Contract Marriage with My CEO Boss (Kylan and Katrina)
Chapter 66

Chapter 66

S POV

KYLAN'S

His feet were aching. His eyelids were uncharacteristically heavy. He needed to rest, even for a few hours.

Would Katrina be awake? Would she be sleeping? Was she still waiting up for him, even after all this time? Should he go return to the same room? Maybe he should get another room?

All of his stuff was inside the shared mom with Katrina, though. He couldn't leave it all behind. He couldn't...

But he had to go back. He had to take his chances. He had no idea what he would be capable of saying to Katrina if she was awake.

Kylan forced himself to take the elevator up to the top floor, his hands shaking, a dull ache throbbing behind his eyes. He wasn't wearing his glasses or his contacts, and that didn't help anything either.

But it would help him not have to see Katrina as clearly when he entered their room.

The elevator doors pulled open, and Kylan stepped out, his breathing unsteady and his throat dry. He stopped in front of the last door at the end of the hall, running his fingers through his hair a few times and ignoring the red half-crescent-shaped indents that littered his skin.

It took him a few tries to unlock the door, the key fumbling between his fingers and his mind unfocused. Finally, though, or all too soon really, he successfully had the door unlocked. He slowly, methodically, pushed his way inside and closed the door silently behind him. The room was shrouded in darkness, save the last of the glowing embers in the fireplace. His eyes trailed over the bed, replaceing that it was meticulously made now apart from a small, distinctly Katrina-shaped lump on the far edge.

She was so close to the side of the bed, that Kylan worried she would fall off. Should he move her! Should he wake her?

r? Say something to her?

But what could he say? What could he say when he knew how hurt she undoubtedly was? What could he say when he didn't deserve to speak to her

He stared at Katrina for far longer than he should, taking in the rising and falling of her chest, hearing the soft sounds of her breathing as they ghosted through the quiet room

She was beautiful. So beautiful it physically hurts Kylan to look at her sometimes.

And her eyes, God, he constantly got lost in her eyes. They were endless orbs of every human emotion that scared the shit out of Kylan, and he loved looking into them. He loved indulging in her humanity that he so lacked.

She was so good at it. Being human, Caring about people. She was his exact opposite and all he brought to her was pain and darkness.

Quietly, he walked to his side of the bed where Katrina had pulled both the duvet and sheets taut. He didn't dare climb under the covers. It felt wrong. Like a violation of some sort. Instead, he carefully lay on the bed as far from Katrina as possible, staring up at the ceiling for a moment, ignoring the need to take a shower. He didn't want to wake her. He couldn't wake her, not right now.

Kylan eventually turned on his side, staring at the back of Katrina's head. Her hair was perfection. The curves of her body were perfection. He couldn't believe she had allowed him to touch her, to caress her, to be inside her.

It made his heart ache, his head swirling with the most confusing concoction of feelings he had yet to experience.

He yearned to reach our and touch her. To hold her. To kiss her.

God, had he wanted to kiss her. To feel her lips on his once more.

But that was too much. An indulgence that went far beyond what he was capable of taking part in, especially with the way he felt when he did kiss

Katrina

He was glad to see her sleeping. She deserved the rest. The reprieve from a f*ck up like himself

He stayed on his side, not closing his eyes, not moving closer to her, not waking her up. Subconsciously, one hand was extended toward her, filling only a bit of the space between them.

In reality, though, it was cavernous, endless, the amount of space truly between them.

The demons and the ghouls on the top of the walls in his mind rejoiced at Kylan's suffering. The fact that he didn't know how to talk to the one person he wanted to desperately hear their voice.

They celebrated and Kylan stood by and watched, shackles bound to his wrists and ankles just like there always

ays were.

-0-0-0-

Chapter 66

Somehow amid Kylan watching Katrina sleep, he fell asleep himself. Or rather, he fell into an in-between state of being conscious and unconscious, never fully allowing himself to slip under in fear of having another nightmare. He couldn't and wouldn't put Katrina through that again right now

A quiet, murmuring voice, brought Kylan back to reality. He forced his eyes open, frowning when he realized Katrina wasn't in the bed anymore and her side had been made.

"I'll be there by Monday at the latest. Thank you, Papa. I love you too, I'll talk to you soon" Kylan realized Katrina was standing near the fireplace, her phone pressed to her ear. She hung up, pinching the bridge of her nose and taking a deep breath. She looked up and found Rylan staring at her, and his frown deepened when he saw her face.

She was guarded. Her own walls up. Her own defenses are readily in place. Kylan couldn't blame her. He couldn't fault her for it, even if it hurt his heart to see her normally expressive eyes turned so dull.

"I got an email that you changed our flight to this evening." Her voice was different, Kylan noted. Almost monotone, yet hoarse. As he took in her appearance more fully, he realized her eyes were red and puffy. Crying. She had been crying. Again. Because of Kylan.

He hated himself.

"I did." Kylan cleared his throat and sat up, running his hands through his hair once or twice.

Katrina merely stared at him for a moment, her lips pulled into a thin line and her brow furrowed. "Right. I-I'm going to take a shower. Unless.. U. unless there's anything you wanted to talk about first?"

The way she said it. The quiet way her eyes softened ever so slightly, now filled with something akin to hope...

Kylan wanted to run away. To hide. To crawl beneath the bed like a child afraid of the boogeyman, only he was the boogeyman.

wallowed, doing his best to look at her. His mind filled with memories of the night before. Of her, on the bed, opening herself to him. Giving herself to him in ways he didn't deserve but desperately longed for. "Where will you be on Monday?"

Idiot

Katrina's shoulder's deflated, her eyes shifting to the floor and her bottom lip quivering a nearly imperceptible amount.

on was

When she looked at him again, her expression was perhaps more guarded than before. "I have never taken a single day of leave in the three years I've been your assistant

Kylan's stomach clenched at her words. He knew where this was going.

"I would like to take a week to go visit my father again. By myself, this time. She stared right at him, nearly challenging him to deny her.

She was right, of course. She had never used a single day of vacation time. She had never called in sick. Kylan knew she deserved to go see her father. To get away from him. To get away from the pain he constantly caused her without meaning to. But he selfishly didn't want her to go. He didn't want to be without her for that long

"Alright. I'll get one of the interns to temp for you while you're gone. Pick whichever one you think will f*ck up the least" Kylan's voice sounded dull even to him, and he internally kicked himself, yet the shackles slithered up to his neck, making it all but impossible for him to speak his mind. To ask her to stay.

"Shane is nice and good at what he does. I'll ask him." She took a deep breath "If you'll excuse me." No longer looking at Kylan, she crossed the room to the closet and gathered up her clothing Kylan watched her go into the bathroom and close the door.

He allowed himself to groan quietly, laying back on the bed and slipping his face into his hands, shaking his head.

He was an idiot. A trapped idiot. A trapped fool. A fool that needed to let her go, if that's what she wanted.

Like another mantra, the ghouls in his mind reminded him why he didn't deserve her.