What Are The Odds?: A college hockey romance. (Phil-U Book 1)
What Are The Odds?: Chapter 60

Levi.

Winning tonight. Big check. Nailing an overtime goal. Big check. Being able to see Grace in the front row with my jersey on. Big fucking check. Cloud-nine wasn’t high enough. I was walking on water. I skated off the ice with a grin fixated on my face. The morale in the changerooms was high. Music was pumping. Some guys were even dancing. That win deserved to be celebrated.

“Lastlings?” Ryan suggested.

“Lastlings,” I agreed.

Morrison reached for his phone. “I’ll give them a head’s up.”

Coach came in for the post-game debrief. No matter the result, there was always feedback. Some constructive. Some brutal. Tonight, he kept it short. Even he was buzzed. I’d take it. I sat in front of my locker to take off my skates. Will had the locker beside me. It’d always been that way. Sitting beside someone new next year was going to be strange.

“I think we need Hughesy there every game,” he said.

I wouldn’t say no to that. Last night she’d gone over the rules while we ate dinner, quizzing me and the guys. She wasn’t a veteran yet, but she was learning. While she had a long way to go, I adored that she was trying. I stripped as much as I could then grabbed my things for a shower. Knowing she was waiting for me made me want to hurry up. After rinsing off, I redressed in my suit, pulled on my hockey jacket, then messed up my wet hair before sliding my Phil-U beanie on. This time when I walked out with Will, I didn’t have to worry about replaceing Grace with Ryker. Tonight, she was here for me. And with me. Even in the busy concourse, I found her immediately. She was leaning against the wall, one ankle crossed over the other as she scrolled through her phone. The opposing team were filing out their changeroom, their shoulders heavy as they tracked straight to their bus. I didn’t miss the doubletake from some of the players when they caught sight of Grace. The opposing captain slowed and blatantly checked her out. Completely oblivious, Grace adjusted her stance. Now her back was visible, his head sagged. That’s right. My girl in my fucking jersey. Keep moving, asshole. As if sensing my presence, Grace looked up. A smile overtook her entire face.

Will picked up on the hint without me needing to say anything. “I’ll meet you outside.”

Smart move. When I reached Grace, I hugged her so tightly her feet came off the ground. The kiss I followed up with probably bordered on slightly inappropriate for a public setting, but I was riding this high.

“You were amazing,” she told me when I set her back on her feet. “And fast. And rough.” She coyly bit her lip. “I liked it.”

“Keep wearing my jersey, Hughesy, and I can show you fast and rough later.”

She blinked her thick eyelashes. “Deal. Well, maybe not too fast.”

Fuck. Now I didn’t even want to go to Lastlings. Two hands clamped over my shoulders. I expected it to be a teammate or someone congratulating me on my game. I was half right. It was Tripp, but he wasn’t here for me. He moved me aside, making his way to Grace.

“See my goal, Hughesy?”

“I did.”

The one I’d completely set up for him. Jackass.

“Best goal of the night, right?”

Grace bit her lip, eyes casting to me. “Well.”

Ava and Stella stepped out of the bathroom and began making their way over. They were wearing our colours too, though they were much dressier than Grace. My jersey practically wore her. She’d tucked it into her jeans, but it was still baggy enough to hide the amazing body beneath. I liked knowing I was the only one who’d get to see it tonight.

*

Lastlings was busy, but Morrison had come through. There were three tables saved for us. We filled them up quickly. I sat on a barstool then pulled Grace onto my lap. I planned on keeping her close tonight. I thought back to the first time I’d seen her in this bar, when we’d been strangers to each other. If only I’d known then how much things would change. Remembering I’d left with Veronica, when Grace was just one table over, made me feel nauseous. Never again. Grace turned over her shoulder, leaning back to kiss me. I slipped my hands around her stomach before trailing them along her thighs. Foreplay had well and truly started. I was definitely ticking the hockey jumper fantasy off my list later. Ryan bought the first round, setting the drinks on the table. Before I knew it, it was Will’s round. Then Tripp’s. Then mine. Then I blinked and we were back to me, and I was definitely ticking along. Grace was too. Everyone was. We were celebrating hard. And better yet, there wasn’t anyone from the football team in sight. This night was close to perfect.

“Where do you stand now on the AFL versus hockey debate?” Ryan asked Grace.

Grace shifted in my lap. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”

Tripp was evidently offended. “Were you not in the same arena as us tonight, Hughesy? It was fucking electric.”

It really was. I’d felt the crowd there with us. Every gasp. Every cheer.

‘It doesn’t have to be a competition,” Grace rebutted.

“Everything’s a competition, Hughesy. It’s a fact of life. One thing is always better than another.”

“Just like I’m a better player than you,” Ryan teased.

“Ouch,” Will snickered, picking up his beer.

“In your dreams,” Tripp snapped back.

“Have you seen my stats?” Ryan argued.

“Stats don’t always tell the whole story,” Tripp countered. “Care to weigh in, Cap?”

Laughing, I shook my head. “Don’t drag me into this.”

“Fine. Will?”

Will coughed. “You play different positions. Too hard to compare.”

“Cop out,” I mumbled.

“So what is it, Hughesy?” Ryan asked, coming back full circle. “Would you rather watch an AFL game or watch Levi play?”

Now this I wanted to know the answer to. Grace opened her mouth then closed it again. She was hesitating much too long for my liking.

Stella came to Grace’s defence. “That’s not fair. That’s like asking her to choose between here and home.”

“Well, that’s easy,” Ryan said. “This is the best country in the world.”

Ava snickered. “What an American thing to say.”

Tripp crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s better about Australia?”

Ava shook her head. “We’re so not opening that can of worms.”

Ryan smirked. “Because you know it’s a lost argument?”

“No, because there isn’t an argument.”

I ran my fingers up and down Grace’s leg, eliciting a shiver. She relaxed against me, an amused smile playing at her lips while Ryan, Tripp and Ava debated.

“You chose to come here,’ Tripp pointed out.

“Yeah. As an exchange,” Ava agreed. “To see a different part of the world. But the plan has always been to go home. You know, where the sun shines, and we don’t have to tip, and we drive on the proper side of the road.”

Tripp gasped. “Hughesy, are you telling me you’re planning to abandon us after graduation?”

Grace’s entire body went rigid. Or maybe it was mine. I anxiously looked at Will, begging him to get us out of this conversation. He set down his beer.

“You’ve got to graduate first, Tripp.”

That drew a laugh from everyone. Except Grace. She slipped off my lap, her feet hitting the floor.

“I’ll be right back.”

I watched her walk off, staring at my name and number on her back. The conversation continued, our friends completely oblivious to the sore spot they’d just touched on. This was only going to happen more and more. The closer we got to graduation, the more people would ask what happened next. Heck, I wanted to know myself. I stood, following Grace where she’d just headed outside. That question must’ve knocked her if she was willing to be out here. It was cold, even by my standard. She was standing at the edge of the parking lot, back straight as she stared at nothing.

“Grace.”

She whipped around before rushing out the words, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I watched her for a moment. Her chest heaved up and down, and her face was etched with sadness. It tugged at my heart.

I sighed. “We have to eventually.”

“Eventually,” she agreed. “But I don’t want to think about it right now.”

I paced towards her, my breath forming in front of me. I knew her ammo was to get drunk so we didn’t have to talk about it. But maybe mine was to get drunk so I had the courage to say what I wanted. Was I super buzzed? Not really. Did I have enough alcohol in my system for some liquid courage though? Sure did. And this was long overdue.

“I love you,” I said.

There it was. In the open. And my chest felt fucking lighter now it was out there. Grace’s eyes widened and her lips parted. She stumbled back slightly.

“I love you,” I repeated. “And I want you to stay.”

She gulped. “Stay where?”

She knew, but if she needed me to say it, I would.

“Preferably Colorado after we graduate. But I’d settle for the country.”

Grace wrapped her arms around her body, trying to ward off the cold. She didn’t have anything on over my jersey and that wasn’t exactly weather appropriate.

‘I need to know what happens next, Grace. Because I swear to God if I fall any more in love with you, I am going to break when you leave.”

Grace stared at me with unblinking, nervous eyes. “Are you saying you want to break up if I decide to go home?”

“Of course not,” I quickly answered. “But come on, Grace. It was hard enough when we were in separate states before Thanksgiving. Different countries. . .”

I let the words hover.

“I know,” she said softly.

She lowered her gaze to the ground, scuffing her sneaker against the concrete.

“Can you at least tell me where your head’s at?” I asked. “You know what I want now. But I have no idea what you’re thinking. I mean, have you even thought about it?”

She was silent for a moment. Her mind was working a million miles a second. I wanted to understand every single one of her thoughts, and talk about them, then work through them. And most importantly, come up with a solution where I didn’t end up broken hearted.

‘Forty-one,” she said.

I frowned, confused. I wasn’t following.

“Forty-one games of your season will be away. I’ve looked it up.”

“Okay.”

My response came out as more of a question. I wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

“That’s forty-one times I’d be left alone in a city where the only person I know is you,” she went on. “And I’m not saying that like some co-dependent girlfriend. I’m saying it as someone who would be really bloody lonely.”

It wasn’t ideal, I knew that. But some of those stints would just be a night here and there. Granted, some were longer. But we’d still be together more often than we weren’t.

“You’ll make friends, Hughesy,” I countered. “And Lana will be back after she graduates.”

“That’s not the point. The point is I wouldn’t be with the person I’d be staying for.”

That was fair. And I had no idea what to say to that. I moved closer to Grace, running my hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm her up. She looked up at me with haunted eyes.

“I know the options, Levi. Either I stay or we break up.”

The thought alone of the latter made me feel fucking sick.

“I wish it didn’t have to be that way,” I choked. “But I can’t give up the Eagles–”

“I know,” she interjected. “And I wouldn’t want you to. Please don’t think for a second that I’m not happy your future is mapped out here.” She smiled sadly. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be rooting for you.”

Now I knew why she’d been avoiding this conversation. It was fucking painful. Grace held all the power. All the pressure was on her. She decided whether to stay and give us a chance, or she decided if she went home and we became a piece of each other’s history. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered what it would be like to give up hockey, to turn my back on it and follow Grace wherever she went. But even if I had the guts to take that leap, she wouldn’t let me. Which meant we were back to square one. Her choice would decide our fate.

“Can we leave it there for now?” she pleaded. “Tonight’s been amazing. I don’t want to ruin it.”

While we hadn’t made any decisions, she knew what I wanted. And I knew she was, at the very least, thinking things through. It was a start. She draped her arms around my neck, pulling me lower to kiss me. Her lips were cold, so was the hand that she moved to my face and ran along my jaw. I ignored the sting and made the most of this. In no lifetime would I be ready to give up kissing her. The idea of a last kiss was sickening.

“Did you hear the ‘L’ bomb I dropped, Hughesy?”

Grace smiled shyly. “I heard multiple.”

She went to say more, so I quickly kissed her again, silencing her thoughts. I didn’t expect her to say it back, I just wanted her to have all the cards. To fully understand how I felt about us. And about our future. I lifted both her hands to my lips then blew on them. They were freezing. Though we couldn’t go back inside just yet. One last thing.

“I know we don’t have all the answers right now, but I need you to promise me that we’ll figure this out.”

Grace’s voice was barely beyond a whisper. “I’ll try.”

It wasn’t a promise, but I’d take it.