Promises Forgotten
Chapter 22

***Zachary’s POV***

There was banging at the door again. How many times was this? It was pissing me off. I didn’t f*****g want anyone in the apartment. Hence the f*****g lock on the door. Not enough, well now the couch was thrown in front of the door. I moved out to the balcony with a pack of cigarettes and sat down on the only piece of non-broken or thrown piece of furniture. Lighting the cigarette, I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes.

Taking another drag of my my cigarette, I peeked over my shoulder as I heard the couch scraping across the floor. I wondered how many people were pushing the door open to get that thing to move. Honestly, it was heavy as f**k, but it was the first thing I trashed when I got home after I spent time with Evie. After I found out I had a son. She named him after my grandfather and I knew that wasn’t a f*****g coincidence. There was no way. After the heated bout with my parents over whether or not I intended on keeping the agreement with the Sinclair’s, I told them I would be putting everything on hold for now.

My father was angry, but he wasn’t marrying her so he couldn’t say much. Adrian had been angry, but I wasn’t about to decide the future of a multi-billion dollar deal when I had been drunk for over twenty-six hours. Even I had my lines I didn’t cross. The driver took me home late and before I went to bed, I started filtering through the emails, phone calls, and text messages from the day. When I found hers, an unknown number just hoping I was okay, it was shocking. Her replying and agreeing to see me was even more shocking.

It hurt, but I knew the amount of hurt she was feeling was immeasurable compared to mine. I felt a pull to her. A magnetism I couldn’t control. It brought me closer to her, a pull to always have her near and I couldn’t understand my own actions sometimes. Hearing her on the phone had been interesting. Gone was the sass or the hurt that I always felt when she spoke to me. That was until a mass of people forced me closer to hear her conversation.

Elliot. My son. A son I had with a woman I couldn’t f*****g remember. Her words continued to haunt me.

‘Once I leave, he won’t see me again. I won’t darken his doorstep again.’

“F**k.” I took a deep breath and then brought the cigarette back to my lips, blowing the smoke straight up.

Another loud bang and I figured at some point, someone was going to fit their body through the door. Adrian or Jason. Both of whom had the code. I knew I locked the door behind me. So one of them was on…my thoughts were interrupted by yelling.

“You fucker! Once I get in there, I’m going to f*****g punch your teeth out!” Adrian yelled and I chuckled.

“I’d like to see you try. Your right hook is worse than Mother’s.” I called back and he growled.

“Seriously, a*****e. Move this f*****g couch!” Jason called out as well.

Shaking my head, I put out the cigarette and lit a new one. Another scrape of the couch on the ground and I heard grunts and m***s of someone most likely trying to weasel their way into my space.

“Oh f**k. Stace…you’re gonna need different shoes.” Adrian called back. “I can get a better grip on the couch from here to move it. Help me push, Jason.”

I shook my head. These guys think they own the place. Just coming in and moving my shit around, inviting themselves in. I took a drag of my cigarette, shaking my head. The couch g*****d as they moved it. Leaning back again, I closed my eyes, cigarette pressed between my lips.

“Oh f*****g christ.”

I heard the crunching of glass that was sprayed all over the floor. Most of it was the full bottles of liquor I threw against the walls. Wanting none of it. It felt good. Getting out all my frustration. The frustration of hurting this woman who loved me with an unconditional love. A love she proved that would never leave. She now was a single mother with a single f*****g arm. The sacrifices that woman had made for me were innumerable. Here I was, sitting at the top of the world with zero memories. I wanted to hurt as much as she did. I wanted to feel the pain. Hell, I wanted to take hers away. I wanted to save her. Lift her up, but she wouldn’t f*****g allow it.

‘Once I leave, he won’t see me again. I won’t darken his doorstep again.’

Another puff of smoke left the side of my mouth before I felt the cigarette being removed from my lips. I opened my eyes and looked at Stacy, who was looking down at me, worried.

“You’re covered in glass and cuts.”

“You’re also breaking and entering into someone’s home without authorization.”

She scoffed and put out my cigarette, much to my dismay.

“You’re sober.”

“So are you. Are we making dumb assessments?”

She sighed. “I wasn’t expecting it. Not after two days of you holing yourself up in here.”

I shrugged and leaned back in my chair. “Life can go on without me for a few days. Maybe I’ll just chalk this up to my needed vacation.”

“Zach…”

“What, Stacy? What would you like me to f*****g say to you, huh?” I snapped at her, glaring and she jumped a little.

Jason stomped out to the balcony. “Hey, a*****e. Not needed. We were f*****g worried about you. Your place is f*****g trashed. What the hell, man?”

“It’s my shit. I can do whatever the f**k I want with it.”

“Zach…”

I growled. “Don’t f*****g say my name like that. I don’t want to hear the f*****g pity in your voice. You want a f*****g pity party, go replace a bar and drink.”

Jason came over and lifted me up by my shirt. “You want to go, let’s do it. I’ll f*****g knock you out.”

“What would that prove, Jason? That you’re better than me? I already f*****g know that.” I slammed my arm down on the crook of his arm and he dropped my shirt. Squaring my shoulders, I reached around Stacy and grabbed another cigarette and my lighter. I lit one and tossed the lighter on the chair.

“She has a son.” I leaned against the balcony railing, looking over the view. The view I used to love.

Stacy came over and gently turned me to look at the three of them, Adrian was now standing in the doorway. “What?”

“She has a f*****g son! My son. I have a son with a woman I don’t f*****g remember. A woman who bleeds every time she sees me and thinks of me. A woman who stayed true to our marriage. A woman who f*****g carries our wedding bands with her around her neck. She has a f*****g bionic right arm because of me. How the f**k am I supposed to react to all of this?”

“Z…”

I winced. “Don’t f*****g call me that. Don’t…just…don’t…” I turned back to the view, blowing smoke into the air. “I’m not Z. I can’t be Z. I’m not the love of her f*****g life. I’m just some CEO billionaire a*****e. I’m Mr. F*****g Anderson.”

Stacy’s arms snaked around my neck and pulled me to her. “It’s okay to be hurt, Zach. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. Stace, her pain…”

“Her pain is hers. Frankly, she is a stronger person than I think all of us combined, but she has her pain. You have yours. It’s okay to feel your pain, too.”

“I…” My voice broke and I cried into her shoulder. “I lost it. I had it and I f*****g lost it. It was in my hands. The life I wanted. The life I dreamed. It was in my hands and it’s gone, Stace. It’s f*****g gone.” Sobbing, I wrapped my arms around her and howled. I felt both Adrian and Jason’s hands on my shoulder.

“We are here for you. No matter what you need. You know that.” Jason added, I could hear his sadness in his voice. Shaking my head, my shoulders shook as I cried.

Adrian squeezed my shoulder. “Tell us how we can help. Anything. Let us help.”

I took a deep breath and straightened. Smiling absently, I looked out over the view. “I think I’m going to take some time. A few weeks. Just to…straighten my head out.”

Stacy smiled. “The office in France is still in the middle of being constructed. If you want to head over there. Excuse of business, but just take a few weeks for you.”

“Yeah. Sounds like a plan.”

‘Once I leave, he won’t see me again. I won’t darken his doorstep again.’

My smile failed and I looked down. “I’ll leave the details to you guys then. If you don’t mind.”

“Of course, man. We got this. Do you want…”

I shook my head. “I just need to take this one on my own. For my own sanity.”

Jason nodded and patted my back. “We will be here when you get back. I can have the plane ready to leave in a few hours.”

“Good. I’ll grab what I can and head to the airport.”

“We will…” Adrian looked back at the penthouse. “…take care of this.”

I nodded. “Don’t bother filling it. I’m going to sell it.”

All of them looked at me. “What?”

Looking back over the view, I shook my head again. “The view just isn’t the same.”