Touched by Darkness: (Sins of The Fallen Book 2)
Touched by Darkness: Chapter 8

I’m lying on the lounger in front of the pool in Amenadiel’s backyard, staring up at the countless stars overhead. I missed this when I was back in Eden—the endless night. Now I miss the sun on my cheeks. I guess we’re never fully happy, after all.

My thoughts drift to Freya and the horrible act I committed last night. I’ve killed before, but this felt like crossing a boundary, even more so than when I killed Oliver.

What came out to play was something truly vicious, dark, and untamed.

“Look at you playing with fire.”

The small flames on my fingertips flicker out, and I look up at Dmitriy as he lowers himself down beside me on the lounger next to mine. “Why do you have a pool? Isn’t it always too cold?”

His shoulders lift and fall in a careless shrug. “It’s a heated pool.”

Oh… I guess I should have figured it out earlier when I sat gazing at the steam that floats on the surface. But my brain is occupied with replaying last night’s events on repeat. As if I haven’t tortured myself enough.

“So, the fire?” He lifts his chin, and I rub my finger and thumb together as if I can still feel the flame.

“What you saw is what you get. I can’t do anything else yet.”

“It’ll come. The more you let the darkness in, the easier you’ll manipulate hellfire.”

“What’s your secret?” I ask him.

He sucks his lips between his teeth in thought as he regards me. Dressed in black jeans and a black button-down, Dmitriy looks like the night brought to life. “Hellfire is a destructive energy at its core. You need to replace a way to channel it, either through anger, fear, or grief. Whatever darkness is inside you, lean into it and let it guide you. One thing is for sure, you can’t manipulate hellfire with light. It belongs to the night.”

“You’re different than I thought.”

With his elbows on his knees, he rubs his palms together. “Why is that?”

“I don’t know,” I reply. “You were cruel when I first met you.”

“I’m still cruel where Daemon is concerned.”

“Can I ask a question?”

Dmitriy’s eyebrows rise, then he nods. “Sure.”

“Have you ever done something so bad that you felt like you were drowning in your own darkness?”

His eyes scan over the pool before returning to me. “I think you need to ask my father. According to the stories, the original angels struggled with the darkness at first. Some got lost to it.”

“What do you mean by ‘lost?’”

He shrugs again, then looks back out over the pool. “I don’t know. It consumed them to the point of self-destruction, I would assume. You should ask my dad. He’ll be able to tell you.”

“I think he’s been here too long. What I experienced last night…” I drift off, and Dmitriy looks back at me.

“He told me.”

I nod my head slowly. “I don’t know what came over me. I killed that woman in cold blood.” My eyes meet his. “I tortured her for hours. I even taunted her with her dead family because the scent of her fear awoke something so dark inside me that couldn’t be leashed. It scared me, Dmitriy. I’m scared.”

He drags a hand over his face and blows out a breath. “To answer your question, in a fashion, I was born of the darkness. It has always been a part of me. I have never known light the way you have. The way my father has. The same moral compass that guides you north, guides me south. It’s in my very nature to inflict pain and instill fear.”

I consider his words in silence while he looks up at the stars.

I’m just about to open my mouth to speak, when he says, “Show me the flame.”

Holding my hand up in front of me, I calm my mind and focus on centering my breath. A small flame flickers to life in the middle of my palm and my lips spread into a smile. When I look back up at Dmitriy, his eyes sparkle with something unfamiliar.

An emotion I can’t place.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“Instead of calming your thoughts, let your mind wander back to last night. What was the one thing that brought you the most depraved pleasure? What fed the monster inside you? Was it the look in her eyes? The sound of her crying children? The blood? Her screams? What was it? Bring it to the forefront and focus on it.”

“Your family is dead.”

I gasp when the flame in my hand shoots up, then sizzles out just as fast.

Dmitriy stands up and clasps my shoulder. “You’ll get there. Keep focusing your mind on the darkness, and you’ll be able to make that flame burn taller and brighter.” Leaning down, he whispers in my ear, “Let the darkness in.”

Then he walks away, and I stare at my palm, a smile playing on my lips. I blow out a breath and start again, conjuring a small flame. It flickers and dances in the moonlight while I strain my mind to hold it. That’s the hardest part. If I lose focus, it flickers out.

Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply and let my mind run free. It sweeps through the dark forest, hunting for that one thing.

That one thing to latch onto.

“My advice, new girl. Do yourself a favor and look for someone in your own league.”

“Can we help you, new girl?”

“Watch it, new girl.”

My eyes slowly drift open, and my lips part as I stare at the tall flame in my hand. My gaze soon strays to my fingertips, and the flame follows, dancing across my skin like a soft caress.

I snuff it out, listening to it hiss inside my closed fist.

It’s time I take back what is mine.

They kidnapped me the first time and gave me no choice but to offer them my innocence. They feasted on it like a pack of hyenas. Tore into it with sharp teeth and animalistic grunts.

They are the reason behind the darkness swirling in my gaze.

They created the monster residing in me.

She is their creation.

And I am done keeping her leashed.

Now the question is, how do you piss off someone like Daemon enough to catch his interest? Because he’s my starting point. He’s the leader of the pack. If I want to catch all their attention, I have to first gain Daemon’s. It won’t work if I try to seduce Ronan and Alaric, or even Dariana first.

I’m overthinking this. No one challenges Daemon. I learned that last time. It’s not a behavior he’s used to.

Now, the girls giggling and throwing flirty glances at him as they walk past are a different ballgame. He’s the heir to the throne and Hell’s own version of a royal. People worship at his feet.

And he uses and discards others like they’re objects for his entertainment. I was right, the night he kidnapped me, when I thought he was bored. Daemon thirsts for a challenge, and I provided him with one.

“You look deep in thought,” Dmitriy whispers under his breath as he opens his locker.

I drag my eyes away from Daemon and his friends. “Huh?”

“My point exactly,” he quips, removing the books he needs for the lesson.

I open my locker too, and flash him a smile.

“What’s that?”

I take out the object in question. “You must know what this is?”

Dmitriy shuts his locker, then straightens up. “Forgive me for not being fluent in human.”

“It’s an American football.”

“And?”

“Your father gifted it to me. He said, and I quote, ‘This will do until you learn to throw fireballs at his ass.’”

Dmitriy chokes on his saliva. “What?”

“Never mind. Do you know what surprised me the most when I left Heaven?”

With an eye roll, he shoulders his bag. “Tell me.”

“My strength.” I send the ball flying at Daemon and it hits him on the back of the head with a hard thwack I swear I can hear from here.

I can’t stop the laughter that bubbles up from my chest.

“The fuck?!” Dmitriy looks pale.

“Do you think it’ll work? Is he sufficiently pissed off?”

“Oh, it’ll work. And that’s my cue to get the fuck out of here.”

He bolts, and I press a hand over my mouth to stop more crazed laughter from bubbling out of me like a stream.

When I look back, I meet a wall of muscle and two furious pits of hell that glare at me with such force I almost shrink back.

Almost…

“Admit it, Daemon, it was a good shot.”

His hand flies out, and he grabs me by my throat, then shoves me back against the lockers. I yelp, latching onto his wrist with my fingers. Holy fuck, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed his burning attention and the way he excavates me with his eyes as if he wants to see inside me.

But the emotion at the forefront, the one emotion that shouts the loudest, is relief.

Relief at being back in his orbit.

To be seen by him again.

His fingers dig into my throat, and his masculine, woodsy scent surrounds me as he leans in close. “You want to play, sweetheart?”

We’ve been here before. I remember another time when Daemon said those exact same words.

But I’m not the same innocent girl anymore.

“Let go of me,” I growl. Please don’t.

Daemon likes a fight, so I’ll fight.

He lifts me slightly, then slams me back against the locker. “Shoot another ball at me and I’ll make you regret ever setting foot at this academy again.”

My wings unfold to their full glory, and I revel in the surprise in his eyes as I shove him off with enough strength to cause him to stumble back. “Threaten me again, crown boy, and you’ll have a war on your hands.” I stride away with my head held high and a seductive sway to my hips.

Try to unsee me now, fucker.

As soon as I turn the corner, I slink into the nearest empty classroom and press my forehead against the closed door. My heart is thundering so loudly, I can barely hear the hum of students in the hallway. I’m alive, truly alive, for the first time since my return. I have his attention again, and it feels good.

It was hell to walk these hallways and feel invisible.

A wallflower no one noticed.

Truth is, I didn’t know if I would ever catch his attention again. Without the shine of innocence, white wings, and a promise of corruption, how could I make him see me again?

Just then, the handle rattles, and I jump back with my heart in my throat.

Dmitriy enters and quickly shuts the door behind him with a soft click. His dark eyes replace mine and his lips unfurl in a slow smile. “He’s definitely sufficiently pissed off.”

“Yeah?”

He nods, leaning back against the door.

Suddenly unsure, I wrap my arms around myself and let my gaze skate over the room. Dmitriy was so willing to destroy Daemon, and now he’s helping me?

I know I can’t trust anyone here at the academy, but my heart still wants to see the good in people.

“What’s your plan now? Continue throwing balls at him?”

I smile despite myself. “It was a good shot.”

“It was an epic shot.”

“I don’t know what my plan is. Daemon always had a thing for my wings, and he has seen them now. I flared them at him. It should be—”

“Wait a minute… You flared your wings at Daemon?”

“Uh, yes?”

Dmitriy bursts out laughing, and it goes on and on.

“What?”

“Let’s just say, you’ve definitely got his attention now. Flaring your wings is the equivalent of challenging someone for their position. Like a lesser wolf challenging the alpha. Wingspan equals power. Yours are huge, as you know. It’s sexy as hell.”

I grimace. “Please, don’t say that again.”

“Do you want me to lie? Daemon will be rubbing one out tonight in your honor while imagining a million ways to force you to submit, willingly or unwillingly.”

A shiver runs through me.

A delicious fucking shiver.

The kind of shiver that makes me squeeze my thighs together.

“Come on,” Dmitriy says, opening the door. “Let’s get to class.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea if Daemon sees me with you.”

“On the contrary,” he says when we walk out. “This time around, it’ll work to your advantage.”

“I’ll hold you personally responsible if you’re wrong.”

“Come on,” he says with an easy smile. “You should have learned by now that he is competitive by nature. Even more so where his dearest cousin is concerned.”

The hallways are almost empty now except for a few stragglers, including us.

We turn the corner. “You’re as bad as each other.” I look at him, slowing to a halt. “Do you really not remember me?”

His head shakes, and I blow out a breath. “It’s just so hard to get my head around. I have all these memories of you and your cousin. Lots of history, you know? It feels strange to start over again.”

He pulls me to a stop. “I’m not gonna pretend to be a good person, but you can always talk to me.”

With a snort and a soft laugh, I walk off. “Even though you tried to use me to piss off Daemon, and your father tried to kill me? I don’t think so. It’ll take a lot more for me to trust you.”

“That’s fair. So try me. Give me something.”

“Give you something?”

“You know…” We come to a stop outside the classroom. “Trust me with something simple. Let me show you I’m not this horrible version you remember me as.”

Chewing on my lip, I regard him. The side he showed of himself last time was as true as the side I’m seeing of him now. That’s one thing I’m learning about Hell. Everything exists in a prism of colors here, and nothing is black and white. Daemon once said morals don’t exist in Eden, but I think they do. Maybe they express themselves differently, and maybe they’re sometimes questionable, but they exist in their own shade of gray.

“Okay…” I draw in a deep breath. “It hurts to have to fight for their affection. I’m no one to them now.” With a sigh, I whisper, “I’m repeating myself.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Dmitriy says, lowering his voice to match mine. “Get it off your chest.”

“It’s just… It hurts to lose their love. All those memories… It’s all gone, and now I have to make them fall in love with me again. And I don’t even know if I’ll succeed. What if I don’t? That thought scares me more than I want to admit.”

Dmitriy watches me for a moment with a sympathetic look in his eyes—the kind of look that makes my skin crawl. Why? Because I hate feeling weak, and I have no control over my situation right now.

“It’s okay to be scared. You should use it. What was it you said? You need to piss Daemon off. Whatever you did last time, keep doing it.”

I nod slowly, staring past him at the closed door. “It’ll all work out. I can’t give up yet.”

Nudging my shoulder, he smiles. “Besides, you nailed him in the head. How can he not fall for you now?”

I snort a laugh, as I open the door and enter the classroom. “He’s more likely to kill me.”

“To him, that’s the equivalent of love.”

My head shakes as I pull out a chair and take a seat. “That just shows that you don’t know him.”

“I know he’s a pain in the fucking ass, and I’d gladly see him dethroned.”

The teacher turns around, and her lips spread in a smile that’s too big for her face. It’s the kind of smile that makes me shrink back in my seat because I know what’s happening.

“Students, we have a new pupil in the class.” As one, they all turn to look at me, except for Daemon, who’s too busy scrolling on his phone. “Would you like to come up here and tell us a little about yourself?”

No, absolutely not. Scooting my chair back, I reluctantly walk up to the front, inhaling a breath before turning around and flashing my brightest smile. It’s so fake that I should win an award.

“Say hello to our new student, everyone.” The teacher smiles at me gently.

Daemon finally looks up from his phone, watching me closely with those dark, stormy eyes of his that remind me of thunderstorms and lightning flashes.

Ronan, on the other hand, has an easy smile on his face. The kind of smile that makes girls swoon and drop to their knees.

Meanwhile, Alaric is watching me through narrowed eyes, as if he’s trying to figure me out.

I barely acknowledge them. In order to catch their attention, I have to do the opposite of the other girls here and play hard to get, which isn’t easy to do when I want to throw myself at their feet and beg for their love.

“Tell us a little something about yourself.”

Great, now I must invent a story. Making up lies on the spot isn’t exactly my forte, so I try to stick as close to the truth as I can. “I was recently kicked out of Eden, and now here I am, rocking the black wings.”

Dmitriy hides his chuckle behind his closed fist.

The teacher blinks. “Y-you were kicked out of Eden?”

“In a nutshell, yes.”

“No one has been kicked out of Eden since…” Her eyes flit over to Daemon.

“The fall? Yes, I know, which is why Dmitriy’s uncle has so kindly taken me in.”

I can practically feel Daemon’s eyes narrow.

“Okay then,” she says, dragging the words out as if she thinks I’m full of shit. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

With a shrug of my shoulders, I prance back to my seat, more than happy to blend back into the shadows.

“Do you always make situations awkward?” Dmitriy asks as he leans in, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

“It’s a specialty. Stop sidetracking me with your dry humor. You’re still the villain in this story.”

“Hmm,” he muses, opening his book. “I think your story is about to crown a new villain.”

My eyes follow his, and I watch as Daemon shares a dark look with Ronan and Alaric before smirking and stretching his arm out over the back of Dariana’s chair.

Excitement courses through my veins at the thought of taming my own Captain Hook.

Peter Pan, who? Screw the good guy. I want the darkness and the violent destruction in Daemon’s eyes.

I want him to unleash his storm.