I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 59

LAKE

I didn’t move away from the window until the front door slammed and Tiffany came up the stairs.

I couldn’t be sure what I had seen. If Manning had kissed her earlier on the lawn, it would have seemed innocent enough, a k**s on the lips. What did that mean? There was no connection between them. I knew that, but Tiffany?

I went into our ensuite bathroom and made some noise, hoping Tiffany would invite me into her room. When she didn’t, I knocked.

“What?” Tiffany asked.

“May I come in?”

“What do you want?”

I opened the door. Tiffany was sitting on her bed, her address book open and the receiver of her transparent button phone in her hand.

“I’m trying to replace something to do tonight.”

“I thought you were dating Manning?” »

“Do I look?”

“What happened?”

At this point, the conversation could go two ways. Either she would kick me out and accuse me of being nosy or she would spill her guts. I was hoping for the guts. Did Manning ask him the kinds of questions he asked me? Music, books, fancy tableware? I couldn’t imagine them talking about these things. When I had Manning’s attention, there was no room for anyone else.

The tone started beeping. With a sigh, Tiffany hung up the phone and leaned back on the bed.

“He wanted to go out. We almost went back to his house, but he has to work early.

My face heated up. What I wouldn’t give to see where he lived, what kind of things he considered important enough to put on his shelves. What color were his sheets? What other books did he own? Did he keep pictures on his bedside table? If Tiffany went there, she would see all this before me. I went a little deeper into room.

“Are you going to see him again?”

She raised her hand and touched the corner of her Nirvana poster.

“I don’t know.”

I stood taller. I wasn’t surprised. I knew it was going to happen. I had always assumed that the other two guys Tiffany brought home broke up with her right after, but maybe it was the other way around. “Really?” I asked

.

“Don’t get me wrong. Manning is super hot and he’s nice to me. But he’s like an old man.” He works and has classes and goes to bed early and takes things slowly.

» She yawned, turning her head towards me. “I thought college guys would be different, you know? Fun and cool.

I nodded as if I understood. In reality, Manning was the coolest person I knew because he didn’t care at all about being cool.

“So you’re going to dump him?” I asked,

trying not to sound optimistic.

“No. If I don’t want to see him anymore, I won’t answer his calls anymore. She sat down and stared at her hair in the reflection of her mirrored cabinet. “Have you seen Corbin today? I was always wondering

what what it would be like if Manning called me first.

“Who?”

“Hello Corbin?

The hottest guy in your school? Did you see him at the beach?

I blinked several times. Was it only this morning?

“Um. Yeah. How do you know-

?”

“I talked to him.”

“When ?”

“On the phone.”

“He called?” I asked.

“Yeah. While I was changing. I told her to call back because we were about to have dinner.

“Did he ask me?”

“Why?” she asked. “Love him “You?”

“No.”

He came out defensively, a reflex rather than a response. I had spent the last two years having nothing to do with the boys at my school. Now that I knew Manning, who looked nothing like them, I was even less interested in. But Corbin seemed different too, like he was listening when I spoke instead of trying to see under my top. “I mean, I love him fine,” I said. “But just as a friend. You?”

“Do I like Corbin?” He is only seventeen years old. Way too young for me. She flipped through her address book. “And it’s not really sexy when a guy likes you too much. That’s basically why I could never date someone like Corbin.

“I thought you said he had a little crush on you a while ago.”

“He did, but who knows if it was more? I just think it’s weird that he’s suddenly interested in you.

I had no idea how to respond to that. Corbin hadn’t raised Tiffany on the beach, but maybe he still had a thing for her. I didn’t care anyway. “I’ve never loved a guy who loved me in return.”

Her expression softened. “Don’t worry, it’ll happen. Especially when you have breasts. She chuckled. “Sorry. Don’t use this word. It’s disgusting. My friends always say it, but that doesn’t mean you should.Tiffany wasn’t often motherly, but when she did, it was good. As if she was watching over me. “Okay. I won’t. And thanks for saying the pie wasn’t soggy earlier.

“It wasn’t. I ate the whole piece and you know how I am about calories.

I smiled. Giving me his calories was a compliment. I had the sudden urge to k**s my sister. It had been a weird night. Some bad things had happened, like the fight and the possible k**s, but it could never really be bad because time spent with Manning was time to learn how to know. It was true even when we didn’t talk.

And now that Tiffany was losing interest, I would bring him back. At least until school started. After that, I wasn’t sure. I was

on the I was about to k**s Tiffany when a sudden loud knock at the door made us both jump.

“Tiffany?” Dad asked.

Like when someone came into his room, Tiffany gave him a sharp knock, as if it were was his programmed response. “What?” she asked.

He came in, saw me and pointed to the bathroom door. “Go to your room, Lake.”

He was angry. Again. Normally I wouldn’t ask her questions, but Tiffany had taken some of the heat tonight that should have been aimed at me. And I felt defensive. “For what?” I asked. “So you can be mean to her even more?”

My father looked shocked. My first instinct was to apologize, but I didn’t. I stayed where I was, shoulders squared.

“It’s okay, Lake,” Tiffany said. “Just go.” I looked between the two of them. Obviously they didn’t think it involved me, but it did. It was about Manning. So I went into the bathroom and put my ear to the door.

“What was tonight?” Dad asked.

Tiffany didn’t respond for a few seconds. “What do you mean?”

“You brought a stranger into my home. Someone who could be dangerous. You forced your mother and sister to go through the charade of cooking dinner and buying expensive wine. For what? What are you trying to prove?”

“Nothing-“

“He’s a vulgar, smug construction worker who jumps from job to job. Once he’s done with this house, “He doesn’t have to show up for work the next day. What’s stopping him from rounding up his friends to rob us in the middle of the night and skip town?”

I gritted my teeth so hard my jaw hurt. It was completely unfair. Manning had been nothing but respectful tonight. He had even made an effort to look good.

“He wouldn’t do that, which you would know if you gave him a chance,” Tiffany said. “But you didn’t.” You were so rude to him.

“Oh, please, you don’t know anything about this guy. You just want to have fun. When are you going to grow up? Do your friends get away with this kind of behavior?” “You’re exaggerating

.

” I don’t want you to see him again.”

“You can’t tell me what to do. I’m an adult.

“So start acting like one. Get a job. Or not, but if you want to continue living under this roof , you will do what I tell you.

“Maybe I don’t want to live here anymore.””No? And where are you going to go without money? If what you want is to f**k all day, go shopping and party, then replace a husband who can afford to take care of you. I guarantee you won’t replace it on a construction site.

“You don’t even care what I want,” she said, her voice rising. “You just want me to turn around and do everything you say without questioning it. Like the lake.

“You’re nothing like Lake,” he said.

They were silent. My heart was racing, as if I were there, standing in the room, only it was worse because I couldn’t see anything. It was true, I did everything my father asked me. And Tiffany didn’t do anything he asked. I wished, for once, she would just try it with him instead of deliberately pushing his buttons, making him say things to hurt her.

Dad spoke first. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“I know what you meant,” Tiffany said. “I’m not Lake and I never will be. If you don’t like the choices I make, then fire me. I’m not going to stop dating someone just because you tell me to.

“I will, Tiffany. Don’t test me.

“You would put your own daughter on the street?

“If I did, it would be for your f*****g good.” You have to learn-“

“Good,” she shouted so loudly that I backed away from the door. “I’ll be gone in the morning.” After a few seconds of silence, Dad’s footsteps pounded the floor and a door snapped. My breath caught in my throat. Maybe Tiffany and I had our differences, but oh my God, I didn’t want her to be homeless, I didn’t even know where she would go. Tiffany and I We grew up in this house, a separate bathroom. I stood there so long, listening to the silence, not breathing, I started seeing stars. I walked into her room. “Tiff?

”

She was still sitting where she was when I left, staring at her door. “What?”

“Are you OK?”

She blinked a few times and turned to me. “Do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

My hands were shaking. Tiffany tried so hard to be tough, but I knew she wasn’t. Maybe I was the only one who knew besides my mother. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of those things Dad had said to him. I crossed the room and she opened her arms as I launched myself into them. I was the one who started crying.

“Stop,” Tiffany said. She laid us on the bed, stroking my hair. “They’re not worth crying over.”

“Who?”

“Men.”

“Even Dad?”

“Especially Dad.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. I wasn’t sure what she meant by that. I had heard her cry enough times after their arguments. “You leave ?” I asked. “I don’t want you to leave. Please just go apologize to him.

“I do not go.”

“But you said.”

“I have already said it. I wasn’t serious and he knows it. He’s not going to fire me. I didn’t remember any of their arguments ending that way. It was as if Tiffany wanted to see how far she could push him. I looked at her. “Why didn’t you just tell him you were stopping seeing Manning?”

“Because that’s exactly what he wants.” He’s trying to control me and Mom.

“That’s not true,” I said. “He just wants what’s best for all of us.”

“For you and mom, maybe.” Me? He just wants to pretend I never showed up. His life would be easier if I wasn’t there.

She said the words so simply that anyone else might have thought they didn’t affect her. That she didn’t care. I knew she did, though. How could she not? He was her father. Even after all the fighting I had witnessed, I couldn’t believe she really thought that. “He loves you,” I said. “Things are just weird right now. When you replace a job, it will calm down.

“You don’t know anything, Lake. You are too young to understand. I will never have the kind of job he wants me to do. You will be. I’m not going to be a doctor or a lawyer or any of those boring things. He can’t stand that he worked so hard to give us opportunities just for me to waste mine.

Tiffany didn’t even try. She had barely studied, and she had skipped a lot of classes, especially her last year. I didn’t know if I was smarter than my sister, but I definitely tried harder. “You can do whatever you want, Tiffany. If you apply…

“Shut up,” she said without inflection. “You sound like dad. He says that all the time. “But this fight could have been avoided,” I pointed out. “You said you didn’t even like Manning.”

Tiffany blinked at the ceiling, tilting her head. Her hair tickled my neck, but I just looked at her. Her eyes wandered until she finally said, “I thought not. . but maybe I do.

My heart sank. She couldn’t just change her mind back and forth like that. “For what?” I asked. “Just because it makes Dad mad?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. It just made me rethink the whole thing, like maybe I hadn’t given Manning a real chance.

“It doesn’t seem right, using Manning to get revenge on Dad.”

Tiffany tore her eyes from the ceiling to look at me. She pushed me back and we both sat down. I thought she was going to kick me out, but instead she looked me straight in the eye. ” I guarantee you Manning has done worse than that to a girl. Men don’t care about women. They use them. The sooner you understand this, the better.

My stomach turned. Not Manning. He wasn’t like that. When I looked at him, talked to him, we connected. He gave me Birdy when I was sad. He gave me back my bracelet. He would eat anything I made. In my gut, I knew he was a good person. “I think it’s the other way around,” I said softly. “I’ve seen guys go crazy for you, and you ignore them.”

Tiffany smiled a little. “That’s how you play the game. The truth is men think they have power, but they don’t. We do. Like tonight, with Manning. When he didn’t want to do what I wanted, I told him not to call me anymore and I left. And you know what he did? My heart thumped. I knew. I tried to pretend not, but I “I succeeded. I had seen it with my own eyes.

“He kissed me. He puts on a good show – for a while there, I didn’t think he liked me at all. But he’s like every other guy.

I knew in my heart that wasn’t true, and maybe that made me a bad sister, but I didn’t tell him. I wanted Tiffany to believe that Manning was just another guy, because then she would treat him like one. She would get what she wanted from him and move on.