The way I used to live
Chapter 32

Daksha's POV:-

The next day, Mom woke me up to perform the mañgala snānam. Mom asked me to wear a cotton saree for the ritual.

By the time I went downstairs, everybody was there while preparing everything for the ritual.

Yuktha took me to the lawn and made me sit on a stool. They all smeared my face with Nalugu(a mixture of flours and turmeric powder) and poured the turmeric water on me.

Peddamma asked me to freshen up and take some rest for a while as I had to perform a lot of rituals. I woke up at noon and had my lunch.

They informed me that Arjun's family already reached the wedding venue. Even most of our relatives went to the venue to handle the things there. Remaining people, along with me, would reach the venue after completing Gauri pūja.

Soon it was time for the pooja and the beauticians did the magic with their hands. They took me downstairs. Mom did the hārati or Aarti. After that, they guided me to do the pooja.

When I was done with the pooja, we all started going to the wedding venue.

Arjun's POV:

When we reached the wedding venue, I was astonished seeing the decorations. The place was beautifully decorated with all the rich colorful flowers and mango leaves.

Her father and a young man who seemed to be the same age as mine, gave us a grand welcome. I came to know that he was Daksha's brother. Indra greeted him with a hug as they already knew each other.

Her brother came to me and had a nice chat with me but before going, he warned me to take care of his sister and I agreed gladly to it. They asked me to rest and I agreed to it. I went to the room that was allotted to me and took a small nap.

After a while, they called me for the rituals. I got ready and went towards them. A priest came there to perform the ritual of Snātakam. It is known as Bath Graduation. It is performed before householder responsibilities are handed over to the groom. This ritual takes place before the muhūrtam...precisely a few hours prior to the wedding.

After chanting some mantras, the priest made me wear the silver thread as a part of the custom.

By the time, the ritual was over, it was evening and time for the actual wedding rituals to start. I went to change my dress and after that, Indra called me for another ritual. The next ritual's name was kāsī Yatra. It is a fun-filled ritual where I had to pretend to go to Kashi and to say that I have discarded the worldly pleasures like marriage, relations, and property, and was no longer interested in family life.

Both sides were arguing playfully. One side was encouraging me to go to Kashi and the other side was convincing me not to go.

Finally, Aditya, Daksha's brother, came to me. As a part of the ritual, he stopped me and persuaded me to assume the responsibility of the household.

In Telugu speaking states, most of the weddings usually take place at midnight. So, we got some time before the actual muhurtham.

We also give high priority to the food. We served food to all the guests, which is also part of our culture of offering food to anyone who comes on an auspicious day. It finally ended with the offering of sweets after dinner as it is considered auspicious.

Mom came to me and fed me the food. After that, she told me that Daksha already reached the venue and asked me to get ready as well. After I was ready, I was taken to the mandapam where the wedding was going to take place.

The priest made me perform the Ganesa and Gauri puja. During that time, Parvara, the ritual of changing the bride's paternal gothram(clan) to that of the groom's, was performed.

My Mom and Daksha's parents were present there when I performed the ritual.

Daksha's POV:

We reached our farmhouse where the wedding was going to be performed. I was taken into a room. They made me get ready wearing my wedding attire.

They braided my hair and decorated it with flowers as per the tradition. Yuktha and Rishu's mothers came to my room and gave me their blessings.

Finally, Mom and Sarada aunty came to me and blessed me after kissing both my cheeks. After that, mom tied basikam around my forehead.

Girls took so many selfies with me and they kept on praising me, telling things like how beautiful I was looking and how Arjun would have a hard time controlling himself, making me blush uncontrollably.

My dad came to us and gave me a kiss on the forehead with tears in his eyes. Looking at him made me quite emotional but I controlled myself and gave him an assured smile.

Soon, my peddananna and my mamayya came to us with a bamboo basket to carry me to the mandapam(wedding pavilion). They made me sit in it and they both lifted me with the help of my Anna and cousins.

Amidst all the teasing, they carried me till the mandapam (wedding pavilion) and made me sit in front of Arjun with a veil separating us. Until the kanyādānam would be over, we were not allowed to look at each other. They placed that curtain as a partition between us.

It was a ritual where my parents handed over my responsibility to Arjun. As a part of the ritual, my parents washed his feet with milk and water, as the groom is considered to be an incarnation of Lord Vishnu who comes to marry the daughter who is considered as Devi Lakshmi.

The priest asked Arjun to chant the mantra "Dharmēca Arthēca Kamēcha Mokshēca Nāti Carāmi" three times which would be an assurance to my Dad that he would remain my companion in joy and sorrow, forever.

The next ritual was panigrahanam which means "holding hands". Arjun held my hand and spoke the mantra that has the meaning: "The Devas have offered you to me in order that I may live the life of a householder (Gruhasta); we shall not part from each other."

After the priest recited the slokams from the Vedas, we were asked to place a paste made from cumin seeds and jaggery on each other's heads. The custom is referred to as Jilakarra-Bellamu.

The ceremony was observed to communicate that our relationship was unbreakable and we were inseparable. That was the actual muhurtam time.

The ritual (Pravara) of changing my gotram(clan) was once again performed on the marriage dais in the presence of everyone attending the ceremony. Henceforth, I no longer belonged to my father's gotra, bu belonged to Arjun's.

As a part of the Madhuparkam ritual, they took me back and dressed me up in a white sari. Arjun was also asked to wear a white dhoti with a red border because white symbolizes purity and red represents strength.

Ten married women (Sumangali) accompanied me. Six of the ten women held plates containing sacred rice (a mixture of rice and turmeric powder), while the rest of them held small lit lamps on their respective plates. Here rice represents abundance, while the lit lamps symbolize light.

Mangaļasūtra Dhāraṇa means tying Mangaļasūtram (holy thread). In order to perform the ritual, we were asked to sit next to each other and the partition between us was removed.

Then Arjun tied the two strings of Mangalasūtram, each with a golden disc, around my neck while smiling at me gleefully and I too returned it with equal enthusiasm.

The Mangalasūtram represents the physical, mental, and spiritual union of the couple. In Telugu weddings, the groom ties three knots of Mangaļasūtram.

When he tied that sacred thread around my neck, we were showered with Akshithalu as the blessings. In this ceremony, we both exchanged garlands.

Married people witnessing this occasion come forward to bless us by sprinkling flower petals and rice coated with turmeric powder which was called Akshithalu.

As a part of the Saptapadi rituals, we walked seven steps together around the holy fire, while taking our oaths of caring, protecting, understanding, loving and guiding each other, with the pallu (edge of the sari) of my saree tied to one end of the Arjun's scarf(Kanḍuva).

Sthālīpākam is a ritual wherein Arjun adorned my feet with silver toe rings. It is also believed that the man bends to the woman in order to claim her as his.

Also in order to ward off the evil eye, I was adorned by a string of black beads during the ceremony. These beads, along with the silver toe rings, symbolized that I was a married woman.

After that, a kunda (decorated silver or terra-cotta vessel) full of water was placed in front of us and a ring was put in it. Arjun had to put his right hand in and I had to use my left hand. We needed to fish the ring out.

We had to do this three times and whoever won more rounds was supposed to be the dominant one in this marriage.

That was a time of fun because water was splashed everywhere and there were chants and shouts of support for both sides. Every time Arjun got the ring, he slipped it into my hand but I again pushed it into his hand and so every time we took the ring out together.

After this ritual, we were again made to sit opposite to each other for thalambralu ritual. It is a ritual where we have to pour sacred rice on each other.

We enjoyed this ritual a lot. The next ritual was Arundhati Nakshatram. It is a ritual where both are shown the stars that represent Arundhathi and Vasista. These stars represent the perfect couple complementing each other.

Finally, we were united with the symbolic traditions and in the presence of Panchabhuthalu(five essential elements of life), amidst the blessings of everyone.

It was then time for the ritual of Appaginthalu where I was supposed to be traditionally handed off to Arjun and his family.

It was completed in between a tearful bidding from my family and a lot of assurance from Arjun to them. I hugged my brother so tightly, not wanting to leave them.

He assured me that I could visit them at any time. I finally bid a goodbye, not before hugging them once again.

I didn't replace Aaru anywhere and I knew she hated goodbyes. That was why she might be hiding somewhere and crying to herself. I got sadder after remembering the beautiful time that us four had together.

Then we sat in the car and went to Arjun's house. I was sobbing silently while looking outside the window when Arjun's warm hand clasped my palm.

He gave me a side hug in a consoling manner and I leaned more into him, welcoming his embrace after resting my head on his shoulder.

It might have been the end of the rituals but it was the beginning of a heartwarming tale of love, hope, and acceptance.☐☐☐☐