I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 60

LAKE

Monday afternoon, I was home alone for the first time since Manning came to dinner. I didn’t have to look out the window to know the crew was working next door – I could hear them.

I went to Tiffany’s room to borrow some shorts. I wasn’t brave enough to grab her skinniest pair, but everything she owned was shorter, tighter, or lower-cut than anything in my closet. I picked some from Tommy Hilfiger and held them up to my waist in the mirror.

Tiffany had been right the other night about Dad. The day after their argument, Mom made bagels and coffee, Dad read his Wall Street Journal, and Tiffany walked into the kitchen like nothing had happened. She had even mentioned going out to look for work that day and he had kissed her on the forehead on the way to work.

I put on the shorts. In a tank top and Converse, I grabbed my Young Cubs flyer before heading out. The first time I met Manning, I don’t remember being nervous. Now, however, as I walked toward the sidewalk, I had butterflies in my stomach and sweat at my hairline.

There was a lot going on, but I couldn’t see Manning. I walked, passing under scaffolding. A man wearing glasses glanced at me as I ducked into the frame of the house, but he didn’t stop me.

I found Manning towards the back, his profile towards me, his arms raised, a drill in his hands and a screw between his teeth.

Goggles, a helmet, and a red bandana around his mouth hid his face, but I would have known him anywhere. He punched through a wooden beam. His navy blue shirt was riding up, his tanned skin sliding over his waistband, the muscles of his biceps bulging with effort. I covered my stomach, unaccustomed to the violence with which he turned. Manning lowered the drill to inspect his work.

“Hi.”

He turned his head towards me and ripped the bandana off his face.

“What are you doing here?”

Shit He looked not only unhappy to see me, but rather angry. Maybe I shouldn’t have barged in like that – I mean, I could have just waited for him at the wall until his break.

“I-”

“Never walk onto a construction site without proper protection.”

He threw the drill onto a work table, his boots pounding the concrete as he approached me.

“It’s dangerous.”

“I…I’m sorry.” I hadn’t really thought about it.

He punctuated his question by removing his helmet and dropping it on my head. It was hot, sweaty and heavy – and it was Manning’s. With a large hand on my shoulder, he pushed me out of the house, walking with me. His warm, rough palm on my bare skin gave me that tight feeling again, but it started lower this time, not in my stomach like before.

“WATCH YOUR STEP.” He grumbled his words. “There are nails, and… just. . Watch where you’re going.”

I inhaled the men’s sweat and sawdust. Out in the dirt again, he pulled the hat off my head and threw it on the ground. I looked up at him as he was taking off his glasses. His black hair was sticking up everywhere. Despite the heat, he was wearing a dark long-sleeved t-shirt with the construction company logo printed on the pocket. A cigarette butt protruded from the top and the dust dirtied his collar.

“Is it time for your break?” I asked.

“I already took it,” he said, but he led me towards the wall.

“How How was your weekend?” I asked.

He leaned against the brick and took out his bag.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

It certainly wasn’t the greeting I was hoping for .

“I didn’t know how else to get in touch with you.”

He wiped his face with his shirt, showing off his flat, hard stomach. A tool belt weighed down his pants and my heart almost stopped. Hair The black ones I had noticed before were actually a trail leading to his belt, where there were more. He dropped his shirt, but there was still dirt on his face.

“Your sister, perhaps?”

I swallowed, stunned.

“What?”

“She could have called me if you needed anything.”

But you are my friend, I wanted to say.

“Are you mad that I came?”

He looked in his pack of cigarettes for a moment, then placed them on the wall.

“Was everything okay at home?” ” He asked. “After I leave?

” Of course, Dad had threatened to fire Tiffany, but he didn’t do it.

I didn’t want to make Manning feel worse than he probably already did because of that night. “I brought you something.”

He looked at me. “What is this?”

I took the flyer out of my back pocket, unfolded it, and gave it to him.

He used his sleeve to dry his temples.

“’Young Cubs Sleepaway Camp,’” it read.

“He has all the information to be an advisor,” I told him.

He scanned the page.

“Except what it brings in.”

“Eleven dollars an hour.”

“Eleven?” He looked surprised. “It’s high.”

“Days are eight hours long, even though you kind of work all the time. Even at night.

“But you can do stuff outside, right?”

“Everything I said, like canoeing and fishing and more. There are campfires too. You even sleep in the cabins with the kids. I was hanging out, but I couldn’t stop. “The deadline to apply was last week, but she said you should try anyway because she thinks they’re understaffed.” “

Her?”

“The receptionist at the Y,” I explained.

He looked at the flyer more closely.

“YMCA puts it on? My sister and I used to go to our local Y after school.

By the way her stance and expression calmed, I guessed That was a good thing. The problem was that camp was starting soon. I didn’t know much about construction, but our new neighbors’ house didn’t look quite finished. “

Both Next few weeks we have counselor trainings and meetings. Then we’re leaving. It doesn’t look like you’ll be finished in time. He

folded the flyer

. “Can I keep this?”

I nodded.

“The first meeting is tomorrow evening at half past six.”

He picked up his bag and took out a cigarette.

“You probably can’t smoke there,” I said. “At least not where anyone can see.”

“You probably can’t smoke there,” I said. “At least not where anyone can see.”

“I will do it by myself.”

“So will you come?”

He studied me for a moment. “You want me to come ?”

I squinted at the house. A flock of birds formed a “V” above us. Did a cloud want to float aimlessly? Did a sky want to be blue? I did not know. I couldn’t control my desire for him. It was right. “Yes,” I said.

“How to come?”

“I feel safe when you’re here.”

His eyebrows lowered. “Is it dangerous up there?”

“No, not at all,” I said quickly. “I mean, there might be bears.”

The wrinkles between his eyes disappeared. “Do you think I can protect you from bears?”

“I . .” I couldn’t tell if he was teasing me or not. If anyone could stand up to a bear, it would be him. “No? Maybe?”

He laughed, a rare sound that made me relax.

“Why is that funny?” I asked. “You’re as big as a bear.”

“Maybe to you, Birdy .”

I couldn’t contain my smile, even if I wanted to. “The meeting is at six thirty.” “

You already said that.”

“We could meet there ten minutes early, and I’ll introduce the principal. Or I was going to ask my mother to take me, but I could go with you instead?”

He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “What do you think, Lake, that I can just pick you up in my truck and take you somewhere?

Yes. Yes! A thousand times yes I had never wanted anything more. “Why not?” He shook his head, looking away. “As- Are you talking to Tiffany?

Like a wet blanket, the mention of my sister’s name ruined the moment. I stuffed my hands into the back pockets of my jean shorts. “Can I ask you something?” “Probably not

. “

“Do you love her?”

He stopped. “That’s something I should discuss with her, don’t you think?”

My throat was dry. I did not care. I wanted to know. “She discussed it with me.

He studied me. “Oh yeah?”

“I’m not going to tell you what she said.”

“I didn’t ask you.” I will talk to him.

I sighed to the sky. Nobody ever said anything to me. “But that’s not fair. You and I were friends first.

“Friends?” he repeated. “Do you think this is appropriate?”

I frowned. “I thought we were.”

“Your sister and I are friends. You and I, yes, we are too. But you have to think about what it looks like. When you introduce me to the camp director, maybe say that I’m your sister’s friend. You know?”

“No, I don’t know,” I lied, just to hear what he would say. “What does it look like for us to be friends?”

Manning exhaled deeply. “I am older and wiser. Trust me.”

Of course, I understood why we had to keep our friendship to ourselves. It was nothing to be ashamed of, but not everyone would understand it. This meant that for others, it There was only one thing that tied us together: Tiffany. “Are you going to ask Tiffany to go to camp? “

Yes.”

“But why?” I asked. “She thinks camp is for the losers.” “Because it would be good for her. Think about it. She’s not working right now, maybe a little aimlessly. “A little?” “Maybe she’ll end up liking

it

. “

I looked over my shoulder at the house, surprised that no one at home had thought of it. It was a good way for Tiffany to earn extra money and get space from the Dad’s part. But that meant I’d be giving up a week alone with Manning. I turned to him. “Is that really why you want her here? Or is it because it looks bad for you and me to be friends? »

Manning took out a cigarette. “I have to get back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“GOOD.” Frustrated, I walked back along the sidewalk toward my house. I should trust him. He had been good to me so far. He won me a pelican. He made eye contact with me. He didn’t talk about me like a lot of people did. Whatever his reason for wanting Tiffany there, I’m sure he was looking out for all of us.

When I reached the front door, I turned and looked back. Manning was still leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a lit cigarette between his lips.

Tiffany parked her car with a sigh and looked out the windshield of the YMCA.

“You don’t have to do this,” I reminded him.

“Manning asked me.”

“So you still love him?”

She looked at me. “I never stopped.”

“After dinner last week, you acted like you weren’t sure about him.” “And yesterday I hated overalls, but this afternoon I went to the mall and got some bought two pairs because I saw them on Heather Locklear. It’s not a crime to change your mind.

Lucky for her. Tiffany has changed her mind about a lot of things, like outfits and friends. She would the same with Manning too.

I got out of the car and looked around the parking lot, half expecting Manning to not show up. But there he was, leaning against the side of his truck, smoking. I waved, but it was dark and I couldn’t tell if he had seen us, so I started to join him.

When I was near, he put his cigarette on the ground. “You’re late,” he said.

He didn’t say much, but when he did, my heart dropped into my stomach. All the time, when we were apart, I thought of his deep, rumbling voice and wondered when I would hear it again. “I told you six twenty,” I said. “It’s six-nineteen.”

“Your clock is slow.”

“No, it’s not,” I said. I actually didn’t know who set the clocks at home, but I had always been on time at school. “Is it?” I asked. “Are we really late?”

He raised one corner of his mouth.

When he smiled, I smiled. “Are you teasing me?” I asked.

His expression changed when he looked behind me. “Hi, Tiffany.”

“Hi.” She touched me and opened her arms.

“What?” He asked.

“I’m trying to give you a hug.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do I look like a ten year old girl?”

“Please?”

With a sigh, he opened one arm. Tiffany snuggled up to him, wrapping herself around his torso. My stomach turned sour like I’d eaten rotten seafood.

“I missed you,” Tiffany said.

I turned away. If they hugged, he might k**s her again – and I was sure I’d throw up if he did. “We should go in,” I said, walking away.

There was no time to introduce Manning to the principal before the meeting. Gary was already standing in front of the small, crowded room, trying to calm everyone down. There was a podium in the center, but Gary never used it. I would recognize him anywhere just by his thick, black, curly hair that would have gone past his ears if it hadn’t grown straight out. A life-long beach bum, he had a perpetual tan and bloodshot eyes, and he was the only person I knew who would rather have a conversation with children than adults.

There was only one pair of seats left, and the rest were singles. GOOD. Let Tiffany and Manning sit together. I sat near the front so I wouldn’t have to see them kissing.

“Welcome to the first Young Cubs advisor meeting,” Gary said. He must have been at least thirty years old. He had been running the program since I had attended as a camper. “I’m happy to see some familiar faces and a few new ones.” Throughout the meeting, I refrained from looking back at Manning. He probably thought it was all childish, bored to death. Being a counselor was fun, though. Last year I had been in charge of one of the younger cabins, and the girls had been endless in their love and affection. They thought the world revolved around my co-advisor and me. There was no feeling like a group of little girls all arguing over who should be the one to hold your hand.

The meeting lasted half an hour and afterward I found Manning and Tiffany sitting in the back of the room. ” What do you think about it ? ” I asked them.

“Outside for up to eight hours a day? Tiffany asked. “Looks terrible. And dirty.

I shrugged. “Don’t bring nice things, and you’ll be fine. Manning?”

He didn’t give anything. “Let’s see if they have any openings first. As

if on cue, Gary wandered down the aisle between the seats, a big smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. “Good good. Kaplan Lake. We are lucky to have you for another year.

“Thank you. This is my sister and her friend. Manning didn’t even look at me as he stood up. I had done as he asked by introducing him as Tiffany’s friend, and that was my reward – nothing. At least, if I had called him my friend, I would have gotten a look of warning.

They shook hands. “Gary, right?” » Manning asked. “Manning Sutter.”

“Nice to meet you, Manning. You don’t look like you’re in high school.

“He’s not,” I said. “I was wondering if there were any paid advisor positions open for him.” “It’s a little late for that. We’ve already made all the hiring.” He twisted his lips. Gary was the kind of guy who liked replaceing solutions to everything. If he could help, he would. “We have discussed hiring an additional counselor due to an increase in campers this year.” “

I’m interested,” said said Manning. “I work in construction, and we will have a few weeks break during this time.”

“Construction? Do you think you could help with some projects around the campgrounds? “

Absolutely,” Manning said.

“Great. Let me talk to the board about it and see if I can change the budget. As for you…” He looked down at Tiffany. “I’m sorry. I did not catch your name ? »

“I’m Lake’s sister.” She stopped. “Tiffany.” “

Hi Tiffany. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to convince them of a second position. We have a lot of female hires. I’m sorry.”

Tiffany opened her mouth. I had seen this expression on his face before. Dad took her car for a week her senior year because she snuck out in the middle of the night to go to a party. She got it back two days later. “But I really want to go,” she said, looking at Manning. “And you just said you might need more help.”

“We will do it.” Gary smiled. “We would love to have you as a volunteer.”

Tiffany laughed nervously. “You mean for free?”

“For fun,” Gary said, smiling a little more. He turned to Manning. “We will need some information from you. Background checks and things like that since you’ll be around a bunch of kids.

“No problem,” Manning said. “Good. Let me get your number, and if I can work it out, I’ll call you.

Manning followed Gary to the front of the room, and I sat at Tiffany’s side. “It’s so stupid,” she said, pouting. “I don’t even want to go.” “You said you did.” “

If

Manning go, I want to. Obviously. A whole week away from mom and dad with him would be huge.

My whole plan collapsed before my eyes. “That’s not really the point of camp,” I told him.

“Most of the time you’ll be so busy with the kids that you won’t have time for anything else. And like you said, it’s dirty. “They have showers, right?”

” Well yes. There are children there. Personal hygiene is important.

“Well… I guess I don’t really have any big plans this week.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked around the room. “I think I recognize some of these people .”

“Almost all of them go to our high school,” I said. “Some of them were in your class.”

“Oh. What about hair dryers? »

“No.”

“Make up?”

“You’ll just want to wear lots of sunscreen.”

“I didn’t even think about it,” she said. “I bet I’ll get a killer tan from being outside eight hours a day.” She grabbed my hand. “Come on. Let’s go tell this guy I’m going to do it. I didn’t have time to agree or protest. She pulled me forward. The year before, I had asked Tiffany to come. She was fun and I thought it would be good for her to be with kids. But now? All I could see was what I was missing. I wanted Tiffany to be happy, ‘she’s replaceing direction. I just wished I could have Manning to myself again, like I had when we first met.