The Second Hand Man
January 10th, 1966

To be trappedinside this new, or should I rather say original shell, has both pros and cons.Unfortunately, at the moment, the disadvantages far outweigh the positiveaspects. Yes, my eyesight, hearing and taste are superb. Of course, and mostimportantly, it is free of the disease that would have eventually and prematurelyrobbed me of my life. For these I am most grateful, but it is still afrustration to be so limited and handicapped by the extent of one’s physicalcompetency.

Size andstrength play a large part in what adults view as simple mundane tasks. To a childthey can become formidable obstacles. To name but a few - unscrewing the widelid from a sealed jar, obtaining objects on a high shelf and moving objectssuch as furniture around have now become mountainous challenges.

Not tomention the fact that the toilet seat is way too big for my tiny little arse!

And, hell, ifmy arse is small, my dick is minuscule! Well, I suppose in relation to the restof my body it ain’t too bad.

I never had much interest in girls until myhormones started bubbling when I was around 12 or 13. But now that my olderconsciousness knows that there is more to a guy’s penis than piddling, I oftenget a hard-on looking at a good bit of female flesh.

More than afew times now I’ve had to help myself relieve the tension.

Thank goodnessmy hands are small too!

Shit! Mygosh, I just realized that I’m still a virgin. This second life body of minehas yet to have the pleasure of actual sex!!!

Worse still,not only am I a prisoner of this mortal shell’s physical restrictions, but alsoof its current status. The extent of my world is the house and the back yard.Thank goodness my mother has no qualms about sending me down to the soda orgrocery store by myself. To this end, I am constantly asking her if she needsanything. It may be uncommon for a child to request an errand, but some days Ifeel as though I’m going stir crazy being holed up around the house all day.

The mostfrustrating condition of my position is the fact that a child of 6, when notdoing some trivial task for an adult, is expected to keep themselves occupiedin playing with toys, games and occasionally friends of similar age and gender.

I obviouslyhave no desire to pursue any of these activities, and desperately need someform of entertainment or recreation to pass the time. As I have alreadymentioned, the fact that I am supposedly incapable of reading, remains mygreatest irritation, but as also mentioned, to this end I have taken toborrowing my parents’ books for the supposed purpose of constructing tunnelsand bridges around my toy train set.

And finally,I am denied any true privacy by not having a key or sliding bolt to lock mybedroom door. I fear that any request in this regard would only raise mymother’s suspicions that I may be scheming to get up to something prohibited orunderhanded behind my closed door.