Wild at Heart
Chapter 18

I didn’t know where I was going, but I was letting my wolf take me where she pleased. My paws hit the grass forcefully with every step. The wind tickled my skin under my long fur and I almost forgot how good it felt to run in the sun. I usually didn’t let my wolf out during the day, but if I didn’t run, I was going to rip open Chase’s throat and leave him to bleed out in the middle of my bar. How was I going to explain to my dad that I stained the expensive hardwood floors with the blood of some douchebag who thinks he’s dating one of my friends? Somehow, I think he would replace it in his heart to forgive me. But Natalie? It would take a little more persuading to get her to forgive me for killing her boyfriend. And then Nick would have to deal with Reginald and the alliance we just finished making would have been for nothing. Dammit. I guess I’ll have to let my imagination kill him over and over again so that my wolf didn’t do it for real.

I skidded to a stop and took in my surroundings. My wolf took me to the burial ground. To my left was Derek’s grave. The grass was a light green, freshly grown in after being disrupted for the burial. On the other side of the field was my mother’s grave with the other 21 wolves who died with her. I rested my forehead on the stone in front of me, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. How could I trust someone with every inch of my life and know nothing about them? How did I let myself get so lost in him that I didn’t see the betrayal right in front of me? How will I ever trust again? It seems as though I can replace a reason to distrust my closest friends out of thin air after what happened with Derek. As much as it pains me, I don’t regret killing him. My life would be constant fear of watching over Nick just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for Derek to finally get the upper hand and end my mate’s life. I couldn’t live with myself knowing Nick’s demise would ultimately be my fault. I did what I had to do to protect him, myself, and the pack.

I shifted from my wolf and slowly stood on wobbly legs. My hand rested on his stone and I kept my eyes closed as I listened to the wind rustle the leaves in the woods. I felt the presence of another close by and opened my senses to learn the identity of my intruder. I caught her scent and whipped my head around to see Octavia lurking in the woods across from me.

“Are you following me again, Octavia?” I called out to her. She must have been in her wolf form a short while ago because when she stepped out of the woods she was just as naked as I was.

“I didn’t want to interrupt your prayers.”

“I wasn’t praying.” I turned back to the stone and stared at Derek’s name.

“Your pack is very different from mine.” I turned and locked eyes with her.

“How so?”

“You grieve your dead like you’ll never see them again.”

“You don’t grieve what you’ve lost?” My question brought pain to her eyes.

“Of course.” She said. “I’ve lost a lot in my life, to which I know you can relate.” We both put our eyes back to Derek’s grave. “I’ll be leaving soon, I just wanted to see where his body was resting before I left.”

“I’ll give you some privacy.” I said as I turned to leave Octavia alone. Her soft fingers wrapped around my arm and our eyes met once again.

“You don’t have to go.” She whispered. “Our start was rocky, but I feel very connected to you.” I didn’t question her statement, I only nodded and stood with her in silence for as long as she needed. She let a few tears fall from her eyes and I held her hand to comfort her in the only way I knew how.

“I’d like to speak with you,” she broke the silence. “When you come to my pack.”

“What’s there to say that can’t be said now?” I asked.

“I guess you’ll know when you get to my territory.” She smiled in a playful way I haven’t seen from her before. She leaned in and pressed her lips on my cheek before turning and jogging off back into the woods. I brushed my fingers over my skin where her lips had been. I could feel it heating up and blushing. I took a deep breath to calm my thoughts before I walked over to my mother’s grave. I bent down and ran my fingertips over her name. Oh, Moon Goddess, how I missed her. The sweet smell of honey filled my nose when I would wrap my arms around her before she disappeared into that awful office building. I cursed the wolf responsible for the death who lay just feet away from me.

I stood by her grave for a long time before the smell of the forest filled my nose. My wolf perked up, knowing it was my mate’s scent. I turned my head to see him walking towards me as he unbuttoned his shirt. By the time he got to me he was taking it off and sliding it over my shoulders. I almost forgot that I was still naked from my shift.

“I’ve been looking for you, little wolf.” He whispered before he planted a gentle kiss on my lips.

“I didn’t mean to stay here so long.” I admitted.

“Take as long as you need.” He wrapped his arm around my waist, and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

“I have.” I said while staring at her stone. “Do you visit your parents?” I asked him as I looked up at him, leaving my head still resting on his shoulder.

“No, I don’t.” He said with a frown.

“Why not?” I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking anyone but Nick these types of questions.

“By the time my father’s body was found, he was burned to nothing but bones. Jackson had them cremate what was left and now his urn sits in a mausoleum with my mother’s remains.” He broke his stare from my mother’s grave and finally met my gaze. “I was very young when my mother died and as much as I hate to admit it, I replace it hard to connect with what lies in the mausoleum.” I slid my hand over his bare chest so that I could feel his heart beating. He instantly placed his hand over mine. We smiled at each other, knowing that the feelings we have for our parents that passed inside our hearts outweighed any feeling we could ever get by visiting their remains.

“I love you, Nick.”

“And I love you, Emma Clark.”