up on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss against my cheek. I lean down, wanting to make it easier for her. Jenna tops out at five foot. Sometimes I like to tease her by asking what the weather is like down there. "Why didn't you tell me that you were coming home?"

"It was more of a spur-of-the-moment decision." When she continues to stare, scouring my face for answers, I admit, "Just needed to get away for a little."

"Well, I'm glad you decided to pop home." She waves me to the kitchen. "Dinner should be ready in about fifteen minutes, so you're just in time."

The closer we get to the kitchen, the more my mouth waters. If there's one thing I've missed while at college, it's Jenna's cooking. She's a culinary whiz in the kitchen. If you asked what my favorite dish was, I don't even think I could pick just one. There are way too many to choose from.

I beeline to the mini-fridge and grab an orange Gatorade before twisting off the cap and settling on a stool tucked beneath the massive marble island. After a quick swig, I ask, "Do you need any help?"

It looks like she's got about fifty things going on all at once. Jenna shakes her head before grabbing a strainer full of green beans and dumping them into the boiling water. The she's stirring the sauce and peeking in the oven to check the rolls. "Nope. Everything is almost done." Like I said-total culinary whiz.

I c**k my head, listening for other signs of life within the house. "Is Dad home?"

"Not yet." She shoots a glance over her shoulder. "He had a meeting that ran late but should be home soon."

I nod and pick at the label on the plastic bottle. As much as I've tried to shut out everything that happened this week, it continues to press in at the edges. If I thought I could escape it by coming home, I was wrong.

Jenna checks the noodles and green beans again. Satisfied that everything is coming along as it should, she picks up her glass of wine from the island and takes a sip as her gaze roves over my face again. "So, are you going to tell me what's going on or are you going to make me drag it from you?"

f**k.

Did I really expect anything less? All the woman has to do is look at me sideways and she knows there's a problem. If I was trying to run away from it all, this probably wasn't the place I should have gone. Unfortunately, it's too late.

I blow out a lengthy breath and try to decide how I'm going to handle this situation. I hate lying. Especially to Jenna. So I try a different tact. "I really don't want to talk about it," I mumble. "Isn't that why you came here?"

My gaze jerks to her and I realize that she's right...

Maybe I told myself it wasn't the reason, but it turns out that I was wrong. And Jenna knows it. Just like she always does. I drag a hand over my face, unsure where to begin. My life feels like one huge overwhelming mess. One I have no idea how to untangle. When I remain silent, her voice softens. "Does this have something to do with Alyssa?"

I shrug. "Yeah, I guess."

It's a relief when the timer on the microwave beeps and she swings away. Without her steady gaze watching me, I no longer feel like a bug under a microscope. Jenna strains both the noodles and green beans before taking the rolls from the oven and placing them on the counter to cool. Then she pulls out two plates, adds a heaping of both noodles and stroganoff along with a side of green beans and a roll before placing it in front of me. After making a plate for herself, she settles on a stool next to me at the island. I dig in, taking a forkful of noodles, meat, and mushrooms before stuffing it in my mouth. The first bite has my eyes feather closed. Even though Jenna raised me better than to talk with my mouth full, I can't resist saying, "Mmm, this is so good." Her lips quirk. "Glad you like it."

"Love it," I add, shoving in another bite.

"I'm sure there'll be leftovers. I'll package some for you to take for Beck."

I straight on the stool. "Screw Beck."

She chuckles. "No, thank you."

My lips tremble at the corners before I plow my way through my dinner. What is it about a homecooked meal that helps settle everything deep inside? Or maybe it's the company. "Feel better?"

I nod.

"Good. Want a second helping?"

I pat my belly. "If I eat another bite, I'll probably explode."

She grabs of our plates before dropping them off in the sink. Once she's settled next to me, I steel myself for what's coming next. "Tell me what's going on."

The question has everything inside me deflating.

"Come, now." Jenna reaches over and squeezes my hand. "It can't be that bad."

I force out a breath from my lungs. "It feels pretty damn bad."

"You know what I've found?" She doesn't wait for a response. "That when you keep everything bottled up inside, it always seems worse." She squeezes my hand. "Share it with me. Let's talk this out."

Unable to hold her gaze, mine drops to the white marble countertop. "I looked Candance up online." I give her a bit of side eye to catch her reaction, but her face remains impassive. As if I haven't just dropped a major bomb. I can't even remember the last time I brought her up. When she simply nods, I continue. "She's married." There's a pause as I push out the rest. "With two kids. Girls."

"I know. Your father has kept tabs on her over the years."

This information doesn't surprise me. I guess everyone knew about it but me. "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

"What would be the point? To inflict more hurt?"

My shoulders collapse at her astute assessment of the situation.

When I remain silent, lost in my own thoughts, her hand settles over mine before giving it a gentle squeeze. "Are you all right?"

I shrug. That's not even the worst part of it. I wish it were. "I reached out to her, and she emailed back, wanting to know if I would be interested in meeting."

Even though Jenna's expression never falters, her hand stills over mine. "And did you?"

"Yeah."

"And how did that go?"

"Awkward at first, but then we started talking, kind of getting to know each other again and it was...nice."

"I'm glad."

It makes perfect sense that Jenna would be happy for me. She's selfless that way. If having a relationship with Candance completed me in some way or made me happy, then she would be all for it.

"She asked a lot of questions. And I guess for a little bit, it felt like me reaching out, and then agreeing to meet, was a good idea." When my voice turns bitter, Jenna's fingers tighten around mine again. "Turns out that's not the case." "Don't say that. I'm sure she does care, Colton."

I snort out a laugh of disbelief. "Not enough."

"What happened? Because for a little bit there, it was all good, right?"

"Yeah." I drag my other hand over my face. Heat fills my cheeks as I force out the words. "I asked if I could meet her family." I jerk my shoulders defensively. "I couldn't get over the fact that I had halfsiblings out there. Ones I had never met." She lifts her hand to stroke my cheek. "I'm sure you like the idea."

"It doesn't really matter what I want." A fresh wave of pain crashes over me before threatening to drag me under. "Her husband isn't aware that she had another child and since it would be difficult to explain the situation after all these years, she's not really open to the idea of me being part of her or her kid's life.

"Oh, Colton." With the side of my face cupped in her palm, she closes the distance between, pressing her lips against my forehead before pulling me into a hug. My arms hang at my side as she squeezes me tight, anchoring me to her petite frame. "Candance hasn't been a part of my life in more than fifteen. I don't understand why this hurts so much."

"I'm sorry she did this to you." I don't have to catch a glimpse of her face to know that there are tears filling her eyes. I hear the thick emotion in her voice.

Jenna squeezes me even tighter as if she is somehow able to extract the pain from my body.

"Obviously we won't be seeing each other again."

She pulls away and I realize that I'm right about the tears as her gaze locks on mine. "You realize this has nothing to do with you, right?"

I shrug.

How could it not have everything to do with me?

This is twice now that I've been rejected by her.

Throw in Alyssa and you have a triple whammy.

Unwilling to have her bear witness to the pathetic emotion crashing around inside me, I turn my head away.

Unfortunately, Jenna is having none of it. She grips my chin with her fingers before manually turning my face toward hers.

"Don't you dare hide from me. I've been here since you were seven years old. Bandaging scraped knees, telling you to stop playing video games and do your homework, and making sure you were home before curfew."

I can't help but smile at the last one. Dad was strict about my a*s being in the house by curfew. Jenna always made sure to send me fifteen-minute warnings. She saved me on more than one occasion when it had slipped my mind. "You've been carrying all this hurt around with you for your entire life."

"That's not true." When I attempt to shake my head and deny the accusation, her fingers dig into my chin.

"Oh sweetie," her voice softens, "yes, you have. I remember the first time your father introduced me to you. We went to a park so that you could play on the equipment."

I sift through my memories but am unable to bring that one up.

It doesn't matter because she continues, filling in the blanks for me.

"You refused to play. You wouldn't leave your father's side."

A prickle of unease blooms in the pit of my belly.

"Warren kept encouraging you to play with the other kids, but you wouldn't do it. You were so afraid that he was going to leave you."

Just like Candance.

That prickle turns into full-on nausea. "It took years before you were willing to open up and let me in. Maybe you don't remember that, but I do. And ever since, the people in your life have had to earn your trust."

I attempt to blink away the heavy emotion so that it doesn't fall down my cheeks. It occurs to me that I've spent my entire life keeping everyone around me at a firm distance. Never wanting to feel too much. And yeah, running away rather than facing it head on. "You can't move forward if you're constantly looking back."

Maybe I didn't realize that's what I was doing, but I was. I was allowing Candance and the past to hold me back from people and experiences that could have been amazing.

"You know who I feel most sorry for?" When I shake my head, she continues. "Candance. She's the one missing out. You've grown into such an amazing man, Colton. And she missed out on that."

It takes effort to clear the emotion from my throat. "If I've turned out well, it's because you were here guiding me. You're the mother that she never was."

Or could be.

Fresh tears fill her dark eyes before trekking down her cheeks. "You made it easy. And I love you, Colton. I couldn't love you anymore if you were my own."

I pull her to me, this time wrapping my arms around her. "I love you, too."

When we finally pull away from one another, there's wetness on both our cheeks. Even though I feel like a big blubbery baby, I don't really care. With my hand held in hers, she settles next to me again on the stool before clearing her throat. "I know you've been adamant about not wanting to go to therapy, but it would be so helpful."

I jerk my shoulders. Normally, I've shot the idea the moment it was out of her mouth. I don't do that this time. "Maybe."

The idea of sitting in some strangers' office and pouring out my heart sounds terrible. But then again, I'm tired of dealing with it all on my own. Or maybe, the problem is that I've never dealt with it and it's been festering inside me for years. "Have you spoken to Alyssa about this? Does she know?"

Right. Alyssa. That's another problem. One I'm unsure how to solve.

f**k.

Maybe I do need to talk to someone.

I plow my hand through my hair. "She broke up with me the other day."

"Let me guess," Jenna says slowly, "you shut down and pushed her away after what happened with Candance."

Damn. Sometimes I think my stepmother knows me better than I know myself. Or maybe I should have done myself a favor and opened up to Jenna a long time ago. She's always been here, ready to listen and help. Whatever that might look like. "Nailed it," I mutter, feeling defeated.

With a huff of breath, she falls silent.

We both do.

"Can I assume that Alyssa is the girl you were involved with sophomore year?"

I narrow my eyes. "Sometimes you frighten me."

She snorts out a laugh and it lightens the mood between us.

"If Alyssa is worth it-really worth it-then you need to be honest with her. I know it's scary to be vulnerable with another person. The easiest thing to do is throw up walls and keep people out, but in the end, it's a lonely place to be. I think you realize that now." My throat closes up as the sound of my beating heart fills my ears, drowning out everything else. "I don't want to be hurt again." Barely am I able to force out the words.

"I know." Jenna's lips lift into a sympathetic smile. "But isn't this girl worth taking a chance on?"

When I remain silent, she says, "Think about it, Colton.