Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 203

"Andrea, eat more..." Mary was scolding me like I hadn't just crammed my face all day and was staring down at the massive plate of food! Tom beside me was eating his second plate and having his hand down like we couldn't see he was texting with Sophia, and I smiled at that. Good. I was glad he was in love and that he didn't just f**k her over just because I was by his best friend. "Yeah, no... Mary, please..." I was begging her when she sighed like she knew that too and somehow believed that her feeding me was going to fix whatever was inside of me, a big hole that was hurting no matter what my head was telling me, forget him. I had been talking to Buck and Kira, showing me Noah and Jamie being out in the backyard, splashing water, making me want to start crying again for what was a never-ending story; I missed them, and yeah, being here at the Browns helped, but not enough seeing Kira's face, telling me that she missed me, loved me. I wanted them back now, not next weekend.

"Ma, I got to go, okay?" Tom was up when he put his phone back into his pants, making me stare at him without realizing with big sad eyes. He was going to see Jonah. Wasn't he?

Mary was looking at him like she knew that too; she didn't hate Jonah, she just thought he was a stupid boy; at least she was right about that part when I made a sigh and not even pretending to eat anymore. I was stuffed anyway.

Tom looked guilty when he nodded and touched my arm like he was sorry. I know he was, and there was no way I was invited to whatever was going to happen, no matter if Jonah and I weren't on good terms... whatever had happened, I still didn't understand to be honest.

Mary was cleaning off the table when I knew I should ask her if she needed help. Pat was already back in the recliner and watching the big screen on the wall looking like he was about to fall asleep from the food. I wished I felt like that and not the turning knot in my stomach that was growing worse for every second I was awake, and now that I couldn't just lie in my bed and feel myself go slowly insane, it was worse.

"Andrea, you want to help me with this?" I looked up, unaware that she was done with the table and had brought out a puzzle when I raised my eyebrows; really? A puzzle? It was a big one too, nothing like the ones Kira had, she was great at them too, me? Not so much.

"Yeah, sure..." I was fiddling the pieces around, unlike Mary, who looked like she was taking this seriously, making me smile. She was great, and I was lucky she gave a shit about me; she didn't need to, and none of them did.

"You know.... Phillip is still unmarried.... just saying..." she looked up when I made a snort. I bet she would love that, still smiling like she could see my amusement. Phillip was great. I mean it, and he was closer to my age, and nothing like Jonah that was out doing God knows what with her son.

"Phillip is great... you have wonderful sons, Mary, all of them... I mean it...." I made a genuine smile when she looked proud, she was, and I loved that. She had three sons, Tom being her youngest one, and I was just a waste of time and space for my parents, no matter what I did.

"He told me to say hi to you, and he is out of town, always is these days...." She made another smile looking down at the puzzle again when I wasn't even trying, and she knew it. Still, it was nice just sitting here, she was trying to distract me, which was really nice, even if it was useless.

"You know what the worst part is, Mary.... I really love him." I said it, still looking down at the pieces in my hand, knowing that I was trying to shove two parts that didn't fit no matter how hard I tried, like Jonah and me.

"Oh, I know... we all know that Andrea is not that hard to miss, even Pat knows, and he is blind as a bat...." When I made another snort, Mary looked at me, knowing I wasn't speaking about Phillip. Yeah, he was and still is working; that was amazing when you thought about that.

"Great...." I was giving up on the stupid puzzle when she looked at me with sadness, making everything feel just as bad; well, there it was. The official version of me was pathetic enough to get the pity parade from anyone that saw me, even her.

She didn't say more, making me stare at her. What? No words of wisdom? No scolding of me being in love with a married guy, not giving me even an indication of what she thought about the mess I had with Jonah. Nope. Just silence.

"He said he didn't want me, didn't even kiss me when...." I stopped when her eyes snapped at me. She didn't want to hear that part when I cleared my throat and made another attempt at the puzzle, knowing that I was supposed to shut up about it, swallow my pride and just forget him, not let my stupid heart make decisions that would end up hurting me even more, and still here I was, dying on the inside wanting more.

"Oh, he wants you, even tried to divorce Shailene over you, and Fiona was not happy about that part. She likes control, my dear, and she isn't too fond of you being together with her only son." Mary looked up, looking sharp like she knew what she was talking about, making my heart hurt; every beat was like a stab when she stared me down, reminding me of a short, stubby version of Jonah.

"Because I'm not catholic?" I said it hurt, probably because I didn't fit the bill of Fiona's perfect life for Jonah. Being divorced for the second time wasn't helping, and my kids weren't good either, not even Kira, who was her granddaughter.

"Oh no, that's not it, that can be arranged, it's more she can't control him like she used to, he is quite the troublemaker you know.... but he never disobeyed her, not until he met you..." she made small smile, putting down to pieces together when I still didn't know what to think about that, me making Jonah what? Rebel against his mother? That was stupid! Jonah sure as hell didn't listen to me or anyone else. He was so f*****g stubborn it was ridiculous!

"No... no Mary... he doesn't listen to me, that's bullshit...." I stopped when she was smirking like she knew something I didn't, but that didn't surprise me; the woman was a walking book of secrets, if anything else.

"Andrea, sweetheart... he almost declared war on Austin Evans, going directly against Fiona's order to keep the peace for you." She was looking at me, smiling like I was supposed to be happy over that, but I wasn't. It had been scary as hell, and I had no doubt that if Jonah hadn't come over, I would have been raped. I didn't even want to think of the rest of what they had in store for me, probably forcing me to work as a whore or escort no matter what I felt about it.

"Fuck." I couldn't stop it when she made a smirk, putting another piece down and raising her eyebrows at my reaction. He really had done that hadn't he? I had been to f*****g daze over what was going on when I was there, but he did have a lot of guys with him, not just him and Tom. I had no doubt that he was ready to blow the whole place to kingdom come if he needed to, seeing me being held by that disgusting pig that was grabbing me.

"Yeah, that's a word for it...." She stopped moving her hands around and just watched me like she didn't know how to help me, but at least she told me what went down, and that helped a lot; being in the dark was the hardest part for me, always had been. "I know it's stupid, but... I want to talk to him..." I sighed, biting my lip, unsure of what I was going to say; to be honest, I just wanted him to hold me, love me, and leave Shailene for me, no matter how ridiculous it was to think.

"Then talk; what's stopping you?" Mary did another smirk when I nodded, she was right, yeah.... Nobody stopped me from talking to him, and if they did, I would fight back.... I didn't know how since he blocked me on snap long ago, like way back when I was still married to Buck.

"Okay, sure... sure...." I was getting up when Mary looked amused when I was ready to go now; this second! My ankle was still hurting, but I didn't care. I wanted to tell Jonah everything! That I loved him and that he was stupid for thinking that I would ever be able to let him go. He was mine!

me.

"They are at the bistro down the road, don't ask me how I know that...." Mary made a secretive smile, and I had no doubt she knew every secret there ever was. I mean, she was talking to people all day, and she was friendly, and you wanted to tell her, fuck. Just like "Thanks!" I was ready for this! I was! Jonah was going to know that I fucking loved him, and after that.... Yeah, well, that was up to him! At least I had tried, fought back like Buck would have said, not just give up and lie down and cry as I had done as long as I had known him.

"Andrea, be careful, and please, don't start some war..." Mary was snickering when I made a smirk hearing that. Oh, I was so going to start at war! Jonah would listen to me, even if he had heard the same shit a thousand times before! Did I even tell him that I still loved him to his face when he said he wasn't going to give us another chance!?

"Shit!" I was going down the stairs, still limping the slightest in my sneakers, not stopping even if it was hurting every step, I was going to Jonah, and he was going to f*****g know that I loved him!