Waindale
twelve. hear her wisdom

My mother’s persistent knocking sounds against my bedroom door. “Are you dressed? They’ll be here any minute!” She calls from the other side.

I lay on my bed, dressed on the top but not the bottom. It took me a while to pick the top and put it on and crash into my blankets. Doing the same with pants seems like a lot. Getting up and walking to my closet feels as if it might drain the last bit of my energy. If I tumble to my butt—I may just lay on the floor and stare at the wall for the rest of the night. The blank section of wall displayed by my bed has gotten old.

"Almost,” I manage to yell.

I called in sick to work. I wish I could call in sick to dinner. Vivian has been chatting about this dinner all week while I’ve been contemplating my future and existence. I wanted to tell her so many times what Adam said to me Tuesday, but none of them felt right. It’s feels as if I’m keeping this giant, encumbering secret. Not being able to seek help from my mother is the absolute worst of all. Before Waindale we were so close. I’m don’t know where we stand now.

“Wren! They’re here!”

Rolling onto my back, I stare up at the ceiling. It takes me a few seconds before I’m rushing to my closet and tugging on my jeans that lay in a heap on the floor. I leave my bedroom with tousled hair and spot Vivian at the end of the hall. She’s standing with a man and woman, smiling as usual. Her eyes dart to me as my footsteps grow near.

“Wrenley!” She reels me in and holds me beside her.

I attempt a smile and look to our guests. My mother steps away from a long embrace with who I am guessing is Tali Smith. “It’s so good to see you, Tali. It’s really been too long,” my mother takes in a breath. “And this must be—”

“This is my husband Tom,” the woman brings forward the man, and Vivian watches them proudly. My mother gives the man, Tom, a hug as well. “And of course our daughter Vivian. It’s such a coincidence that the girls have become such good friends.”

“It was really meant to be,” my mom says and glances at me to make sure I’m wearing pants. She always manages to pick up on my moods. “I’m so grateful that Wren and Vivian are getting on so well. I was a little worried about moving back home and having her struggle to make friends—”

“Alright, Mom,” I mumble.

“I should have known that a Smith would come to her rescue, right? I mean, that’s how we became friends way back when. We’ll have to tell you girls the story,” my mother gives a suggestive look and the two of them can’t help but chuckle. “Come on, my Mom is just getting dressed. She’s so excited to see you.”

When the group moves on to the kitchen, I stay put and anchor Vivian back. “We really have to talk,” I say quietly, aware of the others proximity.

“Right now? But your Grandma—”

"Now,” I press and lead her down the hall.

“What is it, Wrenley? What happened?”

I pull her into my room and close the door behind us. With my back against it, I face Vivian and she stands with her arms crossed. “Something happened.”

“I got that far.”

“With Adam,” I add on and her ears perk up.

“You saw him again? Where? When? What did he say?”

My face falls. “I-It happened a few days ago.”

“A few days? How many days? Why didn’t you tell me?” I hold my gaze on her and she settles down. “You can tell me. I won’t say anything to anyone, I promise.”

“Okay. Well, I needed to talk to him. I couldn’t wait any longer for him to make up his mind, so I went out in the forest and managed to get him to come to me. I asked about us unmating and he—oh god, I can’t even say it.”

“Say it! What did he do?”

I shake my head. “Just thinking about it makes my throat close up. I can’t even breathe.”

Vivian grabs onto me, nearly shaking me. “Say it, Wrenley. Say it so I can be right.”

“H-He maybe, maybe—he brought up the possibility of us not, well—”

“Wrenley!”

“He said that maybe we shouldn’t unmate each other,” I spill and feel all air drain from my body. “Adam brought up the possibility and I just ran away.”

With wide eyes, her grip on me tightens. “You ran?”

I nod.

“You didn’t even say anything?”

“I said that I have to go.”

Vivian releases me and brings her hands to her head. “Why would you do that? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, I was right. I knew I’d be right! I told everyone that you two would be together and they all gave me weird looks. They all said that he would never—but he did! He wants to be with you!”

I sink against the door and sit in my puddle of dismay. Bringing my knees to my chest, I mutter, “Be together—we can’t.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“I’m not one of you. This isn’t my world. I don’t belong in it.”

Vivian rolls her eyes. “Stop it. It’s not like you’re the only human to ever have a mate. It’s not completely unheard of.”

“Really? A human mated to an Alpha?”

“Well, sure, maybe it’s a little unheard of, but don’t let that discourage you,” she says and sits next to me. “It may not be the world you grew up in, but it’s definitely welcoming you with open arms. I mean, you have all of us and Adam. It’s not like you’re alone in this.”

I sigh. “And I’m grateful for your help, but I can’t just have a mate. I can’t be mated to someone I hardly know.”

“That’s usually how it is for all of us.”

“But—tell me—what should I expect? What am I supposed to expect from being mated to him?”

Vivian looks forward. “Look, Wrenley, I won’t lie to you. You’re going to fall in love with him and do all the things people in love do, on top of things werewolves do. It’s a lot.”

“I’m going to fall in love with him?”

We both stare across the room. “Yeah,” she says.

“So Adam is suppose to fall in love with me too, then?”

Vivian nods.

“I know what people in love do,” I murmur, feeling my insides flip. “I-I guess I’ll have to learn everything that werewolves do.”

“Is that a yes?” Her eyes spring to me.

“I don’t know. It’s a: let’s see what happens.”

“When will you see him next?”

I shrug. “We didn’t really make plans. I just ran off, remember?”

“You should meet. You need to talk things through,” she tells herself more than me. “I’ll set something up. I’ll set up a meeting between you too.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to see him.”

“You’ll have a few days. Think over everything. Think about any questions you might have. You two can meet at my house, or something. I’ll step out so you can be alone, and I won’t come back till you’re done.”

I wear my unease like makeup. She slings her arm around my shoulder. “Trust me, Wren. No more running away from each other.”

I look at her and smile a little. Just as my heart calms in my chest, an abrupt knocking shakes the door and sends us shooting forward.

“Girls! Dinner’s ready!”

After my shift I walk down to the water, not wanting to go home just yet. I take the familiar path along the small shops and pass the native one that caught my eye before. In the window is that same carving of a wolf. My hand comes up to the glass and runs gently along is as if I am running my fingers through it’s fur. The haunting sensation of Adam returns and I close my eyes for a moment. When they open, I replace myself entering the shop.

It’s dimly lit and warm inside. Paintings hang on the walls with lights aimed down at them. Shelves stocked with wood carvings and other spiritual figures stand in the middle of the room, breaking it up. My eyes hop from one thing to the next, attempting to take it all in. It’s not until I notice a large painting on the back wall that my mind goes blank. My feet take me to it unconsciously. A counter stands in my way, but my palms rest against it as I nearly lean towards it.

The painting is of a woman with long dark hair. Stars dance around her in bright clusters as she holds a yellow, full moon in her hands.

“Goddess of the moon,” a voice sounds from behind.

I glance back and watch as a woman makes her way toward me. Her eyes take in the painting as mine were. She looks up at it with pride.

“My mother painted it,” she says. “Before she passed.”

“It’s beautiful,” I say and peer back to it. “The Goddess of the moon?”

“Yes. An old goddess. There are many different kinds, but to my mother, to my family, there was only one.”

I bite my cheek. Is she one of them?

“What does she represent?” I ask.

“Enlightenment, eternity, and to my family, she bonds us together with love. She represents the strength we have. She gives us the power to feel and care and love one another.”

Turning to the woman, I say, “I’ve been bonded to someone. I’m not like him, and I don’t know him very well. Could she help me?”

The woman nods slowly and walks behind the counter. She bends down and shuffles through things I can’t see. She comes back up with a necklace in her hand. She sets it on the counter and slides it over to me. On a black cord is a small carving of a woman. Her arms reach up and wrap around the cord as a moon rests in her center.

“Keep her with you,” the woman says. “A gift.”

I pick up the necklace and study the carving. Securing it around my neck, I look to her.

“She loves her children and those who love her children. Keep her with you and hear her wisdom.”

I nod and hold the pendant against my chest.

“I will. Thank you.”