The Shadow Alpha
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

I tossed in bed for the hundredth time.

Where is Devin?

What was Oliver trying to say?

Why would he do that?

My mind fired question after question like a broken record and all because I couldn't replace an answerto either of them. I groaned out loud as the same unanswered questions replayed themselves in myhead, the crisp white of my ceiling made me feel like a mess, the mass of beddings that had gottentangled hours ago suffocated me. With a frustrated huff I stood up off the bed, threw on the purplehoodie that was strewn across my desk and slipped on a pair of Vans before marching out the door.Shadow was hanging at the back of my mind; she was too upset about the day's events.

“Shadow, do you think I should talk to him?’ I asked helplessly, not really knowing how to handle thesituation

“Not this time sweetheart, this time it's up to him to replace us." I sighed exasperatedly, he probablydidn't even care.

I made my way towards the north border, my favourite place to think. As I walked through the forestI thought back to all the times we spent together; the years we played together as children, thenights we spent savouring grilled cheese sandwiches and hot chocolate.

“Where did I go wrong?’ I asked Shadow weakly. I couldn't stop the feeling from bubbling withinme; it was a distantly familiar emotion.

A question akin to that which I asked when I lost my parents twelve years ago.

I detested the fact that he could make me feel that way regardless of how hard I worked to burythat hatch after leaving his pack.

My self-deprecating thoughts came to halt as I arrived at the clearing, I hadn't realised just how fastI was walking till now.

I strode to the bench that stood beneath the huge tree in the centre of the clearing, the moon washigh in the sky and stars littered the vast open space. The breeze was slightly chillier since it wasearly November, but still relatively warm considering we were in California.

Looking down at the bench I suddenly had the urge to lay on the grassy plane and feel the prickleof the blades beneath my bare feet, so without further ado I kicked off my shoes and sunk theminto the cold green carpet before lowering myself into a horizontal position.

I gazed up at the fairy lights that the girls and I hung up here when I first fell in love with the settingand like the soft glow of the lights comforted me, the cool night air calmed my raging thoughts andbefore I knew it, I fell into a peaceful slumber.

It was hot and extremely bright, two very uncomfortable feelings to wake up to. As I peeled my eyesopen I was suddenly blinded by the harsh light of the sun that radiates down on me from its placehigh in the sky. My momentary confusion was lifted as I recalled last night's events, my lack of sleepand sudden impromptu journey to the clearing.

I eyed the pair of Vans that lay at the foot of the bench and then my toes that involuntarily wiggledwhen I looked at them, the action made me giggle.

“I've got cute toes though, don't I Shadow?’ her delight was evident as she hummed in agreementto my childish antics

Unexpectedly a fiery red bird landed on my hand that was splayed across my stomach, it stared atme for a moment before chirping loudly. Along with the gleeful song that escaped the littlecreature's beak, the vibrant colour of its silky feathers and its unwavering gaze, a delightful beamsettled on my lips.

“Red. I'll call you, Red.”

That's when a thought struck me; so many things in life are temporary, happiness doesn't have tobe one of them and if you cannot make yourself happy then no one can do it for you.

With one final note my feathered friend took to the skies, leaving behind only the delightful feelingwithin me and a memory that would be imprinted in my mind forever.

I stayed in the same position for a few moments longer basking in the sunlight and the meresimplicity of the moment. All the way down here on God's green earth I felt free, I felt in control, butmost of all, I felt hope bubbling inside of me.

Long before I reached the edge of the forest I could hear the wonderful sound of the childrenplaying in the yard, I figured that they were playing tag as the high pitched voices giggledscreaming, “You're it!” every few seconds.

With a mischievous grin on my face I broke through the greenery and grabbed the two kids closestto me, their high pitched squeals were mixed with my, “You're it.” they giggled happily when theyrealised that it was only me, before I knew it I was surrounded by the entire group of pups andengulfed in an enormous group hug.

We all laughed merrily as I lost my balance taking many of them down with me, the look on my facewas one of surprise and it only served to amuse them further. It felt unfair that they got to laugh atme when they were the ones who caused me to fall in the first place, an evil smile crept onto myface just as the idea struck me. With that thought in mind I grabbed the two closest to me andproceeded to tickle them breathless.

By the end of my assault everyone was exhausted lying on the ground catching our breaths fromlaughing so hard.

The beaming smile remained in place even as a shadow settled above me, Devin stared down at mewith a scowl so intense my eyes went wide in sheepish amusement. Before I knew it he yanked meoff the ground onto my feet, much to my annoyance.

The feeling didn't last long though as my gaze fell on the bright red Audi that I loved so much andnow reminded me of my feathered friend, Red.

My thoughts were abruptly cut short by the array of glowers I was receiving from my friends andfamily. Some stood with their arms crossed, others just stared in annoyance. Overall I had not acooking clue as to why everyone was so pissed off.

The idea of food caused my stomach to grumble loudly and a silly laugh erupted from me.

“The monster needs food.” I patted my stomach and walked towards the door of the pack housewith a spring in my step not bothering to entertain anyone's negativity at this point.

I thoughtfully stroked my non-existent beard as I gazed into the fridge, unable to decide whether Iwanted to have leftovers or indulge in a greasy gourmet breakfast. The latter made my mouth waterand just like that my mind was made up, I settled on some eggs, sausages, toast and fried onionrings. Just as I placed the ingredients on the counter, the flock from outside gathered in the kitchenand proceeded to stare at me as if I'd grown another head.

Feeling no need to speak I hummed the tune that I learnt just this morning. There was shufflingamongst the crowd that had caught my attention, my head snapped in their direction and was metwith two identical hopeful looks, I chuckled out loud and proceeded to dish out two extra helpingsfor the ever hungry boys. Both rushed forward and kissed me on the cheek, accepting the plateswhich they would soon inhale.

"Help yourselves.” I started airily and settled at the breakfast bar beside Connor and Bradley.

"Woah guys! Go easy, we wouldn't want the eggs to hatch inside you.” I teased; they both chokedand stared at me wide eyed as if it could really happen.

“Idiots, she’s just kidding.” Taylor dead panned as she strode leisurely into the kitchen. Non-committedly grabbing an apple and biting into it without a care in the world, her attitude was abreath of fresh air in the still tense atmosphere; it puzzled me how they managed to stay silent allthis while.

"So Tay, why aren't you a part of the glare committee?” she scoffed as if asking her was stupid."What the actual hell Allison?!” Devin finally snapped and once again I eyed him with amusement,the funniest part about his attitude was how he actually thought he had the right to be angry at me.“How can I help you Devin?” I pushed my plate away and folded my arms on the counter with anexpectant smile.

“You can quit this bullshit and tell us where the hell you were!” the vein in his forehead was pulsing,a tell-a-tale sign that he was angry.

“That's what this was all about?” I chuckled disbelievingly, turning to face Connor and Bradley whonodded in agreement.

"Yeah, you disappeared. We looked everywhere for you, not to mention your mental wall was up sowe couldn't link you either.” Bradley shrugged.

“Not everywhere.” I muttered, just as a protest arose I cut them off, “You're such a bunch of motherhens, it's cute.” I felt touched that they were worried about me. Some faces contorted in disgustwhile others remained steadfast in their glaring. “Seriously though, you all should stop worrying somuch. It's bad for your health. I can take care of myself, or have you forgotten who 1 am?” I boastedwith a smirk.

I grinned triumphantly as their shoulders sagged knowing they wouldn't get through to me. OnlyDevin seemed to get even more vexed by my reply, not that I cared much for how he felt at thispoint, not after the way he acted.

“You're not invincible Allison, get that in your head!” he shouted, taking us all aback.

"You know Devin; you're quite audacious for a guy who didn’t seem to care much just yesterday.”My calm, but curious tone must have irked him to the point that he didn't know how to reactbecause suddenly he was silent, his eyes wide in astonishment.

He raised his voice expecting me to do the same or at least be angry at him for his behaviour sothat in turn he had a reason to be angry at me for not letting them know my whereabouts.

Not today honey

“Allison... Just tell us where you were.” Hunter sighed in frustration and my gaze softened. I movedcloser to him and placed a hand over his cheek sending him an honest smile.

“I really was okay brother, I couldn't sleep so took a walk to the clearing last night and ended upfalling asleep there.” At the mention of where I was his head turned down in shame.

“Now will you all stop wrecking my brains? Any longer and I'll be bleeding from all the daggers youreyes were throwing at me.” I emphasized in mock horror and was rewarded with multiple eye rollsand chuckles.

“Is the plan coming together?” I asked after a moment of silence, the once calm air turned edgy themoment the words escaped my lips. My gaze turned to Devin who was still staring at me with slightanger in his eyes, but regardless of his personal feelings he nodded curtly.

"Good. I'll see to it that the information reaches the right people.” I affirmed and stepped out of thekitchen. The happiness I felt earlier, dimmed by the dread of responsibility.

My loved ones were counting on me; my pack was counting on me, the whole werewolf race wascounting on me, but most of all, Mother Selene was counting on me and I could not fail her.

Taking a step into the elevator I was nudged further in by my one and only “mate’. My sadness fromyesterday had morphed into annoyance since then, despite my nonchalant behaviour I was hurt andthat hurt was portrayed as bitterness.

The ride up to my room was filled with a tense silence that neither of us bothered to break. Withoutlooking back I walked into my room, leaving the door open behind me knowing he was a few stepsfrom barging in anyway. I busied myself with pulling clothes from my closet; I didn't feel that hisbehaviour warranted my attention so I gave him none, much to his chagrin.

"Are you just going to stand there and pretend that I'm not here?” he questioned annoyed.

“I have nothing to say to you.” I declared honestly. He muttered something under his breath aboutdifficult women, which ticked me off.

"Oh! So women are difficult?” I spun around, pinning him under my fierce glare. “I'm the villain inthe situation suddenly?” I stepped closer, his eyes widened at my action.

"Have you forgotten Devin?” he leaned back slightly as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Have you forgotten how you were the one who gave me the cold shoulder in front of everyone?How you flat out ignored me and continued to flirt with all those girls at dinner? Have you forgottenhow all you've been doing the past few days is pushing me away? I tried to give you space, I trustedyou to come back to me when you were ready.” I scoffed deprecatingly and backed away withoutlooking at him, instead I stared at the picture of my pack on the wall.

"Yet here you are, pretending to care, getting angry at me for whatever reason. Here you are playingthe victim.” I uttered with a mix of disbelief and anger.

It used to be so simple. We all stood with bright beaming smiles staring at the camera, without acare in the world, we were happy and in that moment nothing else mattered. The picture was takenthe day of my Alpha ceremony where I was announced and the title handed over to me. If youasked me that day where I saw myself in two years, there's no way in hell I would have guessed this.I realised in that moment that happiness was only temporary, and the worst part of it was that thepeople who steal the shine from your eyes and the happiness from your heart are the very peopleyou trust not to, the people closest to you.

The people you love.