Waindale
twenty-two. did you hear

I enter the house as I listen to Adam drive off. Immediately I’m bombarded by my mom. She comes out of nowhere and takes me down the hall, her hand gripped tightly on my arm as her eyes watch for grandma. I can hear her in the kitchen; it’s nearly dinner time. My mom ignores my questioning whispers and brings me into her bedroom. She closes and locks the door behind us.

“Why did you leave?” She asks lowly. “Y-You went off with that guy without asking. You can’t do that.”

I straighten myself up. “I had to talk to him about everyone replaceing out. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just Adam.”

“It’s not just Adam. I don’t know Adam. For all I know, Adam is some freak monster luring you in to kill you and eat you.”

“So you believe in werewolves?”

She sighs and sits down on the edge of her bed. “God, I don’t know. Maybe? Tali can be very convincing.”

“I suppose this is better than you not believing me at all. But you should know that he’s not going to kill me.”

“Since when were werewolves peaceful creatures? I could never picture Tali hurting anyone, but you know, the movies think otherwise,” she mutters. “This is all insane. Should I expect to wake up tomorrow and realize that this has all been a weird dream?”

“It’s a lot to process, but you’re definitely not dreaming.”

“The insane part isn’t even the werewolves themselves, it’s that your soul is connected to one of their souls. What does that even mean? Why you? If I could protect you from all of this, I would, Wren. I wish you told me sooner. What kind of mom am I? What mom doesn’t know that her child is involved with werewolves?”

I sit beside her on the bed. “You don’t have to protect me. I can handle it myself. I don’t want you to worry about me; that was my mistake today. I shouldn’t have scared you like that.”

“I’d rather know,” she assures me. “And I want to meet this Adam guy. I need to know his deal. I don’t want you running off with him until I do, go it?”

My shoulders fall. “We’ve had enough of introductions for today. I met his mom and it didn’t go well. She doesn’t like me at all, and, well, it’s complicated.”

“Why wouldn’t his mom like you? Doesn’t she get the whole ′our souls are bonded’ thing? Isn’t she one of them?”

“Yeah, she is, and she knows that we’re mates, but the issue is that I’m human. She, uh, doesn’t like that at all.”

“Oh,” my mom says, trying to catch up. “Tali never seemed to have an issue with who I am.”

“It’s because we’re mates. They can be friends with humans, just not involved in the other way, I guess.”

“They can be friends, not lovers?” My mom clarifies, making my face scrunch up.

I get up from the bed and face her. “Don’t—not like that. Adam and I aren’t like that.”

She brings her hands up. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to assume. You didn’t tell me that you two were just friends right now. The way Tali explained things, I thought you’d be ready to marry the guy.”

“No, no not at all. We’re just friends.”

“Okay. I guess that’s good. I didn’t want to have to talk you out of teenage marriage anyway.”

I nod a little, thinking that it’s easier if she believes this. “Okay. Glad we’re on the same page. I better go call Vivianne.”

Before I leave she says, “Oh, Wren, I think it’s best if your grandma doesn’t know. Can we keep this between us, you think?”

“Yeah. That would be best. You can’t tell anyone.”

At dinner, mom is more talkative than normal. She chats with grandma about her book and some new ideas she’s been having. I contribute every now and then but replace myself distracted with thoughts of Adam’s mother. It’s hard to not want to please her; I’m weak in that way. A part of me wants nothing more than to hear her approval of me—something I’m sure I’ll never get as long as I fail to produce the baby of her liking. It’s a primitive idea that—no matter how ridiculous—won’t leave me alone, and Adam and I have surely hit a roadblock because of it.

The thought of us doing such things has always been in the back of my mind; sometimes the front of my mind too, but I never expected to talk openly about it so soon. I know that Adam wanted to avoid it; that was clear when he got up and left. Maybe I should have as well before begging to know what his mother was on about. Maybe everything would have been better off if I was still in the dark. He was right, it is irrelevant at the moment, but I know that one day my human body will hurt me more than I will ever know. The bond makes me want to give him the world. What will I do when I can’t?

The next day I get ready for school with anxiety clinging to my chest. My mom offers to drive me, so I get in the car with her after saying bye to grandma.

“You’re breathing heavy,” my mom says as she backs out of the driveway.

“Sorry.”

She glances over. “Everything okay? Is it something to do with them?”

“It’s just that everyone knows now. I don’t want any attention because of it. I don’t want people to ask me about it, or question the fact that I’m not one of them.”

“Can’t you lay low?” She shrugs. “Throw on a hat and a pair of sunglasses. That’s what celebrities do, right? That’s what I used to do when Tali and I would go out on a school night. God, we would say out all night and show up at school the next day a total mess. We would, well, there were some kids from the academy that we would meet,” she says, her voice dying out.

“You would meet John?” I ask.

She promptly looks to me. “What? Who told you that?”

“Grandma showed me a picture of your old boyfriend.”

She nervously laughs a little. “I mean, John was my boyfriend, yeah. For a year or two. Um. He didn’t go to the academy, though. We went to school together.”

“Oh. Grandma told me he went to the Academy, but he was in the high school yearbook.”

“I was a dumb kid. There were a few guys. Grandma probably got them mixed up, but if she brings up anything like that again, do me a favor and plug your ears. I don’t need you taking after me. Maybe that’s a good thing about Adam; you’ll stick to one guy.”

I press my lips together and face forward. “Good to know, mom.”

I unbuckle myself and grab my bag when we pull up to the Academy. Just as I reach for the handle, she says “If you need me to come get you, just call, okay? I don’t want you to suffer if kids are bothering you.”

I smile a little. “Okay.”

Waindale is getting colder. The rain is beginning to feel like needles plunging into my skin, and I wonder when the rain will turn to snow. Grandma says it’s too early for snow, but I still peek out the window every morning, hoping to see the town covered in white. It doesn’t snow back home. The only time I got to experience it was when Mom and I would come up for Christmas every now and then. All day I would be running in and out of grandma’s house, warming up and cooling down.

The air this morning hits me hard. My hands immediately go for my jacket buttons, working quickly as I make my way to the front steps. I hear my name and look up. Vivianne is waiting there with Imogen, standing in the crisp morning like it may as well be July. I hurry to them.

“Hey, Wrenley. How are you doing?” She asks compassionately.

“I-I can’t stand out here. It’s freezing!”

Her face sparks as she mutters, “Oh, right,” and herds us through the door. The heat inside envelopes me and beckons me to shed my layers. I do so willingly.

“Okay,” Vivianne chirps. “Now, how are you doing?”

“I could be better,” I say.

“I gave Imogen the gist of what happened with Adam’s mom.”

Imogen shrugs. “I’m not surprised. She’s always been a bitch.”

Vivianne makes a face. “You can’t talk about the previous Luna like that. You don’t know who might hear.”

I look around the main hall and gaze over the many students. “What do you mean? Who might be here?”

“Ben or Alexander or even just a tattletale.”

“Who are they?” I ask.

“Ben is going to be our Beta,” Vivianne explains, “and Alexander, our third. They’re ranked positions after the Alpha.”

“And they go here?”

She shakes her head. “But you never know. They could just be around like Adam is sometimes. We have to be careful with what we say and who hears it, especially after I royally messed things up.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Imogen says. “The odds that they’re around, and that they overhear us is—”

Vivianne looks off and unknowingly smirks. Her eyes return to us. “What was that, Imogen? What were you saying? Because look who’s here.”

The two of us turn. I follow the girls’ gazes to a charming guy who’s casually walking down the hall. A few people smile and greet him as he makes his way through. “That’s Ben,” Vivianne says. Suddenly my mind jumps back to the first time I met Adam in one of these classrooms. He was there. Ben was with him, watching me, ready to do whatever asked of him. I spin back to Vivianne, but before I can speak, she breathes, “He’s coming over. Act normal. Pretend like we’re talking—oh, I know, I was there when it hit her in the face—oh, hey, Ben.”

I look over my shoulder and step to the side as he joins us. My insides feel like they’re turning to stone.

“Vivianne, Imogen,” he greets then faces me. “Wrenley, I wanted to properly introduce myself. I’m Ben, Adam’s Beta.”

“Yeah, uh, hi. It’s nice to see you again.”

Vivianne notices my discomfort. “So, Ben, any day now, huh?”

“Tomorrow, actually. Adam wanted the ceremony to happen as soon as possible; it was moved up. I thought Wrenley would have told you already,” he says and looks at me. “Won’t you be there, Wrenley?”

“I don’t think so,” I say. “I—we never really talked about me going so...”

“It’s nothing big,” he continues. “Adam didn’t want it to be drawn out. He actually told me that he just wants to get it over with.”

“Sounds like Adam,” Vivianne says.

“Well, I better get going, in a bit of a rush, but I hope to see you tomorrow, Wrenley.”

I smile again and watch as he heads through the main doors. “Do you think he wants me there?” I ask the girls.

“Adam?”

“No, Ben. I mean, everyone. His friends. I know his family probably wouldn’t want me to be at the ceremony, but Ben expected me to be there, right?”

“You’re his mate,” Imogen says. “It wouldn’t be out-of-the-blue. Maybe people aren’t sure about your situation. You and Adam aren’t exactly letting people know what’s going on.”

“She’s right. Now that everyone knows Adam has a human mate, they’re all likely guessing what’s going to happen,” Vivianne contemplates. “Usually the pack knows immediately that their Luna is here. Usually she’s not kept in the dark. You’ve done the opposite.”

“It’s not like I did it. I’ve been trying to play along with all of this.”

“But you get where we’re coming from?”

I take a breath. “Yeah, I get it.”

“You’ll see Adam later anyway. Just talk to him about it. I’m sure if you tell him that you want to be there, he’ll make sure you’re there.”

Do I want to be there? If Adam wants me there, then I’d be ready to go in a heartbeat, but from our past conversations, it doesn’t seem that way. He’ll bring up the ceremony, but he speaks of it like it’s one last hurdle to jump over before I’m welcomed into the light.

My school day is consumed by stares and whispers. In class, it doesn’t take long to notice the other students as they subtly gossip and point me out. That’s her. That’s Adam’s mate. She’s human. A human Luna? No way. He’ll reject her for sure. I can’t help but imagine all of the things they’re saying. I even catch one or two of my teachers looking for a little too long. My lycanthropy class is the worst. I walk in as the bell rings and everyone’s eyes are on me like a pack of dogs to a helpless cat. Once in my seat, I sink down as they continue to discuss my very existence. A hat and a pair of sunglasses sound quite nice right about now.

Adam didn’t say that he was going to come to me today, but I expect him to show up any time between my last class and my last thought before I fall asleep. I prefer it when he sees me at night, though. No one is there to interrupt us, and I’ve had all day to chose the perfect things to say. And his presence before bed helps me sleep; my dreams are filled with him. In my dreams, I can say and do whatever I want, no consequences, no anxiety holding me back.

When I sleep, it’s just us. We’re nowhere with no one. There are no mothers or expectations or fears. We are free to live how we are supposed to live. I am not human and he is not one of them. We are two souls intertwined forever and always, inseparable even in the tired conjurings of my own mind.