Their Bonds of Love
Chapter 4

Dressed in a gown much too fine and fussy for a simple gathering of ladies, Eleri walked down one of the wide halls of the Silver Place with two guards in front and two guards behind. She was told it was for her protection, but she knew it was much more about keeping her from escaping. As many times as Lord Fellen called her an honored guest, she knew she was little more than a prisoner.

She tuned a corner reaching back to drag the train on her maroon and gold brocade gown. She felt rather ridiculous in it, but all the dresses Lord Fellen had provided for her were elaborate. He said he wished her to dress like the queen she would soon be. She would never be his queen. Even if things worked out with Conri and she walked these halls as his queen, she would not be so ridiculously dressed unless it was for a high festival or some special occasion.

Thoughts of Conri made her slow her steps as she took time to look around the palace. It was a beautiful place though it felt so foreboding to her. Perhaps if she were on Conri’s arm as they talked and laughed as they walked, she would not hate it as much as she did now. It didn’t seem easy to believe that such a grand place could ever feel like home, but maybe if she felt well-loved, she could settle in nicely.

She thought a lot about Conri in her times alone. She got better and better at handling Ciara’s magic but did not want to let anyone know. She did as she was asked and acted exhausted much of the time so others would leave her alone. She had nothing to do but sit by the fire in her big room and think upon her situation and those she left behind.

She spent time worrying about her father but knew he would face the situation like he did almost everything. He would get to work and replace the best way to help her. As frustrating as it was to be in the palace for an extended amount of time, she knew her father would send for her when the time was right. She occasionally wondered what her aunt and Grace were doing. She imagined they stayed mostly in Cadwin manor. Efa would offer her wisdom, and Grace would make sure all were taking care of themselves.

She hoped the Havens were still safe in the manor and that Lady Havens was continuing to mend. She still had a bad cough at times, and Eleri worried for her future. Eleri spent much too long for her liking thinking of Caerwyn, but it was no surprise. She had spent much of the last four years or so thinking of him. She loved him for so long, and so deeply, it was hard to get him out of her mind. She still felt angry and hurt, but the distance between them had softened her heart.

She knew he was a broken person who acted like one. She always hoped she would be the one to fix him, but she now knew he could only heal himself. Perhaps she had enabled his destructive behavior over the years. Giving herself to him so easily and then letting him push her aside must have damaged him as well as herself. Loving him had felt right, but the many weeks and even months in between their affairs left her often bitter and angry. She wondered if it had warped her idea of what love was. As much passion and companionship she experienced with Caerwyn; it never lasted beyond a few weeks together. Their relationship never had a chance to grow into something truly intimate.

Her time with Conri was so different. Her memories continued to come back slowly, and she could see that though she had not known the prince long, he was so open with her that she thought there might be a truly intimate connection with him that she had never experienced with Caerwyn. She knew now they had shared much passion. She had short memories of being loved by him. It made her feel satisfied and secure. She spent much of her time trying to reconstruct their time together, but it was all jumbled with a few missing pieces. She had an idea of the full picture but could not see it completed.

Lost in her thoughts, she did not realize the guards stopped in front of a large wooden door.

“It is just through here, my lady,” said one of the guards politely as he opened the door.

Eleri smiled at him as she passed. Of all those who escorted her, he was her favorite. He was a young man named Deri whose father was a low lord recently given a large estate by Lord Fellen. He had seven brothers, and Deri was the youngest. She didn’t believe he had any idea of what was happening in the land, only doing as asked by his father. He was always pleasant and even sneaked her in some extra apple tarts when she mentioned liking them. She knew Lord Fellen would give her plenty if she requested, but she despised asking him for anything, even simple treats.

Walking into the room before her, she found herself in an impressive parlor. Many different ladies were mulling around with teacups and small cakes. They stood in groups of three or four throughout the room, some standing and some on sofas or chairs. All chatter and laughter stopped as Eleri entered. She stopped in the middle of the room and looked around, unsure of what to do.

“Lady Eleri,” said an older woman as she came forward. “How wonderful it is to have you join us today. We all were desperate to speak to you the other night at the banquet, but of course, your time was taken up by your betrothed.”

“I am glad to be here,” answered Eleri with a short courtesy as she saw Ciara in the corner of the room, staring at her. “May I have your name?”

“I am Lady Cecil. I believe you danced with my husband at the feast.”

Eleri tried to keep her face neutral. “I did, and I was very pleased he spoke to me. He was on the advisory court with my father, I believe.”

“He was,” said Lady Cecil. “Now, let me introduce you to more of the ladies. We have not had a true host here in a while.” Lady Cecil took Eleri’s arm with a smile and said loudly. “Ciara Sullivan likes to think she has some sort of command over us, but how could she, a woman like her?” A few ladies who overheard laughed.

“Her mother was the palace healer and said to be the most gifted sorceress in the land,” said Eleri as she looked at Ciara. “She is now in the same position and must be shown respect for it.” Ciara raised her eyebrow at her and gave a small nod.

“Her mother was only the palace healer in a name. Your mother was known to be twice as powerful, and the king often went to see her. If not for her high position as Lady Cadwin, I think the king would have been much more pleased to have her in the position.”

Eleri watched Ciara as she turned to a few ladies close to her. “I think my mother liked where she was.”

“I know she did. She had to put up with quite a lot to be Lady Cadwin,” said Lady Cecil, a little quieter. “But she never showed any irritation about it in public and look at the outcome of her union. I know she would be proud of who her daughter is now.”

“I hope you are right,” said Eleri.

“You will have to trust me, my lady.” Lady Cecil’s voice raised again. “Now, let me replace someone your own age, so you don’t have to listen to the drivel of an old woman.”

“You are hardly old, Lady Cecil,” said Eleri.

“You are too kind, Lady Eleri, but I still think you would enjoy meeting a few of the younger women in our group. Here is one now I think you will particularly like,” said Lady Cecil as they came to a short and plump dark-haired woman with a very pretty face. “Lady Rees, can I officially introduce you to Lady Eleri.”

“I am honored, my lady,” said Lady Rees with a curtsy.

“I am very pleased to meet you, my lady. I have happy to meet anyone, to be honest. It has been a few weeks since I have seen much company.”

Lady Rees nodded. “We heard you were a little ill when you first came, but I am glad to see you have recovered.” She moved a little closer to Eleri as Lady Cecil stared at her. “You are well, aren’t you.”

“As well as I can be,” said Eleri. “I was a little out of sorts when I first came, but I have become more myself the past few days. I am feeling more like me than I have in a while.”

“Good,” said Lady Rees, “Now, let us get you some tea, and you can walk around the room with me.”

Eleri nodded, and they went to the table with the tea service. After preparing a cup, Eleri took some time to drink her tea while Lady Reese and Lady Cecil stood near her.

“Let me think who we should introduce you to,” she said as she looked around the room. “Lady Pierce is very friendly if a little silly. There is no harm in her, but I would not try to speak of anything of significance as she can’t understand it but will repeat it at times.” Lady Rees gave Eleri a look, and Eleri nodded in understanding.

“I would avoid the Price sisters,” said Lady Cecil with a nod towards too middle-aged women with sour looks on their faces. “They are both hateful creatures which I suppose is why neither has found a husband. However, they do enjoy talking with a few of the men. They even have Lord Fellen’s ear from time to time.”

The rest of the afternoon passed with Lady Rees and Lady Cecil introducing Eleri to women and giving her hints on who she should and should not trust. Eleri found many of the women rather simple in their desires just to have a comfortable life, but in a few, she could sense a deep dissatisfaction with the way things were going in the kingdom. At least a half dozen gave her some hint of their family’s views not lining up with Lord Fellen.

She enjoyed Lady Rees and Lady Cecil’s company the most. Lady Cecil was wise and kind. Lady Rees was charming and laughed often. She had a quick wit and a naturally good nature that Eleri was drawn to. She could see relying on Lady Cecil’s direction one day and becoming fast friends with Lady Rees. Whether she resided in the city as the First Advisor or the queen, she hoped to further her relationship with both women.

At the end of the party, Lady Rees gave Eleri a small hug and a kiss on her cheek. Lady Cecil took her hand and leaned in. “Stay strong, my lady. I believe help is on the way. I will try to keep you updated.” She squeezed Eleri’s hand, and Eleri could feel a small rolled-up piece of paper pressed into her palm.

She held the paper in her closed fist, casually slipping it into the pocket of her gown as she smiled and curtsied at a few older ladies who wished her a pleasant afternoon.

“Lady Eleri,” said Ciara as she walked up to her. “Lord Fellen would like you to join him for a time before supper. I am to take him to you.”

She reached out and lightly touched Eleri’s arm, and Eleri felt a bit of power work her way into her body. The whisper she had heard the night of the feast again sounded in her ear, telling her she should do as she was told. Eleri shuddered very slightly, feeling the magic within her react as a little broke free. She had a quick vision of kissing Conri under the moonlight while being barely dressed.

She closed and opened her eyes, swaying a bit as she felt her magic destroy Ciara’s that had invaded her body. Recovering, she opened her eyes with what she hoped was a complacent smile. “I will be happy to join him.”

“Come this way then,” said Ciara as she held her arm out towards a door on the left wall.

They entered another of the palace’s wide hallways that Eleri didn’t think she had seen. She wondered how big the palace really was.

“You appeared to enjoy yourself today. The women took to you quickly,” said Ciara with a bit of annoyance in her voice.

“I am sure it has to do with me being within three weeks of becoming the queen of this land.”

“Is that why you are wearing that ridiculous dress?” asked Ciara with distaste. “Were you trying to put on a show today?”

“Lord Fellen provided this dress for me, and many like it. If you do not care for the style, you will have to speak with him,” said Eleri as she kept her eyes forward.

“He does like finery,” said Caira with a huff. “He forced me to make you that ridiculous bracelet when the leather one I made was far more appropriate. I think a little pain is useful in keeping you inline.”

“I believe kindness and respect would convince someone to listen more than pain and threats.”

“Maybe for some, but not for you. You are stubborn and proud. Pain and ridicule are all that will break you down. I imagine you take kindness like most fine women of the court. You see it as a weakness you can exploit.” Ciara brushed a bit of her dark hair back. “I don’t disagree with it. Kindness does nothing for the land but prolonge the suffering of the weak.”

Eleri bit her tongue for a moment, wondering if Ciara’s spell should still be at work in her. She kept her voice flat as she answered. “I am not opposed to kindness. I don’t think it is a weakness. Sometimes being kind in certain situations takes much more strength than acting as we might want. I am also not sure you understand kindness.”

“You think me simple?”

“Not at all. I think you are many things, but unintelligent is not want of them. I just think you don’t understand that kindness is not just about niceties. Kindness includes saying hard things to people when they need to hear it.”

“Still so opinionated,” said Ciara with a sigh. “We shall have to replace a way to beat that out of you. I would like it done literally, but our lord does not wish it just yet. Perhaps I can persuade him, though.”

“You know, Ciara, I always wondered. Why do you dislike me so much? I don’t think I have ever done anything to you. You seemed to hate me even when we were children,” said Eleri.

“You are a Cadwin and believe you are above almost everyone in this land. Your mother was a traitor to her people by marrying a shifter and sulling her line. Everyone knew your aunt would never carry on the Moss name. Now it is forever mixed with shifter and can never be made clean,” said Ciara. “Even when we were children, I knew you looked down on me.”

“I did not,” said Eleri. “I never looked down on anyone. My father would never have allowed it, and my mother taught me well about my heritage. If you thought I appeared, so it was due to your own prejudgements given to you by your parents, I am sure.”

“I do not wish to speak of our histories, Eleri. My parents are both gone as well as your mother.” A cruel smile formed on Ciara’s face as she looked at Eleri. “Our mothers died around the same time. I think, in the end, mine got the last laugh.”

Eleri turned sharply to fully looked at Ciara. “What do you mean?”

“It is no matter. We are here,” said Ciara. She opened the door in front of them and bowed low. “Have a pleasant afternoon, my lady.” Her voice was thick with mockery.

Eleri walked forward to see Lord Fellen waiting for her in the same parlor from the night of the feast. She had no idea how they had circled around to it, but she supposed it didn’t matter. He moved towards her as she entered. Before she could get too far, she felt something catch on her train. It caused her to trip, and she started to fall forward. Lord Fellen hurried ahead and caught her in his arms. She looked up at him before turning around to hear a small laugh as the door closed.

“Are you alright, Eleri?” he asked as he kept his arms around her.

“I am, my lord. You may let me go now,” she said as she attempted to straighten up.

He gave her a small smirk. “Perhaps I do not wish to. You do feel rather nice in my arms.”

“Lord Fellen, please,” said Eleri as she tried to move away from him.

“Forgive me, my lady. I should treat you with the respect you deserve.” He rubbed her arms slightly before letting her go.

Eleri moved a few steps back from him and adjusted her train before standing straight. Lord Fellen moved around her as though examining her.

“You look exquisite today. That gown fits you very well. I shall have to pay the palace seamstress extra for making it. It almost seems as though she knew your measurements.”

“Marron brocade is a bit much for a day gown or even to wear for a simple supper,” said Eleri as she ran her hand down her sides.

“Perhaps for most ladies, but you will be a queen. I wish you to start dressing like one now.” He turned and walked to the mantle. “I have something for you that will help.”

“I do not wish for any more gifts from you, my lord,” said Eleri.

Lord Fellen chuckled. “My lord, Eleri? Perhaps since we are to be married, you might call me by my given name?”

She searched her brain to think if she had ever heard it. “I am sorry, my lord, but I do not recall it.”

“It is not surprising. Very few call me by it anymore and certainly not in public. I should like you to do it, though. I think I would enjoy hearing it come from your lips.” He picked up a wooden box with two hands off the mantle and turned to her. “It is Maxen.”

“Lord Maxen Fellen,” said Eleri.

“I do like how you say it, but most things you say sound so musical” Eleri rolled her eyes as he smiled at her. “Do you not like compliments, Eleri? I would think you would be used to them. I am sure many men have flattered you.”

“Not as many as you might think,” said Eleri. “While some seem to enjoy my looks, they are usually driven away quickly by my words.”

“By your mind, you mean. Many men do not like an intelligent, outspoken woman. I am not one of them.” He opened the box. “I would like you to wear this when you are out in the palace. It with your gowns will make it so that others start to see you in your proper place.”

She looked into the box to replace a simple golden crown meant to be worn on the forehead. The gold was curved around almost like thin branches. In the middle was a large red stone.

“It is not as grand as the silver crown you shall wear, but it will help people start to see you as someone of authority.”

“I do not wish to wear it,” said Eleri. “I need no gifts or crowns.”

“I think you will want this one as it should only be yours. It was your mothers and worn by many Lady Cadwin’s before her,” said Lord Fellen.

“My mother wore this?” asked Eleri.

He nodded. “I saw it on her head often for suppers and events. She was very lovely, Eleri, though I think you might outshine even her.” He held the box with one hand and carefully took out the crown before setting the box on a nearby table. “Will you allow me?”

She looked at the crown, reaching her hand out to it. Gently touching it, she ran one of her fingers along the delicate golden lines. To think her mother had worn it made it seem so precious to her. She finally looked up at Lord Fellen and nodded.

He moved behind her with the crown and gently put it on her head. It sat perfectly on her forehead, just tight enough to make it secure. Eleri looked forward and could just see herself in the mirror over the fireplace.

“I was right,” said Lord Fellen in a whisper near her ear. “Even more lovely.”

She looked at herself in the mirror as one of her hands came up to touch the red gem in the center. As she gazed into the mirror in almost a trance, Lord Fellen bent down and kissed the spot where her neck met her shoulder. Eleri did not react at first. Her head felt cloudy, and having even one single thought was impossible.

Lord Fellen’s hands went to her waist as his lips moved up her neck. “I want you to be happy, Eleri. I would never hurt you. I want you to trust me.”

She put her hands on his and pulled them away before stepping forward. Her hand went to her chest, and she leaned forward, trying to replace her balance.

“I’m sorry,” said Lord Fellen as he moved closer to her. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you. I want to give you time; you are just very tempting.”

She turned to him, trying to think how to act or what to say. So much of her wanted to push him away and tell him never to touch her again, but she was afraid of angering him. As gentle as he had been with her, she had a strange feeling that something close to rage sat just below his surface. This was the man who had killed Conri’s parents. They would have killed Conri, too, and even her father if he had the chance. She knew those she loved were coming for her soon; she just had to replace a way to stay safe until then.

“It is fine, my lord. I was just a bit unsettled by it all. So much as happened, and I have had such strange feelings lately.”

“I understand it. You are away from all you have known, and you must miss those you left behind. I am willing to give you some time.”

She put on the most charming smile she could, trying to appear as if she was quite taken with him. She was beginning to think the crown she wore was bewitched somehow to add to the magic that was trying to control her. She hoped he would think it was working. “Thank you, my lord. Now perhaps we could just sit together in this parlor and get to know one another. If I am to be your queen, I would like to understand better the man I am going to marry.”

“I would like that, Eleri,” he said as he sat on the small sofa.

Taking a deep breath, she sat near him to listen to him talk. She was frightened and felt unclean from his attentions and being so near him, but she would do anything to get through this time and try to replace some information that could help Conri and Elathia.

After a long evening of listening to Lord Fellen go on and on about next to nothing, Eleri was beyond relieved to be in her room by herself. Bren was on the road seeing Lloyd Farrow back to his simple home in the woods, so he was not in residence to bother Eleri. Ciara was subdued the evening at supper, and Eleri had great hope she would face the rest of her night undisturbed.

As soon as she entered her room, she quickly took the rolled-up piece of paper out of her pocket and put it under her pillow before calling her servants. They helped her undressed, and Eleri felt much better after taking off her crown, letting her hair down, and being out from under the weight of the heavy gown. She dismissed her servants quickly and picked up the scroll under her pillow, taking it to the fireplace to curl up in one of the large chairs.

She broke the small seal on it and unrolled it. It was just a few lines as it was a very short note, and it was not in her father’s straightforward handwriting. The letters were looping and free-flowing. It said,

“I send you my love, though you may not want it. I wish I could lend you any strength I possess, but I am afraid a vast majority of it left with you. Please stay safe for just a little while longer. I plan to visit you the week before the moon festival. You say you are remembering, and I hope that is true. Whether you ever regain for me what you have lost, know that I will always be completely yours. -C

A single tear fell on the page, smearing some of the words. She cursed slightly before realizing she would have to burn the note anyway. She wished she could keep it to read it later for comfort, but it was too risky. She read over it once more as all the short, broken memories she had of the prince flooded her mind. Though she didn’t remember everything, she was beginning to see enough to know his love for her was real and that her heart had once not only been touched by him but wholly in his hands. She believed he could once again capture her heart, and she was more than willing to let him try. She folded up the note and kissed it before throwing it into the fire.

As she lay in her bed, though she knew she had much to hope for, she cried herself to sleep. Her dreams were a strange jumble of Conri. Much of it was like watching scenes from someone else’s life, but it still gave her comfort. She awoke sometime in the night to a dark room with the fire burned down.

She turned in her bed, so she lay on her back, staring up at the golden ceiling above her. Closing her eyes, she suddenly felt as if she were not alone. A new feeling crept over her, but it was not fear. It was something else she quickly realized was a mixture of desire and comfort. She was suddenly not in her bed in the silver palace but lay in a room in some village inn. Though the bed was not the most comfortable thing, she hardly noticed. She looked up to see Conri hovering over her, a small smile on his face.

“All I want is you. I will ask nothing more. I want no promises, just a chance to love you if it is what you want.”

“I do want you,” she whispered.

He leaned down to kiss her, and Eleri was lost in a dream filled with pleasure and the feeling of being thoroughly loved.