The Second Hand Man
February 17th, 1997

Talk aboutMonday Blues! Steve gave me the bad news today. Although I was sort ofexpecting it ever since Friday when he told me he had planned an extra specialromantic weekend away for himand Nikki to celebrate Valentine’s.

Nikki isgoing to be his blushing June bride in a fraction less than 4 months from now.

All myattempts to keep the two apart have failed miserably, but perhaps I can use thesituation to my advantage.

I see itclearly now. The only way to do this whole sordid thing is to let it run itscourse. Any attempt on my part to separate the two before Nikki shows her truecolors will only bring upon me Steve’s anger and displeasure.

A truefriendship can never be forced. As hard as I keep trying to make it so, thefriendship between Steve and I is not what it once was. It was a differentsituation when we were partners in the company – equals! Now he seems almostobliged to grovel around the big boss. I know that he is a man who believesstrictly in the saying that, ‘Familiarity breeds contempt.’ Yet, anybody withhis brains would have…should have asked for a slice of the company profits bynow. But he is a good man and a perfect employee – I almost hate him for it.

Worst of all,he seems to be content working for me. The dreams he once shared about startinghis own company seem to have all but vanished. It’s amazing how different he’sturned out in this new timeline. If I didn’t know better, I would almost sayhe’s turned into a bit of a bootlicker – a yes man!

Ironically,the only time he has ever stood up to me was that time regarding Nikki’sinterview.

Yes,sometimes a woman can light a fire under a man’s arse; turn him into thatknight in shining armor. Unfortunately, more often than not, they also end updousing us, like a cold shower that kills our needs and desires.

Anyway, ifpossible, I may be able to use the wedding to my advantage.

Tomorrow I’lltell the both of them that I want to pay for the whole shindig – no expenses spared.This will include everything! The flowers, dresses, cake, reception,photographer, wedding night hotel accommodation and the honeymoon - everything!

Being theaforementioned good man, Steve will probably decline the proposal, but this iswhy I intend to make the offer to both of them at the same time. Knowing women,especially Nikki, she will not pass up this opportunity of a lifetime. Also, ifI’m lucky, then hopefully the good man will make me his Best Man! And that willbe one small step for me but one giant leap towards elevating our friendship!

I know alsothat a true friendship cannot be bought. But that is not the reason for mygenerous offer.

I know for afact that later when the marriage inevitably falls apart, Steve will experiencethe guilt trip of his life. He will feel an inclination to confess to me thetruth about Nikki, as well as his regret regarding the vast amount of time andmoney wasted on her by the both of us.

He will befeeling down and in his most dejected state ever. He will need a big shoulderto cry on; a shoulder that only I will be able to provide.

And only areal friend will be able to lift him out of the muck.

Then, Godwilling, I will be able to manipulate the situation to my advantage, making himonce again my only true and trusted friend.

Then, withthe passing of some time I will once again be able to take him into myconfidence. Only then will I be able to reveal to him the entire andunadulterated truth behind Cornelius Crane. If anything, the entries in mydiaries should be more than sufficient to convince him of the fact.

Strange, Ilook forward with great eagerness to sharing my secret with him. It has been aterrible burden for one man to have carried all these long years. At last Iwill be able to safely reveal it to someone else.

And then,finally, we can start working together again in earnest in constructing the(next) Consciousness Projector.