Unsteady
: Chapter 37

She’s perfect.

I can feel a little hint of anger rolling off her and it’s intoxicating. She’s intoxicating.

Sadie Gray is my fucking girlfriend now. I want to shout it in the little room so that my dad, the trainers—hell, the whole building—can hear me.

My mouth opens, desperate to replace some reason to refer to her as my girlfriend, when her little hand smacks me in the chest. Once, twice—before I grip her wrists in one hand and use the other to angle her chin where she’s hiding from me

“I’m starting to think I can’t do this,” she mumbles, closing her eyes. My stomach drops out of my ass, and I can’t stop myself from grabbing her wrists a little tighter.

It’s hockey, that dark, mocking voice that I’m realizing is a version of my own beckons. Hockey makes you something useless and pathetic. She can see what you were before, and she doesn’t want this thing you are now. The thing you’ll be forever.

But I’ve been through this before, and as much as I want to use her to push away the darkness, I want to love her more. So I close my eyes and remind myself that I’m okay. I’m healing.

“Sadie.” I breathe, my hand tucking into her hair.

Her eyes blink open, swimming with tears and I take in the sight like a hit to the gut. A hit she makes good on.

“You scared me,” she cries—angry and sad, and so beautiful it hurts. “You were just lying there and I-I couldn’t tell if you were okay or alive—”

She smacks me again, just a little flick of her palm to my chest.

I huff a laugh and draw her closer, kissing her cheek.

“I was just doing my Darth Vader impression. Trying to do his death justice.”

She laughs, the sound almost jarring against the red splotches of her cheeks, tears still free flowing. “I thought you weren’t breathing.”

“Dedicated to the role.” I smirk.

She shoves me off of her completely, her brow furrowing as she takes me in again. I take the moment to examine her back, eyes widening and smile broadening at the 51 over the right chest plate of her oversized bomber.

“You look so fucking perfect, Gray. I like the jacket.”

She furrows the divot in her brow further. “Rora made it.”

“I want you in my jersey, too.”

She ignores me, still examining every piece of exposed skin, flickering her gaze between my eyes. “You’re okay?”

I whisper, “I’m perfect, baby.”

The soft name does her in.

Her body slams onto mine, knocking me flat back on the table as she climbs me. She’s layering kisses to me between laughs and sobs, and I think I could stay like this forever, with the comforting weight of her on top of me.

It feels like before, the Hockey House packed with people—half of whom I’ve never seen in my life—and then the circle of us; Freddy, Bennett, Holden and myself along with most of our second line; Caleb, Sanders, and a freshman who’s become a regular.

Sadie and Rora should be here by now—even if it had been like pulling teeth to get them here. My parents nearly got on their knees to beg for her to let Liam and Oliver have a slumber party at their house, but only after coaxing from Rora and myself, did she agree.

She trusts them.

Something I plan to reward her for later.

Despite the win, and the fact that he only let in two goals, Bennett looks pissed.

Next to me, he sips on a beer—still quite a rare sight for the meticulous goalie—but he’s distracted, frustrated more than usual.

A few of the football players we hang out with come to join us by the campfire, followed by Rora and Sadie—still in their homemade jackets, but now decked in scarves and hats.

I stand so quickly that there’s a little chuckle from Holden as Paloma plants herself into his lap and tries to distract him from the conversation he was having with Freddy. But she doesn’t need to, because Freddy’s already up and getting laughs from Aurora who plays self- consciously with her straight hair.

“Hey.” I smile, grabbing Sadie and yanking her close to me, planting a kiss on her forehead and rubbing my hands up and down her arms. “Rora, your hair looks pretty.”

She flushes, but I can tell by the squeeze of Sadie’s hand and her smiling nod that I did right with the compliment. Freddy tucks her up under his arm and yells something about beer pong, and she gives him another startling grin.

I would worry, but Freddy has assured me he’s purely in friend mode. Still, it makes me slightly nervous because Rora looks at him with stars in her eyes—romantic and gooey. Even if Bennett and I warned him, Aurora might still get hurt by the flirty forward.

“Wanna play?” I ask, kissing Sadie again but she shakes her head.

“Just wanna be around you, actually.” Her hands snake up over my shoulders and grip the muscles there, eliciting a quiet groan as she presses. “Can we go to your room?”

“Already?” I tease, pulling back and flicking her nose. “I’m not that kind of man, Gray.”

She laughs, husky and sexy and my jeans feel tight.

“A bathroom, then,” she teases back.

I grip her chin with a growl and lean down to kiss her softly. “Whatever my girlfriend wants, she gets.”

And then, I embarrass her, tossing her up and over my shoulder as she squeals in protest—but it’s lighthearted and full of giggles.

“Sorry, guys—raincheck on the beer pong. Have to go take care of my very needy girlfriend,” I announce, beaming with pride.

Cheers and laughter boast around us as I offer a quick salute to my team and take my light little prize, with soft fists against my back, through the back door and up to my room.

I sit her down and turn to click the door closed, but she’s already stripping off her jacket as I turn back to her. Before I can move, she shoves me against the door and sinks to her knees.

“Oh, fuck,” I etch out, releasing the door handle and scooping her hair up off her face and neck gently. “Sadie.”

“Yes, Captain?” she says, her hands eager and swift as they undo my belt and pull my shorts and boxers down in one fell swoop. I can’t even attempt another word from my mouth before her lips—dark cherry red and freshly bitten—are pressed to the crown of my dick. Her mouth opens then, tongue licking lightly before she takes her small hand and wraps it around my dick, tapping me on her tongue.

I’m going to come and my girl has barely done a thing.

My hands grip into her hair, massaging the base of her neck and down to her shoulders as she takes her time exploring me with her mouth.

She is perfect, and I want her to know how deep my feelings run. I’d put a ring on her finger if it wouldn’t terrify her. I know she won’t run from me now, but I’m prepared for the strength it’ll take in the future.

“You’re so beautiful,” I repeat, pressing my finger to her cheek tenderly. “So fucking perfect. God, seeing you like this—”

She moans and the reverberations travel up my cock like a shiver. I barely grab hold of my slipping control, as her hands rest on her knees and she looks up at me, my cock halfway out of her mouth.

She’s giving me control. Our push and pull, she’s letting me have this moment.

“That’s my girl,” I whisper, thrusting, slow and gentle into her mouth. She squirms beneath the praise, like she wants to touch herself but won’t. Unless…

“Are you wet for me baby?” I ask, and she keens, rocking slightly and taking me deeper. “Do you need me?”

“Want you,” she gasps, pulling off and then sucking me right back in with an intoxicating noise.

“Touch yourself, Gray. Take what you need.”

Her hand dives into the band of her jeans, shoving down and I hate that I can’t see what she’s doing up close, but her movements give me enough to imagine. And when it comes to Sadie Gray, I have an incredible imagination.

She rocks back and forth, using her hand to grind on.

Sadie moans again, her eyes shuttering with relief before blinking up at me, wicked delight stretching her mouth like she’s smiling around my dick.

I barely have time to warn her, trying to pull myself back, but she shoves up higher on her knees and grabs my ass, pulling me far into her throat. Stars shoot behind my eyes, lost between needing to throw my head back but desperate to keep my gaze on her as I come.

Waiting even a second seems too long, so when I reach for her and nearly trip out of my pants, we both divulge into laughter. I manage to get my shoes off, along with everything but my shirt, and then grab for her hips, pulling her jeans to roll down her thighs. I try not to get too distracted by the expanse of her skin beneath my hands. It’s when she takes off her shirt, revealing no fucking bra that I can’t stop from grabbing her up into my arms and tossing her little muscled body onto the bed.

I press her back and try to eat her out, but she begs and yanks on my arms until I pull back.

“This was supposed to be a treat.”

I laugh. “You’re always a treat, baby.”

“A reward,” she groans. “For winning—though I’m thinking ‘for being alive’ might be a better incentive for you, Captain.” Her foot connects with my chest and I wrap a hand around her ankle, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t be a brat.” I chuckle. “Just tell me what you want, I’ll give you anything.”

Her head shakes and she sighs into the mattress, lulling side to side. “You’re too good to me. Stop it—I was trying to be sexy and… and I had this whole plan. And your stupid ass is ruining it.”

The way she’s whining sounds too much like her sex kitten voice and I’m rock hard again.

“Want to start over?”

She huffs and crosses her arms, pouting like a grumpy teen—but eventually nods.

“Alright. What do you want me to do, Gray?”

Her body pushes up off the mattress, hair cascading around her in little waves that show it was braided earlier. Her hands press to my chest and push me back, to which I easily comply, stretching out beneath her as she straddles my hips. There is only a slip of silk fabric keeping the heat of her from directly pressing to my very hard cock.

Her eyes are dark beneath the smoky eyeshadow, darker as she takes me in, completely at her mercy.

“Alright, hotshot.” She smirks and my hips pulse upwards. “Easy.” She giggles.

But Sadie turns slightly serious as she reverses our usual stance and grips my chin in her little hand.

“I want to make you feel good, because you always make me feel good. And you’re not going to control it, okay? You’re just going to lay back.” She leans forward, pressing her bare chest to mine. “Relax,” she drags out, nipping and licking my ear. “And let me take care of you.”

I shudder violently as she tongues my neck, biting down on my collarbone until I hiss.

As she draws back, her hands squeeze at the muscles in my shoulders as best she can—her hands are too small, even if they’re strong, to really do much. But it feels heavenly.

Everything she does feels heavenly, because it’s her.

She pushes her satin thong to the side, before sliding on top of me, warm and wet and endlessly ready for me.

“God, Rhys,” she groans. I thrust up again at the noise. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

Her praise feels like standing in the sun, warming me everywhere.

She rides me slowly, gripping me like a vice between her legs while praise pours from her lips like water. It doesn’t matter how small she looks right now, perched on top of me like this, she could kill me if she wanted and I’d say thank you as I bleed out beneath her.

She comes, and it’s just like every time I’ve seen it before—like she’s a little surprised, like it catches the careful, controlled girl totally off guard. And then, her lips spread into a little sleepy smile and she looks down at me

I’m overwhelmed with that feeling again—the want to keep her here, protected and safe and mine. Until I’m biting down on my tongue, desperate to shove the I love you, I love you, I love you back down my throat.

I’m not sure how much longer I can hold it back, but I’m desperate to keep her. And this—her melting into my arms and kissing my shoulders, peppering me with gentle movements that I copy until we’re laying with our heads at the footboard, whispering quiet secrets into the glittering dark—this is more than enough.