The Wolf Experiments
Chapter 14

Nick looked around the new apartment and grinned. “I always wanted to have a reason to move into the family wing of the complex.

Amandas nudged her with his foot. “Which room are you taking, sis?”

“Whichever one you don’t want,” she answered.

It didn’t really matter. The larger apartments were on the interior of the building and had no windows and it was the lack there of that made her not care. There were three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Moving into the larger of the two bedrooms (obviously Nick took the master suite) and Amandas set her boxes down. She really didn’t have very much but still had more things than her brother. Nick’s odd announcement at breakfast a few days earlier still had her reeling—his admission that he wanted his family to live in an apartment together. It was an illusion, in a way. How long could it really last? Nick would miss his cabin or he would spend his time in the laboratory with Andy, testing wolves. Looking at the positive aspect, she and Amandas would be under the same roof, too. He would benefit greatly from Nick’s home-cooked meals as he was a little too thin. Nick’s excitement over the large kitchen certainly hinted that he planned to cook as often as he could. But moving into a family apartment certainly quashed the idea of replaceing a building site for her cabin. That would probably have to wait a few years now.

The biggest problem with the entire plan was that Nick didn’t like wolves as pets and Ghost certainly didn’t like him. Alex wasn’t sure how to solve that problem. Nick was fairly resolute that he wouldn’t allow the white wolf into the apartment and she didn’t want to start this new family life breaking rules.

Moving off to Adrian’s apartment, the wolf clicked down the corridor at her side. Raising her fist to knock, the door opened suddenly. She let her arm fall.

Adrian sighed, “Why do you look unhappy?”

“Nick forbade me from having Ghost in the apartment.”

“I suppose he will need to stay with me.”

Her shoulders relaxed. “I was hoping you would say that but poor Ghost. It’s going to be a terrible adjustment.”

“He’s smart and will quickly figure it out.” Reaching out, he touched a lock of her hair. “Now that I’ve met Amandas, I finally see why you’ve resisted becoming close to me.”

Her left eyebrow shot upward. “Adrian, I’m closer to you than anyone else.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “No, I don’t mean that. Sit down.”

She immediately dropped onto his couch like a heavy rock, pulling up her knees. She didn’t want to leave Amandas for too long but Adrian had that look about him like he was ready to tackle something big.

He said, “What is your current goal—the one at the top of your list.”

“Conquering fears.”

“That’s a good answer, Alex,” he said. “Maybe a bit rehearsed but still good. Why don’t you narrow that down a bit?”

But fear, so far, was a big part of her life. Fear of being out in the big, bad world, fear of being kidnapped again, fear of leaving the valley, fear of sleeping alone at night and her fear of affection. “The touch-me-not thing.”

Hopefully that isn’t what you think I want to hear.”

“No. It is something that needs to be fixed,” she answered.

Okay, good,” he said. “Do you feel like that with Amandas?”

“Like my skin is crawling at the mere thought of someone touching me? Not with him.”

“I thought as much. It is difficult to narrow down if it is just a fear of men touching you since we have no way of getting outside of that with a lack of women in this valley.”

“I’m definitely comfortable with Amandas.” Her jaw hardened. If he suggested a round of closeness to desensitize her, Alex would leap for the door. “What did you mean about not being close to you? Do you mean something physical?”

“Or even just learning to date. My God, Alex, it will be difficult jumping into things after your lack of socialization as a child but you haven’t even tried.”

“I do have feelings, Adrian.”

“For me?”

Her face turned crimson. “Sometimes.”

“Hawk?”

“Sometimes.”

“How are you going to get past just sometimes to feeling it often and doing something about it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe by learning not to be afraid.” She worried about where his conversation was going.

He sighed. “We may never be able physical, Alex. In time, I’m certain we will share affection but just as friends do. I think you’ve known this for a while but part of your attention to me was out of familiarity. Even if you didn’t remember your past at that time.”

Alex closed her eyes and realized what he was getting at and of course, he was correct. He looked like Amandas. So much, in fact, that they could be twins. He looked more like her brother than she did.

Ghost suddenly whined, reminding Alex why she visited Adrian. “Do you want to keep him now?”

“Yes, of course,” he said. “Is his food still at your old apartment?”

Alex nodded and felt bad that Adrian’s mouth had turned into a frown. “Are you mad at me?”

His gaze softened. “No, Alex.”

“Sultan can’t be around me sometimes.”

“I know,” Adrian replied, “and he needs to learn how to cope with that and quit taking it out on you like he does.”

“We need women here.”

“We do,” Adrian said. “But for me and Sultan, I’m not sure it would matter.”

“Why you?”

“You know, Alex. I’ve never been able to answer that question. The sect of people who raised me set me on the path of being an astronaut at an early age. They taught me there was no room for love as an explorer.”

“But you do feel love. Maybe you can change the rest of that.”

“I’m not so sure,” he said. “Go on, Alex. I’ll keep Ghost and come get you in the morning for breakfast. We’ll teach your wolf a new routine. He’ll be fine.”

She sprang for the exit and down the corridor, almost turned into her old apartment. Banking right, she jogged through the dimly lit passage until reaching the new one. Amandas sat on the couch, staring at the wall without focus.

She said, “I didn’t mean to be gone so long. Needed to get Ghost situated with Adrian.”

Amandas nodded.

“Did Seth quit keeping you in a cage?”

“Yes,” Amandas answered. “He made me up a room in back of the lab. Gave me a smart screen.”

“Do you hate him?”

“Seth never treated me badly but knowing that he wants to keep you as a lab rat certainly changed things.”

“Why me and not you?”

“He’s collected enough samples from me over the years that I’m not really needed any more. But you…you can still give birth…provide eggs. It’s different.”

“It’s sick,” she said.

She dropped down on the couch beside him. They sat shoulder to shoulder until the digital clock indicated it was well past dinner. Taking his arm, she escorted Amandas to the commons.

That night, Alex couldn’t fall asleep without the wolf. She twisted and turned until the sheets twisted around her body. Amandas came into the room, plucked up the blankets, and smoothed them straight. Curling up beside her, he reached out and touched her arm. Until the accident, they had never spent a night apart. Maybe he had trouble sleeping, too.

They sat on the roof—the three of them. Amandas had never before seen a sunset. Adrian’s curiosity was partly professional and he had remained with them for most the day. The vibrant disappearance of the sun left the mountains speckled with a sandy-red hue. Snow glistened from the top, hinting that soon the warm weather would abandon the valley. The blue cloudless sky gradually darkened. The wind increased.

Amandas turned to Alex. “Do you still want to see the ocean?”

“It’s not going to look the way it does in books,” she said. “It’s not beautiful anymore. It’s dead.”

Adrian remarked, “I didn’t know you ever wanted to see the ocean.”

“In a dream,” she whispered, “the kind of dream that takes over your mind when you live in a cage. But the romanticism of the ocean is gone because no one has seen a whale or dolphin in almost forty years. The refineries have closed all the shorelines, turning it from something recreational to something industrial. It’s polluted.”

“I still want to see the ocean,” Amandas said, “or at least see some place. Have you traveled much, Alex?”

“No,” she said. “I don’t like getting very far from this place. There’s a war coming. The wolves sing about it.”

They both turned to look at her but she didn’t care. It was a notion that she had pushed far in the background while dealing with more important things but it couldn’t be ignored anymore.”

Adrian sighed. “Can you explain that to me, Alex?”

Amandas slid his arm over her shoulder. “I believe you.”

“Hey,” Adrian said softly. “It’s not that.”

“In Madrid, the Wolf Retrieval Units (WRU’s) round up the wolves day and night because the wolves have thrived, taking an upper hand as men lose their way. The WRU’s can’t euthanize them all. Anyway,” she said while dropping her chin to her knee, “the wolves in Madrid sing the same songs that the wolves here sing. They cry for what men have done to this earth and they will soon take control.”

Looking up, Adrian had that look like she needed to be on medication. Amandas tightened his arm. Maybe no one would believe her now but they would. This was something to be patient about—because the war was still a good bit away. The wolves knew it.

Rising, Adrian reached down for her hand. “Let’s go,” he said.

For a second night, Nick was gone. Amandas climbed in bed with her and they both slept soundly. She had feared dreaming of wolves but it hadn’t happened yet. But the wolves always came back to her mind as if they still had a message to send. They wouldn’t let her rest—not in life and not in her dreams.

Amandas adjusted to his new life much faster than she had. He jumped into learning new things with a passion she had never before seen in him. He especially loved the greenhouses and making things grow. In time, Eric turned it all over to him as Eric had too many other things on his plate. It lessoned the load considerably.

Alex wished Nick would let her see what was going on in the outside world. Sometimes he let her go up in the ship where they would hover in the atmosphere and link up to the real world. Then and only then, Alex surfed the internet searching for news on the nuclear war scare or negotiations and anything on wolves.

Having a family involved real family struggles. Sometimes Alex wished she had her apartment again or that she and Amandas shared her old place. Nick was adamant to piece their time together before she and Amandas grew up. But for some reason, Nick was still distant to Amandas as if not entirely believing that Amandas was his son. Amandas and Nick fought sometimes which always frightened her. Then, Nick was storm off to the laboratory and disappear for a while.

Eventually she took Amandas to the sublevels. It was necessary in the healing process for them both. He read the journals and like her, despised the wolf experiments.

Thing happened that filled her with both fear and grief. Seth escaped, which turned everything upside down for a while. And just when it seemed she needed Ghost the most, he passed away with old age. He had lived longer than most wolves. Thinking about it, she had never heard of a wolf living to be sixteen. Perhaps Ghost remained because he knew she needed him and after things got better, he made that final run to the heavens and stars. But it didn’t make her sadness go away. For months, she cried whenever she thought about him. They had been through so much together. Amandas tried to fill the void as much as possible. It helped. But only just a little. There would never be another Ghost.