Lustful Hearts
Chapter 89: Cоurаgе - P2

The moment my eyes zeroed in on the repulsive scar a sob broke free. I threw down the mirror in disgust at the shocking vision before me.

Joel caught me as I collapsed into his arms, shaking while endless tears rolled down my cheeks.

I clutched at him bringing him in tighter, needing the comfort of his body right now. His soothing words were meant to offer some reassurance but nothing would appease me.

I looked like a monster. How could he even bear to look at me?

"It's not that bad," he whispered like he was scared to even say the words out loud, but I knew he was lying. I'd just saw evidence of that.

"I'm a monster," I cried, as more tears streamed down my face.

I felt him stiffen at my words, and I was quickly pulled upright so our faces were practically touching.

"Don't ever say that." His eyes were wide, and the anger that flashed inside them slightly unnerved me. I tried pulling away, but he held on tight. "You'll never be less than perfect in my eyes." "Yeah, right." He was just saying it to make me feel better, anyone could see I was hideously ugly.

"Your hair will grow over the scar; soon it won't be noticeable at all."

"I'll still know it's there," I snapped. It would always be there, taunting me, reminding me.

He sat back and a look of hurt flashed across his face. His comforting hands left my body, and I suddenly felt bereft.

"That scar will always be beautiful to me."

My eyes flashed to his. Was he being serious right now?

"It's there because it saved your life." His eyes now glazed over, and he took several deep breaths before continuing.

"Do you know what it was like for me getting the phone call saying you were critical, that you might not even make it?"

A tear trickled down my face at the realisation of the level of pain he must have gone through in that moment. I was being selfish, and right now I hated myself for it.

"Do you know what it felt like feeling powerless? Driving here to know you might not still be alive, that I'd never get to . . ."

His voice broke, and a tear slipped down his cheek. He hung his head, no longer able to look into my selfish eyes. I had never really thought of the impact it had on him. Now it was staring right in front of me. I felt so guilty being confronted with the ugly truth.

"Joel," I whispered, scared of his reaction as his head snapped up.

"Izzy, I had eight long days praying and pleading for you to wake up. The doctors barely gave us any reassurances. I could see it in their eyes, they were just as uncertain what kind of recovery you'd make, but I never lost hope. You're a fighter, you've always had that spark inside you, so determined to succeed. Please don't let something like this break your spirit. It's just hair, it will grow back, but this..."

His lips brushed just beside my scar, the skin still so tender. "This is beautiful to me. It gave me a second chance to prove to you how much I love you, to show you how happy I will make you for the rest of our lives."

His sweet words only succeeded in making me break out into a full-blown sob. He instantly pulled me close, consoling me, trying to calm my agitated state.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice barely audible while I cried hard into his chest, the sense of guilt so unbearably overwhelming.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, I just needed you to know. Hey, look at me, Iz," he urged but I couldn't, right now I was being a coward. I pushed my face further into his chest.

I knew he was waiting for a response, but I didn't quite feel I had everything under control just yet.

But within seconds his scent and soothing touch sent a wave of calm through me, and I soon felt strong enough to stare into those beautiful blue eyes that had broken me only moments earlier. "Forgive me," I begged.

"My beautiful brave girl, there's nothing to forgive." He pressed his lips against mine, and in an instant I forgot everything.

The nurse came in a while later to monitor and top up my meds. After making sure I was settled back in bed, he opened my Kindle at my request to begin reading. Due to the severe headaches I was experiencing reading was out of the question for a while.

But bringing in Joel was even better, hearing my books read with the silky tone of his voice was a perfect combination. Even once the headaches subsided, I knew I needed to make this a regular event. The cast was becoming more annoying by the day, it restricted my every movement and was doing my mood no favour. It was ugly, plain and bulky. The next six weeks were going to drag so bad till I'd finally have it removed.

After a few hours of reading, I let Joel have a break only for him to give me that smile that reduced me to a puddle.

"What?" The look on his face was priceless as he jumped up grabbing a pen from the drawer and handed me my Kindle.

I held it in confusion as he sat back down, moving my leg onto his lap. I raised an eyebrow in intrigue wondering what the hell he was doing.

"Open up your Kindle and tell me your best bookmarked quotes, I'm going to write them all over so when you look down all you'll see are the sweet words that make you swoon."

I almost swooned at his sweet words. "How do you know about my bookmarked pages?" I asked slightly intrigued. Men never knew about these kind of things.

"Well in between your naps a guy has got to keep himself amused and looking at those quotes, I have some stiff competition."

"Well, we ladies love our book boyfriends."

An amused grin touched his lips. "Book boyfriends?"

"Yeah, that's what we call hot guys in books that we wish were real."

His eyebrows rose in surprise. "And do you have any book boyfriends?"

Yeah, lots.

"Oh yeah, what girl doesn't." I rolled my eyes at the absurdity of it all. I could see I had already piqued his interest.

"Do you have a favourite book boyfriend?"

My lips curled up into a smile just thinking about him. "Of course."

"Who?" he asked a little too quickly. I could see a waver of jealousy flash in his eyes as I bit my lip. Was I about to reveal my number one book, boyfriend? Could he handle the level of love I held for this man? I kept it brief and straight to the point. "His name is Kellan, and he's in a band."

Joel shuffled further towards me. "Hmm rock star, hey? Well, Kellan needs to watch out." He moved so close our mouths were barely inches apart.

My eyes dropped down to his perfect lips before lifting back up to see his eyes sparkle with amusement.

"You'd make a good book boyfriend."

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

I smiled while my eyes flicked over that perfect body. "Well, you've got the right credentials."

He lifted an eyebrow in intrigue. "Like what?"

Like he even needed to ask.

"Well..." I breathed. "A book boyfriend has got to be very hot, have a ripped body and a face that would take your breath away."

I watched the flush rise slowly in his cheeks before continuing. "He can come in all different varieties, sweet, cowboy, alpha, biker, fighter and well, the general bad boy." "So which one appeals to you?"

"Oh, I like the tattooed bad boys." I bit my lip, watching a smile touch his before a frown crossed his face.

"Correction, I like the reformed tattooed bad boys that get tamed by their girlfriends." I pulled him in, and the frown instantly left his face only for a huge smile to take its place. "Well, I'd definitely fit under that category, 'cause you have definitely tamed me."

"I know." I winked, quickly silencing him with a kiss.

"I seriously don't think we can fit anymore." Joel chuckled as he sat back replacing the cap on the marker, his eyes scanning over his handiwork.

I smiled looking down at the cast now covered in quotes. Joel had taken photos from every angle to show me. The end result looked amazing.

"So Kellan, Travis, Liam and Gabriel seem to be your favourite, have I got competition now?"

"Well, I got to keep you on your toes in case you don't rise to the occasion." A huge smile crossed my face watching his eyebrows lift at my response.

"Oh baby, I certainly will always make sure of that, just wait till you're better." He gave me a wink and a look that I felt certain he'd keep his part of the bargain. "Well until then, let's get back to Archer." I tapped his face lightly, handing him the Kindle before snuggling down against the pillows as Joel pursed his lips. "Can we not read something else? This book is kind of sad."

"I noticed you filling up last time." I chuckled at his sombre face despite the fact I'd had to swipe several tears of my own away.

"But it's just so..."

"I know but Archer has a beautiful soul besides the heartbreak we need to see him get his happy ending."

He frowned at my words. "But what if he doesn't?"

"Trust me, Archer will get his happily ever after, I'd bet my life on it."

I nuzzled back further into the cushions, and Joel handed me my box of Maltesers and several tissues, sneakily tucking one inside his hand for himself.

He sighed, clicking open the Kindle and I smiled, closing my eyes while his silky, soft voice filled the air.00