Love conquers all
8. Everything went dark

The sweet music stopped and the girls went back to dancing on the floor, closing me in their circle of dazzling smiles. As I danced, I felt the headache begin to arise overwhelmingly, but I was determined to fight against it. I would never let it ruin my party.

While I was thinking about how to fight my pain the DJ once again put on the sweet music for a slow dance. Abby looked at me with a pleased look, she had seen someone approaching behind me. I turned and my eyes met those of the “Beautiful and Damned!”

“My time has come!” He told me in a deep voice and my heart pounded beyond belief in anticipation. I said nothing to him, I gave him a sincere smile and took his hand. He pulled me into his arms and I put mine around his neck. Eye to eye we followed the sweet rhythm of the music, there was something in his gaze, in his touch, in his scent that attracted me more and more.

He came over and a few inches from my ear he whispered to me: “Have you thought about my proposal of yesterday?”

I nodded a yes and as I was about to answer I realized that I could not speak, slowly my eyes felt heavier and it was more and more difficult to control and keep them open. I could hear Nathan say my name over and over again as if he were talking underwater. Then suddenly, everything went dark.

I woke up in a dim room, a room I didn’t recognize. I looked around for some clues and soon after I realized: I was in the hospital. My mother was asleep in the chair next to my bed, while in the distance I saw someone. I focused my gaze and it was then that I saw Nathan, lying on the loveseat at the back of the room. A little later a nurse came in to check on my situation and approaching me with a big smile, she said: “You are awake, Myra! How are you feeling?”

It was that question that reminded me of what had happened before I found myself there.

My headache was still there, stronger than ever.

“I have a big headache!” I confessed to the nurse touching my temples, she promptly consoled me: “Don’t worry I’ll go get the doctor and I’ll come back with something for your headache!” She went out without saying anything else and when she closed the door the two in the room woke up. Nathan stood up stretching and walked over. My mother took my hand, squeezed it gently and whimpering, asked me: “How are you, my little one?”

“I’m fine, mom!” I said confidently, trying to reassure her.

“Okay, I’m going to talk to dad in the waiting room, I’ll come back right away.” My mother told me kissing my forehead. I gave my assent with a nod.

I was left alone with Nathan who stood staring at me.

“Come, sit here!” I said beating my hand on an empty space on the bed, I wanted to touch and smell him, I felt the need.

“I’m still in shock, it’s the second time I’ve seen you faint. The third time I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive!” He said bitterly as he uttered his line, as if he believed what he was saying.

“If you think you’re not strong then you better get your proposal back now!”

“Never.” He said with a quiet growl that made his chest vibrate, while it sent a shiver down my body.

“Nathan ...” I was interrupted by the sound of the door, Doctor Leporis came in greeting: “Hi Myra! Can you tell me how you feel?” She asked as Nathan left the room, leaving me alone.

“I just have a big headache.”

“Is this the first time this has happened to you?” He asked again while checking my vital signs.

“No for the headache, yes I fainted.”

“I understand. You have had some other symptoms: Vomiting, nausea, decreased vision ...”

“No, none”; I answered sincerely, shaking my head to reinforce my answer.

“Well Myra, this is one of the symptoms of your condition. Today we had a scheduled check-up which we will have in a few hours. I’ll show you once again the options we have and tell me which path you want to take.”

“I wish I had options with different results.”

“I agree, but unfortunately there aren’t any!” Dr. Leporis left the room and soon after the nurse came in with a pill for my headache.

“Take this. Let me know if you need anything else.” She said leaving the room too.

I heard someone knock on the door.

“Come in!” I screamed to be heard. Aurora’s red head came out of the door: “Can we enter?” She asked with a sweet smile.

“Of course yes!” Aurora, Andrea, Abby entered by storming my bed.

“I’m telling you dispassionately, you have to stop fainting in my presence!” Abby squeaked.

“You made me lose at least a month of life in the last week!” Andrea said and jokingly I told her: “You, on the other hand, should change the line!”

“Not funny at all!” Andrea retorted, sticking his tongue out.

“Does this episode have anything to do with the thing you were supposed to tell us, that one that was bothering you the other day?” Aurora asked in a serious tone of voice and I found myself nodding. There was no longer any reason to keep my fate hidden.

“Can you let Nathan in please, I wouldn’t want to repeat myself more times.” I asked Andrea who immediately got out of bed and went to call him. The girls were around me and Nathan was sitting at my feet. How I was going to get over that moment I didn’t know! Usually people who are in the situation I was in would probably have kept it all under wraps for the pitying looks you get when they replace out. That awful feeling of feeling like the pitiful case of their life. I, on the other hand, had grown up being a person out of the ordinary, so I was used to all that, what I was not used to was the fact that I was going to break four people’s hearts at that moment. I knew their feelings towards me and I felt I was the one who would have given looks full of pity towards them.

“The other day at the medical check-up they found me a glioblastoma. It’s a malignant brain tumor in a very delicate place.” I started by throwing the bomb first, in case I wasn’t able to continue with my story.

“So what do you do in these cases? What did the doctor suggest to you?” Abby asked with her brow furrowed in concern.

“They gave me options but they are not a permanent solution.”

“What are you trying to tell us, Myra?” Aurora asked with tears in her eyes.

“What I’m trying to tell you is that all the options I have ...” I started to cry and Nathan spoke for me: “The options are just to give you some more time.” He said bitterly in his voice, he understood the sad ending of it all. Nathan left the room without saying anything. I would have understood and accepted it if he had decided to withdraw his proposal after that revelation, I could not hide anything about my situation, I did not have much time and I certainly would not have wasted it trying to make someone love me from those who did not want it.

“Can you be clear, please?” Andrea asked me, in the hope that her ears had heard badly or her brain had badly coded the message.

“They gave me about four months doing nothing, 6 - 8 months with chemo and radiotherapy. They told me there is a possibility of a desperate attempt to have surgery, but it is a foretold suicide. This means that I have very little time… “, I began to sob and the girls followed me, sharing my pain united in a loving group embrace. I wish Nathan hadn’t left my room, that he had stayed to share our embrace, but I couldn’t do anything about it, but cry over my helpless state.

When the girls left my room, my mother sat back in the chair next to my bed.

“Mom, have you seen Nathan?”

“I saw him leave the hospital a little while ago.” I turned my head to look out the window, I didn’t want to meet my mother’s gaze. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to see anyone. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I woke up with a sweet hand on my shoulder that shook me as she called me: “Myra, it’s time to go for the PET.” The nurse communicated to me with a smile. I got out of bed and my mother helped me sit in the wheelchair. I did not care about the result of this examination, it certainly would not have changed my fate; what I wanted, what I strongly desired was to see Nathan. The nurse told me about the procedure and I nodded without really understanding what she was telling me. I was frightened by the sudden pinch I felt due to the syringe that even my skin, she injected me with a liquid and immediately after she made me lie on this machine with the arms above my head. Lying there in a single thin hospital gown, I closed my eyes so as not to feel cold. I closed my eyes and found myself at the entrance to the castle the moment Nathan had kissed me. My first wonderful kiss. Then I found myself at the moment when I was in his arms, at the palm of his face, when he had prevented me from falling into the corridor. Soon after I was in my room with our hands touching. Finally I was at my party, with my arms around his neck and his hands firmly on my hips. When he came to my ear to whisper, “Myra…