White Wolf Hybrid
Chapter 18~ A letter from beyond

Alexis’ POV~

Blake is right…what if mom got too sick to really talk to me before she thought I was old enough to handle it? Running into our room, I yanked the trunk of my mom’s things out of the closet.

Opening it, a strong scent hit my nose..and it smells like home! My mom’s favorite shawl sits on top…taking it out, I wrap it around me.. Rifling through her things makes my throat thicken with tears, and I don’t even know what I am trying to replace!

It’s full of keepsakes… things that mattered..meant something important to her. A photo album, chronicling our life together.. birthdays, holidays..all my awful school pictures.. I will never understand why..every time that school photographer said smile.. the most grotesque grimace would appear on my face! Worst pictures ever..and she saved every one! True what they say..a face only a mother could love!

Nothing spoke to me…reached out to me. I kept going through it. At the very bottom, a small box rested. It was leather and my mother’s name embossed in the cover. As I reached to lift it out, her name… Olivia… illuminated and I heard her voice whisper, it’s for you!

My hands shook as I lifted the lid off the box… inside, was a journal.. She had written in it…every day since my birth. All the way up until the morning of the day I came home from school.. replaceing her in her closet…wearing socks on her hands, calling them her dress gloves. The day my mother went away…

I brought the journal to the sofa with me, I began reading. The entries were normal.. a mother’s pride in her child..her joy in the little things she found special…then, an entry caught my attention ‘today, Alexis turns six. She ran into the kitchen, just as I sat her favorite peanut butter chip pancakes on the table..and my breath caught in my throat. Her hair had changed overnight. From the blonde, like mine, it has always been…to a deep shade of plum.. almost the rich purple of royalty. But more than that… her dark blue eyes have changed to violet. A sparkling beautiful reminder of my handsome mate! The eyes that haunt my dreams’ So…my hair and eyes weren’t always this strange color. And, now I know the color of my father’s eyes.

Reading further… it was more of the same.. my martial arts competitions for each belt.. my gymnastics trophies..how proud she was that I had the opportunity to live the life of a normal. Everything a mother would say about their child. And..had I ever doubted she loved me..this would prove it, beyond a shadow!

Reaching the last entries, it was obvious her mind was slipping away.. the last three entries talked about only me..and to me..

“My beautiful, darling daughter,

If you are reading this, I am no longer with you. Oh how I wish we had had more time..but such was not to be. It is a sacrifice I had to make..to have even had you as long as I have. Please do not hate me. Do not resent the choices I have made. It has always been to protect you. To keep you safe. There are people that would see you dead.. to prevent the prophecy from playing out. It has happened before..and Selene and Hecate instructed me on what I had to do.

What I did…is right! In my mind! In my heart, not so much! I love your father. With all my heart and soul. He was mated. Not in his heart..but mated, nonetheless. He has a child. A son…seven months older than you. We knew it was wrong. I knew it was wrong! But, to know him..feel him. Love him, for even a moment! Was a feeling I selfishly clung too. I gave myself to him…the mate bond is a soul-encompassing feeling, and we refused to fight it. For three glorious nights, I spent in his arms… he became my sole existence! My reason! And, in the small hours of the morning of that fourth day, I watched him sneak away. No goodbye.. no sweet parting apology… just creeping out my door, like a thief, in the night. And he was gone…taking my soul with him.

But! And this is a very big But! He left me his heart! And your beautiful self appeared… nine months later and I was whole again! He doesn’t know about you.. I haven’t been allowed to tell him! In order to keep you safe…to protect you.. I can’t tell you, until your 18th birthday.

Now, though, my mind is fading.. I replace myself struggling to tie my shoes some days. Because Hecate sealed my lips..preventing me from uttering his name until then, I am hoping I can write it down. Thus far, I haven’t been able to.. but I will try.. every day.. until I am incapable of remembering. Alexis. Do not resent me…us… for keeping such an important thing from you. Your father would have loved you. Cherished you. When you see him… when you finally meet.. please ask him to forgive me..for keeping you from him…from allowing you to grow up with the love of a good man! A good father! Tell him I forgive him! I know he would have chosen differently… if he had been able to. His life had been planned for him…long before he was born and there was no other choice. But, Goddess! He will love you! He will be as proud of you as I am!

I worry about your brother, though. He is being raised in the old traditions…like your father was… However, it seems while those traditions made your father a man of integrity and loyalty… his son has allowed them to shape into someone of low morals..self-entitlement and corrupt emotion… He is young, though. And hopefully, things will turn around for him.”

That was it…it ended there. Nothing more. I frantically searched the entire trunk again. But nothing! There is nothing else to indicate who he is. Where he is! I can’t.. I can’t think! All this time..all these years of convincing myself I was okay not knowing who he is.. not caring if he wanted me.. It was all for nothing! All the lies I told myself are crushing me and all I can think now is I need Blake! I need his strength! And I run!