Awakening (2 book series)
Awakening – Rejected Mate Chapter 31

"It's like that huh?" He sighs, adjusting his position so he is propped up on his arm, hand fisted against the edge of his jaw and gives me a little breathing space. Moving back a few inches, but still pressed against the side of my full length, and still touching my face. "Two summers ago, before Carmen and I started dating. You were wearing a green dress, serving candy floss at the meadow festival. You served me, wouldn't look me in the eye and when you passed me my change, you dropped it on the ledge rather than hand it to me. You had a yellow flower in your hair." His voice is soft and husky, and I try hard to lock on his gaze as my memory dashes backwards, trying to pinpoint what he's remembering. It's vague, but I remember the festival and the way his whole pack spent the entire day lording over the rest of us and causing mayhem. It was a nothing day and nothing sticks out as memorable about it.

"You have my memories, so how do I know you're not just tapping into one of mine" I blurt out, a little stubborn indignation in the mix because I know he's trying to get me to be a little less mad at him. It wouldn't be hard for him to now look backwards and see me when he has all of mine in there to choose from. Colton smiles, shaking his head softly with a frown, lifts his fingers to my temple and gently presses, projecting his memory to me, among the many we share.

An instant mental visual of that sunny day and there I am, standing at that cart, making floss, and looking like maybe the day wasn't as bad as I remembered. I have a strappy dress in a nice shade of mint green that brings out a golden color in my hair. My tousled waves blowing free in the wind and for a second, I look almost carefree. Maybe even pretty. I can see me, so these aren't my memories, they're his.

I watch myself at a distance, turn and spot the group of Santos heading my way, looking towards this person, of the head I'm inside and instantly put my nose down and go into full submission. You can almost taste the change in my disposition as I realize they're coming to my stall and I'm not happy about it. I pull his fingers away sharply, cutting the visual and seeing enough, not wanting to watch anymore of how feeble and unworthy I always was in the presence of them.

"Doesn't prove anything." I shrug and turn my face from him. Not wanting to revisit any memories of those men making me feel like trash anytime they had to talk to me.

"The memory's from my eyes, not yours. It proves plenty. Do you want another?" The cocky hint, and I can almost feel the smirk as his hand comes back to rest on the flat of my stomach, a little too comfortable for my own liking. It annoys me how easily he replaces this slide into touchy feely when he's the one who chose to sever our ties. He has a woman somewhere in this house, pining for him, and yet here he is again, touching me like I'm still his property. For once I actually feel like Carmen deserves better, that he maybe lost his affection for her, but she didn't for him, and he should still care about her feelings. This would hurt her if she saw us like this.

"Okay, so you remember me. Whatever. It doesn't mean much, except we interacted before. A few times actually. Of course, in the memory banks I'll be there. That wasn't the point of what I was saying. All that memory shows are you saw me and managed to remember it, not that it served any importance to you." I roll away pushing his hand off me fully, hinting to give me space, and return to my previous position. Bristling internally with the war going off inside my head and returning to irritation. Hating the fact that all the usual little tells are starting to go off inside me at his proximity and my body is beginning to yearn him again.

"You don't remember me, do you?" Colton pushes me in the back of my shoulder lightly, almost teasingly and I shirk him off. Not impressed with him trying to turn this around and roll my eyes. He's being a little too flippant for a guy who spent tonight ripping apart vampires.

His focus should be on our impending doom and our life from here on in, and not whatever this is. Reminiscing the 'good old days' and adding weight to why he will never rebuild trust with his chosen 'mate'. He's not exactly acting like he cares about doing it from what I've seen.

"Don't be stupid. How could I not remember the Alpha son of Lord Santo. I've known who you were since birth." I answer with dripping sarcasm. He's starting to grate on me now. I mean we share every single memory each harbor, so it's pretty dumb telling me I wouldn't know something that he does. Or that I didn't remember him all these years. How could I forget the guy who walked around for ten of them, like our lord, and king? How could I not know the son of the man who ordered my kind into exile. I don't get a chance to hit him with any kind of comeback, his hand comes at me from behind and he feels out my temple once more, projecting from the many hours of mental movies, a single one that shoots to the forefront in the blink of an eye and renders me mute. I inhale sharply as the visual of my mother comes to view, winding me instantly and pushing me to complete still submission.

My beautiful angelic mother, holding my hand as we walk around the edge of the lake, near the cavern and I'm young, really young. The place near where he asked me to meet him that day in the forest. She's laughing, fixing the bow in the back of my hair that's keeping it all off my face and yet, I'm seeing it from the eyes of someone in the water. I'm a kid, maybe seven, maybe eight, but I recognize myself. I recognize her too, my breathtaking mom and that dazzling smile, those blue eyes that are missing from my life, and it tears at my soul. The pain cutting into me and slicing away some of my armor.

She walks me to the edge and lets me go, so I can play, go to swim. I run forward and splash into the water, no sign of hesitation. A brave little girl who thought she was capable of anything when sheltered in the shadow of her family. I clumsily gallop, splash in cannonball style and dive under as soon as I get waist deep, her calling encouragement from the edge as she watches me. I can't pull my mental sight from her face, her laugh, the way her voice echoes in the air around us and surrounds me with a unique warmth, like she's hugging me now.

If I'm Colton in this memory then he watches me for a minute too, dragging my eyes back to me and she fades off out of scene. I have no control of where he looks, because this is his memory. He follows my progress as I swim across the lake and then he's pulled sideways, and I'm suddenly seeing water. Submerged in bubbles and blurry sight, hands in front, waving as I swim back to the surface, coughing and spluttering as another boy blocks my view. I recognize him as one of his closest Santo pack. A boy called Matteo, who's usually in Colton's shadow wherever he goes. He was in the study earlier today.

"Do you like her or something? Why you always staring at her, Cole? Is she why you made me come here? I feel like she's wherever we go nowadays." He teases, pushing me back and all I hear in response is...

"Shut up. She has a name. Get out of my face and stop being dumb." It's Colton's voice. Undeniable, even at such a young age, that smooth undertone of immature depth that grew into how he sounds now. The completely defensive edge, and embarrassment, hints that his friend is right, and I know from learning so much about him lately that when he gets caught out, he gets bristly and hostile. It starts to dawn on me what he's showing me as he lets go and breaks the projection.

I turn on him at speed, eyes wide and gawping, not really sure I just interpreted that the right way, but what other way could I.