The Girl Next Door
The Boy Next Door Chapter 33

For what feels like the hundredth time, I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling in the darkness that fills the bedroom. Even though I glanced at the clock on the nightstand less than two minutes ago, my gaze flickers in that direction again. It's after midnight. If it were simply a matter of closing my eyes and allowing my mind to wander until sleep took over, I would do it in a heartbeat. Instead, every time I close my eyes, an image of Colton materializes in my mind. No matter how much I try, I can't stop thinking about him. I can't deny that this Colton...the one who prepared dinner for me tonight is different than the guy I dated a year and a half ago. It's not that I don't think people can grow and change. Of course, they can. I'd like to think that I've matured somewhat over the years. But am I necessarily ready to take the risk only to wind up hurt again?

That's a complicated question with an even more complicated answer.

The unnerving part is that it shouldn't be. After the way he treated me, I should be completely immune to his charms. But Colton has always been my Kryptonite. That, unfortunately, hasn't changed.

A month ago, when I was living in London, life had seemed so much clearer.

Now?

Now I'm a confused mess.

If I had any brains whatsoever, I'd stay as far away from Colton as I could get. And even that wouldn't be enough distance.

He's been carefully chipping away at my resistance and I'm afraid that tonight might have truly weakened me. What I can't do is allow him to realize that.

Just as I flop over onto my side and squeeze my eyes tight, willing myself to replace sleep, my phone chimes with an incoming message. Even before I look at the screen, I know who it's from. It's like he can sense my vulnerable state even though we're nowhere near each other.

Don't do it!

Don't you dare do it!

Ignore him.

I hold out for roughly ten seconds before rolling over and reaching for my phone.

I had a great time tonight. Hope you realize I won't give up easily.

My breath escapes in a rush as I pour over the message half a dozen times.

His words scare the hell out of me. Deep down inside, I know they're true. He won't give up. Colton will continue to pursue me until I give in. As tempted as I am to do just that, I'm terrified he'll hurt me in the end.

The day he broke up with me, it felt as if someone reached into my chest, wrapped their hand around my beating heart, and ripped it free. There's no way I can go through that again.

Colton meant everything to me. More than I imagined possible. Until he threw it all away. Until he threw me away. The darkness that had fallen over me had been all-encompassing. I'd had to fight my way free and that had taken time and determination.

To allow Colton back into my life again simply because he says he's changed has the potential to undermine all the progress I've made. It also means taking a chance that he'll crush my heart without a second thought. I've known him since we were kids. He's never been the kind of guy to get serious with one specific girl. Until me.

And look how that turned out?

It had been a disaster.

But there's something about Colton.

If I'm being truthful with myself, there's always been something about Colton.

Instead of placing the phone on the nightstand where it belongs, I carefully type out a response.

I had a good time, too. Thank you.

Am I going to ignore the second part of the message?

Absolutely.

As soon as I press send, another text pops up within seconds.

I meant everything I said, Lys.

I release the pent-up breath from my lungs as everything weakens inside me. He knows the nickname pulls at my heartstrings and he's using it against me.

I need time.

Then that's what I'll give you.

I chew my lower lip and set the phone down before turning my back to it.

Another hour drags by and I'm still wide awake. Even though my body feels tired from a long week of classes, dancing, and teaching, I can't turn off the thoughts that continue to churn through my head. I can't stop my body from craving the one guy who pushed me to my limits.

I roll over and snatch the phone again. Even though I know it's a mistake, I type out a message and hit send. My heart riots painfully under my b****t as I wait for a response. One minute slowly stretches into two and still, there's no answer. For all I know, he's sleeping and won't get it until the morning.

God knows it would be better that way.

A fresh wave of humiliation crashes over me. I should have held strong and not given in.

Ugh.

Irritated with myself, I drop the phone on the nightstand and roll over. No more thinking about Colton. He needs to go back to being a stupid mistake I made in my past and nothing more.

Detachment, that's exactly what I need.

It's the light knocking on the apartment door that has my eyes springing open. My heart leaps as I throw off the covers and roll from bed before padding through the hallway and living room into the entryway. It's only when I reach for the lock that I hesitate and consider the consequences of my actions.

Is this truly what I want?

To allow Colton in again?

Not just the apartment but my heart?

My life?

It takes effort to still the nerves that churn inside my belly. Maybe I'm unsure that's the best course of action, but something is urging me to take a cautious step in that direction.

As I twist the lock and open the door, I'm hit with a punch of arousal. "Hi."

The corners of his lips lift as he echoes the sentiment, "Hey."

His blond hair is tousled, and I'm ridiculously tempted to plow my fingers through the strands that are longer on top and shaved on the sides. A Wesley Wildcats T-shirt stretches across his chest as black athletic shorts hang from lean hips. When I remain silent, too busy eating him up with my eyes, he asks, "Can I come in?"

I blink out of those thoughts as a punch of heat hits my cheeks. The most I can hope for is that it's too dark inside the apartment for him to witness the effect he has on me. The last thing I want to do is stroke his already inflated ego or give him any more confidence. Especially where I'm concerned.

In silence, I step aside, allowing him entrance. As he brushes against me, the familiar woodsy scent from earlier this evening wafts around me, cocooning me in the past. In the memories I still hold dear. All I want to do is close my eyes and inhale a big breath of him. Instead, I lock the door to the apartment behind him.

If Mia were here, there's no damn way I would be doing this. My bestie cautioned me about getting together with him the first time. She was afraid that he would hurt me and sadly, she was right.

A groan bubbles up in my throat as I reevaluate the merits of my decision. Let's face it, choices made after midnight are generally questionable by nature. Maybe I haven't been drinking, but this falls neatly into that category.

I've been hesitant to tell Mia what's been going on with Colton. Mostly because I've been too busy denying that I still have feelings for him. If I utter the words out loud, that will only make them more real. Even now, as he stands inside my apartment at one o'clock in the morning, I'm unsure if I'm ready to take that leap.

Whether he realizes it or not, this is the guy who changed everything for me. My life can be neatly broken up into two segments. A before Colton and after Colton. I'm way more cautious than I was before. What Colton taught me is that I'm not as bulletproof as I once suspected.

And yet, that's still not enough to stop me from grabbing his hand when he hesitates in the dining room. A sizzle of awareness shoots through me at the innocuous contact. The energy we always seem to generate is part of the attraction. I'm like an i***t moth to a flickering flame that will ultimately lead to its demise. That knowledge isn't enough to stop the onslaught of emotions from hurtling to the surface.

Sometimes I wonder if he feels it too or if it's all one-sided. Given the easy manner in which he walked away makes me suspect that it's all me. Once inside my room, I release his hand, allowing mine to fall back to my side.

He grabs the hem of his shirt and drags it partway up his rock-solid abdomen before pausing. "Is that all right if I take off my shirt and shorts?"

My mouth turns bone dry as I jerk my head into a tight nod.

He yanks the soft cottony material over his head before dropping it carelessly to the floor. The shorts get removed next. Once they are added to the small pile, he stands in front of me wearing nothing more than form-fitting boxers. Even in the shadowy darkness of the room, I'm able to make out the hard ridges and contours of his muscular body.

I stand rooted in place, simply drinking him in. Colton's body is spectacular. Football and a rigorous weightlifting program have molded his physique into a thing of beauty. Instead of being bulky like a lineman, he's long and lean. His body was built for quickness and speed.

As I shake myself out of those thoughts, I realize that he's studying me with an equal amount of intensity. My muscles tense as air gets trapped in my lungs making it impossible to breathe.

His gaze is like a physical caress and my body reacts accordingly. When my n*****s tighten, poking through the thin fabric of the tank top, I lift my arms self-consciously to cover them. Before I can fully wrap them around myself, Colton reaches out, halting the movement. "Don't. I want to look at you." There's a pause as his voice turns rough, sounding as if it's been scraped from the bottom of the ocean. "I've missed this."

Hesitantly, I lower my arms and stand ramrod straight, allowing him to look his fill. I've never been embarrassed of my body. I've spent my entire life in a leotard. I'm used to scathing remarks from teachers. I've become almost deaf to the criticism. But this...

I want Colton to like what he sees. The appreciative gleam filling his eyes tells me that he does.

This time, when he extends his hand, it never occurs to me not to take hold of it. With one tug, he pulls me toward the bed. He climbs in first before turning on his side. Once he's settled, I crawl in next to him until our bodies are perfectly aligned. His bigger one curling protectively around my smaller one. One of his arms bands around me, locking me in place. For the first time in what feels like forever, contentment fills every fiber of my being.

Now that Colton is holding me in his arms, I realize this is the reason I couldn't fall asleep. I needed him here with me. Even though I've spent all this time fighting against him, trying to break free of the hold he has on me, it turns out that I've been fighting myself as well. It's a relieve to finally drop the pretense.

At least for the night.