The Second Hand Man
July 29th, 1970

It is exactlyone year since Hannah Marnowijk’s tragic passing.

MartaMarnowijk was released shortly after the enquiry into Tallis’ unsavory methodsof extracting information.

It seems,that in her particular case, he had decided to go outside the book in a numberof areas in order to extract the confession that he had so strongly believed tobe the, only possible and, undeniable truth.

He was luckythe incident had not cost him his job. What it did get him was a three monthsuspension without any pay.

I guess itcouldn’t have been all that bad though, considering that he had only recentlyreceived a substantial bonus for his excellent detective work – although alsooutside of the book!

Marta soldthe bakery to a Hollander with a thick Dutch accent. It was either out ofrespect for the old owner, but probably because it was just too much damntrouble to change, that he kept the old name – Marnie’s Bakery & Dry Goods.Although he continues to bake a lot of the stuff that the Marnowijk’s did, I amsorry to say that his custard slices aren’t quite up to spec; I think theprevious owner added a drop of almond essence to create the unique flavor.

The new guydoes happen to make a damn good apple-crumble. And my mother thinks his cheesecake is to die for.

Under thecircumstances, I thought it was an inappropriate term to use; by the expressionon her face, I think she realized it as well!

The last Iheard about Marta was that she had moved out to Philly to stay either with, ornearby to, her now only child, Ruth.

I honestlydon’t remember her eldest daughter at all. I often wonder if she possesses anyof Hannah’s attractive…qualities?

Inretrospect, I realize that I had made a mistake in thinking I could improveHannah’s life by removing, what I considered to be, her greatest obstacle tohappiness – when in fact, it was that very same obstacle that was the focus ofher goal to happiness; her dream; her joy; her hope!

Of all thethings that she had longed for in life, the most important prize to her was,not a $50 music box, but her father’s unconditional love.

And althoughhe may never have given it to her, she never once stopped believing or gave upher fight in the hope of eventually gaining his appreciation and acceptance.No, not even when he had accused her of selling herself had she ever onceconsidered to give up her constant struggle.

I hadfoolishly and thoughtlessly allowed my hatred, a quality she could neverpossess, to dominate my judgment.

In so doing,I wiped off the face of the earth her one true hope for happiness. And withouthope, all is lost!

Through myselfish actions I have destroyed one of the most beautiful creatures that everwalked upon this earth.

It seems asif I am destined…cursed to ultimately cause more harm and grief everytime Iattempt to do what I consider to be the right thing. It’s as if some darkentity has followed me back through time to taunt me for my victory over death.It knows I have the power to change both past and future. It knows I havetouched the face of immortality. And knowing that, it now seeks to torment me.

But hurt andsorrow have taught me one important lesson in life, and that is – Pain is Life!

And ifclinging to Life means Pain – then so be it!!!