Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 215

Christmas.

The kids were clean for once, Kira having on a red dress that had a fluffy skirt making her spin around a lot more than necessary around me when I was putting on the last touches of lipstick; it was the same one I bought the night that Austin almost got me but f**k it. It was expensive and made me look good, so I didn't care.

"Look at them, baby, so f*****g handsome; I even did their hair!" Jonah was coming up behind me, holding the hands of Jamie, that wanted to be carried, almost crying, and Noah, that was taking big, bold steps like he couldn't wait to start taking them on his own, being guided by Jonah that was smirking like he was the proudest dad in the universe, having dressed the twins, which was, in fact, a small miracle to be honest.

"Ma-ma!" I stopped applying lipstick, turned around, and saw the handsome little man with his brown hair combed to the side. He was absolutely adorable!

"Jamie, my baby boy! look at you!" I was going to scoop him up when Jonah stopped me with a frown and his arm before giving over Noah's hands to me, that was swaying around happy like he was about to start running away being bent over smiling. He was just as cute. My boys were the best! "Yeah, no. I don't think so; look at you already showing!

Let's be careful..." I made a face hearing that from Jonah's serious deep voice. He had been acting differently, not that he wasn't protective before. He was... but, yeah, he was really on edge about me being pregnant, even more than Buck ever was scared something would go wrong or just... I don't know; he was just worried all the time.

"I know I am..." I sighed, turning back into the mirror; there it was, the evidence of Jonah sure as hell not being as infertile as he wanted to believe when the slight curve was showing on my body. Oh, and I could finally eat again, somewhat, at least. "You look great, don't you agree, Kira?" Jonah was smirking when Kira stopped turning, not interested in what we were discussing. She knew about the baby. How could I keep it a secret from her when she was the curious kid around, and of course, she had told Buck the second that she had the chance, giving me more headache. yeah, that wasn't a fun talk; Buck thought I was being irresponsible, having another baby when the twins weren't a year yet, and I agreed about that, but... Well, f**k him! He wasn't my husband anymore, and I wanted this baby, just like every one of my kids!

"Yeah, you look so pretty, mommy..." she made a smile, and I smirked hearing her thicker accent from being at Bucks over thanksgiving; that was the deal, I had Christmas, and... yeah, next year would be fatting awful for me being without my kids on Christmas. "The most beautiful woman in the world..." My smirk became bigger hearing Jonah. Yeah, sure... so classy being a mother with three kids that were always around, and the only reason it was clean was Jonah. I could admit that, and even he couldn't stand against the storm that was Kira, Noah, and Jamie.

"Alright... We are late and..." I stopped when Jonah came closer, pulling me to him and kissing me, making Kira stare at us. She wasn't used to that part, yet when I smiled, kissing him back, giggling the slightest like I was a teenager, feeling Jamies hand wanting to climb over to me, and Noah trying to escape my hold.

"We get there when we do, okay? The whole freaking world can wait..." I smiled more, hearing that leaning against his neck for a few seconds, feeling like I wanted to cry, and for once, it was because I was so happy, having Jonah and my children; it was a f*****g miracle.

"I guess so..." I was leaning in closer, breathing in that scent that slowed my heart, calming me down, feeling his arm around me, supporting me when Kira was still staring at us.

I knew it, as I said. She still wasn't used to seeing me and Jonah act like this, intimate, and I could understand that she was still rooting for me to get back together with Buck, like Sophia.

"I miss daddy.." Kira was looking away when I made a sigh, feeling Jonah tense up, he was really trying, and I knew that, but Kira was stubborn. I knew exactly where she got that trait from taking out my hand against her when Jonah let me go, shifting Jamie in his arms, grinding his teeth, knowing that there was going to be a fight if he started to talk back to her, same as the last hundredth time he had done that.

"I know, baby, but I am going to marry Da and have a baby... You know that..." I didn't know what to say. She did know. Everything, in her version. That she was Jonah's daughter, but she didn't care; didn't give a s**t about that when Buck was around; it was hard. She didn't answer when Jonah slightly nodded like he wanted to leave, and I moaned. Yeah, this was still hard; I don't know what I expected to be honest? That Kira would start treating Jonah like she did with Buck because he was around more and told her off when she was doing something she wasn't supposed to do?

That only led to her, lashing out against him, and I was stuck trying to calm them both down with the twins; there was a reason Jonah would rather wrestle two small boys into formal outfits instead of just spending time with Kira, they didn't get along, not when she had discovered that he was here to stay and that her daddy wasn't coming back.

"I will get them downstairs..." Jonah took Noah, having them both in his arms, hearing their laughter, making me smile even if I was sad seeing two people that I loved more than the whole world, not wanting to give each other a chance. Kira wasn't budging. "Kira, baby.. you saw daddy just last month, and I'm sorry, but we said you would have Christmas with Da and me..." I wanted to squat down, and I did since Jonah wasn't here to scold me. I didn't care if he would get pissed off seeing me like this, thinking it was dangerous, but it wasn't

"I don't want him here, mommy, please..." She was begging me, making me hurt even more, suddenly wanting to cry from seeing her eyes. She wasn't happy when Buck wasn't around, she loved me, but he was her security. I was so f*****g embarrassed over that. I mean it. Buck wasn't her birth father, and I still believe that she loved him more than she would ever love Jonah as her father. That was just.... f*****g heartbreaking... I was sighing again, not wanting to cry. I didn't have time for it when we went to the Browns. I looked forward to having a Christmas together as a family, but Kira wasn't feeling it.

"I can't bring daddy here; he is at home..." I stopped myself, and I still said that. Home. I kept calling it home, and Kira wouldn't change her mind as long as I did. s**t... It was home; a part of me wanted back, always would, back to Buck and the safety of living in a small town. Still, that part of my life was over, and I never wanted to leave Jonah or the life we were trying so hard to build up that was worth fighting for.

"You know what, Kira? I know you miss daddy and Sophia, but this is our home, the one we have and.... s**.... Kira baby, we are never returning to the house where daddy lives, and you can stay there when you visit him, but this is our home now..." I was looking around, Kira's eyes getting blank when she would cry, making me want to do the same; yeah, this place wasn't a palace or the house she was used to. She hated this city, the same as Buck. On that part, I could almost believe she was more Bucks kid than she ever was Jonah's. "Kira, I love you..." I was wiping away my tears when she was crying, having her arms around my neck, sobbing hard.

She was the best thing in my life, and I wanted her to be happy, and I couldn't fix it, that was worse than anything else, just feeling powerless.

"..my sweet baby, I do love you so much..." I was mumbling into the long dark hair, having waved like mine or Jonahs, but she was beautiful. Nothing would make me stop loving her, no matter how much she cried or screamed or that she was the devil reincarnated on earth when she was angry. She was my baby, and that would never change.

"Me marrying Da and having a baby won't change the fact that I love you. You are the best girl in the world." I was trying to sound happy because I was thinking about her, proud and so glad to have her as my daughter, the light of my life in a world where there only had been darkness.

"You promise?" she was still sniffling when I nodded, holding her close; how could I get so lucky to have the most wonderful girl in the world? She was the perfect being, my everything.

"Yes, I promise, Kira." She did believe me and love me when I made a smile on her sweet face, all red and puffy from the tears she had, still beautiful as ever

"Okay....

"She was wiping her nose with the sleeve of the new dress, and I wasn't going to scold her for it; she was the one that didn't want to get dirty, not like the twins just rolling around in everything they could get their hands on.

"I still miss daddy..." she gave me a serious look that made her blue green sparkle to my smile. Yeah, I got that part.

She did miss Buck, and I did too, in some ways, since I had been able to let him handle her for me... s**t that sounded so bad when I thought about it, still squatted down in the hallway.

"What the f**k is taking so long??" I turned my head, seeing Jonah frown when he walked into the hallway, looking sick of waiting. I stopped when he saw Kira, that didn't want to look at him, not when she had been crying, proud like she was, at least against him. "Oh..... I was just telling Kira I love her..." I got up slowly, catching Jonah's arm, giving me a hard look like he would yell at me for doing something he thought was dangerous; being pregnant, like me just sitting down, would make something happen?? "Okay." He sounded conflicted when I smiled at Kira, who was still looking away, holding my body, not wanting to acknowledge Jonah in the room.

"Let's go then. I don't want to leave the boys..." I was going to pass Jonah when he didn't stop me, but he did show me he was still not sure what to say, he always was a f*****g coward when it came to emotions.

"Kira, you want to sit in the front seat with me?" I stopped my next step listening to that when Kira looked up at Jonah like she couldn't believe what she was hearing, showing everyone in the room just how much she wanted that.

"Well, do you?" Jonah wasn't smiling, and I felt more nervous over that; he wasn't like Buck in that sense and didn't beam at her all the time. Jonah looked at her like she was way older than just four and like he was having some deal more than talking to his child. Kira was staring right back, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing; it was almost hilarious seeing the two mind like people, Jonah, and his clone, staring like they were just waiting on the other one to break. I knew from experience that it was going to be me. "Jonah.." I didn't want another fight, and he left the twins downstairs; that made me even more nervous; how stupid was he?! I was pulling his shoulder when he didn't büdge, same as Kira when I gave up; that was going to last until the end of times when I walked towards the door, going for the stairs when I was the one that was being stopped by that big warm hand on my shoulders.

"Elevator." Jonah had to my surprise, Kira with him. She was holding his hand, not looking like she for once hated it looking at me like she wanted to get going now that they seemed to have settled whatever the hell was going on between them "Don't think that I'm *****g happy, Andrea. What the f**k were you on the floor for?!" Jonah was speaking in a low voice that made me shiver, seeing Kira staring at him like she could tell he was pissed, but she didn't react like me. No, she was more fascinated seeing his face go dark and jaw clenched.

"It's fine... I don't understand why you are making such a big deal out of this??" I was frowning back when the doors opened, and I was walking faster for once, having Jonah behind me when he didn't try to catch up, walking with Kira, that didn't say a word. Great