I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 61

Lake

Something about a dining room full of humans under fourteen amplified everything. The counselors yelled at the kids who were excited to be away from home for a week. Trays banged against tables, silverware banged against plastic dishes. Camp kitchen staff rushed the children into the buffet line. The cooked hamburger meat fought body odor – I was glad I wasn’t eating near the boys.

Cabin nine sat in the middle of the hall with Manning in the center of the picnic table. The boys laughed at what he said, looked at him between mouthfuls of sloppy joes, showed him things from their pockets.

Bursts of laughter at my own table brought my attention back to where it should be. Hannah sat at the other end of a long wooden table, eight nine-year-old girls between us. “What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Bettina loves Bobby Newman.”

In the four hours we’d been here, this wasn’t the first conversation between boys I’d heard. “Which one is Bobby Newman?”

They all pointed at Manning’s table and Bettina turned bright red. Luckily for her, the only “boy” who noticed was Manning. He sucked his teeth, holding back a smile, as if he knew exactly what we were talking about. Bettina’s secret crush. Mine too.

“What activity are you looking forward to the most, girls? » asked Hannah.

Reluctantly, I looked away from Manning’s. Was it fair to feel like I knew him well enough to say he was happy? I had never seen him so relaxed, so quick to laugh and smile, as I had since we arrived at the parking lot this morning. “Horses,” one of the girls shouted.

I was the only one at the table who disagreed. Climbing a large, unpredictable animal seemed no safer than riding an unreliable piece of metal in the sky. It was the only activity I sat down for. Like last year, I planned to wait at the stable while Hannah and the instructors took the girls.

“Then we have arts and crafts,” I said.

Some girls m****d, others giggled. Katie tugged on my sleeve. “Can we make friendship bracelets?”

“Of course.” We still had an afternoon full of things to do, so I wrote a drink check. “Has everyone had at least one big glass of water?”

“Yes,” they all replied.

Hannah and I exchanged a look. We had only gone through one pitcher between ten of us. I got up. “I’ll have more.”

As I waited for a restock from the kitchen staff, Manning came next to me and placed his tray on the buffet. He handed his plate to Bucky, who was packing up the warmers. “Fill it.”

Bucky was a local I recognized from last year. He pursed his mouth so hard it almost touched his eyebrows. “No seconds.”

“Come on man. You’ve got a lot left and I’m a growing boy.

Bucky had just served food to over a hundred kids, but that didn’t matter. He still looked the same grumpy. “Please, Bucky?” I asked.

He grabbed the plate and started shoveling food onto it.

“Do you still have seconds?” I asked.

“Are you calling me big?”

“I wouldn’t quit weightlifting yet if I were you.” Manning laughed. “I’ll ask if you want me to give you seconds too, but it looks like you can handle it.”

I had eaten everything on my plate but I wasn’t satisfied. “There’s dessert,” I said.

“Yeah? Do you want some?”

“I’m always hungrier here.”

He took his plate back from Bucky and I got the pitcher of water. Manning walked me to the dessert section, chose two chocolate puddings and handed me one. “Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked as he returned to the tables. “

Yes, but I knew I would. Are you?”

“I am,” he said. “A lot, actually. All the outdoor activities remind me of being a kid again. The boys’ enthusiasm is contagious, and it’s been a while since. . I mean, they stink like hell, but they keep me on my toes.

I laughed. Manning’s boys were nine, too. Like last year, some of them had not yet discovered deodorant. “Do we have anything together today?” I asked since the same age groups were often paired up for activities. “I’m just asking in case I need to bring a face mask.”

“I don’t know.” He nudged my arm with his elbow before stopping at his table. “I guess we’ll see.”

I went to turn around but stopped. I lowered my voice. “After lights out, most councilors come back to the dining room to relax and play games and such.”

“I heard.”

“Will you come?” I asked.

He looked over my head for a second. “Maybe.”

When I returned to my daughters, my smile must have been as bright as a light bulb. I was sure it took up half my face. “I want dessert too,” one of the girls said. I put my pudding back without protest.

« Avez-vous vu Tiffany ? demanda Hannah en hochant la tête vers la cafétéria. “Tu devrais peut-être aller la voir.”

“Have you seen Tiffany?” Hannah asked, nodding towards the cafeteria. “Maybe you should go see her.”

I watched. Tiffany had her finger in one of the girls’ face as if she was scolding her. She had been assigned to a cabin that no one wanted – twelve year old girls. They were vain, boy crazy, and learned to test boundaries. Part of me thought it was a fair reward for his arrogant behavior at that age, and the other part worried that only Tiffany or the girls would survive the week, not both.

I got up, walked down the hall to cabin eleven, and plopped down next to Tiffany. “How are you?”

I hadn’t meant to sneak up on her, but she jumped a mile high, whirling at me. Dirt streaked his temple and his normally perfect hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a week. “Jesus, LAKE. Hell on Earth. That’s how it happens.”

I had to laugh. “It’s the first day. Things are always a little crazy.

“You need to get me out of here.”

Two Tiffany campers watched. I silenced him. “They will hear you.”

“I don’t care. They’re a bunch of brats.”

“You’re a kid,” a girl said.

“Shut up.” Tiffany pointed at her. “I told you all to shut up.” “

Tiffany , stopped. You can’t tell them that.

She sighed, her upper body sagging. “I don’t like it, Lake. My co-advisor is only two years older than them and she is no help. I bit my thumbnail. “Try to remember what it was like to be twelve years old. There’s a balance between being their friend and commanding their respect.

“Can you help me? Please?”

“I have my own cabin to manage,” I said. Feeling sorry for her, I added, “Once they go to bed, all the instructors come back here to hang out. We can blow off some steam then.

Tiffany grabbed my arm as I stood up. “Don’t leave. Please.”

“I have to. I’ll see you tonight.”

The girls were in bed by eight o’clock and after a few police raids, including a gossip lecture, they had fallen asleep. Once I was sure they were out for the night, I grabbed Hannah to take her to the dining hall. The walk was short, but we had to pass through the woods to get there, guided only by the moonlight that the trees let through.

“Are you sure this is allowed?” Hannah asked.

“Yeah. Once the kids are in bed, we all hang out together, even Gary. The head counselors take turns throughout the week to walk around camp to check out each cabin. You may need to do that at one point.

“All alone?”

“Are you scared?” I teased. “You know I made up that bear story to get the girls to give away their candy, right?”

“Really? So there are no bears here?

A quick glance around the silent, deadly darkness made me shiver. “No there are.”

Hannah made a noise. I pressed her – it was actually a little scary – but I also wanted to see if Manning would come tonight. I figured I’d have to talk to Tiffany about the ledge too. In the cafeteria, the tables had been moved to the perimeter of the room, clearing the area. A boombox sat on the fireplace mantle and a junior advisor rapped to “Nuthin But A ‘G’ Thang.” Some people stood off to the side to talk, while others brought cushions and blankets to sit on the floor in a circle.

Manning sat with Gary and a few other counselors on plastic chairs they had formed into a semicircle. Hannah and I approached, all eyes on us as we approached.

“What’s new?” Gary said. “Take a chair.”

Manning stood up. “I’ll get some.” He walked away and lifted a seat in each hand. A girl I didn’t recognize had her chair a little too close to Manning’s. Now I not only had to worry about Tiffany, but also the other girls? “Move,” I told him.

“Uh.” She glanced behind me at Manning.

“Please,” I added.

She stepped aside as Manning added our chairs to the circle.

“When did you become so bossy?” Gary asked me as I sat down. “Last year you were a lot more shy.”

Even though my cheeks heated up, his teasing made everyone look at me, even Manning. “I said please”

“You should see her with the girls” Hannah said. “She’s the boss.”

” That ? » Manning asked.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “You look surprised.”

“I didn’t say you were shy.”

Neither of us were smiling, but the energy between us was light. Mischievous. Something about today had obviously softened Manning’s outer layer and I couldn’t help but feel responsible for it. The song changed and Hannah nodded along with the music. “God, I love LL Cool J.”

Manning looked at her. “Yeah? I would have guessed Mariah Carey or something.

She laughed. “I listen to both. LL is good at getting yourself into a certain state of mind.

“Yeah,” he said and laughed like it was some kind of joke.

Maybe it was. I didn’t know what a “local girl” was, but they seemed to know. “What mood?” I asked.

Manning looked at something behind me. “Never mind.”

“What are we talking about?” Tiffany asked for a second before falling into Manning’s lap. He cried out and she put an arm around his neck. “Oh please. You’re twice my size.

“Now I see where Lake gets it,” Gary said.

Tiffany tossed her hair over her shoulder, blowing a telltale whiff of Herbal Essences into my direction. There was no sign of the dirt I’d seen earlier, and she had full makeup on. The girl had showered. “Gets what? “

Playing the boss.”

“I’m not playing . I’m bossy and I don’t apologize. How else will I get what I want?” Her eyes sparkled with everyone looking at her. She looked up at Manning. “Okay, baby? “

Are you guys dating?” Gary asked.

Tiffany looked at Manning, so we all did too. “No.”

“We’re taking it slow,” Tiffany said.

“It’s cool.” , Gary said. “Just leave that stuff at home this week.”

“You have my word, man.” Manning patted the outside of Tiffany’s thigh. “Top.”

She kissed him on the cheek and stood up, then motioned for me to let her sit down. “Shift.”I could barely function enough to slide and share my seat. She just kissed him whenever she wanted. I kissed him. Sitting on him. She didn’t know how lucky she was. I didn’t think I would ever reach out and touch him. I looked at my hands, the dirt in my cuticles from planting trees earlier.

“How did it go today?” Manning asked him.

“Great.”

His smile was so fake I couldn’t believe Manning bought it, but he smiled back. “I’m glad. I was worried about you.”

“Ouch. Next time, come see me,” she said. “I missed you, and I could have used a little reinforcement.”

“I thought you said everything was okay?”

“It was . .” She shrugged, “But they’re a little difficult to deal with.

Tiffany actually blushed, which was rare. Meanwhile, my heart dropped a thousand miles. Why was he worried about her? Why did she miss him? They didn’t even care about each other. She took a sip from a red Solo cup that I hadn’t noticed before.

“What is this?” I asked him.

“Special grapefruit punch.”

I looked at the pink drink. “With alcohol?”

“Yeah. Do you want some? Manning had turned away to talk to Gary. I took the cup from him and sniffed the rim. It didn’t smell like grapefruit. More than once, my dad had come home moaning that “he needed a drink. I never really wanted to get drunk, but Tiffany and her friends and mine all made it so glamorous. Like pleasure in a bottle. Much better than feeling like it, jealous of my own sister, invisible to the only man who ever seemed to see me.

Yet I wasn’t brave enough to drink it. Camp was no place to be reckless. I didn’t know where Tiffany had gotten the alcohol, but it definitely wasn’t allowed.

I went to return it when Manning’s arm flew over my head. He grabbed my wrist so fast, the punch slammed the side on my top. “Don’t drink that,” he said.

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Oh, come on,” Tiffany whispered. “One sip won’t kill her.”

He turned to Tiffany, keeping my arm firmly in his hand. “What are you doing?”

“What?” she asked. “Our parents aren’t here for once. I just want her to have fun.

“She’s your little sister. She looks at you. If you tell her that underage drinking is okay, she’ll believe you.

My ears burned with embarrassment. I didn’t feel so childish when my parents told me were growling. “I’m right here,” I said.

“If she gets caught drinking, do you know what’s going to happen?” he asked Tiffany. “Have you even thought about that?”

She shrank. “No.” Manning lowered his voice. “Gary will kick her out faster than she can apologize.” He looked at me. “He’s going to call your parents to come and see you. look for it. Tonight.”

Going home was the last thing I wanted. I tried to pull my hand away, but I couldn’t even move it. If he was trying to warn me or scare me, his grip had the opposite effect. My insides churned as I realized the extent of his strength.