The Twelve Days Of Kurai’s Mass
Part 4

(Kurai)

My mother has been angry with me all the rest of the day and night. I really feel like this is something I HAVE to do. I never really thought about how I would burn off all the calories afterwards, but whatever. I’m absolutely adorable!

I wake up on the fourth day and toddle on over to the exit of the den. Those three French Hens added a significant amount of pudge, but that won’t stop me. Cheese is patiently waiting for me. Time for my next assignment!

“Hey, Cheese! What does day 4 bring me?” I ask.

“The fourth day brings four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree,” Cheese recites.

“Calling birds?” I ask, slightly confused.

“For this prompt, any four small songbirds qualify. They could be blackbirds, or even Cardinals,” Cheese says.

“Ohhhhh!” I say. “That’s a lot of birds. Surely four small birds won’t be as difficult as 3 medium birds.”

“We’ll see,” Cheese says.

I set out again. This time, my goal is to replace and consume any four singing birds. Well, this time of year is PERFECT for caroling… Too bad I suck at singing.

I walk into the woods and sit in some snow that is still present from the other day. I lift my head and give a howl, attempting to match the tune of a carol. Some birds appear in the tree and they don’t look very happy. I continue howling and they screech angrily at me.

“STOP SINGING! YOU SUCK!” one bird yells.

“YEAH!” the others agree.

“Hmmm, if only I had four calling birds to teach me to sing…” I say, a smug look on my face.

“Oooh, she thinks WE can teach her,” one says.

“I don’t know if we CAN save her. She might be too far gone,” another replies.

“Why don’t you come down and give it a try if you’re so good at what you do?” I suggest.

The birds flutter down to the ground, singing merrily. I watch, my paws tingling with anticipation. Perhaps I’ll play it out a bit this time… I put a paw on my throat and give a cough.

“Might be something stuck in my throat…” I complain.

“Oh, that might be part of the reason you can’t sing…” one says.

“Ah, I can’t reach to grab nor see inside? What could it be?” I ask and cough again with a gag.

“Well…maybe we can also help with that,” a cardinal boy suggests. “Just…open your mouth a bit…”

I open my mouth, but not all the way. A plump black bird flies and tries to peer inside. No, I would need to open wider. I open my jaw wider and the black bird practically climbs into my mouth.

I gulp as the black bird is leaning to check for any lodged items in my throat. The others gasp. I, of course, pretend to panic. The others come to the rescue. Two, three, four…Four calling birds slip down my throat.

The rest figure out what is happening and fly away. The four birds twitter anxiously in my stomach. Yes, that was MUCH easier than the three French Hens. I lick my lips and dislodge a few loose feathers from between my teeth.

“YOU DECEIVED US! HOW DARE YOU!” the black bird sings from inside my belly.

“Not my fault you are bird-brained,” I say.

I walk back home. I have to be quick for the small birds likely won’t last long in my gut. I return home just in time to catch Foxy slurping Cheese up. I snarl and growl.

“SPIT MY FRIEND UP, NOW!” I bark.

Foxy swallows. No! I tackle Foxy and force her to spit my friend up. If anyone’s gonna eat Cheese it has to be me! Cheese coughs and sneezes so I gently lick her clean.

“Why is THIS ONE off limits?” Foxy asks with a scoff.

“I made a deal with her. It’s called friendship,” I argue.

“Yeah? But friends ARE food!” Foxy argues back.

“Anyhow! I swallowed four calling birds!” I announce.

“That’s great, Kurai!” Cheese exclaims, clapping her little hands.

“Well, if I can’t eat Cheese…” Foxy says, licking her lips.

Next thing I know, Foxy has pounced on me! I exclaim in surprise as, somehow, the little fox begins swallowing me. I, with four birds in my stomach, somehow get squeezed into the tight confines of Foxy’s stomach. This is Vore-ception!

“Foxy, please! Don’t do this to me!” I wail.

“I promise I’m not going to digest you. I was only curious,” Foxy says.

“AHEM!” I hear a voice outside of Foxy say.

(Suisen)

My disappointment in my daughter is innumerable. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to stop her. Well, nothing that won’t hurt her. I don’t want to hurt her, but she’s hurting everyone else.

Again she wakes up and sneaks off without even a good morning. Again she is off to murder people. What am I doing? Sitting at home hoping the police don’t catch her.

I replace a letter on the table. It’s not the letter I ate yesterday. I don’t know when or how this letter got on my table, either. It’s as if unseen tiny creatures are carrying my mail into the house and dropping it here.

Regardless, I ought to see what this letter is about. My stomach twists and I feel queasy when I examine the paper and replace that it is from Arashi the black lab. My lifelong rival. The dog who continuously tries to ruin my life.

‘Dearest Suisen, I am well aware that this letter might not even make it to you, but if you see this, I ask for a favor. Could we PLEASE stop being rivals just for a day? You know I love you, but I know you hate me. It would be nice to get a chance to visit with you and your daughter. Think it over, do not discard my letter. Yours truly, Arashi’

“ARASHI!” I screech at the top of my lungs.

No, no, no, and NO! I cannot let this man near my daughter! I just can’t! I fear he may harm her if I let him get too close. He’s my rival, why would he be nice to my daughter?

Now here’s the part where I begin to stress eat. I take a pack of protein nuggets (not the protein balls. After what happened at the factory, no more protein balls will ever be produced) and eat the entire box. The serving size is one nugget. I ate twenty five. Ughhhhhh…

Arashi makes me so angry I cannot think straight! I take a brief nap, sprawled out on the ground next to the empty container. When I awaken, I hear my daughter screaming outside. Quickly, I dash to the rescue, forgetting my sleepiness.

I get outside and replace Foxy extremely fat and Kurai is nowhere to be seen. Cheese is panicking. I hear a muffled cry from within Foxy and the lump shifts. She ate my daughter!

“I promise I’m not going to digest you. I was only curious,” Foxy says.

“AHEM!” I say, clearing my throat loudly to get her attention.

“Oh, uhhhh, hi, Mrs. Ōkami!” Foxy says, grinning at me.

“You spit my daughter up this instant!” I snap.

“Okay, sorry! I just wanted to have some fun!” Foxy says with a whimper.

She cowers in fear. Then, her sides heave and she pukes my daughter up. My daughter also looks like she ate someone. Can this possibly get any more ridiculous?! Kurai then proves it can get more ridiculous by opening her mouth and letting the birds sing.

“What in the heck?!” I exclaim.

“Four calling birds,” Kurai says.

“Good job, Kurai!” Cheese says, no longer freaking out.

“This is going really well!” Kurai says, then she glances at me. “Wait a minute, what did YOU do all day?”

“None of your business,” I say and burp.

Ugh, I should never have eaten the entire box of nuggets… Kurai smirks, staring at my belly. Then, she trots past me into the den. Great. She’s going to replace Arashi’s stupid letter…

“Ah, I see!” Kurai says with a grin. “You got a letter from dad! Is he coming home this Christmas?!”

“He’s NOT your dad, Kurai! Stop calling him that!” I exclaim in frustration.

“Mom! He says he loves you! Why can’t we let him come over! Just for one day!“ Kurai pleads.

“You’re the last person to be egging for any more favors, missy!” I argue.

Kurai pouts and makes a really cute puppy face. It’s not going to work. Not this time. With a matter as serious as whether or not Arashi comes to my house or not, puppy eyes cannot weaken my resolve.

“N. O. Arashi will not be stepping foot into my den under my watch,” I state firmly.

Kurai bursts out crying. I roll my eyes. Behind me, Foxy and Cheese both look shocked, astonished, and sad that I would do this to Kurai. They wouldn’t understand. They weren’t there when Arashi…well, we don’t talk about that…