Chasing My Rejected Luna
Chapter 65

TEGAN'S P.O.V

I wasn't thrilled about spending that kind of alone time with Ezra, but I knew that one day I had to return. Not out of respect for Darion or my father, but because I needed this for myself. I needed this so that I could finally let go of the girl I used to be. I had been going to therapy since the Liam incident. After that night so much trauma resurfaced. Trauma I couldn't handle on my own, so in order to be the best mom I could be, I decided it was best if I reached out for confidential help. One of the objectives that I was given in order to blossom as a person was to let go of the past so that I could build a better future. As much as I hate to return to that awful place, it was my opportunity to confront them all for how they treated me. It was also supposed to help me let it go so I could move on. Let's just hope my therapist was right, hopefully this wasn't a huge mistake.

A punch to my gut brought me instantly out of my thoughts.

"Where is your head today? Get it out of the clouds Tegan. You can't be in Lalaland when you're being attacked." Tanner said.

I was still bent over trying to catch my breath from the sudden impact.

"I know. I just have a lot going on." I said taking a seat on the ground.

"Want a listening ear?"

"That's what therapy is for, remember? You're the one that suggested it to begin with."

Only a handful of people knew I was seeing a therapist, Ezra was not one of them. I didn't need him Alpha commanding my therapist to tell him what was going on or what I was thinking.

"I did. But that doesn't mean you can't have a friend for moral support." He spoke.

"I just don't know if going tomorrow is a good thing." I responded honestly.

"Isn't it part of your homework?"

"Homework?" I asked with a laugh.

"That's basically what she gave you, homework. How else would you describe it?" Tanner asked seriously.

"I

I guess you can consider it that. But that's not what has me on edge."

"Then what is it?" He asked.

"I am leaving for four days. Where it is just going to be Ezra and I alone."

"Elias will be there too." He stated sarcastically.

"Okay smart ass, he is a newborn. That isn't going to stop the tension or the confusion. And being away in a familiar place that brought me only trauma will have me leaning on Ezra for the stability I know I'll need. I don't want to be vulnerable and him use that to get closer to me."

"I hear your concerns but come on T, he is your mate." He said as he took a seat next to me on the grass.

"A mate that chose to cast me away like I was trash." I stated reminding him what Ezra did.

"He had no other choice."

"He did and he chose to side with those Elders."

"You're not giving him enough credit for all he has done since then." Tanner said making me think about all the countless attempts Ezra has done since returning.

Even before I had returned, he was trying to change the Kingdom ways that have been set in place for centuries.

"Still doesn't change how I feel and how he didn't take into consideration how I felt. I am his mate, not just some contracted mate, but his fated mate and he cast me aside like he did Lydia when I arrived."

"You can't hold not feeling the mate bond against him. The curse was strong Tegan."

"But he felt something." I stated trying to defend my hardheaded ways.

"But not like you did. He had a blockage from it. But even before it hit him, he was still fighting to keep you."

"Not hard enough." I said as tears started surfacing. I placed my head on his shoulder for comfort.

"So, you're telling me that you're more scared of letting your guard down with your own mate than to face your tormentors head on?" He asked with a low chuckle.

"You haven't met you mate; you don't understand its pull."

"Low blow T, even for you." He said as he removed his hand from where he was rubbing circles on my back.

"I'm sorry." I said looking over at him.

"Come on, let's train, get your mind off of the what if's." Tanner said as he stood.

"You just want to hit me for being a bitch." I said as I also stood from the ground.

"Maybe a little." He said with a giggle as he got into his stance ready to attack.

We trained for a while longer. Today was combat only, no gifts, no shifts. When I return, we will start focusing on shifting in the middle of combat so I can get faster at transforming into Gemma when needed. Then we would begin to focus on intertwining my gifts into my fighting. Tanner thinks if we master one thing at a time then when it comes time to using it all, I would be a force to reckon with.

After a little more one-on-one combat we decided to call it a day.

When I was walking inside a door nearby slammed shut, the walls shaking with the force of the close. Someone was pissed off and I was not in the mood to be caught in the crossfire.

I quickly climbed the stairs getting to my room in record time. I had been paying Imagen to be Elias's nanny. She was once my handmaiden, so I just changed her duty to be Elia's caregiver while I trained. It gave me some time away but also was able to keep her employed. Plus, I didn't trust many others with him.

Helena was working daily with her courses of sign language which kept her busy. There was Lilly, but she had her own baggage, and I wasn't prepared to trust her alone with a child. She was a good person, but she has days where she just isn't all there. Which is understandable.

Lilyanna, Ezra's mother has offered and although I trust her judgement, I just feel more comfortable if Elias was with Imagen.

'Hey there.' Imagen signed as I walked in.

"Hey. How was he?" I asked as I picked up the wide-awake Elias.

'An angel as always. I got his bags packed and ready for tomorrow.

"Perfect, thanks Imagen. I don't know what I'd do without you." I said as she headed to leave for the night.

'Lose your mind. She signed before giggling and walking out.

I looked at Elias's shinning green eyes as a smile spread across his small perfect face.

"Well buddy. Tomorrow, we head to meet family I know you'll never become." I said, rubbing circles on his chunky pink cheeks.

I wasn't sure what the following days would bring but I knew I wasn't ready.